How many times do humans have to learn that full-size Lincolns don’t fly well? In October 1979, American stuntman Kenny Powers (not the one you’re thinking of) tried to fly a rocket-powered Lincoln Continental across the St. Lawrence River with predictable results. Almost 44 years later, media outlet SFist reports that someone sent a Lincoln Town Car off San Francisco’s Sanchez Street stairs, also with predictable results. Oh, and like the infamous Super Jump, this latest incident was captured on video. Take a look:
Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a shocking crash, but with pedestrians, traffic, parked cars, and several tons of concrete in the area, this is as close as the Town Car driver could’ve come to sticking the landing. The area was clear of people, the car rotated ass-over-face, a tree helped break the fall, and the only vehicle the Lincoln hit was a second-generation BMW X3 that received a love tap on the bumper and a showering of falling tree debris. With the miracles of modern paintless dent repair and the relative inexpensiveness of plastic parts, there’s a good chance that thing isn’t totaled.
Replying to the many media outlets calling about this:
This was a non-injury collision occurring last night at 7:18 PM.
When Truck 7 #SFFDT07 arrived witnesses stated that: “all the occupants fled the scene”
The crew of Truck 7 confirmed no injuries and assisted a tow truck… https://t.co/8WLpWOmlG4 pic.twitter.com/iRXIaVWuFf
— SAN FRANCISCO FIRE DEPARTMENT MEDIA (@SFFDPIO) July 23, 2023
The San Francisco Fire Department has confirmed that this was a no-injury crash both on Twitter, which might not be Twitter anymore, and to SFist, a media outlet whose name can be read two ways. Granted, the no-injury status of this crash might be due to how everyone in the Town Car dipped pretty much as soon as they returned to terra firma. Still, everyone involved walked away, so you didn’t just watch someone die on video. Oh, and speaking of video, Twitter user BlueyAnon posted some footage of the run-up to this Town Car’s fateful end.
Yet another dangerous example of an autonomous vehicle driving recklessly throughout SF streets! Oh, wait a sec… pic.twitter.com/eyqmmzquPA
— BlueyAnon (@BlueyAnon) July 23, 2023
Man, talk about blowing a braking point. Now look, I like playing Driver: San Francisco as much as the next guy, but those scenarios of leaping through Bay Area streets just aren’t realistic. Stunt jumps don’t typically exist in real life for a reason — it’s incredibly easy to get hurt or killed when launching a vehicle through the air, as the landing’s what typically gets you. Everyone involved here, save for perhaps the owner of that BMW X3, is extraordinarily lucky.
If you ever find yourself in San Francisco with a disposable Lincoln Town Car, don’t try this. This is incredibly dumb. Astonishing to watch, but mostly incredibly dumb. I don’t know how someone surpassed the over-street aerial idiocy we saw back when someone jumped a Tesla Model S in LA, but that’s life. It never fails to surprise you, good or bad.
[Hat Tip to Mike!]
(Photo credits: Julia Brown/YouTube)
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I live in an area of Philadelphia that has lots of staircases like this between streets and neighborhoods and anytime I walk on them I’m always thinking is a car about to barrel of control, either by no parking brake or no brakes in general, down the stairs.
It is not the flying but the landing that will get you. Fortunately Frisco is as barren as the Mohave dessert nowadays.so no injuries.
Walk into a propeller, dingus
While literally a dozen people show up in a minute. Solid take.
Well it’s clearly Bad Take Dave Horchack once again. I guess he got banned for the second time or his taco truck broke down.
Yeah, I was afraid of that. He’s a special kind of special.
Frisco is in Texas. It’s called San Francisco.
The correct choice of livery for when you absolutely have to catch a flight.
The trees that slowed the car’s descent can now be branded as Lincoln Logs.
I’ll have to cross Town Car off my list for budget overlander rigs.
If you’re going to San Francisco
Be sure to wear some tree leaves in your hair
If you’re going to San Francisco
You’re gonna meet some Lincoln people there
For those who come to San Francisco
Cars will be careening down the stairs
In the streets of San Francisco
Lincoln Town Cars flying through the air
Genius
Oh it’s a panther platform car? Just roll it back over, it’ll be fine.
It really is a testament to how sturdy these things are that all 5 of those jackasses got out safely.
Damn it who switched grandma’s meds around again?! She’s not willing to give up the Wild Turkey and was specifically told not to take the pain medications before happy hour!
I feel sorry for that tree.
LEEROY LINCOLNS!!!
“I left my parts in San Francisco”
Too soon?
Good on the bystanders that didn’t just stand there and use their phones to film the incident.
A couple people really rushed in to help.
If you do jump in I was taught (could be outdated advice, correct me if I’m wrong).
1. Don’t say “someone call 911” appoint someone directly to call so everyone doesn’t think someone else is doing so.
2. Don’t start pulling people out of the vehicle unless it’s completely necessary. Try and keep them where they are until EMS arrives (pulling them out could aggravate internal or spinal injuries).
I think if they are completely upside down, and hanging from seatbelts, exceptions can be made.
When a person is hanging upside down from a harness in a car, we were taught to let the upside-down person initiate the unbuckling process if they were capable of doing so. This avoids turning them into a lawn dart as they crash down into the roof of the car. Getting out from that situation in a caged car can be very tricky so we make sure the occupant can brace themselves before unbuckling.
Edit: Words be hard
It sucks to be so broke that you’re upside down on a Lincoln.
Heres your sign!
3 minute response time on the firetruck. That seems pretty good!
The SFFD Folsom St Station is about a mile away
Alternate headline: SF driver loses stairing contest
Many of our cities are located on land that isn’t exactly ideal, and SF is one of them.
Try driving around that city… sitting at a light pointed straight down, with your seat belt the only thing preventing you from tasting your windshield. Hills so steep that you put the car in park and the pawl snaps. I saw one driver park but couldn’t get out, because they couldn’t open the door against gravity. I saw a car squeal through a downhill red light with all four wheels locked.
But hey, Palo Alto sure is nice.
Well, that and the car was boosted.
I once rode my Ninja – with a passenger on the back – down Lombard Street.
That was essentially an extended pushup, holding us both up and helping the passenger to stay on the pillion.
‘SFist, a media outlet whose name can be read two ways.’ Three, I think you’ll find. The intended ‘ess eff ist’, the rude ‘ess fist’, and the self-referential ‘sophist’.
“Looks like those Duke boys better grow wings.
Or start flapping their arms pretty hard.”
That’s one small step for (a) man, one giant leap for Lincoln.
COTD
Well Lincoln fares better in Frisco than Fords Theater.
The French judge only gives this a 3/10
Who’s Kevin?
And Fred?
Several people filming them and she’s calling them all by name…
“SFPD has no leads”
The bystanders should have pinned those fuckers on the ground. They could have killed someone.
In this day and age? No way I’m touching anyone because you never know how they’ll respond. You could get shot, stabbed and/or sued out of this life.
The real story here is some internet douche co-opting Bluey.
Man, driver treated those stairs like they were the front door of a Florida supermarket. Let me guess the cause “I was standing on the brake pedal, but the car kept going, I think I was hacked”
ran when parked, no title
Light roof damage from tree debris.
Ran when launched, real wood trim!