Houston is one of America’s great big cities, full of amazing food and usually capable people. When the world has a problem, it’s Houston they call. The Bayou City can handle almost anything, but about three inches of snow will absolutely wreck anyone who tries to drive anywhere. That’s what happened yesterday and it was complete and utter chaos.
Growing up in the Greater Houston Area, I’ve been through a few ice storms and some extremely light snow. Houston is basically a collection of overpasses with a few homes and restaurants nestled in between, so when it gets a little slippery it rarely ends well.
I’ll share some more videos I’ve collected from friends back in Texas, but please enjoy a clip that combines the hubris of drivers and the worst outcome of one reporter’s best intentions. This was posted yesterday by Houstons NBC affiliate KPRC, and if you can’t see it below check it out at this link:
What’s happened here is that a driver, by the name of Jalell, was passing through Houston when he found himself stranded on a particularly terrible stretch of road to be on in a snowstorm. As you can see from the screenshot below, taken nearby, you’re on a sunken stretch of US-59/I-69 that usually collects flooding rains but, in this case, is trapping snow.
Having lived off this highway, it’s basically a long uphill climb until you hit one of two splits in the highway. Here’s the look heading north.
And here’s what it looks like a little further up the highway, where I think the reporter, Gage Goulding, is with his cameraman:
Again, a terrible place to get stuck, especially as the Texas Medical Center is nearby and this route is often used by ambulances to deliver people to the hospital. Perhaps that’s why, when we start our scene, the journalist is hoping to help Jaleel at least get off the highway and out of an exit.
At first, it doesn’t go well. The W221 S-Class, which appears to be a non-AMG S 550 or S 450, is rear-wheel drive and likely has an open differential (Mercedes, even on AMG products, rarely uses a mechanical LSD). The reporter has tossed some found foam under the rear and attempts to push, but to no avail. A passerby even tries to help, but can’t get it it work and eventually spins out his Toyota Corolla trying to exit.
The best part of the first part of this video is the reporter fist-bumping and apologizing “I really thought I was going to help you out, Jaleel, I’m sorry bro. I thought I was stronger than that.”
In the background some cars are trying to get around, since the S-Class is stuck where the road splits. The reporter makes the point that RWD (at least on all-seasons) is the worst configuration, and if you slow down you’re going to get stuck. Eventually, another passerby comes to help and they really throw their shoulder into it.
The Mercedes doesn’t move at all, just free-revs with no wheelspin.
“You’re not in gear, dawg,” explains Goulding, which is just the most Houston response to the situation imagineable. Eventually the Mercedes gets pushed in gear only to immediately get stuck across even more of the road.
“Oh man, now we’ve created an even worse situation,” says Goulding, explaining that the path towards the hospital is now blocked.
To the reporter’s credit, it’s a little worse than it was, but trying to help was probably the right move here in abscense of any other assistance. The best outcome was a better equipped vehicle arriving. The lifted KPRC F-Series looks like it can move out of the way, so I don’t think the hospital is truly blocked (and there are other ways to get there).
At the end of the report, Goulding explains he’s going to try and see if they can get Jaleel’s S-Class off the road and let’s just assume that’s what happened.
Elsewhere in Houston it wasn’t quite so dire.
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Here’s the Houston Police Department (HPD) out doing donuts in their police cruiser. There are two other police cars there and I’m going to assume everyone was getting in on the fun. I don’t hate it! With global climate change coming it’s about time these officers learn how to drive in the snow.
Here’s another police officer, full lights on, doing the same thing:
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Skiing on the highway? Sure.
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Keep it real, Houston. Keep it real.
A SETX friend sent me a photo of the Rainbow Bridge in Bridge City that looked like a Winter Olympics ski jump ramp. It’s probably all melted down by now.