It’s our big spring membership drive and we don’t have any tote bags for you. Sorry. We do have shirts, stickers, badges, discounts, and the prospect of David Tracy living in a damn Pontiac Aztek. Like normal people. Also, you’re gonna want to read this post to find out how David’s girlfriend found out this was happening and what you can do if you’re already a member.
Most importantly, this place runs on membership so please become a member at our two-year anniversary rate of 20% off (on annual plans). If you’re already a member we’ll also count an upgrade in our tally because, at 200 new members/upgrades in April, David buys a Pontiac Aztek with a tent, daily drives it for a month, and lives in it for a week. You can also gift a membership by clicking any of the gift membership links here and we’ll count that as well.
Our current tally is: 52/200!!!!
This means we’re already 25% of the way there in just one day. Let’s keep this going and maybe we can be purchasing this Aztek this weekend.
Why is membership important? Our goal is to use membership to keep ourselves honest and stay connected to our audience while also trying to shield ourselves from the ups and downs of algorithms and ad markets. Yes, we have some ads (you’ll see fewer of them if you become a member), but we have fewer than almost all of our competition and we’d like to keep it that way.
So, become a member to get a bunch of stuff, make David sleep in an Aztek, and help keep this community thriving.
How David’s Girlfriend Found Out
David has a girlfriend and his girlfriend is pretty fantastic. She’s a smart, successful, elegant adult. [Ed Note: You forgot the “and” before “fantastic.” -DT]. You wouldn’t instinctively guess that this would pair so well with David, but she also has the benefit of having a great sense of humor and a laid-back California way of rolling with whatever shenanigans that come with knowing David.
Of course, David is pretty fantastic, too, or else there would be little reason to continue to deal with his harebrained ideas and impossible schemes. At least we all work with him so there’s no trying to explain him to, like, normal people. David’s partner, though, has a real job, so things like this happen:
Lolololol. Become a member because there’s at least a 15% chance that this won’t be the last time David has to live in his car.
I joined, but I feel like I am seeing ads still…..
Wait, this was real?! I thought it was for April Fools…
They don’t believe in April 1st, and were celebrating March 32nd.
I need to remember that.
Will the Aztek be better or worse than living in the future Autopian RV? Let’s get to 200 new memberships so we can find out.
You might be too late to grab the tent, since it’s been marked pending. https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/4817424324957576/
The comments here is the best thing I’ve read in months. You are all hysterical.
NEW GOAL:: 400 new members and Jason has to live in the Aztec with David!
I don’t know their 24 hours in the VW van was a bit exhausting to even read about, not sure I want to see the chaos a week would bring…
Do you think the GF has read/seen the 24 hours in the VW stunt?
I’m pretty sure he’s only letting her read his back stories a little bit at a time. That would be too much to grok all at once. Remember we’ve all had years to grow along with David and his adventures.
All I know is she must be really special. My wife is extremely understanding but she’d run for the hills if I ever pulled the “I dyed my clothes with used engine oil” or “can you clean engine parts in your dishwasher” stunts, even in my single and feral days…
My dad and I may have destroyed a dishwasher, or two, back in the day. My wife would run for the hills if I took her on a European vacation with the accommodations being a diesel minivan to sleep in and a cold sea to bathe in.
Yeah, the European vacation in the minivan would have been another no-go…
Yeah, and those were the 2 BEST articles EVER on “that other site” (2 of my favorites at least) Since they were so off the wall they were “GOLD, Jerry…GOLD!!!”
As I recall, weren’t they pretty early in David’s tenure there? I just remember reading them in a perpetual state of “what the hell is this guy thinking?” They definitely have a spot of honor beside Demuro’s Range Rover saga (didn’t it start on Oppo-Lock then migrate to the main site?).
I’d have to say though, (and no disrespect to DT) my favorite single thing from the old site is probably the Carguments video with Kristen and Raph arguing about the proper pronunciation of Porsche. Kristen seemed so deeply offended by Raph’s nonchalance about the pronunciation I thought she might stab him.
Yeah, pretty early. I found the oil one dated Dec 2015 and couldn’t find exact date of the dishwasher one but think it was later. I haven’t seen the one you mentioned but it sounds funny- will look it up now. I just like off the wall stuff
Ok, that was funny since it’s always been Porsche (American pronunciation) in my head. I actually used to know someone who worked at a Porsche dealership and they told me they train them to say it the German way
I’ve been planning on signing up for a while now, but David’s post pushed me to finally do it. Now I’m probably going to feel guilty if the goal of 200 is actually reached.
I see David is much more concerned about keeping his i3 charged than his iPhone…
I honestly LOL’ed at work when I saw the text response with the “I WILL DO IT” top shot.
Tough to wiggle out of that one.
Looking at the topshot, is that a threat or a promise? Yes.
that 8% is stressing me out
edit: and the 99 unread messages
You need a level between Velour and RCL… maybe ‘Synthetic Leather’ so I can upgrade and encourage DT living in an Aztek.
Lol, it would be cheaper to probably gift a cloth membership but I’ll think about it! It’s a fair point that Velours can’t easily upgrade.
I second this. There’s a big jump between Velour & RCL that I can’t swing. Would love to get DT into an Aztec.
Good point. If anyone wants a cloth membership, reply here and I’ll sponsor you for a year.
“I’ll take it!” -Kramer
“I can have as many caffe lattes as I want! It says right here!”
I couldn’t figure out an obvious way to do it, so I’ve emailed Matt.
Got it, THANK YOU! I could use it right now- I do owe you one for sure (Also, I know I was making Seinfeld jokes but at the same figured you were serious in helping so I definitely appreciate it!) I seriously do read every article and this site is my favorite on the whole internet- it literally does make me happier
Maybe MB-Tek membership?
Upgraded to Vinyl. Feels so much swankier than Cloth
You’re looking better already.
Upgraded to an annual. Although I’m not sure I actually want the Aztec Content. I imagine it’s going to be an entertaining train wreck. At the end the Aztec should be smashed by an actual train, that would be splendid.
DT you smooth dog
That’s him trying to make up for how she found out about this harebrained scheme of his.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ru8DMW-grY
Make that a maximum of 50 more upgrades… probably fewer.
“This is a car website. If I wanted to see David flirt with his girlfriend in the editor’s notes, I’d be…BLAH BLAH BLAH…..”
Anyone else surprised that David has an iphone? He just strikes me as a guy running around with a many year old mid grade android phone held together with some tape.
Nah if you’re not picky the iPhone is the default phone. Walk into Verizon, say “Need phone” and you’ll walk out with the latest iPhone. It’s the Rav4 of cell phones.
David Tracy has gone full Hollywood man!
If only they could make it rust. I guess a wrap or case will suffice.
He did not have one. We made him get one.
He used to have an Android, but a month ago I texted him and his reply came back blue.
I had figured that his girlfriend’s family didn’t want him polluting their all-iPhone group-chats with his android messages lol.
Like me? Galaxy S9 here…I’ll never turn to the dark side and get an IPhone…Android all the way! When people still had landlines the phones would last decades…yes, cell phones are different but they should last years…I don’t “need” a new phone every year or 2
Is “sunova” David’s disarmingly adorable catchphrase to stay out of any real trouble when he’s doing hijinks?
That phrase triggers the laugh track.
Hahah, yes, both in text and in real life.
I personally hear Chris Farley on the rare occasion I read “sunova”.
Well I’m glad the “living in it” experiment got downgraded to a week. (Not sure if it was a month previously) David should be careful though, that’s plenty time to do some soul searching on whether she should tolerate further experiments like these. Like a commenter yesterday said, I want video footage of how well/bad the tent holds up when you give it full beans. I’ll try to join up now, but if it doesn’t work here in the office I’ll try again tonight at home.
Well, at least the cats are used to living in a vehicle for extended periods of time.
I think he needs to commit his GF to staying with him in the Aztek next time.
So you’re *trying* to break them up?
I’ve officially added to the tally! Hope we get to see David in the Aztec! 🙂
Cheers! Gotta love a membership drive that has something at stake, you know?
(Ignoring the, uh, continued existence of the site and the well being and employment of its staff and writers. Stakes!)
Her reaction indicates she doesn’t know about the shower spaghetti and/or the Scion “food experiment”
Somehow David’s phone at 8% is the least surprising thing about this charade
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
And yet the phone still has more battery capacity remaining than David’s Leaf.
harsh yet accurate
Stretch goal of 1000 to put Adrian in a fancy hotel far away from this buffoonery.
If I wasn’t already a member, I would donate to that.
How many do we need to get Adrian into the Aztec?
How many do we need to get Adrian in the Aztek with David?
There is not enough money.
I want to upgrade from monthly to yearly using the 20% discount, am I going to get double charged? I just got billed on March 26th.
You should not, no. It does the math. If it doesn’t let me know.
It actually did the math perfectly, now I am member 53 upgrading lol
Should set up a stretch goal of 350 that will have Torch walking with a sandwich board extolling a religion that worships tail lights
I’d bet that’s just what Torch does for funsies on the weekends anyway
Can confirm. “AMBER IS THE ONE TRUE LIGHT”
Torch is the one true prophet.
We have not seen pictures of the “other side” of the Changli. I imagine his extollings are there.
Oh, upgrades count too! Good to know!
Question, if I upgrade, will my renewal time be this time next year, or when I initially joined? I ask, because I promised you I’d join as soon as you made comments/replies work, and true to my word I did. But of course you had to go do that at the time or year where I’m most broke, August (I do not get paid in July or August). So it would be quite beneficial to me have my renewal time be this time of year.
Helping to force David to live in an Aztek, well that’s just gravy.
I just upgraded yesterday and it said my Auto-Renewal will be a year from yesterday, basically it credited me for the unused portion of my lower tier membership and treated the upgrade and renewal as if I was starting a new membership at that higher tier.
Good to know, thank you!
Apparently, DT likes his phone to operate in the same way he likes his cars. As in, JUST BARELY useful. 8% battery? Plug in, man!
If he plugs in the phone, the leaf wont make it to work.
Comment of the day LOL!!
+1 COTD, perfect
This is gold.
Shoot, I made a Leaf joke in a reply to a different comment before reading yours.
Came to comment on this, left satisfied.
He’s waiting for BMW to replace his battery for free