It’s easy to be judgmental about the sorts of accessories people put on their cars. It’s fun, too! No, no, I need to be better than that. Whatever people want to put on or in their cars is fine by me, if it makes them appreciate and enjoy their cars more. Well, maybe with one exception: fake sunroofs. Yes, that’s an actual thing that exists in our world and can be purchased with money. A fake sunroof is also exactly what you think it is: something that looks like a sunroof, but isn’t. In fact, it’s just a sticker. Really, the more you think about it, the more ridiculous it is, which is why I think we need to address this.
Normally, I’d say that I bet you’ve seen these out in the world, but the truth is I can’t necessarily guarantee that, because for as insipid as they are, fake sunroofs do actually manage to do their job well: they generally look a lot like real sunroofs. So, maybe you’ve seen them in the wild, maybe you haven’t? Unless you’re quite close to the car and really looking, it’s pretty hard to tell what is a fake sunroof, because actual sunroofs tend to just look like black, glossy rectangles as it is.
Here, look, I have a real and fake sunroof side-by-side:
I mean, credit where credit is due, the fake sunroof is pretty convincing. You see a car drive by with a fake sunroof, and I’m sure any of us would be thinking, “Oh, hey, that Maxima has a sunroof. I best record this in my notebook of cars I encounter with some sort of opening or light-admitting roofs, which I then intend to turn into a screenplay that will become a major motion picture. I sure am pleased I encountered a car with a real, factory-installed sunroof today.”
There are a shocking number of fake sunroofs for sale online, if you ever decide to look.
Some of these even go above and beyond the simple flat sticker method, and emulate a sunroof in one of the tilt-open positions:
I always thought that was the most awkward-looking position for a real sunroof, so I’m a bit surprised to see that there are options to emulate that. Here’s another one of those, in video form:
I have so much trouble understanding the motivations behind these. I get that fundamentally, it’s about status: the car’s owner wants to convey that they’re successful and have high status, and I suppose having a car with an option like a sunroof helps to convey that? In that sense, it’s sort of like those fake car phone antennae you’d see in the 1980s and 1990s. Remember these things:
The problem with both the fake sunroof and fake cell antenna is that they’re only really effective at a certain social distance; they can’t bear up to the scrutiny of actually entering the car, where the fraud will be revealed by the absence of a car phone or the solidity and unbrokenness of that car’s headliner, free from any apertures or glass or sunroof of any kinds. Also, likely free from leaks, which is one up on sunroofs, so there’s that.
But this is an inherently sad sort of thing! Look at the copy in that fake cell phone antenna ad. It’s brutal in its honesty, and the rawness makes me feel uncomfortable: “They’ll be impressed, but only YOU will know the truth.” What is the truth they mean by that? Is it the truth that you’re too much of a broke loser to really afford a car phone? That’s a lot of truth to be reminded of while driving. And the way it says “…the swivel base help[s] perpetuate the deception,” just lays so bare what’s going on: the buyer of this ten-dollar monument to insecurity bought it to deceive.
The fake sunroof is no different. Its intent is also to deceive, and if, somehow, a person was so taken by the idea that you had a sunroof in your car that they demanded a ride with you, think of the painful conversation you’d have to have as you explained to this poor, disappointed person that, no, the sunroof was just a ruse, the inside of this car is as dark and cramped as a cave, with no option to side open a panel of glass above and feel the night air, or lean back and gaze at the stars and moon, marveling at the infinite, and maybe cranking that sunroof all the way open and standing on the seat and waving your arms around like a bride-to-be in the back of a limo going down the Vegas strip; these are not possible to achieve, because despite the sleek, glistening black slab on the roof, that roof remains as solid and intact as a prison wall.
I mean, in an ideal world, a fake sunroof would operate more like this:
Alas, this level of Acme technology is lost, and remains unknown to modern industry, so fake sunroofs can not provide anything but an illusion.
The face sunroof is somewhat similar to the old trend of the “carriage roof,” a variant of the vinyl roof but one designed to more closely resemble a convertible top:
This is another example of someone choosing to have their car appear to possess a capability it actually lacks; in this case, an opening roof. It’s not that different than fake exhaust tips or fake hood scoops that feed nothing. In the case of fake hood scoops or exhaust tips, though, the illusion is a bit more specific and focused; those are meant to suggest performance levels that the car likely isn’t capable of, but at least it can seem like it is. With a carriage roof or a fake sunroof, though, what exactly is the message being sent? I could enjoy more light and air, should I choose?
I suppose the carriage roof gives a car a very different overall look, and that’s part of the appeal. But a fake sunroof? It’s a black rectangle on your roof. It’s hardly visually compelling, and I just don’t think it telegraphs all that much status, really. So, are people actually buying these? There are so many out there for sale, I have to assume they are, but I absolutely am befuddled by the appeal. This hardly seems worth the effort, because who, exactly is being impressed by a normal sunroof? Do people see these on a car and go, oooh, a sunroof! You know, like what you could get on a Hyundai Elantra!
Maybe you could cover peeling paint or rust or a dent with one? Or some unwanted graffiti? That’s all I got.
I don’t want to be the one to kink-shame or be the yucker of anyone’s yum, but fake sunroofs, man, that I really just can not abide. This has to be the most inane automotive accessory ever.
Maybe I’m wrong! Are there those of you out there willing to defend the fake sunroof? If so, please, please explain in the comments here, because I’m dying to hear this argument.
We NEED the fake sunroofs to go with the pinstriping, rear window louvers, fuel shark and other quality products from Pep Boys…
Wow. Just…wow…
Why just wow? Why can’t there also be a Whee, Whoa or Jeepers?
Because I can’t say what I want to say in public…starts with “what the…”
… fudge?
Mmmmmm….fudge…
This is fake news…ha ha. Yeah, I don’t understand spending hard earned $ on this
I dunno, I feel like a fake sunroof provides 90% of the utility of a real sunroof, for most people, (who open them like once a year?) while maintaining headroom AND structural integrity! Seems like a win.
Wait, they have fake sunroofs that appear to be open? Maybe that’s what’s on that Mercury Mariner at the abandoned Syrian embassy!
I think these might be fun to “install” a sunroof on a shitbox in a location where one should not exist. Perhaps on the trunk lid or hood. The confused looks would be worth the money spent.
It’s a cheap disguise. “Uh No, Sorry that’s not my Altima. Mine doesn’t have a sunroof”
Kind of like those cheap party masks that only cover the top 1/3 of face around eyes. Not since Victorian England has someone actually been fooled by someone wearing that mask.
The ad copy had it right. It’s all about deception. It ranks alongside fake badges that ‘upgrades’ your car.
The sunroof goes well with this:
NEW Fake Racing Tow Hook Ring Car Trailer SUV Front Rear Bumper Decoration Red | eBay
Back in the day my brother got one of the fake phones to put in the family beat to hell Nova. He was the only driver (other than my parents) so he used it the most. It looked good enough that multiple people broke in to try to steal it (the car was never locked, it was a beat to hell Nova). It was kinda funny
I understand. I can’t tell you how many times having a sunroof has gotten me laid.
Buy one that’s bigger than your own leaking one, and use it as a patch to cover the hole.
That’s actually brilliant.
I like sunroofs,I had one on the Levorg and I did use it quite a bit. I have thankfully never seen one of these fake vinyl ones though,they are about as cool as those plastic chrome trims you get on a roll.
Prefer vehicles without sunroof. They leak. Some Rattle from the sunroof or shade mechanism. Easily break. Weigh more. Can easily lose 3″ of headroom.
I’ve never understood this sentiment. Every car I’ve had since 1992 has had a sunroof, from a 1982 celica to my current car….. and I’ve never once had one leak or rattle or break. Also, I’m 6’3″… so … maybe I just pick cars with high roofs? (But that Celica would beg to differ.)
Where are all these leaky/rattling sunroofs I hear so much about?
Same here for the most part. While you do give up a bit of headroom it’s never been much of an issue and I have yet to have one break or leak in all my years of car (w/sunroof) ownership, and I’ve owned some pretty crappy cars over the years.
My ’87 Accord had a leaky sunroof. It would only do it about 2 times a year, which was just infrequently enough for me to forget about it. Then one day I would hit the brakes as I was backing down the driveway and a waterfall would come cascading down on me. The aggravation was enough to turn me off of sunroofs for good.
I had a grand am. The drain hoses that went from the sunroof track down the A pillars both disconnected (due to a poor fit and thermal cycling) leading to a wet headliner.
I had a Malibu and the shade cover squeaked from about year 2 till I sold it at year 14. 12 years of squeaking. I tried lube, wedging various things between it and the track. I nearly ripped it out in a rage once.
Also, at 6’4″ I fit in the malibu with the seat all the way on the floor. But, in a model with the sunroof the rubber trim around the opening rubbed my head. I had to recline the seat a little more then I liked. Annoying.
These are real problems, I’m jealous you’ve never experienced them. I’d still consider a sunroof but really look closely at them now.
It’s just such a weird flex that clearly dates from the era when things like wheel covers, body side moldings, passenger side mirror, and map pockets were considered fancy features worthy of bragging about in advertising
Like, I can’t imagine anyone being impressed by a car having a sunroof now, the Nissan Sentra can be ordered with one, it just doesn’t register as a luxury car signifier the way it maybe did in the 1980s. “Oh, wow, you have a sunroof, you must be a doctor” is a phrase I can’t imagine anyone uttering. Just can’t wrap my head around this being some sort of signifier of status or desirability, if anything, I prefer cars without sunroofs, just another potential failure point
I wish I could get rid of my sunroof… never use it, it reduces headroom, and I dread the day the drains get plugged up.
This exactly. I’ve owned several cars with sunroofs, and the only times I ever opened them was out of a feeling of obligation, like, I paid for it, so let’s see what it’s like, then immediately closed it because it was loud and windy and never opened it again
Same. It’s too damn hot in Texas to leave the shade open and let even more sun in, even if I do like more natural light. Plus it’s just one more thing that can break that I don’t feel like paying a stealership to fix.
I (mostly) only use it for the tilt…. because when parked it allows way more heat to escape. Crack one rear window and tilt the roof, and you get decent air circulation that makes your car slightly less of a sauna when you come back to it on a hot day.
Yeah, I got one intentionally once thinking I’d get use out of it and, no, not really. But since then I’ve gotten two more because it’s just part of the same equipment package for the other options I do want.
I think it looks less bad than no sunroof at all.
And I’d love to see tailor-made, rail to rail covers to cover the whole roof.
You like how roof glass looks? You have got to be the only one.
I like how my glass roof looks. But it’s dark tint on a black car, so really it looks like paint that doesn’t scratch if I put stuff on the roof. 😉
I like how roof glass looks.
Might I refer to the automated cart from “Judge Dredd” (the cheezy one with Stallone), should you have further categorical knowledge about me 😛
My most recent used vehicle has a sunroof but I haven’t opened it yet. I don’t like the sun. Why would I want more of it?
i wanna get the pop up one to put over the backseats of my WRX. It already has a sunroof, that gets plenty of use 🙂 I think that might be hilarious
Fake patina and rust are a thing, seen several cars painted like that at a car show. There are alot of how to’s online.
The shop teacher at my kids’ high school would let his students paint his car every year, in some goofy design they chose, and he would drive it that way for the year. I think it would have looked great with one of these sunroof stickers applied at a 45 degree angle.
CHRIST, you’re a genius! I must jot the idea down STAT!
Or longitudinally, along the long axis of the car.
One of these at a funny angle on the hood and one of those fake hood scoops sideways up top.
On the trunk, perfectly centered. Maybe even the fake pop up one, for airflow for the abductees!
Does anyone sell fake rust hole stickers for Jeeps to make them seem more rough and tumble?
Pretty sure corrosion is a standard feature of Jeeps, no fakery required.
https://www.theautopian.com/owners-are-furious-about-the-jeep-jl-wranglers-corrosion-issues/
I think I’ve figured out the use case. My car has an old school metal sliding sunroof. For those people who want to feel like they have a more modern glass sliding sunroof, they can simply apply this to the sliding metal part.
There is no way this isn’t getting jammed in the mechanism if you stick it to your sunroof and hit the open bottom.
If you want to fake it being glass, get it gloss vinyl wrapped.
Well, I really, really, don’t want it to be fake glass, so that won’t be a problem. The gap is surprisingly large though so it really might work.
I was going to say I wouldn’t put one on my daily driver but if I had a Plymouth Road Runner I wouldn’t be able to resist.
…but you already went there with the clip.
I should have put one of these on my 2013 320i that didn’t have a sunroof. Not because I cared, but because when I tried to trade it in the dealer made a big deal about nobody will want it because it didn’t have a sunroof. May have tricked them into a better offer.
Hah, vintage Porsche 911 owners pay a huge premium for not having a sunroof and if necessary pay a fair amount of money to have the sunroof removed. Removing a sunroof is not nearly as simple as it may sound.