I’d heard from Thomas that there might be a Fiat Topolino at the New York Auto Show, so Parker and I went straight there to find it. As always, Thomas was correct. We could barely contain our glee and jumped directly inside to touch all the charming hard plastics. And then we got stuck.
If you’re not familiar, the Topolino is a tiny electric car that’s a cute rebadge of the Citroën Ami. With a top speed of “Are You Sure You Want To Drive This 28 MPH?” it’s maybe a step above a glorified golf cart, albeit one with real doors and 17,000 pounds of charm.
Why is it here at the New York show, since they’re not going to sell it here? Let me answer a question with a question: What else does Fiat have to show? The lovely new electrified Fiat 500 and nothing else. So it makes a sort of sense.
Look at this cutie! Just looking at it magically places a cigarette in your right hand and transports you to Portofino on the Italian Riviera.
Look at that! It has identical doors, so they only have to manufacture one type of door (which means they open on opposite sides).
You can see where this is going. Parker and I quickly shut ourselves in for no reason and then realized we couldn’t get out.
You might assume that the little pull-cord in the door is the way you open the door. It is not. There’s also no door handle. So Parker and I are just sitting there, on the show floor, trying to not let anyone know we can’t get out. As the oxygen began to run out, we started pushing and pulling every button or latch we could find.
Eventually, Parker realized that there was a strap way forward of the wheel that popped the outside lock, and he got out. Because the doors are backwards, I couldn’t find the same strap. Parker then politely walked around and laughed at me for a minute before letting me know I could find one on the rear pillar.
I clearly need more sleep.
Top graphic images: Matt Hardigree; Daerduo/Amazon
Well here we are. When a car officially tells you that you are too old for this shit. As in “you are too old to realize you need to download the app to get out”.
The most Autopian article ever. Love it.
Matt and Parker haven’t teamed up since the Book of Mormon!
Fiat can sell these like the power sport places sell generators. That is quite an experience let me tell you. You would think it’s like buying a generator but it’s like buying an vehicle that is a generator. Much like the Topolino and Panda are the generator of feelings of I want to see it but I don’t want want be stuck behind it (or in it).
The Citroën Ami is only 485 kg or 1069 pounds. Is that a typo or did FIAT really screw it up so much that they added 8 tons to the weight?
Clearly stated as charm units “c” which we all know is uhm..Oh Holy Hell 2-3 times denser than protons! Such mass concentration is bound to warp space-time into a gravity well. How did those two bosons escape?
They had to meet US regulations.
Wait, what kind of Topolino is this that you can’t simply lino out the top? Oh… just realizing now they weren’t all convertibles… never mind
I’ve been seeing these types of cars all over the place here. I haven’t taken enough pictures. But some of them are hilariously small. They can ride on the bike paths if they are small enough. So cool.
So do I have this straight? A NASCAR driver and a world renouned auto expert cannot find their way out of car? Sounds like the first line in a joke. Or as commented earlier, an A & C routine. I’ll bet you didn’t pass your business card to the Fiat rep.
You have to forgive the NASCAR driver. He kept looking for the window net he could drop and then climb out.
Wanna drive one?
Just go to Martinique – There was a fleet of Amis at the pier for rent when we were on our cruise last year.
And you won’t get locked inside.
5-10 years ago i would’ve been surprised it weighs 17,000 lbs, but not today.
I found myself staring at a mini cooper today.
New type, but it looked very cooperish.
Have the new ones gotten that bloated?
I remember the real ones.
I’m happy to see charming and light Fiats around.
An interesting strategy for capturing buyers …
You’re not likely to make many Amis on the show floor if you keep messing with display cars.
Especially the Topolino of the line ones.
Probing about in a display vehicle, you’re liable to find something sharp.
In car serration
This is the Autopian version of piling into a clown car.
“it’s maybe a step above a glorified golf cart, albeit one with real doors and 17,000 pounds of charm.”
17,000 lbs?
Oh Lawd He Comin…
CHONK!! CHONK! CHONK! CHONK!
That’s the cost of them in England? I think?
Looking online they’re only 485 kg (1,069 lb) and cost 7,700 GBP… I think it’s just a typo.
It’s probably some lead or depleted-uranium alloy, so when a lifted pickup hits it, the pickup takes the damage…
Parker: “why isn’t anyone joining my slack huddle?? This is urgent!!”
@here
@here
“Day 2 of my Topolino Terror. Oxygen levels have remained steady, I managed to get some sleep under the bright lights of the Javits Center. I’ve seen little signs of life here in the Fiat area, only a lost intern with a polo and too tight of pants running around looking for their boss. I’m surviving with a small diet of Italian vegan leather and condensation off the glass. I pray I am found soon, as I fear I will fill this Italian Ami with my own waste before the end of the show”
COTD!!
*tries bite of vegan leather*
*asphyxiation sets in from soy allergy*
“he died doing what he loved”
Ironically, the Topolino is cheaper than a casket.
Is that what vegan leather is? I always assumed it was just a glow up for vinyl.
I think it depends. It was originally billed as a eco/animal friendly alternative on luxury cars (and probably hybrids) along with trim made of old water bottles and dashboards made of upcycled pallets. They were definately throwing soy based plastics around liberally.
Now, I’m sure most of it is just vinyl.
Only 4 more days until the teamsters come to move the car.
Did you know they jack up the cars and turn the wheels to align the logos with the planet?
Except the ones that would have opened the windows, apparently. 🙂
Those broke.
😀
They should sell these things in any Del Webb community or the villages, or like some towns in Indiana that allow golf carts on the streets. Makes the threat of rain much less of a threat.
I can’t wait to see the Slack thread on this. I imagine a few of the team were halfway through writing the “Sending our Love to Matt & Parker trapped in the Fiat” song and setting up for round-the-clock coverage of the recovery efforts when you found that damn strap.
They should sell this in New York. Think of all the possibilities!
Topolino cop cars. Topolino sanitation trucks for all the compost you aren’t separating. Topolino delivery vans for your babka from Breads Bakery. Topolino Ubers when you’re going home alone at the end of a fun night.
It’s not like traffic in NYC averages more than 12mph anyway.
It’s gotten much better. Not like the late 70s where the only thing that kept speed under 70mph was the random unmarked cubic yard holes in the street that would rip the suspension clean off a car, but reasonably paced flow of traffic.
This is from a few years ago but I saw a NYPD Smart a couple of weeks ago
https://youtu.be/B58gyThlBrs
When the Smart was discontinued they switched to the Spark (which I just saw a few minutes ago). Now that’s discontinued. No idea what they’ll do now.
Changli!
Is that just a Changli with slightly better fit and finish?
At its core yes, but it’s significantly more sophisticated (the battery is lithium ion, not just a bunch of 12v car batteries in series).
It’s the same as the Citroen Ami and the rest of the Stellantis Superminis. They’re extremely common in European cities these days — the model is a huge hit.
Wait, isn’t “Trapped in the Fiat” an R Kelly song?
A song so scary, you’ll piss yourself!
R Kelly’s Fiat is a ToPEElino.
Or the 124, aka “Peeata”
This could have been a nice little Abbot & Costello bit with the involvement of Fiat staffers.
“How do you do, Parker?”
“You park her like normal car, no problem!”
“Yes, problem, we need to free Matt.”
“Mats cost extra.”
“Should we call Hundal?”
“No call handle, pull strap.”
Oh you’re just Kia-ing it
I myself have been incorporated into many Hugh’s-on-first routines over the years.
Where’s the video? 20 minutes trapped in a tiny Fiat, padded out with ads that could be a halfhour episode of..something.
I’d rather watch that than Big Bang Theory or How I Met Your Mother.
Isn’t The Big Bang Theory How I Met Your Mother?
ba dum bum
“Bloggers Trapped in Cars Without Coffee”. I sense a Netflix deal…
Once they realize the Gravity of the situation, they will get advice from the ghost of George Clooney.