Getting a free car is almost always a blessing. It’s hard to go wrong with free, even if the car is a total pile. However, there might be an exception, and it’s getting a free car from an Autopian writer. Is this a blessing or a curse?
Our good friend Brandon Forbes wanted to buy a sweet baby JDM car, but sadly lost the auction. Matt responded by volunteering to give Brandon the Yugo belonging to Jason and touting it as a benefit of Autopian Membership. Maybe we just found a “genius” way to get rid of the piles of cars in Autopian writers’ fleets! Flyingstitch makes a hilarious point:
This is what Brandon gets for being behind on his membership dues.
Brandon Forbes:
I was wondering what I’d done to deserve this
Brockstar:
Today marked the day that The Autopian membership levels were updated.
Cloth members will be randomly awarded non-running vehicles with no more than 3 serviceable tires. Awards will happen monthly. You must collect your vehicle in person. You have two weeks to arrange and start the retrieval process. You have been warned.
Vinyl members will be mandated to help with the retrieval and delivery of a Cloth member’s “vehicle” if they are located within 70 miles of the “vehicle” being awarded.
Velour members will have to provide food, lodging, and wrenching support to said cloth and vinyl members while on their journey home.
RCL members will receive a T-shirt that reads. “I joined The Autopian and thankfully and I got was this T-shirt.
Foreign legion members may be required to visit junkyards to procure and ship parts for award vehicles with limited U.S. domestic parts availability.
As Lewin wrote today, Subaru is teasing its new Trailseeker. Judging from the teaser, the name, and the dusty images, Subaru is at least trying to suggest that this new EV will be for some sort of off-pavement action. But huh, that name is something else. Jay Vette:
It’s like Subaru liked the name of the Nissan Pathfinder so much they just looked up alternatives to that name in the thesaurus.
Arch Duke Maxyenko:
Well Chevy already has the Trail Blazer
Jay Vette:
This one seeks out the trails that have already been blazed.
Lewin also wrote about a new take on the crotch cooler. TheDrunkenWrench, help me out here:
The perfect product for Men At Work.
I cool from a vent down under,
Where air does flow and men wonder,
Can’t you find, can’t you find it under?
You better use, a hose and vent coverrrrr
Have a great evening, everyone!
Velour members will have to provide food, lodging, and wrenching support to said cloth and vinyl members while on their journey home.
If a fellow Autopian needed food, lodging, and wrenching support I’d be down to give it. But I live on a coast which generally means I’m a terminus, not a waypoint.
I got precisely one COTD in several years on the Old Site, and now I have a matching one from the Autopian for my trophy case. I feel complete now. Thank you.
Well earned!
Mercedes was the one who finally plucked me from the grays after an eternity on the Old Site, so I’m grateful.
Commentators on this site are often so clever/funny and so non-confrontational. And the authors/contributors are also incredibly awesome. Hence, my membership.
I dropped out of FB back in 2016 during the months leading up to that election. People I worked with side-by-side and respected for their intelligence and work ethic were revealed to have a diametrically different belief system than me. I was pretty late to FB. Maybe 2014? But as I “friended up,” the stuff that started showing up in my feed was progressively (perhaps anti-progressively) getting more disgusting and sometimes disturbing. And then I started spending too much time on FB trying to change their minds. And I just kinda said F it. I’m done. I don’t want to know what anyone thinks. I just want to get our projects done and outside of our jobs, we can all figure out what works for us.
I’m retired now. And so these stock market gyrations and tariff bluffs or whatever the hell is going on, do worry me. I believe my investments will outlive my needs and only affect my only child’s inheritance. But I genuinely worry for those who are a lot closer to things working out okay and those whose might not.
I feel like CotD helps a lot. What better way to get people to leave helpful/funny/constructive comments than by rewarding just that?
It’s the carrot I’m forever chasing while Autopian staff proverbially beat me with the stick.
Me when I do eventually finally get a CotD:
Signature look of superiority
I’m sorry to tell you that CotD status is inversely related to social status. I speak from experience.
I wish I had your mindset. I pretty much use it exclusively as a vessel for FB marketplace and car-specific groups (the forums aren’t what they used to be). I feel my sanity and wallet would be better off if I kicked the platform.
I think a white elephant gift exchange for Autopians with cars of dubious value as the exchange item would be a fun thing.
How did my lyrical lemonade (sour as it may be) make the cut, but my Yugo pun didn’t?
Regardless, thank you for the mention!
I feel like saying the writer’s couldn’t possibly maintain cloth levels of old cars to shell out, but that sounds like a challenge they’d easily accept. Just t-shirt gunning Smarts and rusty Jeeps and chainsawed-chinese-golf-carts out like it’s a monster truck pre-show.
Again “Why is everyone running away? We’re giving away free shitboxes here!”
Does the golf cart include the chainsaw and lead dust?
Of course! But the chain snapped.
Trail seeker sounds like the name of a bald middle aged divorced man searching for love on Farmersonly.
Oh man I did not expect this thing to be featured on the site twice today! I’m still freaking excited for this thing. Just gotta figure out how to get it going again. Thinking about trying to host an Autopian wrench-a-thon!
*scrambles to cancel membership*
I’ll bring the rocks, someone else should bring some hose clamps.
I’ve got the garden hose