Home » What A Car Enthusiast Probably Shouldn’t Say On A First Date: COTD

What A Car Enthusiast Probably Shouldn’t Say On A First Date: COTD

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A first date is perhaps one of the scariest experiences you can have in life. Will they like you? Are you going to say something goofy? Will they run away at the sight of your four — now six — Smart Fortwos? I know I’d rather do 100 job interviews than go on a first date again.

Today, the Bishop wrote about how the infamous Dale was maybe sort of a scam, but it had some real potential. The Bishop’s reimagining of the Dale had its fuel tank under the center console like a Pontiac Fiero. But as Captain Muppet points out, you might not want to talk about the location of your fuel tank while on a date:

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I picked up a date once in my mk2 MR2 and she asked what the huge wall between the seats was. She was not happy to be sitting right next to the fuel tank, despite it being even more protected from crash damage than we were.

I told her pretty much every other car puts the gallons of explody fuel under the back seat your kids sit on. She wasn’t happy about that either.

My first date small-talk sucks.

NewBalanceExtraWide brings some laughs in a response:

I used to like picking up people in the Beetle and knocking on the fuel tank just in front of our knees. “Don’t worry, there’s a spare tire to cushion any impact.”

Lewin wrote about how a dealer cut $29,000 off of the price of a BMW i7. That’s all fine and dandy, but you think the discount is in the wrong place. From Mechjaz:

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How about instead of knocking 15% off the price they knock the front 15% off the car?

Squirrelmaster wasn’t any nicer:

I’ll be honest, the burnt orange and black color combo is the least ugly one in this article. Granted, that’s faint praise for such an ugly car, but it at least helps hide some of the ugliness. BMW definitely lost the plot on styling in recent years…

Nor was Nsane In The MembraNe:

Yeah but it’ll be worth $50,000 in a year and you’ll have to be seen in *gestures vaguely* that

Pat Rich delivers some delicious sarcasm:

Its weird. EV, sedan, heinously ugly, notorious depreciation…you’d think they would be more popular.

Yeah, I’m with you. I’m not entirely sure what BMW has been doing, lately. But hey, these designs are definitely making Bangle Butts look beautiful!

Have a great evening, everyone!

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Hatebobbarker
Hatebobbarker
21 days ago

I actually like the styling on most new BMWs. Hate the new M2, and the IX had to grow on me, but I love all the rest, even the XM.

Multiple times I’ve started a roommate’s date’s car that wouldn’t start. I’ve never had to start a car for a woman I was dating, but I married a woman that can fix her own car.

Rollin Hand
Rollin Hand
22 days ago

The Bangle-era BMWs have aged better than they had any right to.

At least from a styling standpoint. Mechanically….(shakes head and winces)

As for first date lines, I don’t remember any real clunkers. Blocking things out is really useful.

Col Lingus
Col Lingus
23 days ago

I had a socially crude roommate 48 years back. Late 1970s.
He just did not grasp the correct way to speak to the single babes back then.
His “go to” line?

May I lube your ball joints please?
or:
May I adjust your headlights please?
or
May I check your rear end grease?

In the two years we shared a place he only got a positive response once. A real wanker.
Such a loser…

Last edited 23 days ago by Col Lingus
StupidAmericanPig
StupidAmericanPig
22 days ago
Reply to  Col Lingus

Checks user name… that tracks. 🙂

Col Lingus
Col Lingus
22 days ago

Actually stole that from Chevy Chase on SNL Weekend Update in 1975.

But the women loved it when I introduced myself…YMMV

Jsloden
Jsloden
23 days ago

On our first date I noticed her tail lights weren’t working so I let her know. She said “what about the headlights?” I replied “those look great”. We’ve been married for 18 years.

Col Lingus
Col Lingus
22 days ago
Reply to  Jsloden

My story is a bit like yours. I was going to ride to another town with this babe who was kind enough to drive me in her car. A 1980 Impala.
I was on crutches with a cast from hip to below the knee, and couldn’t do a clutch.

As soon as we got in she apologized for the poor sound from her rear speakers. Said they were brand new and her brother had installed them. So I crawled into the trunk and discovered that her dumb ass brother had not knocked out the area in the rear shelf to allow the sound to escape the trunk. WTF? Later on I learned that she had been driving with no sound for almost a year.

When the actual sound appeared, she freaked out.
You would have thought I was Superman or something.

We were married 5 months later.
And made it almost 39 years.
I wish you all the best and hope you all have as happy a life as we did.

Last edited 22 days ago by Col Lingus
Jsloden
Jsloden
22 days ago
Reply to  Col Lingus

Awesome story. Thanks for sharing. She asked if I could follow her home because of the tail light situation. Hers was a 95 grand am. It was only about 8 years old at the time. It later became known as the gran dammit due to all of the trouble it gave us. We finally got rid of it a few years later when it blew a head gasket.

MGA
MGA
23 days ago

It’s sad that BMW’s current design (and everything) language makes me miss the Bangle era.

Diana Slyter
Diana Slyter
23 days ago

“You got some carb cleaner I can borrow?”

Ramaswamy Narayanaswamy
Ramaswamy Narayanaswamy
23 days ago

Would rather get married first…then talk about things…

R53 Lifer
R53 Lifer
22 days ago

Maybe consider leasing instead?

Captain Muppet
Captain Muppet
23 days ago

I’ve just spent a couple of minutes staring at that top picture of the MR2. I miss that car so much.

Mine was a blue tin-top “GTi 16” which always seemed like a weird badge to put on a mid-engined sports car.

Musicman27
Musicman27
23 days ago
Reply to  Captain Muppet

I heard that toyota’s bringing it back. Even if its not anywhere near the same, I’m still looking forward to it.

Captain Muppet
Captain Muppet
23 days ago

I knew all those terrible dates would pay off eventually!

I picked up my now-fiancée for our second date in my stripped-out Nissan Silvia Turbo. One race seat and full harness for the driver, one standard seat and belt for the passenger, and a welded diff that made the tight turn out of the car park feel like it had square wheels.

She insisted we immediately drove the quarter mile to her house to swap to her car.

SarlaccRoadster
SarlaccRoadster
23 days ago
Reply to  Captain Muppet

So what you’re saying is she was excited to see what your car could do in a quarter-mile 🙂

Mechjaz
Mechjaz
23 days ago

Haha I had the exact same thought

Data
Data
23 days ago

That’s just what we call pillow talk, baby.

Mechjaz
Mechjaz
23 days ago

I will not be shamed for my appreciation of Bangle butts. Buc-eesMWs are horrible, misbegotten creatures, and any comparison of the two is an implicit denigration of the taut, duck-tail-butts on the third-ish best generation of BMW designs.

AlterId
AlterId
23 days ago
Reply to  Mechjaz

Bounce that ass and Buc-ees
Shake that ass and Buc-ees

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
23 days ago

Bangle butts? This BMW makes that Rollsified LTD look good!

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