What is the Weinermobile category called, anyway? Promo cars? Brand cars? Theme cars? Whatever you call them, they’re a ton of fun and always a treat to see. Which makes us wonder why we don’t see more of these things – like, you can put a set of wheels and a place for a driver under just about anything (see: parade floats), and what brand wouldn’t like to draw crowds of happy consumers eager to snap photos for their InstaFaces and Snapbooks and share the brand’s good cheer far and wide?
We are happy for the Weinermobile and other brandmobiles that we do have, of course. Shout out to Ronald McDonald and his literal clownshoe car (which is a Houston thing, apparently?), and props to that elegantly monocled legume Mr. Peanut and his, uh, deeply veined conveyance.
But we want more!
Below, I’ve roughed together a Sharpiemobile, which may be too long and skinny of a subject for a car, but go for it, I say. Maybe it would be better to model one of the super-fat Magnum Sharpies, but the brand is built on the shape below.
Or, the Sharpie people could go beyond just putting wheels on a marker, like Bic did in 1953 with the stunner below. Would daily. The build was commissioned for the Tour de France, and you can see a bunch more promotional Tour vehicles here.
Anyway, we want to know which brands really need to have Weinermobile-like rigs of their own, whether it’s because their product would look good on wheels, or they make stuff related to travel or speed or car-ness, or … something else?
See you in the comments!
Top graphic image: Oscar Mayer
Porsche.
With a Tiger tank.
LEGO is the obvious one, most likely using a classic LEGO Racers set like 8641 Flame Glider. Or just a giant red brick that glides along on a hidden chassis underneath.
Lay-Z-Boy with a giant mobile living room, replete with couch that hosts the controls, armchairs for the rear passengers, and a coffee table that holds the gauges and headlights.
Alternatively, Coca-Cola brings back the Big Red Truck, using a giant classic glass bottle as the trailer. Coca-Cola only ever brings out the Big Red Trucks in Europe for Christmas nowadays, and it’s been that way for three, almost four decades now.
Volvo has made a few life size Lego cars. Or just take a red 240 or 760 and call it a day
As a college student I see the Red Bull Mini Coopers with the giant can on the back relatively frequently, always get a kick out of them.
Back in my day, few sights were as welcomed as the Red Bull Suzuki X-90 rolling through your campus, handing out free samples.
Apple could leverage the Richard Scary Lowly Worm -mobile. Or Dunkin’ could bring back their big-coffee-cup-on-a-little-car line.
In the 1970s, Boston’s WGBH station had a giant “2” shaped car (they were Channel 2).
And of course there’s Seattle’s Lincoln Towing “Toe Truck”.
I wanna see a Big O Tires do a monowheel.
Weren’t there rumors of a John Deere pickup? Make it available only in green with yellow wheels (at least for the launch edition). Would that count?
Can’t find photos but one guy around here used to ride a great-looking Honda scooter that was done up in John Deere green and yellow, with an extended exhaust pipe with a flapper on the end.
Boeing. Maybe a Jeep. Because the doors come off.
Sorry, I’ll see myself out.
I don’t see Boeing doing this, but maybe Airbus would do it for them?
Airbus, just a literal VW Bus with wings.
Red Lobster
Like so?
But based on a Fiat 500 to facilitate conversion into an Olive Garden car.
I think BMW could create a pretty solid Buc-ee’s mobile.
I don’t think enough people get this joke, but I know I chortled.
Mits Ze Teeth?
Logitech or Microsoft could make mouse-mobile out of a Hyundai Ionic 6 or Lucid Air pretty easily.
The MS once would reboot and brick itself on each update.
Maybe an air freight company (FedEx?) could do some white, boxish looking trucks?
Oh, wait, I do see a lot of those already running around. They must have one heck of a marketing budget.
Texas-based grocery chain HEB has what must be the world’s fastest shopping cart.
God that has to be the most Texas thing ever!!!! I wanna see it rip a fat burnout.
Pop Tart Go Cart
Louisville Slugger Bat-mobile
A Louisville Bat-mobile would be fun to chase this Baseball themed car(t) around in.
Red Bull Mini Cooper truck. If you were in college in the late 2000’s, early 2010’s, you almost certainly have seen one.
Madden cruiser (not bus – d’oh) – since Madden himself did not fly, this was a rolling tribute to his broadcasting team.
You mean Red Bull Suzuki X90 for those of us over 40.
Kraft or Tillamook need a cheese wedge car. Make it out of an old Triumph TR7 or something.
Damn, you beat me to it. Although I was thinking Lotus Esprit.
TR 7 – the shape of things to come!
What’s the difference between the Tillamook cheese-wedge car and the Cabot cheese-wedge car?
The Oregonians had to cut up a perfectly good Subaru, the Vermonters just started with a rusty one.
If it’s a cheese wedge you want, I highly recommend the Bond Bug.
Why the Jellybelly corporation didn’t jump all over this in the 90s, I’ll never understand.
Hell, They would just need to buy the Youabian Puma.
Subway (or any other sandwich shop)
Gas-X (Needs to be an EV)
KFC (T bucket roadster with a body shaped like the chicken bucket)
Taco Bell
Bush’s Baked Beans
Not sure some of those would pass emissions….
Neither do I, after Taco Bell… I produce emissions, sure — don’t get me wrong — but the only thing they’ll ever pass is everyone tryina get out the way! ;3
Twinkies! That vehicle would last forever.
Must be made out of a low option mid-90s Corolla.
Aren’t Teslas mascot cars? They are just a software company, right?
Yep. Still in beta.
Kohler toilet-mobile
Turbo Toilet is right there for them!
Or maybe Duravit in Germany, since they already have the worlds largest stationary toilet? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyepcOa0-j8
Hot tub cars have been done.
Jatco could have a “CVT-mobile”, where everything is continuously variable! How fun would that be?
Elastic pants!
Andis/Oster/Remington clipper car shootout! Watch that grille, it’ll suck you in like a loaf of warm bread!
Wait, didn’t Buick make this for them already with its 90s Skylark?
I’m thinking more inverted, like a splitter- but by your logic, ’50s Buicks already have it covered. And the 90s version didn’t convey durability or REI. I couldn’t even find an actual radiator cap on the one that I crossed paths with
Maybe use an early 60s Dodge Dart?
Solid choice for the grille. Perhaps it could be assembled from NOS parts from any number of model years. Jaguar XKE fuselage radius would work.
1966 Toyota Corona.
Wagon! If they made one.
Do you carry more passengers or more cargo? They did a 4-door hatchback and a 2-door wagon. Neither were sold new in the US but apparently both made it to Australia.
1966-toyota-corona.jpg (1500×1125)
Corona_van_PT469537_2-762×456.jpeg (762×456)
I like the 2dr look, but also the practicality of 4 doors for people/retrievable groceries/contained beer transport
I mean, low-hanging fruit here, but you don’t have to do a whole lot to the Wienermobile to have it ready for a sex toy company.
You could make a Swiss Army knife car with huge knives and screwdrivers powered with hydraulics. Build it from a motor coach so you have plenty of space inside for the machinery.
A Pontiac Iron Duke or a few Harley motors? OK. But you’d need serious boost to power the oscillator
Durex?
The other Weinermobile.
tampax?
Wouldn’t other vehicles keep running over the string?