Let’s say you’re a car designer and you’re penning a new model from scratch, so you can put the switches and levers essentially anywhere you want. You’re probably going to place them with established conventions in mind, perhaps ergonomic data, certainly some sort of common sense, right? You’d think.
So why do some manufacturers choose the most absurd locations for controls?
There are plenty of examples out there. Here are just a few instances of some really idiotic control placements:
Saab 9-3: Rear seat heater switch in the front of the car
No, I am not gonna mention the ignition key, which is not as bad a placement as you might think. It’s the fact that the rear seat heat button is impossible to access from the back. And most people didn’t know it had rear seat heaters. I owned one of these, and if you had an infantile mentality and wanted to mess with rear-seat passengers, you would not be the first.
Alfa 75 Milano: Power window switches on the ceiling (front only)
Well, the front power window switches are up there. Not only is the position odd, but the buttons are both unlabeled and do an odd left/right press to make the windows go up and down.
The rear window switches are located on the panel behind the lid on the center console where both front and rear occupants have to contort to get to them. Rolling down all four windows requires some aerobic exercise. Of course, it’s an old Alfa so just be happy that they put the switches inside of the car; if you value ergonomics over a Busso V6 at full song this ain’t the car for you anyway.
Porsche 944/968: Odometer reset by pushing in an air vent
And no, it isn’t labeled at all.
Audi Coupe: Trunk only opens from inside the car
See the clean trunk lid? Yup, no key. And this was a decade or so before they got wireless key fob releases, so no dice if you’re trying to open it when you’re standing at the bumper, hands full of shit. Unsurprisingly, the Alfa Milanos (and a number of other cars) are the same way.
Sterling 825: Hood release in passenger’s side footwell
This is the Acura Legend that the Brits covered in their own body and interior (and electrics – ahhh!). Both the Honda and the Rover were home market RHD cars, and while the Japanese car chose to move the hood release to the driver’s side on US cars, the English manufacturer kept it right where it was in old Blighty – you can see it below the ill-fitting glove box. Bad choice, especially since in this British version you’ll be opening that hood way more than in the Legend. I will say that wood still looks pretty damn nice, though.
What cars have you owned where you wondered if, as Jeremy Clarkson once said about the Porsche 911, the designers of the interior stuffed all the switches up their nose, sat in the driver’s seat, and sneezed to place them? We want to know!
Any European car that made its way to India (except for the Fiat Palio), insisted on carrying over the indicator and radio from the Euro-spec versions. The indicator stalk stayed on the left of the steering wheel in what was effectively a right-hand drive car. Trying to downshift while telling the traffic around you that you’re changing lanes? You need your left hand to do the Macarena. Your favourite song on the radio and you want to jack up the volume? You’re leaning across the car, getting into your co-passenger’s personal space in a very alarming manner. Pffft.
Hood release on a Sterling? IT”S A BONNET!
The location of the choke and reserve fuel knobs on the early (mine was ’56) VW Bus… between driver and passenger, under the front of the bench seat. Red light means low fuel (no gauge); need to find that knob AND not wreck the rig that requires constant attention to maintain a lane!
Rear area heater on the VW Vanagon (mine were ’83 and ’85) was mounted ON the rear heater core… to turn it on or off (not much else) required getting on the floor and reaching under the rear seat. It leaked so badly when on (yes, all of them) no one used it, anyway.
Hazard lights on the steering wheel center. GMT400 til K2XX trucks/SUVs…sometimes VERY inconvenient….
On my 2014 Accord, you can also only open the trunk from inside
Lamborghini put the radio in the first series of the Espada on the passengers side where you would normally have a glove box. Impossible for a normal human to operate while driving.
The hood release for my R53 MINI was in the passenger footwell, assume just didn’t bother to move it for US market. Fuel door on my ’05 GTO is weirdly behind the steering wheel. Interior trunk release in the GTO is also in the glove box and not terribly well marked.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, on the Ford Aspire you could only open the hatch from the back, which was super annoying if you were dropping someone off and they needed something out of there. You had to shut the car off and walk around back to open it with the key.