Tools. They can be wonderful things, helping you get out of mechanical snags in time for work the next morning. However, they can also be nightmarish, cantankerous appliances that don’t always live up to expectations. Today, I’m asking you what your least-favorite tool is.
Last weekend, I decided it was time for new fluids in the gearbox and differential of my 325i. Now, the BMW 188L differential doesn’t have a drain plug, but instead simply a fill plug through which you suck the old fluid out. Annoyingly, it’s not at a brilliant angle to get a traditional bottle in there and tip in new stuff, but it’s still reasonably accessible enough to use my tool cabinet nemesis — the manual fluid transfer pump.
You know the one I’m talking about, the sort with ports in both ends that you stick tubes in and manually pump like you’re filling a bicycle tire with petroleum products. The $8 Harbor Freight special by any other name, for when you’re short on time, planning, and money to get something decent. Since the full sections of tube are quite unwieldy, I sliced off reasonably-short sections of tube and carried on my merry way.
[Editor’s Note: I completely agree with Thomas. These pumps suck! They work fine for low-viscosity fluids like automatic transmission fluid, but you try pumping something thick quickly, and these hoses are popping right off! -DT].
As luck would have it, the tiny piece of tubing I cut for the discharge end of the fluid transfer pump shot out of the pump, through the fill plug hole, and into my diff. Arsebiscuits. A 20-minute job just got more complicated and wasted some fresh fluid. The remedy was simple — use a pole jack to support the pumpkin, pull the cover without removing the diff mount, and then lower the diff while swiveling the cover just enough to fish the piece of vinyl tubing out using needle nose pliers before re-sealing the diff. Not the hardest job in the world, but certainly an aggravating snag.
Believe it or not, this isn’t the most spectacular failure I’ve ever had with a fluid transfer pump. Back in high school, I was pumping diff fluid into my Crown Victoria when the pump itself failed, completely ExxonValdez-ing the concrete slab of my parents’ garage. Sorry, mum.
At this point, I’ve learned my lesson. I’ll just get a big syringe for the next time I need to do gear oil. Sure, filling a small diff with a 200 ml syringe will take five or so injections, but it beats the aggravation of forcing thick fluid through a manual transfer pump, even if 75w90 isn’t even that thick.
So, what tool do you absolutely hate to use? What never fails to fail? Do you also hate manual transfer pumps, or do you despise something even more? To the comments we go!
(Photo credits: Harbor Freight, BMW)
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Creeper.
Yup, because I wish it was a lift.
I regret buying my Mitivac 7201 with the 2.3 gallon capacity. The long hoses are a pain to use due to their natural curvature, it’s clunky, and it’s honestly not as effective as my cheapo eBay electric suction pump. It’s also not very good for brake bleeding. Maybe I’ll sell it and get a smaller one.
Screw extractors because by the time that tool comes out your whole day/week/month has already gone to shit.
Tried these many times, only worked once.
Johnson Tri-roll thread gages are absolutely insane to setup
My brother-in-law. He’s the biggest tool I’m aware of and knows nothing about cars or car repairs. So useless.
Any kind of damn screw/bolt extractor. They almost never work right and you spend more time cursing things than actually fixing stuff.
Any tool I have to rent/borrow/buy just for one silly, proprietary thing.
Counter point: I’m lucky enough to have a friend that runs a diesel repair garage next to his house, which is 5min down the road from me. He has easily 6 figures worth of tools. Any time I need one of those only good for one thing tools I can borrow it almost immediately. It’s sort of spoiled me into loving how easy some jobs become and costs me no dollars.
A tap.
Trying to cut threads in a hole is a skill I have not yet mastered for some reason. Even with the proper cutting fluid, checking measurements, etc. I still dread that *TINK* sound indicating my day just got worse. (The sound of a tap breaking resembles the sound of a bolt being sheared off, but louder.)
Oddly enough I don’t have the same issue with dies – possibly because I don’t need them very often.
Get some good tapping lube and use a gentler touch 🙂 also don’t forget to back out a bit after every turn or so.
If you’re already doing that, make sure you’re only torquing it in the direction of the cut.
Tap-Magic
Spinal(e) Tap?
“These go to 11”
I know how to use a tap.
I said I don’t like using a tap, which answered the question at hand. 🙂
I haven’t broken a tap since I was a kid but the memory is still there.
TINK
Tap dat ass
I’ll echo Josh. Back them out frequently.
When it HAS to be straight, I drill through a 1″ piece of wood with my drill press, run the tap through the wood first. Then use that to guide the tap into the work piece. So that initial warbled out part is throwaway wood and the threads in the metal come out perfect.
As the resident butterfinger bastard in the garage, magnetic extension grabbies for dropped bits.
I’ve really caused myself some dumb headaches late into a wrenching session with shaky hands and tired fingers, bolts, nuts, plink plink and then no sound when you are hoping to hear it hit the concrete… And you know you now have a possibly long sidebar job.
You know the shit done hit the fan when you have to pull out the crow’s foot sockets. Lord I hate using those.
I designed a chunk of engine once that could only be done/undone with a crows foot. Only once, and that was maybe 18 years ago, but I still feel bad about it.
I’m so sorry.
Pretty much anything having to do with bleeding brakes. No matter what you’re gonna end up with brake fluid eating through your gloves, on your skin and on the floor.
Sounds like you need to switch to nitrile gloves. Can’t recall it eating any of those.
I used to be terrified to bleed brakes and end up with engine lights. But now i do them myself by just letting them air bleed for a while, then i take a piece of wood and push the electric seat forward to hold the brake down so that i can pump fluid out of the bleeder and close the bleeder with the pedal pressed. Its worked well for me.
I got a Gunson EeziBleed for my MGB…easiest system ever to bleed brakes. You use a spare tire at 10-20psi and it pressurizes a bottle of fluid that is connected to your master cylinder through a cap that comes with the kit. It’s a 1 person operation and was so easy to do.
I almost bought one of those.Instead i got the vacuum type,the dumest peice of crap ever made.
I got one of those first. It come in handy for some other functions, like removing the fluid from my old master cylinder. It is not easy to bleed brakes with though.
This sounds like it is a job for a MightyVac (the original hand vacuum pump), which does a surprisingly good job sucking things. A cheap vacuum based oil extraction rig may also work well. The transfer pump shown is a POS and shouldn’t be used.
Modern gas cans are designed to fill lawnmowers and not your car – the best solution here may be to use a long-necked funnel to get the gas into your automotive fuel filler. There is an incredible amount of regulation surrounding gas cans (primarily from the EPA, CARB, and CPSC) that limits what the gas can companies can do, and which require months of testing for any new product, which limits innovation in this space. The “No Spill” brand does appear to be a slightly better solution, although mine doesn’t automatically stop as shown in the videos, but is really easy to control.
From the story it sounds like he was using the pump to fill, not empty. I prefer the pump that goes right on the oil bottle for that, which is both cheaper and more effective.
I have a Liquivac for extraction. (I also own mityvacs and an oil change extractor.) The Liquivac is unfazed by gear oil and other thick stuff.
I look for old school gas cans at every estate or garage sale I go to. I have several from 1-5 gallons. I wouldn’t mind the new ones if they worked.
A company called Eagle sells old-school 5-gallon metal gas cans:
https://eagle.justrite.com/safety-cans
Menards and Tractor Supply have them in stock. However, they’re $60-$70 each, which is probably more than you’re paying at estate sales. 🙂
My XZN, a/k/a “Triple Square,” bits. Why VAG couldn’t have used Torx or Allen fasteners in those applications is beyond me.
Agree that these suck. But the reason is because it’s a stretch bolt, and in order to apply the correct torque, it needs 12 faces. 6 would strip, as I discovered when I tried to use a Torx on my VW’s wheel hub bolts. (Duh, 6 goes into 12 so this works, right?)
Spent three days drilling out those MFers.
Except that VW uses these on lots of non-stretch bolts, too, like the bolts that hold the throttle body on to the intake manifold on the Mk4 Golf/Jetta/Beetle, and the bolts that hold the door latch on on those cars.
With you: I still have my set of 3, though last VW has been gone well over a decade.
My counterpart to those is the shallow 10-point socket used on the flex plate bolts in an Eclipse. WTH, Mitsubishi?
From bicycle mechanic land: the Park Tool HCW-4. You are guaranteed to be smashing knuckles and getting nothing done.The flats are too big and have nothing to grip and the wrench is thin because the bolt surface is thing, and there’s no real way to keep it in place and apply force.
Just a waste of time and steel.
I used to cycle more regularly and have picked up a bicycle to pick it up again, and it is my first time with disc brakes on a bike. I hate the things. I’m probably too dumb to adjust them correctly but they are at the moment in the unfortunate state of both rubbing constantly and not clamping enough to stop effectively. People seem to swear by them but I’m at the point of wanting to throw them out and going straight back to rim brakes.
For the pin side, nothing of note, except use a different tool.
Which is strange, Park is usually a good brand of tool. Or was….
Anyway for the fixed cup side, get a threaded rod or bolt long enough to go thru the bottom bracket and two washers big enough that you can clamp the tool to the cup and bottom bracket shell simultaneously. Now you can push on the tool as you like. Or even mallet or hammer on it. Just to loosen, you need to remove this ( or at least loosen ) before you try to run the fixed cup out.
You don’t even need that, just use the spindle from the BB.
You use the spindle and a piece of tub or socket with a washer to hold the tool on to the BB shell when applying the force required to break it loose…
Every oil filter wrench ever…they stink.
I have had no issues with mine… It self-tightens onto the filter and works perfectly for what I need it to do. One of the best purchases I ever made for home oil changes.
Oil filter pliers have generally worked fairly well for me. They also do nicely at removing a lot of stuck jar lids.
Agreed. I’ve used every style of wrench I can find: Metal band, cloth band, chain, pliers, end cap. Sometimes I’ve used all five on a filter, only to resort to a Phillips screwdriver through the can. Lately, I’ve had oil-changing places do the deed, but always drive away with a vague anxiety they screwed it up.
Just do what we did in the old days, drive a screwdriver into it and drain it down into the drain pan and then use the screw driver to untorque it.
My oil filter wrench is often called a flathead screwdriver/hammer combo.
Mine is organic, with a rag around it. Universal fit!
Maybe you are overtightening the filter in the first place? I do the hand tight plus a quarter turn and have never had a leak and never had issues removing the old filter.
I do finger tight. I only grab the filter with my fingertips. I figure if I can palm it on the way out, my full grip strength overwhelms what my fingertips can deliver.
Chainsaws. The correct answer is chainsaws. Fight me.
Before I do: are you currently holding a chainsaw?
Having experienced the joys a few times now, a valve spring compressor.
I’m actually less scared of strut and coil spring compressors. At least those are forged or cast big chunks of metal with pins holding stuff in position and big valleys/channels for the spring wire to seat in.
All valve spring compressors I’ve witnessed are stamped sheet metal jobbies with what felt like the smallest possible e-clip (not even a full circlip/retaining ring) holding the swiveling joints together. And it’s right next to my face.
How about love/hate? If so, the telescoping magnetic pickup – I love that it exists, but hate it b/c using it means 1) something important is now where it shouldn’t be and 2) since it’s magnetic, it requires expanding amounts of skill to get it into tight deep spots with steel all around to do things like pick up that damn 10mm socket.
(this happened to me just last week).
Real life game of operation > mechanics edition!
Any sort of broken bolt extraction tools- Yes, they help and can get you out of jams but the broken bolts I deal with are extremely rusty, crusty, etc and it always sucks.
Although i have recently gotten an induction heater with decent attachments and that helps significantly.
I despise having to use a multimeter. Electricity is wizardry and witchcraft, and I want nothing to do with it.
Electrical engineer here. I also love to summon demons and have an obsession with the occult.
Say, your name isn’t Lucas, by chance, is it?
angry pixies and magic smoke
I love vehicles that run on angry pixies, with parts that have magic smoke locked inside. 🙂
Electricity is one step removed from magic.
Nikola Tesla supposedly had an electric conversion of a Pierce Arrow that ran off of the Earth’s Ether field, making 80 horsepower. He was accused of witchcraft because of this car. There is debate on what it actually ran on since no one has been able to replicate his results, but some sort of metal-air battery is a common hypothesis considered.
I ran across that site or another very like it some 20+ years ago as I was getting into making my own fuel from used vegetable oil. Then there was a revival of that stuff (run your car on water/gasoline vapors) with viral posts on fb 10-12 years ago. Fun to read about when you’re high—but about as supportable as the 200mpg carburetor. I finally decided that, if Smokey Yunick couldn’t figure it out, I sure wasn’t going to.
Some cool stories, though, and Tesla was definitely an interesting character. Truly a shame he was treated so badly.
Understanding voltage drop will set you free!
U-joint/swivel socket.
Not because the tool itself is a problem, but because if I need one, I know my knuckles will be feeling the pain soon.
And invariably whatever you’re tightening/loosening will take roughly twice as long to complete.
By “feeling pain” I assume you mean “bleeding heavily?”
Depends if I remember to wear gloves or not.
I wear leather gloves when working on any vehicle. It’s saved me a lot of pain and frustration. Without gloves, I can instantly peel multiple layers of skin off. My fingers are thin, delicate, and soft, so gloves are absolutely necessary. Even then, I get blisters, but generally avoid bleeding.
I’ve got some basic mechanic’s gloves and I’m a fan.
I used to mock them as an affectation (I mean for non-pros like me), but they really do make a difference, esp. if like me, you work in the parking lot of your apartment. They allow me to go back into my place w/o putting grease marks all over everything.
Level 4 cut gloves have made a world of difference for me. Just cutting down on the little nicks & scratches that are annoyingly painful and seem to take forever to heal especially in winter
Pick up a set of wobble adapters. They can’t get as sharp of an angle as the u-joints, but they preserve way more of the torque and control. If the angle’s shallow enough to use one, it’ll work way better.
Fluid transfer pumps do indeed suck. I hate using Allen wrenches. So much that I think Allen should be taken behind the woodshed and taught a lesson. And Snap ring pliers – you have to spend some money to get ones that work worth a damn (The new Icon ones at Harbor Freight finally work well without breaking.)
Drum brake shoe pliers, although I admit the job is even worse without them.
It’s not a tool per se but – the Scepter 1 gas can and its “amazing” spout. Or any “modern” no leak mumbo jumbo mandatory gas spout.
This one:
walmart dot com/ip/Scepter-1-Gallon-Capacity-SmartControl-Gas-Can-FR1G101-Red-Fuel-Container/227224239
Not a single time have I managed to get a drop out of this thing without getting my pulse to 200. Every single time I end up taking it off, look for a funnel, and lose half my gas spilled on some piece of machinery.
Whoever invented this and approved it should be forced to pour drinking water to their family exclusively with this, with a 3 hours dry period added every time it doesn’t go as planned.
Seriously. I spill more gas using those stupid new “no spill” nozzles than I ever did without them.
I ran my Beetle out of gas a few weeks ago. Of the 2 gallons in my new “no spill” gas container, only about 1.5 gallons actually made it into the gas tank. My hands, shoes, and the car interior smelled strongly of gas for days. HOW IS THIS AN IMPROVEMENT????
I understand the intention of these new cans is to reduce emissions from fuel that just evaporates in the can (which is more than you’d think), but just like you and everyone else I end up spilling way more liquid fuel than I did with old fashioned cans and I truly have to wonder which is worse for the environment.
As a corollary to this, my favorite thing to do is to replace those crappy spouts with a basic flexible one from the hardware store. My local ones carry a little kit that includes a replacement spout and a vent you can install on the back of the can. Best $5 I’ve ever spent.
I used to have 1M & 1S gas can pre-modern crap, went to buy another medium one, OMG WTH. Gave it away and bought a bunch of nice Justrite metal fuel cans.
Also recently bought a Justrite; the one with the pouring spout/tube. It’s great!
Eagle Gas Cans to the rescue. https://www.lowes.com/pd/Eagle-5-Gal-Metal-Gasoline-Can-w-Funnel/1002867890 Buy one for life. It will outlast you. For smaller cans, I’ve always used the NoSpill brand. The vent button prevents all the spillage. https://nospill.com/
Mallet/Sledgehammer. I hate using it, because if I’m using it that means something has already gone very wrong.
Regarding fluid pumps: I’ve always just used an old hand soap pump with lengths of aquarium tubing fitted over both the ends, and never had issues even with highly viscous gear oil.
Brilliant!
Use a big one from one of the 1gal bottle for mechanic soaps
I recently had to take a mallet to my carbon fiber wing and it hurt my soul
On the bright side, you do have a carbon fiber wing, which is always a win. The sport option on my brother’s car came with a carbon fiber front splitter, and its primary purpose seems to be making parking or any sort of near-curb driving much more stressful.