Quick, think of a cool-looking vehicle – car, truck, motorcycle, ATV, anything. Got one? OK, good.
I’m betting your squishy skull stuff has conjured something intended by its manufacturer to look (and hopefully be) some variety of cool. Since we’re Autopians, your idea of cool may be a Pagani or a Peugeot, a Bugatti or bug-eye Sprite, a Cadillac or a Cavalier (Z24, probably), but still, something meant to evoke some kind of coolness, a shape intended to look good for the sake of looking good.
You probably did not think of a farm tractor or a forklift or some other work vehicle or wheeled/tracked driver-operated utility thing. But those types of machines can indeed look pretty doggone cool! And that’s where we’re at with today’s Autopian Asks. We want you to tell us about the utility and work vehicles you think look way cooler than they should, ought to, or need to.
Let’s see what the gang at your favorite website thinks! No, this website. Who said Angie’s List? Weirdo.
I’ll go first. Ever since David wrote about the Clarktor CT-6 airport tug, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. It looks like it came from a parallel universe where WWII was decided by lawn care. It’s fantastic. Just look at that guy driving it. He can’t believe his good luck. Best day of his life. And did the CT-6 inspire the BMW Grille Design Team, if only in scale? Maybe.
Incredibly, I’m not the only airport tug fan here. Your favorite Daydreaming Designer, The Bishop, professed his love for the modern low-slung tugs that push and pull jetliners, and eloquently described them as “sci-fi shit.”
Sci-fi shit indeed! To wit, the Armored Personnel Carrier that took Ripley and the Colonial Marines in and out of LV-426‘s Weyland Yutani-built atmosphere processor in Aliens was in fact a Hunslet ATT77 Air Towing Tractor. The tug’s APC costume covers every bit of it, but there’s no mistaking those proportions and the massive counter-steering front and rear wheels. Love it.
Whereas the APC was packed with Marines (never mind the fact that the APC interior was far larger than what the actual vehicle could fit inside), the ATT77 airport tug is packed with … all that stuff above. Click to enlarge, it’s fascinating!
The Bish also dropped the shot above as a coolest-looking-vehicle-that-doesn’t-need-to-look-cool nominee. It’s an Oshkosh Striker 4500 Aircraft Rescue And Fire Fighting vehicle (ARFF for short). That’s a good acronym, and I assume those are jets of water and flame-retarding foam blasting from the cannons – but they could just as easily be particle beams if you squint (or click this link). Or, hear me out, this truck could be deployed to help make colossal tacos and sundaes as the SAWCAT (Sour And Whipped Cream Application Truck). I’m full of great ideas.
Resident world-traveling Australian engineer rock star Lewin Day came in hot with the Hardi sprayer. Says Lewin, “They’re monstrous, with the biggest models like the Rubicon 9000 hitting over 50 km/h with huge hydraulic motors in each wheel. Watching the giant boom skate over the terrain at speed is wild.” Watch indeed!
David dropped the photo below as a workin’ machine he loves, and man, I get it. That thing looks ready to flatten all comers under those tracks, and the design is all business with nary a curved panel in sight. It’s a Tucker Sno-Cat 1600 operated by Nova Guides, set up for touring Vail, Colorado, and I would absolutely like a ride.
Says David, “I mean just look at it. It’s humongous, and looks as silly as it does menacing, with a super basic, almost shed-like two-box design, four sets of tracks, and an enormity that’s almost laughable.” I dare you to laugh, DT!
I’ll chalk it up to being blinded by the tracked spectacle that is the Sn0-Cat 1600, but I was surprised David didn’t call out the all-time GOAT of vehicles designed purely to perform a job that not only went on to do the job but also succeeded in being incredibly, indelibly, durably cool decade after decade – I speak of the Jeep, of course, in its wonderful, original Willys MB spec. I especially like it with its jaunty fabric top. “Iconic,” to use a much-overused word, but none could be more apt.
Your turn: what are the working machines that hit your cool button? See you in the comments!
I saw a customized big rig the other day like those giant airport tugs. I have no idea what was being towed but it was crazy long and in the middle was a modified big rig cut down completely to look like those tugs. The cab area, complete with some dude sitting in it, was slung UNDER the load on some wheels. I think he was a midships spotter or something. Never seen anything like it. This was just a few weeks ago.
If this was on I-5 between Auburn and Everett, Washington, it was a 777 wing spar. Crazy long and a ‘low rider’ big rig that can steer the load around tight turns.
All of those cool Tatra and MAN 8×8 and 6×6 heavy trucks.
Sometimes when I’m bored, I’ll watch youtube videos of them in offroading competitions.
https://youtu.be/0gXFE6yr8jI?si=M7RfNFpL6HljY7ml
Fun fact about those ARRFs: they have nozzles on all sides to create an apron of foam around them to create a buffer from fire that might try to creep up on them due to any fuel spilled on the ground.
The original Ski Doo
and related,
Ford Model T with Snow Attachment
You know what vehicle I think is cool looking, but has no right to? Moffett truck mounted forklifts. They’re the ones you see, as the name states, mounted on the back of trucks or on semi trailers.
I just think it’s cool to see a truck that brings its own means to unload itself. Plus, watching the forklift load itself back onto the truck is really neat!
Hi, I’m an Autopian, and I may have a problem…
It’s the industrial version of the Honda City scooter in the trunk
Form following function without any bullshit: cool. Fake intakes on a brand new stock BMW: seriously uncool.
The HEMTT army trucks look so cool: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heavy_Expanded_Mobility_Tactical_Truck
Zero to 60 = “Hahaha, ‘sixty’!”
Hemtts are some of the faster army trucks, I think they’ll actually brush up against 60mph.
Old tractors, but that’s not an unusual opinion. What might not be is that I always liked telehandler forklifts. There are some really cool proportions in the design, but I’ve never been able to satisfactorily translate that into a design for a car.
I’m with you on old tractors, my fave being full bodied orchard tractors.
Came here to share a picture of a pretty old McCormick orchard tractor. Dang I wish I could attach pictures to posts.
Love orchard tractors. Like a cross between a regular tractor and a land speed record car.
Form follows function!
I think that’s where it started. I’m in New England, so orchards and small farms are familiar and well-regarded territory, though I didn’t really start to appreciate tractors aesthetically until I was probably in my 20s when it became more common for people to restore old ones and display them and I finally noticed that there are some pretty cool tractors. i don’t know the models, I just appreciate them when they catch my eye . . . or ear if they’ve got a Coffman starter.
The coolest looking has to be the OG enclosed tractor, the Minneapolis-Moline UTLX https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fusil_Automatique_Mod%C3%A8le_1917?wprov=sfla1
Wrong URL, the RSC 1917 has its own charms but I meant to post this:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File%3A1938_Minneapolis-Moline_tractor_side.JPG
That is begging to be turned into a rat rod.
I agree so much on the telehandlers! I think the mid sized ones look best, (Claas Scorpion, etc.) with tractor tires.
Whatever size the ones are that have the larger tires catch my eye every time. Hell, I’d rather check one of those out than any of these new generic hypercars.
I totally agree. Like the Manitou MT1335. I just really like the look of them,with or without front outriggers.
About 20 years ago, we got our van stuck in deep gravel at a remote cell site after we installed heavy equipment due to the lack of weight after the equipment was removed and we were perpendicular to the way out since that’s how we had to unload it. Anyway, there was some big construction going on in the lot next to us and one of the guys driving a telehandler up and down the dirt road that I had been checking out saw us and asked if we needed help. Sure! Lifted the E250 like nothing and carried it out to the road. He wouldn’t take any money for it, either. Can’t remember the brand or anything, but looking at photos of them, I think it was probably a JLG 742 or 943 (or whatever similar thing they had 20 years ago). It had that low cockpit way down between the big wheels and I think it was orange and black.
That sounds fun. I have a mug with a JLG on it, (it’s a toy JLG, but whatever). Anyway, my uncle has one of the smallest Manitous. I’ll ask if I can drive it sometime.
I’m going to have to hop on a stair car for this.
Hop on, I’ll meet you at the banana stand.
There’s always money in the banana stand.
I want a Bobcat for some reason – the little skid-steer beastie.
I have no use for one but they look really cool and have lots of attachments for doing different things. They’re also available with wheels or tracks!
Bobcats are great fun and can pop a wheelie very easily
Look up Black Sheep Skid steer on the various socials. Crazy guy from Arizona who does skid steer stunt riding and wheelies, holds the world record for longest wheelie in a skid steer. Really really cool to see in person.
Stealth naval ships
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sea_Shadow_(IX-529)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zumwalt-class_destroyer
The Sea Shadow is also a great way to initiate WW3 if you’re a satellite media mogul.
A zumwalt ported in my town. No idea why they stopped in Mobile when Pensacola or New orleans is so close. I’m just glad i got to see one up close. it looks SO much more epic in person. It is MUCH bigger than you think it would be looking at the pictures.
Rotary snowplows: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rotary_snowplow
I have actually seen these in action and it is both surreal, terrifying, and fascinating.
Holy shit, that looks essentially like a diesel Shai-Hulud.
I can imagine the Stephen King horror short story about that. Something something 1 in 100 year snow storm… a deal with a shady mechanic to bring out the snowplow that hasn’t been used in a few decades but no one remembers why… walking through blinding snow towards the only light you can see…the ground rumbles with an unholy sound…
Set in coastal Maine, of course
Obviously, it would have been written during King’s cocaine period
1980s King was described by culture writer Nathan Rabin as a “sentient bag of cocaine”.
Presumably, this hypothetical short story would be considered a metaphor for his nostril
Every winter in Tahoe, some schmuck will park on the street while a Tahoe storm comes barreling in. Three days later, the storm finally clears and leaves behind eight feet of snow. And then the rotary plow drivers head out to do their jobs.
The rotary plows sometimes find those street-parked cars buried under the snow. And the plows always win.
How about the Rokon Trail-Breaker 2WD motorcycle?
https://rokon.com/product/trail-breaker/
this is rad but why are these so expensive??!!! It looks like something someone built in their shed!
They are ludicrously overpriced for what they are. I mean, the thing is running a lawnmower engine with no real lubrication system. Just not acceptable when you can buy a real dirt bike for like $1200 on Amazon and it comes with an actual transmission, oil pump, and suspension.
Anyways, that’s why I make do with lowly 1wd on my Coleman bike.
I‘d like to add the Schiltrac, a Swiss „Geräteträger“ not unlike the Unimog.
https://www.kheer.ch/produkte/schiltrac/
“sci-fi shit”
Equilibrium agrees 😛
https://www.reddit.com/r/Thatsabooklight/comments/itii9t/equilibrium_2002_uses_a_fresia_sp_200_aircraft/
A great, underappreciated movie for sure. And I’m actually just fine with “gunkata” as seen in the movie, I don’t need the Michael Bay-style CGI verison that eveyone clamors for that will surely screw it all up.
The Grumman LLV. Looked like the future back in 1987; especially compared to the DJ.
Let us post pictures, damnit!
Lunar Roving Vehicle takes the cake. A bit basic looking, but the titanium-treaded, zinc-coated steel stranded “resilient wheels” are just f’ing awesome. They set the whole thing up.
The Case Quadtrac 620: First impressions: How does 778hp Case Quadtrac shape up? – Farmers Weekly (fwi.co.uk)
Because anything is made cooler with tracks!
SHERP N1200 please!
https://sherpglobal.com/en/sherp-n-1200-2/
How can something be so rugged AND adorable?!
I’m a sucker for a good Unimog, especially the 406s.
+ 1. Wish I still had my old Matchbox one.
My all time favorite is the U1000 or U1500. I would kill for any Unimog though
Australian Road trains.
“Tomorrow’s Bacon” (If you know, you know)
Australian– and off-Road trains. The snow trains for the US Army looked pretty cool.
Any urban streetsweeper.
There’s something so strangely compelling about its tall and upright, wedge-ily compact looks, all the various lights, and the usually only-partially-visible rotating brushes.
I never realized the damn things refill at fire hydrants. Somewhere in the back of my mind I realized they couldn’t possibly carry enough water to last an entire day, but I never thought too hard about it. And then earlier this summer my brother tells me out of the blue, “Hey, did you know they’ll stop over a storm sewer line, empty the tub, and hopefully a fire hydrant is close enough to fill up with fresh water?” And it was like my mind was blown.
Dammit, am I really about to go looking for videos of street sweepers refilling their tanks?
M109 Paladin.
“We need mobile artillery!”
“Okay, we can tow that cannon thingy on the back of a Jeep”
“Er, no… Something larger. Something that can move itself. Something that can fire with others like it in conjunction from,like, 15 miles away, all raining shells down into an area that would make it unrecognizeable on Google Maps.”
“Um, what about this thing? The Paladin thingy?”
“Does it use complex shells?”
“No, you literally have to swab the chamber, load the round, and add bags of gunpowder like you were on a 1730’s British ship-of-the-line…”
“Make it happen”
Is this the one that shot four shells in different parabolic arcs in quick succession so that they all would land in the same place at the same time?
I do not know, but it sounds plausible, especially with the variable number of gunpowder charges one can use.
They are typically used in clusters, and they can drop x shells inside of a few meters of each other at the same time, where x is however damn many Paladins are part of the firing solution.
I mean there is style for the sake of style in pretty much everything designed by humans to be purchased by humans. For this though, may I submit: The Bagger 288
This song has lived rent free in my head for 15 years.
Same, which is why I feel compelled to share it every once in a while.
One of my grail vehicles that could fall into this category is a Dodge Dreamer. It’s ridiculous and I love it.
I’ve always liked the M274 “Mule”. I mean it’s somebody’s back deck, but with wheels and an engine. If they were cheaper would be awesome to make a land-based party barge.
Aside from that, anything cabover. Or ridiculous.
Got my introduction to the “Mule” watching Maximum Overdrive. That one was terrorizing everybody with a mounted m60 machine gun, just over the top ridiculous/hilarious.
Heavy duty wreckers always look basass. Bigger the better, gotta have at least 4 axles. And the guys who order them most of the time go buck wild using a chromed out Peterbilt, Kenworth or Western Star. And some crazy wild paint schemes, enough lights on it that you could see it from orbit
If I were the one spending all the money those things cost I’d be having Xzibit bling it out too lol
Huh, the Dreamer is like those weird Ford Centurion’s. I agree those were awesome. Did any of those van/truck/dually combos have factory support, or were they all made by coach builders?
The Centurions are awesome too. I’m probably wrong, but I can’t think of a vehicle that came from the factory like that. Coach builders used to turn out some awesome stuff. Wish conversion vans would make a comeback.