Good morning! We’re kicking off this week with a pair of cars that are sure to get your neighbors asking questions when they see them parked in your driveway. Which one causes less embarrassment? That will be up to you.
We ended Friday’s experiment with an Isuzu and an Oldsmobile, and I kind of figured that you all wouldn’t go for that Calais. It put up a better fight than I was afraid it would, though, getting almost 40 percent of the vote. But even with a stickshift, there’s no way a forty-year-old GM car with no keys was going to win. I knew that. But I liked it, so I had to feature it.
Between those two, for me, it would come down to intended usage. As things are right now, all I’d be looking for is a toy, something to putter around with and drive to the beach on nice days, and the Amigo is the obvious choice for that. But if I needed a cheap beater just to get back and forth to work, I’d head straight for the Olds. Basic, reliable, easy to get parts for, and invisible to nearly everyone – that’s what I want in a daily driver.
Now then: The make, model, color, age, or condition of the car you choose to drive shouldn’t matter to anyone, but of course it does. We all judge people on their vehicles, and us car folks are probably worse about it than others. But those of us with a thing for cheap, old, weird cars sometimes have the opposite problem; we get self-conscious about our hoopties, and sometimes feel like we have to justify them – hence the popularity of “Don’t Laugh, It’s Paid For” bumper stickers.
The truth is that most of our cheap old cars probably fly under the radar of the general population, at least if they’re in presentable condition and not obnoxious. Neighbors can and do complain about certain cars being in driveways, but usually that has more to do with the neighbor than the car. Our two choices today, however, might raise some eyebrows in even the most tolerant of neighborhoods. Let’s take a look.
1979 Mercedes-Benz 450SL – $3,900
Engine/drivetrain: 4.5-liter overhead cam V8, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Culver City, CA
Odometer reading: 171,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives “pretty decent”
Almost no car in the world drops in both monetary value and cachet as quickly as a sporty Mercedes. New, they’re status symbols, sexy, state-of-the-art cars to be seen in. After a few years and a couple of owners, however, the bloom fades from the rose quickly, and they start to seem – I hesitate to say “trashy,” but yeah, kinda. Think of it this way: Jennifer Hart drove a Mercedes SL, but so did Ordell Robbie.
R107-chassis SLs have been bargains for a lot of years, but the value of nice ones has started climbing. Not-so-nice ones are still pretty cheap, but they are not without a certain stigma. I think it’s the modifications that work against it; the ground effects, AMG badge, lowered ride height, and aftermarket wheels just make it look less like the car of someone who solves crimes and more like the car of someone who commits them. But the good news is that these are stout, well-built cars, and there’s nothing here that can’t be undone.
It looks pretty good inside, and the aftermarket steering wheel is actually a big improvement over the ugly stock Mercedes wheel. The dashboard wears one of those carpet toupees, and I’m sure it’s hiding at least a few cracks. The other question is the condition of the soft top; remember, the SL is a convertible.
It could use some paint, especially on the hood. It’s too bad someone painted it flat black; if it were still burgundy and just faded, you could probably get away with calling it “patina.” As it is, I think a paint job is eventually in order. I think it’s strange that someone went to the trouble of installing Euro-style composite lights, and those weird ground effects, but left the gigantic 5 MPH battering-ram bumpers in place.
2006 Mitsubishi Eclipse – $3,700
Engine/drivetrain: 2.4-liter overhead cam inline 4, four-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Hayward, CA
Odometer reading: 170,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
Whenever a new version of a beloved car comes out, there are bound to be complaints. Even if the new generation turns out to be a vast improvement, it has to prove itself to the faithful who love the previous version. Sometimes, however, the criticism of the new car is valid, especially when it comes to size and weight. Such is the case with the Mitsubishi Eclipse. The original was everyone’s darling, the second generation became a movie star, and after that it got fat and mushy. This fourth-generation Eclipse weighs something like seven hundred pounds more than an equivalent first-generation would have.
The standard engine in this final generation of Eclipse was a 2.4 liter four with Mitsubishi’s MIVEC variable valve timing system. You could get it with either a five-speed manual or a four-speed automatic; sadly this one has the latter. It runs and drives well, the seller says, and everything works fine. It just completed both a smog inspection and a road trip to Reno, both of which speak highly of its mechanical condition. It does have a salvage title, from that little bonk on the nose. It doesn’t take much to total a car when it gets this cheap.
It has held up well over the course of 170,000 miles, and the seller says the air conditioning and heat both work well. My biggest problem with the Eclipse is that it feels a little dark and cave-like inside. The beltline is so high, and the windows are so small, that it feels smaller than it is inside.
We do, of course, have to mention the color. Mitsubishi has made some strange decisions, but never once did it offer the Eclipse in Pepto-Bismol pink. It’s a wrap, and the paint underneath is a far more subdued burgundy. You could remove the wrap, I suppose, or you could just embrace it.
You shouldn’t care what the neighbors think of your car, of course. But there are limits to what one is willing to explain. One of these used to be a respectable car until someone made a bunch of tacky modifications to it, and the other would blend into the scenery if it weren’t the color of Hubba Bubba. Either one can be put to rights, but in the meantime, you’d have to park it in your driveway as it is. Which one would you rather see out the window every morning?
(Image credits: sellers)
I would just finish the SL with the correct bumbers and drive it.
It looks like it at least needs to be saved from its current owner.
I think the Mercedes is one of the most beautiful cars of its era. So it already has an advantage. The Eclipse would have had a chance with a stick, or even with the turbo, but this one isn’t really different from a Civic automatic – it’s an appliance. Get a good paint job for the Benz, drive it gently in sunny weather, and enjoy looking classy.
This is The Way. A bit of gussying up, and you’ve got style forever.
Given that the Mitsu is wearing a wrap, why not lean into it?
Get a giant HUBBA BUBBA logo printed in vinyl and stick it right on! Or fuck it all, and go ahead and add a Pepto-Bismol sticker. Or get really stupid about it and find a feminine care product logo. Add some oversized tires and you’ve got a ready-made budget donk.
I’ll take Hubba Bubba for a while, just to enjoy the stupidity of it.
I’m a sucker for R107s so I’d have this repainted in the stock burgundy color and would also get those Ronal Penta Alloys back to its original polished look.
Might undo the suspension later.
I’ll take the Mercedes, no one’s noticed the Penta style road wheels and Nardi steering wheel along with Euro lights, what’s not to love???
Mercedes, replace bumpers and suspension. Possibly paint it with a classic racing livery. These things look great with an amateur race paint job.
Both cars need work in order to make them presentable. But at the end of the work on the Mercedes you will be left with a neat old car that few people have anymore because most of them were scrapped decades ago. At the end of the work on the Eclipse, you will be left with… An Eclipse that few people have anymore because they don’t want it.
Plus, any time I see a used car with a wrap, I get nervous about what it looks like underneath the vinyl. But then I live in Minnesota so I have good reason to be paranoid about it.
This was easy…gimmee the Merc vs. Mitsu”bitch”i…especially a pink Eclipse. That Merc is awesome w/ a V8 and looks like a lot of fun to drive.
I will fix it up and paint it blue
I don’t care what my neighbors think, but I ain’t drivin’ no pepto pink Eclipse.
At least you wouldn’t lose the Mitsubishi in a parking lot. I’m sure there are folks who like pink cars, I don’t happen to be one of them. Though I might make an exception if my aunt Mary’s one time car (many years ago) that was a classic Mustang (~1965 model year) in Ford pink turned up again.
I haven’t had an old German car to amuse and annoy me for a while, I’d go Mercedes. It might even have that nostalgic background smell of ancient German horsehair.
Ah, back in the day the SL was the ride of all the white collar young dudes in Southern California who wanted to present a more sophisticated and mature image than 911 drivers. My boss had a new SL. I had a third hand 911.
The most expensive car in the world is a cheap Mercedes. And I would be embarrassed to be seen in that one, far more so than in the pink Eclipse.
I voted for the Merc, but I respect the in-your-face pink of that Eclipse and would rock that thing like nobody’s business.
There’s a lot wrong with that Mercedes – the dash, the potential issues with the top, the “drives “pretty decent””, the part about keeping a beat up old German car running. That said, once it was brought back into some decent sort of shape, it would be fun thing to drive around in. Can’t really say that for the Eclipse. And I’m pretty sure I could get the neighbors on board once I brought the Merc home, lined up a few wine bottles and plates of appetizers on that shelf of a bumper, and had them all over for a get-together.
The Mercedes just needs a nice set of wheels and a hood respray. The rest of the exterior mods are ok-ish enough to live with.
The Mitsu was likely wrapped since the paint was bad and who knows how much damage is lurking from that front end bonk. If it was cheaper, it would be perfect to get wrecked at the next sideshow.
No interest in those POS Mitsubishis even if it were a color I like. The MB reminds me of my ’83 Subaru sedan with the same overall color and flat black in the center of the hood (and the trunk, largely to try to hide the panel gaps and because the paint was damaged), plus the aftermarket steering wheel. Throw some yellow Hella 500s on the bumper, clean it up, see what needs to be done about the body kit (not necessarily rip it off as it’s period cheesiness), give the dash a 3/4-ass-fix, replace the suspension if the ride is terrible, and run it. I don’t care what anyone else would think of me for it, it’s a $3900 car.
Good shit show today Mark.
But I can’t make myself vote for either one…YMMV of course.
Mercedes. I’d rather look like a criminal than someone who picks a car like that and intentionally makes it that color.
Even getting close a Mercedes Benz sends me into anaphylactic shock and I’m all out of epi-pens. Guess I’ll opt for Tonya Hardings’s diaphragm, though that may require other kinds of shots.
I read she likes to be tied up with skate laces in the bed…
That may have been a condition of her probation.
The Mitsu looks like a pepto bismol suppository
These are for sale because their respective owners are now shacking up and don’t need two cars. They plan to get rid of whichever one sells first and keep the other for the new weed delivery business they’re planning to start up.
A real-estate-agent friend-of-the-family has a clean burgundy 380SL, and the look on his face when he saw this Benz parked beside his would nearly be worth the purchase price. It’d be kinda fun to drive around as-is, looking menacing.
I’m not really voting against the Eclipse, though. I think I’d even leave the pink on for a while, apart from the headlights.