“No one’s perfect,” as they say (except for my wife, obviously, in case she reads this), and the things we ones make are imperfect too. That certainly applies to cars, and even those vehicles that come nearest to the flawless combination of form, function, performance, and practicality still have irksome errors in design or execution that can annoy if not outright boggle the mind. An ill-placed door pull that rubs your knee in exactly the wrong spot. A rear-seat center headrest precisely placed to block your view out the back window. The cupholders in the S197 Mustang that made it impossible to enjoy a manual transmission and a Big Gulp simultaneously.
Or, perhaps there’s a bit of bum styling that offends your eye. My example–and perhaps an example only for me–is the first-gen Capri’s character line. It’s a thick spear that shoots down the side of the body and over the wheel wells like a three-dimensional speed line, only go limp and tuck behind the rear wheel. I’ve always loved the Capri’s crisp mini-musclecar vibe, but that abrupt turn is just ugh. Really kills the vibe, and I feel a straight line would have been superior. Judge for yourself … and the see how I have been judged.
1972 Mercury Capri image via Bring a Trailer
You may disagree! Lord knows Adrian and Jason did. One of the greatest–heck, thee greatest–things about working here is collaborating with the best and brightest writers and creatives, whom I admire greatly. Even if their tough love makes me wonder if they even tough-like me: 
Four out of five dentists recommend Whore Mouth toothpaste, FYI.
Had I thought of my Mustang-cupholders example earlier, this all could have been avoided.
FYI if you like that little peak behind the curtain: we collect the week’s best (or worst, as the case may be) high jinks for Tales From The Slack, a “members only” feature each week. It’s included with every membership tier including Cloth. You don’t want to miss that! Become a Member today– right now, even!
My 2017 Raptor and all F-150s I’m sure has an electronic tailgate release only. I don’t know how long trucks have been like this but it’s an outrage. I do like the remote trigger, but there is also no button inside the cab like any other actual car. You have to grab the remote out of your pocket. . . just the whole implementation is bad.
The lack of a trunk release button on the trunk. (Chevy SS) It has a proximity key, so I can unlock the car with a push of a button on any door handle, but I have to fumble in my pocket for the fob if I want to open the trunk (like when I’m carrying things I want to put in the trunk).
I dunno, the first-gen Capri is precisely my kind of kink. I thought we didn’t kink shame around here!
They’re both wrong. The straight line is characterless, and the kink is too vertical and approaches the wheel arch too closely.
As for my own gripe… I’ve been pretty lucky. The one thing that sprang to mind is the rimless door glass on my old Forester.
For one thing, i never got used to it. I’d park it with the windows cracked, and try to push the door closed using the imaginary rim. Even after 5 years.
The other thing was, of course it was noisier. And, after just a few years, a bit leaky.
Boo on rimless door glass.
Yeah, that was a little awkward at times, but it saved my bacon once. I picked up my mom at the airport, I couldn’t park by her… So as my mind was scrambling to run over to her, get her bags and toss them in… I locked myself out of my FXT with the engine running. The frameless window made it easy for a cop to come along and hit the unlock button with his slim jim.
Jason, I don’t have to tell you that in cars, like partners / significant others, “..boring…’ is often a preferred attribute over “…hot mess…”.
(See: Volvo 240.)
I’m glad this was your example, because you’re 1000% right. So… non-sarcastic mazel tov.
PERHAPS if the down-line was parallel to the wheel well…
Your straight line gives it character, and the taper on each end implies “javelin”, which is to say “speed”.
Maybe they didn’t wanna make design promises that the car couldn’t keep? Like, “We want people to think it’s sporty…ish, but we don’t wanna lie to ’em. Give it some character, but make it, y’know, disappointing character.”
Wasn’t that Pontiac’s ’90s and ’00s design philosophy too? “You see, it’s ribbed. Also, notice how the rear spoiler is now stranger by 30% b/c these new winglets.” “Great, let’s get it to market!”
Team unkinked…
Truly the only fault in my Fiesta ST is the lack of a “Jesus handle” for the passenger. I know it’s not feasible to put one in because the side curtain airbag is there, but my poor victims riding shotgun have nothing to hang onto and frequently complain about it.
“Jesus handle”! That’s the best name i’ve heard for that very useful appendage.
My mom has always called it a “grab bar”, which has no zing to it… unless it puts you in mind of handicapped restrooms, in which case negative-zing.
My wife’s family, though, they know what’s up. They’ve always called it the OSB (for “Oh Shit Bar”), which is honest and still a dumb-fun thing to say as i enter my 50s.
But “Jesus handle”, that’s a nice family-friendly turn of phrase.
My friends and I also referred to it as the OSB, not to be confused with Oriented Strand Board.
We called them OSH but same deal
I’d always called them the HSH (Holy Shit Handle) as that’s what an old neighbour of mine called them.
I have never noticed that character line droop on the Capri before. But now it will the only thing I see every time from now on. So thanks for that. 🙂
Good thing there are not too many left I guess.
The horrendous ride on my Kona N. It’s pretty much a perfect dual personality daily that does spirited driving better than anything else in its class and it can do a mighty fine impersonation of a regular hatchback/small SUV when turn all the fun stuff and put it in eco mode.
…except when it comes to the ride. The normal suspension mode is a notch too stiff, the sport mode is extremely stiff (I only use it when I’m terrorizing backroads and I still get out feeling like I’ve been on a rollercoaster), and Sport+ is unusable under any circumstances. It shouldn’t even exist IMHO. You will literally be thrown out of your seat in sport+/the stock N mode. It’s not even fun, and I have more tolerance for harshness than the average person.
Other than that it’s perfect. I love the damn thing. It’s done well with every task I’ve thrown at it from antisocial driving, to commuting, to road tripping with the wife and pup. It’s a joy to beat on it and it’s comfortable enough to go through my hellish commutes in.
But Jesus tap dancing Christ, the ride. If there’s one thing that’ll pull me away from the car in the next few years that’s what it’s going to be. Even in the softest mode I occasionally hit one of our famous DC potholes by accident and spend a good 15 seconds asking myself if it’s worth it. Then I get on the gas again and giggle like a kid. But the ride is inexcusably bad for 2023 and IMHO it’s the main reason the car was a flop.
Journalists couldn’t get over it and no normie could be upsold to the Kona N because as soon as they got behind the wheel it was nope city. And it’s a damn shame because it’s an amazing car otherwise. Anyway I’m probably going to put softer springs on it in the next couple of weeks and see if they solve the issue. The internet seems to think that the Kona Ns are a set of aftermarket springs away from perfection and they won’t void the warranty, so other than having to spend a couple hundred bucks I don’t see much of a downside in trying.
I bet higher profile tires would solve it.
Yep, it did on my Mustang. I love the looks of the 40-profile 19’s, but the 215/65r17s that I put on as winter tires rode so much better that I just… kept them on.
I wasn’t thinking that drastic, he could just go up to 45 from 40 stock on stock rims, and it should make a noticeable difference.
My Fiesta doesn’t have any way to pop the hatch that isn’t the key or the button outside on the hatch itself. I’m not often in a situation where this really matters but when I am, it drives me up the wall every time.
It’s most annoying when I’m dropping someone off and they need to get something out of the cargo area. You’d think that since the key is in the car and detected, it will just let them pop the hatch but that doesn’t always work. Once in a blue moon it does but usually you need to either get out and open the hatch for them or fish your keys out of your pocket to hit the button on the key.
That is annoying isn’t it?
It is a pretty good cheap car though, unless you have the fumbling automatic thing.
I have the ST so no lousy, shuddery automatic for me. It is a great commuter car for the price though. Mine has every option except for navigation which is no big deal when you have carplay and still only had a $25k MSRP
I just posted this about my Raptor too. In addition to no mechanical release, which means they had to disassemble my tailgate to open it when the actuator quit working. Which means they had to break into my tonneau cover that’s not supposed to open until the tailgate is down.
Came here to post this exact thing about my ST. It makes airport runs very annoying.
My 1st gen Cayenne isn’t my perfectly designed car but I think its solid except one thing: The A and B pillars have faux aluminum (or maybe it’s real) appliques – opposite of most cars where they’re painted black to hide them so there is an illusion of a solid piece of glass front to back, or body color where they blend in. But no, Porsche for some reason thought this unessescary bit of bling was a way to set it aside in the growing luxury SUV marketplace. It also has aluminum look decorations on the door handles and a alu-look rub strip on the lower doors. It’s not hideous but it breaks up the visual “smoothness” of the design AND to emphasize I’m right about this the Turbo and GTS versions don’t have it which seems to point to someone up top knowing this didnt’ look good if the most top end models didn’t have it and they got rid of this decoration completely on the 2nd generation Cayennes.
The Capri does need just a subtle fix.
https://photos.app.goo.gl/cXYZ4wqs5smmJLTz7
Agreed – if that line were equidistant from the wheel arch, it’d be… significantly less awful.
The MX-5 RF is the best car I’ve ever owned. I’ve never loved a car this much. However. Could they really not fit a glovebox in the MX-5 ND? Really? Not even a small one? The compartment between the seats is not easy to access.
That was Mazda’s gram strategy. They removed weight everywhere they could.
I know, I know. I get it. But. C’mon…
Hell, get rid of the mostly useless storage in the armrest and give me a glovebox.
I have an NC2 PRHT, aka the fat Miata. It may 4×4 ride height, but it’s got a glove box. 🙂
My ’68 4-4-2 has two things that drive me nuts – 1. The hood hinges. These things are ’68 only, Cutlass/4-4-2-only parts so you can’t easily swap them out. They also allow make it so the hood lifts the least of any of GM’s A-body cars, so be prepared to hit your head a lot. 2. The glove compartment. You have to push the release button on the cover, then let it flop down, but there’s nothing to grab to pull it down. You just have to get lucky and hope it starts to drop down on its own.
And as a once-orthodox Jew, I can confirm “Mazel Tov” refers to “Mazel”, which is a vague term related to Astrology. Basically, if you imagine G-d using the stars as a control panel to steer events in the world (and your life), that’s “Mazel.” “Tov” means “Good” so when you wish someone “Mazel Tov” you are literally hoping that the stars align so that things go well for them. When you do it sarcastically, it really fits nicely since, depending on your theological perspective, either the concept of Mazel is ridiculous or asking G-d to whip the stars around is ridiculous. Either way, like most Yiddish/Hebrew phrases, sarcasm really dials it up to 11.
Jeep seems hell bent on having the front bumper of every Compass (and I think the Patriot suffers from it too) having some sort of slot or two right below the 7-slot grille/above the front license plate mounting location.
Why is it bad? Because you generally see the 5mph safety/impact bumper right behind the bumper cover…. And because it’s open, just living in the salt states mean you can always tell when it starts to rust, since it’s so visible. It’s something I notice more than when someone recently backed into my front end a couple weeks ago because they just needed a brand-new long bed, crew cab Chevy 2500 and just had to park in a parking lot that barely fits a WK2 Grand Cherokee in it.
It’s been driving me wild for years on my Compass.
The 6 way power driver seat on my 2021 F250 is very annoying. It has power adjustments for height, forward/backward, and the angle of the lower seat cushion. Seatback recline is manual, though. This isn’t a problem per se, but the angle of the backrest changes slightly whenever you use any of the power seat adjustments. Unfortunately, the manual recline adjustment isn’t as precise, so it is almost impossible to adjust the seat to be comfortable again if someone else drives it or if I accidentally hit one of the power seat adjustment buttons. It is bad enough that I have considered selling the truck. I have no idea why Ford design the seat this way.
My 90s expedition was the same way, so…tradition?
I am at the Netherlands ATM. Had to rent a car while we are here, and had a BMW1 lined up with Sixt in January, but somewhere around May they switched to an Audi A3, then because of a bad storm we arrived late and got switched to a Lync & Co 01 at double the price (although some reviews say they only need a day ending in “y” to do this to customers.)
The Lynk & Co would be awesome in the US. But here in the Netherlands it’s just a bit too big. It’s great on the highway (where 62 is the highest speed, and it’s whisper quiet). But visit any city and you’ll feel like you stick out, like you are imposing to others in traffic. The 6.5 l/100kph (about 36mpg) I’ve been averaging is also great for the US, but well off the mark of the BMW and A3 (50+mpg in most frugal, and probably fleet vehicle trim.)
Give me one in the US, and support for when it dies, and I’d love it.
I have to remove the 3 head restraints on my 09 xB in order to fold the rear seat down. WTF?
Ford’s old “Normal AC” vs “Max AC” positions instead of the symbols for outside air and recirculated air always bugged me. They look like fan speeds. When I first got into my old F150, I was like “what the hell? There are already fan speed selections on the other dial. Why do they need another?”
Good one. I have a Mustang (see below) that for some reason has a “TRAC OFF” button instead of one with an icon of a slipping tire (which is what’s displayed on the cluster when the traction control actually operates). Why wouldn’t Ford just use the same thing on each to connect the two in drivers’ minds?
I currently have 2 2001 Ford Mustang GTs…. a Bullitt that I am restoring and a GT convertible. I was just noticing this a couple months ago that one has the TRAC OFF button, and the other has the icon of the slipping tire.
70’s Ford A/C controls had the slider that was labeled “MAX FRESH OFF” and that always sounded like a New Wave dance contest of some sort.
In the 02-06 ford falcon max ac is the coldest setting and it automatically sets it to recirc… otherwise recirc is on a button
I love my new 7MT Bronco.
I HATE the electronic e-brake. The button for which is located under the dash just out of comfortable reach of the driver.
I have to use it every time I drive, and curse it every time. I live in constant fear that I will forget one day and watch my Bronco roll away into tragedy because I can’t get used to this stupid thing.
What’s wrong with a handbrake??
Safety stuff like that should just be mechanical in my opinion. Add electronic door handles to that list.
Couldn’t agree more. Electronic openers for passenger doors has never made sense to me. I’m ok with it for a hatch/trunk, and MAYBE i’m ok with it if the mechanical backup just requires you pulling the handle harder (some cars have this)… but I guess at that point just make it fully mechanical?
If your battery dies on a hundred degree day and you are parked at the top of a hill, you might be tempted to let it roll downhill and pop the clutch to start.
Unfortunately you can’t do that if you have an electronic E-brake, it needs battery power to release!
I purchased my 1990 Miata brand new as soon as they were released. It is the best car I will ever own but it does have a flaw. The pop-up headlights are the size of barn doors. Seriously, you can use them as air brakes. And they are a very inelegant square shape. If only Mazda had made them round or oval, I could have enjoyed those 200,000 breezy top-down sports car miles instead of dreading the twilight like a damn chick flick vampire.
I always kinda liked them b/c of that inelegance. It seemed to reflect the racing ethos behind popups – that ideally, the car wouldn’t have lights at all and just be a aero shape, but since it has to, we’ll design it to look amazing with them down, but less so with them up.
To me, it’s the same idea as a coupe body style – the impractical-ability of it as a way to signal its closeness to one Platonic idea of motoring, the race.
To be fair, they only bugged me for the first 100,000 miles.
I’m not overly tall (6’0”) but for some reason the top of the windshield on my ‘08 Charger is not tall enough to let me see most traffic lights if I’m the first car waiting at the intersection. I either stay way back from the stop line to be able to see, or crane my head low to the level of the dash to be able to see the light change. Literally the only complaint I have of this car after 15 years of motoring bliss.
My ‘93 ZJ (non-holy grail) Grand Cherokee has the “Selec-trac” shift lever right where my calf likes to lean on the hump/console, so after about 30-40 minutes of driving my leg is tired of holding itself off the shifter. But whatever I love it in all it’s Jeepy glory haha
2 things, one was rectified by Honda a couple of years later, a volume knob and an actual hand brake. Though I usually just leave it in gear when I exit the vehicle. The E brake is ok. I prefer the old school way.
I just got a new Integra, and it’s yet another car for me with a very shallow-sloped rear window, but no rear wiper. If a car has a good rear defroster, it’s not that big a deal, but my previous car (a Civic Si) had a surprisingly weak defroster, and no wiper, and it was annoying every time it rained. I haven’t had the chance to drive this one in the rain yet, but I’ve got a bad feeling. I LOVE the car though.
Edit: Heh, I didn’t mean that to be a reply. 😀
That is the problem with ’18 Si, a wiper is sorely needed and my defroster is pretty strong with our Montana winters.