Y’know, as the author of the Autopian Asks series, I’m supposed to provide the copy – it’s kind of baked into the whole “author” concept. Sometimes, however, I don’t have enough juice to supply a suitably entertaining (to me, anyway) personal history or spicy hot-take on the question of the day, so I hit up The Gang for their stories. Today was not supposed to be one of those days. Despite assuring everyone that I had today’s Autopian Asks handled with my own tale, I suspected they might have their own silly-stop stories to share. And boy did they! David alone offered three! Now all I have to do is copy-paste; happy Friday to me.
Torch
In college, I was pulled over because I was a 19-year-old kid with longish hair driving a VW Beetle. There was a Dead show around Atlanta, where I was driving, and I think I just fit a profile. I never liked the Dead. They searched my car, too, looking for drugs. Can’t cops just get their drugs from the evidence room? Anyway, they didn’t find anything though I did find out later my girlfriend at the time was carrying. I had no idea.
Another: I once drove my Beetle while it was stuck in reverse backwards through town at three in the morning to get it to a shop to fix it, and had zero cop interactions. But in LA, I’ve had my truck impounded for being a month out of registration.
Matt
I’ve only been pulled over three times in 25 years of driving and those stops mostly made sense, although I was once pulled over for crossing a double yellow into a parking spot on a normal ass road. [Ed note: I agree, this isn’t much of a story. I just like that Matt left the hyphen out of “normal ass road,” which means there’s a non-zero chance it was a “normal ass-road.” – Pete]
Thomas
I once got pulled over because my license plates were too new for the ALPR system. I had a back seat full of winter tires, an exhaust leak the size of a baseball, no license plate light because it had rotted off, and I was driving an Ontario-registered car that the ministry accidentally registered to an address I didn’t even live at anymore, on a BC license … and they just let me go without even so much as a warning.
Stephen
Pulled twice for drugs (no drugs found either time), but mostly for being a kid in a rusty ’84 Cougar and a ’96 LHS. “Pulled” once for being a potential mass shooter. I pulled up to a beach bar by the pedestrian barricades and pulled a mic stand out of the trunk of my New Yorker for a beach bar gig. Sheriffs mistook it for a long gun and had me on my knees with a gun to my back in 30 sec. “DROP THE WEAPON!”
“It’s a mic stand! I’m a musician!”
Laurence
Last year my partner and I were on a backroad and late to a mate’s wedding in Project Cactus. We were going down a long straight into a valley and I wasn’t watching my speed. The one time I let the speed creep up, and of course there was a highway patrol car parked in the valley. I pulled over right after I went past him before he even put his lights on. The cop came up to my window and just laughed. He said “I had to check the radar a few times to make sure, didn’t think this thing could get over 100kmh!” We had a chat about what Project Cactus is and he let me off with a warning since I pulled over before he even turned his lights on. Of all the road trips I’ve done in that ute, taking it into the centre of Brisbane and everything, my one cop interaction is on an abandoned backroad when the cop was probably having a nap!
David
1. I was once pulled over for literally no reason. I had just been off-roading with my brother in my 1992 Jeep Cherokee XJ, which was already a bit old and rusty. Add the mud to it, and I looked both poor and a bit, I dunno, adventurous. Regardless of what looked like, I wasn’t doing anything wrong – I was just sitting in my car in a northern Michigan hotel parking lot taking a bit of a break. I pulled out of the lot, got the reds and blues, and the cop asked me for my license. I asked why he’d pulled me over, he raised his voice: “LICENSE AND REGISTRATION.” He then later gave it back and stated his reason: “You were looking suspicious.”
2. I got pulled over for doing 40 in a 40. Both cops ran to my car on either side and beamed flashlights into my eyes. Why would driving the speed limit get me pulled over? Because there was an inch of snow on the ground and I drove past a cop. This was the situation that made me lose faith in the American judicial system; I had great tires on my Jeep, tons of snow-driving experience, and an inch of snow wasn’t causing any significant handling issues. When I fought the ticket in court, they agreed to take the three points off my license but made me pay $190. Why? Because the damn magistrate was friends with the cop! The judge asked me “Did you or did you not drive past officer [what’shisname]” and when I responded with “Yes, but …” he cut me off and said, “We’re done here.” What an absolutely pathetic judge, pathetic cop, and pathetic system there in Troy.
3. On i-75 in Michigan, no drivers observe the speed limit of 70 MPH. Everyone does closer to 80. Everyone. If you were to use a radar gun, you’d probably find that 95% of all cars are doing over 75. That’s just how it is. One day I noticed that I was driving past everyone, and I was only doing 77. “What the?” I wondered. Then I saw it: There was a cop at the front of this big line of cars, and no car ahead of him for miles. “This is strange,” I thought. I set my cruise control for 71 MPH, and I slowly, slowly, SLOWLY passed the officer who IMMEDIATELY pulled me over to fulfill what was simply a power trip. Look, I appreciate cops and what they do for our communities, but in Michigan, especially driving my old junky cars, police were extremely unfair towards me (and I’m sure to many, many others — I hate to even think about what others have had to deal with), and it was simply unacceptable.
Your turn! What’s The Dumbest Reason You’ve Been Pulled Over?
Top image: framestock/stock.adobe.com
This was in 2000? It was 3am in Matthews, NC and I was heading to set and Driving my slightly modified 88 fiero GT, headers, nitro, chip ETC. See the cop heading my way and watched as he quickly turned around and hit me with the blue lights. I pull over, he approaches the cars asks for license and registration, hand them over and he goes back to his car, comes back and asks me if I knew why he pulled me over? me, no clue? you were going 20 mph. Me uhm, that is the speed limit through town. you were driving suspiciously, no one goes the speed limit through downtown Matthews. next morning heading to set I went 45 mph through downtown. Just to be on the safe side.
You still in the Charlotte area? Looks like fun things happening at Charlotte AutoFair this year.
What fun things are happening? I see it covers a lot of land. (Chapel Hill)
Years ago, 2009 maybe I was pulled over by the Brentwood police. They were paving I65, it was like 12:30am, I had just gotten off work I decide to get off, didnt want tar on my car, took Franklin road home
Now anybody that lives in Nashville knows Brentwood has way too much $$$ So a well funded police force with hardly any crime. The officers are bored as hell. So I think 40 is a prudent speed on this 5 lane main road thru their fare town. I am later told that I was being inprudent and that the speed drops from 45 to 30 at the county line.
Cops light me up of course since Im the only one on the road. Keep in mind Im driving an immaculately clean black Cadillac Brougham, windows blacked out, basket wire wheels. Car is rolling probable cause lol.
Of course they must think that Im some black guy from the hood out to meance their fare town. Man was the cop(and his 3 buddies who showed up) dissapointed when I rolled down the window. All he saw was a tired, slightly irritated but polite balding fat white guy. Whos papers and story checked out, who didnt reek of weed and booze. He just said slow down in Brentwood, no ticket.
I was so tempted to say something like “lousy fishing tonight, guess Im not a keeper” but decided I didnt need to be on his shit list with that distinctive car and driving thru there all the time
Move to LA and you can crime away without getting a second look from the LAPD. Is your registration tag six years out of date? Not interested. Does your vehicle reek of weed and leak smoke like Spicoli’s van? Groove on, my brother. Are you piloting a 25 year old Dodge Durango with Mexican plates, four different bald tires, two mattresses tied to the roof with kite string, and a trailer carrying a 300 gallon barrel smoker with a live wood fire in it? Live your best life, citizen. Limo tint your windshield and front windows, take any left turn you please across double yellow lines, and race what you brung against friends and enemies on our beautiful palm tree lined boulevards.
Don’t try it on the freeways, though. CHP don’t play.
This one was entirely on me subconsciously overthinking a situation. I was rushing down I-78 to Newark Airport at night, running late to pick up visiting family. I came up behind a white Caprice with a light bar on top, doing the speed limit in the right lane. I moved over to the center lane and saw a red diagonal stripe on the door.
Here’s the subconscious overthinking: The red stripe suggested fire chief, and this Caprice looked too old to be in any police department’s current fleet. Also, locals rarely patrolled the Interstate; it was mostly troopers. I passed, and immediately he lit me up. The sarcasm was thick and luxurious when he came to my window.
First he asked if my dashboard lights were working. Then he pointed to the Caprice and asked, “Does that look like a sanitation vehicle?” He let me off with a warning, but not before allowing me a long wallow in my own stupidity, although I was smart enough not to say I thought he was a fire chief.
The dumbest reason I got pulled over was for speeding when I wasn’t in any actual hurry.
I was just driving home from work and was used to driving fast.
And I felt like a complete idiot for speeding in a circumstance where I wasn’t really in a hurry and didn’t need to be at a certain place by a certain time.
So now, if I’m not in a hurry, I will not go faster than slightly over the speed limit where I have zero chance of getting a ticket.
And thus, I haven’t had a speeding ticket for well over a decade.
Being a teenager with a lifted red pickup truck got me pulled over numerous times in the the upper middle class area I grew up in.
I was always let off “just this one time”. I’ve hated cops since then lol.
My best friend sold a Red lifted Toyota truck to his nephew back in the 90s. Said nephew got 3 speeding tickets driving it home (about 300 miles).
Because I looked like Drew Carey and they wanted an autograph
Tint. Technically, I was pulled over for being two (2) MPH over the limit in Misquamicut, RI when I was younger, but in reality it was the dark tint on the Jetta I just acquired. When the cop asked to look in the car, I figured that since we had nothing on us, letting him poke around would get me out of a ticket. Nope. Asshole wrote us a completely tourist trap ticket for 27 in a 25.
Early 90’s driving to college on Rt.6 West in Pa. in a well known speed trap and a cop pulls me over for speeding even though I was in the middle of a group of 5 or 6 cars.When asked why I was stopped he said “Because I was the lucky one today”.He wrote me a basic speeding ticket and sent me on my way.I fought the ticket and he never showed but a few years later the same cop was arrested and convicted of assaulting a Rabbi from NYC that he also stopped for speeding.Every dog has his day.
Picture this:
You are about to drive through an intersection when someone turns left in front of you and stops in the middle of the intersection as the road they were turning in to was blocked by cars.
You slam on the brakes, come within inches of t-boning the idiot who is now blocking the intersection (which you are now stuck in the middle of) and you can’t move due to multiple cars behind you. Intersection blocking idiot refuses to reverse/move their car. You see a whale of a cop about a block away standing outside of his car watching everything that happened. He is making no effort to assist with the situation.
When the intersection blocking idiot finally is able to clear the intersection (after multiple light cycles), you also clear the intersection as you are now blocking traffic.
Cop motions for you to pull over and proceeds to give you a ticket for ‘running a red light’. You protest and cop-porkula casually puts his hand on his gun and tells you to shut the fuck up.
That was my introduction to the Boston police department in the spring on 1996.
These are all great, especially SWG and the mic stand! Yeah, DT’s are ridiculous since there was no reason to pull him over
This one wasn’t really that dumb, but the outcome frustrates me. I was driving southbound on I-295 crossing from Massachusetts into Rhode Island. It was December 2019, which will become important a little later. I was home for Christmas break from medical school in Pennsylvania. I was driving my mother‘s Mercedes C300 with MA plates, and I was quite a bit over the speed limit, but I set the cruise control to the exact same speed as the car in front of me, which I think was a Camry with Rhode Island plates. Once again, I know I was technically in the wrong for going more than 10 over. Of course, the Rhode Island state trooper, waiting at the welcome sign, nabbed me instead of the RI-plated Toyota in front of me. The trooper was actually reasonable and wrote me a ticket for five over, and told me I could go to court and get it dismissed. The only problem is the court date happened to coincide exactly with a medical school shelf (standardized) exam. The officer nicely told me that if I can’t make that court date, I could call the number on the ticket and reschedule it. The problem is, the traffic tribunal court would not budge AT ALL even when I explained I’d be 500 miles away that day. As a result, even though it was just a minor traffic infraction, by paying the ticket, I got an unnecessary mark on my driving record that haunted me for years. Why did I mention it was in December 2019? Because if it had happened a couple of months later, I could’ve just attended court on Zoom and gotten it thrown out.
On the way to high school (1980s) giving some friends a ride. One of my buddies had found a toy gun when walking to my house. It was this big gray plastic space laser looking thing that when you pulled the trigger it would make pew pew noises and a big red light would flash on the top. We were stopped at a signal where two lanes would merge into one and there was another group of people we knew next to us, my buddy was pointing the gun at them and they were all laughing at it. Light turns green I take off hard to get ahead of them and a black and white going the other way does a quick u-turn with lights on. After pulling over, for what I assume is speeding, they use the speaker to tell us to stay in the car and after a minute or two three other cars come flying up from both directions to pen us in and all of them jump out of their cars and stand behind their doors. I have no idea what’s going on but then the original cop slowly walks up to the car and asks for the “gun”. My buddy gives it to him, he takes it and then pulls the trigger. When the lights start flashing and the sounds come out all the other cops start laughing and get into their cars to leave. To his credit the original guy came to me and said he saw it out of the corner of his eye so thought it was real, told me to watch the lead foot, and set us on our way. I’m sure he got roasted plenty back at the station that day.
I got pulled over and my car towed because of a burrito.
Okay, my car registration was 2 years expired. But on the day in question I was literally going to the DMV to renew it but stopped at a drive through to get a burrito when a cop pulled in and staked me out. As soon as I left the parking lot and got on a road he pulled me over and towed my car away.
$300 burritos and avocado toast are why millennials can’t afford home ownership!
Oh, as a pizza delivery driver I have so many. I think the best one is I got pulled over for a tail light being out. The cop ran my plates, checked my license and let me go with a warning. As he handed me my license so I could leave I pointed out that one of the headlights on his cruiser was out. He replied, ‘I know’. We just stared at each other for a couple of seconds, then he walked back to his car and I left.
Or maybe this one. I had just bought a convertible BMW – a 318 e36, naturally being summer I had the top down. I was delivering in a neighborhood known for drug sales, and as a delivery driver very familiar with the area, I knew all the short cuts to get out of there as quickly as possible, but they involved a lot of turns. I make it back to the store, and took another delivery in the completely opposite direction. I’m about a mile from the store and I get pulled over. Cop walks up and asks what I was doing in said previous neighborhood. I look down at my uniform, over at my pizza bag, and say, ‘Delivering pizza.’ Then he asks why I was driving so evasively in the previous neighborhood. I reply that it was the fastest way out of the neighborhood. He then asks to search the car. I refuse. (I had just bought the car, so wasn’t 100% sure it was clean.) He looked a bit surprised at my answer, so I tell them that I just provided a legitimate reason for being in the neighborhood. He then asks if he can call the store to confirm I really had a delivery there. I tell him sure. He goes back to his car, takes about 5 minutes, then comes back and tells me I can leave.
My dad got pulled over for robbing a bank and having Ohio License Plates.
Dad was driving through Kentucky in the late 40s. As he was heading north, the reports came over the radio that a bank robber was heading South in a Green Nash. Knowing my dad, he was traveling at “a high rate of speed”, but heading north in a Blue Ford. The cop was color blind, confused on which way was north and didn’t know the difference between a Nash and a Ford. Dad was pulled over and arrested.
When a second cop showed up and realized that dad was NOT the bank robber, he still wanted to detain him because his buddy had cuffed him. So, he asked dad where he was from. My dad replied “Cleveland” and got in trouble for having the wrong license plates since they say Ohio on them.
I once got pulled over so the cop could give my kid a voucher for a free ice cream
Motherfucker, how dumb do you have to be to think this is healing community relations?
Not me, but my Dad. At the time he had a 2013 GT500 and he was pulled over in town for going, and I quote, “At a pretty good clip.” The officer was never able to supply an actual speed that he was going. He just kept saying that it sounded fast. At the end of the day, my Dad just got a warning.
Stopped, but not pulled over:
Around ’96, I was visiting friends in the upper Midwest (I was in college in CA at the time). They took me to an Indian Casino. While inside, I started to feel weird, so I excused myself and went out to their car. At the time, I was newly Type 1 diabetic and struggled with it. I checked my blood the first time and didn’t get a clear reading. Waited a few minutes and checked again and had a very high sugar level, so I started to prepare a syringe with insulin. I botched the first needle on accident (try being a new Type 1 who was already petrified by needles!), so started another. I was able to get this one in my side…
At this point, there was a “tap-tap-tap” on the driver’s window and I looked over to see a gun barrel followed by a shouted: “Put down the drugs, and place your hands on the wheel.” As my eyes likely bulged from my head, I saw two others in the mirrors behind and along the passenger side. As a diabetic, when your levels are really low, or really high (in this case), cognitive function may be (*usually are) impaired. Reaction times are slowed and emotions don’t always present accurately.
I did put down my needle and placed my hands on the wheel as they yanked on the locked door handle… so as I kept my hands on the wheel, with a Code Brown on deck I’m sure, and yelled back: “May I open the window or unlock the door? I am a Type One Diabetic!”
There was a pause for a second or two, then a much more softly replied: “Yes please.”
I did so, they opened the doors, saw the insulin vials on the passenger seat, and with a sheepishly reluctant, “sorry, sir, enjoy the casino,” they vanished like a fart in the wind. Just disappeared into the parking garage like the interaction never happened. I was too stunned to do anything for many minutes but sit there and ponder what the hell just happened.
Those cops were ninjas too. Appeared and vanished and no big flashing lights anywhere. I went back inside after my heart eventually left my throat and asked to speak to the manager to find out what the F just happened (I was 20 I think, so not really equipped to demand anything with my intellect at the time, nor a high sugar level) and he walked out and couldn’t look me in the face. He stammered “Another guest reported someone using drugs in the garage so the police were called. So sorry sir. We’d like to give you $100-credit for gaming.”
As I didn’t end up crapping myself and still had clean clothes to wear, as a 20-year old in 1996, $100 was fantastic. (though, it probably didn’t pay for the years of life I lost!) My friends were thrilled, but still don’t think they really understand what happened. (Too bad dash cams weren’t a thing three decades ago!)
WTF. “Karens” long before the name originated. Stupidest interaction I’ve head with any official.
(ps – All other 6-7 times I’ve been pulled over, was legitimately speeding and paid the equivalent of the “traffic law center” to get points removed.)
My ex doesn’t retain B12, so we had to inject her regularly. One time, we were in a hotel and room service found used needles. They didn’t bother to look at the bottles of B12 next to them. The hotel kicked us out. We explained and showed everything. They wouldn’t hear a word of it
In all fairness, we had also been doing drugs, though
Anymore when travelling I usually request no room service unless I’m there longer than 4 days or so.
This was my first experience with ALPR, and also how flawed it can be. Shockingly, one of my cars had been off the road for a while. Once it was working again, they just issued new plates. I changed our the rear, but ran into trouble with the front. For reasons now lost to time, the front plate was secured with the Torx security screws, the ones that have the little pip in the center. I couldn’t find the little tool that had come with the screws. The fastest resolution seemed to be going to the auto parts store and buying another set of the screws.
Driving back home on a two lane road, I see the local PD coming the other way. After he passes, I see him pull a u-turn. I’m not speeding, so figure he was dispatched somewhere such that he needed to turn around. Remains behind me at red light at a major intersection, and at that point I knew if he followed me through he was going to light me up. Which he did. As I was suspecting this I was prepared and immediately pulled off in a parking lot.
Officer comes up and asks me if I know my front and rear plates don’t match. Well, funny you should ask… I show him the new front plate and explain the situation and tell him it’s pretty amazing that he noticed. He then explains that the ALPR alerted him on the front plate, so when he came behind me it was obviously different.
It alerted on my front plate because it matched on someone being sought in connection with a case in a different municipality. He asked me if I knew anyone there, or if my wife did, and it became clear that there was an error, either in someone’s notes or in data entry into the system.
We chatted a bit about the camera system in use and the capabilities of I, and he told me get the correct plate on as soon as possible, or I would keep getting stopped.
Got home, pull the tool out of the new screw set, and find out it’s a different size than the ones on my car. So had to order a set of security bits anyway…
Back in the 90’s I had a long drive from a small town to a city for college and work. My daily driver was a Jeep CJ5. One day I was headed through the pasturelands when a lowrider with mismatched body panels and loud music passed by me then suddenly pulled in front of me. Next thing I know there’s flashing police lights behind me. Cool. They are pulling these guys over for something. I pull to the right and onto the shoulder so the police can pass. The lowrider pulls over because they know they got busted. But the police pulls over behind me.
Officer walks over to me and asks for license and registration. I’m totally confused. The guys in the now-silent lowrider are all staring confused. The police looks at them in confusion. They drive away.
Officer says he pulled me over to doing 51mph in a 50mph zone.
I’m still completely confused, as his radio comes on and the dispatcher jokes, “Stop harassing motorists there’s a truck flipped in a ditch again over on the pasture.”
I get my papers back and he points at me and tells me he’ll be watching, then drives off in a hurry.
All this took less than 5 minutes.
I spent another 5 minutes in confusion on the side of the road before driving away.
David’s first story after sitting in a hotel parking lot for a bit – that hotel was probably a known location for drug transactions. But the cops don’t want to tell you that. You can get pulled over for having “too nice” of a car for the area too.
My very first cop interaction after getting my license and first car. Winter of 1993-94. Driving home in my rustbucket 1982 Datsun 200SX. I see one of the local municipals behind me about a mile from home, so I behave myself scrupulously all the way to my driveway. The officer stops in front of the driveway, blocking me in, so I get out and approach his rolled-down window.
“Can I help you officer?”
“Do you live here?”
“Yes”
“Lemme see your license.”
<Fishes license out of wallet and hands it over>
“Ok, TriangleRAD, you’re not who I thought you were.”
And he drove off. Remember the part where I’m driving a 1982 200SX? Even though it was only about 12 years old, this was Buffalo and rust had made sure this was the only one in town. There were maybe 3 or 4 in the whole county. To this day I wonder who I was mistaken for.
I also got pulled over at 12:30 AM in some random town in Central NY for not having a front plate on my ’88 Accord hatch. Understand that I never put the front plate on that car in four years of ownership. I hate front plates, especially on a sleek-nosed car like a 3rd-gen Accord. So I scratched and mangled the plate and threw it under the seat. Every time I was asked about it, I pulled it out and claimed it had just fallen off that day.
On this particular night I was with several friends, traveling home from a road trip to DC. A car full of college kids. We pulled into this sleepy town for gas and no one else was on the road. I saw the cop opposite us at a red light and I said to my friend, “That guy is bored. He’s going to pull us.” Sure enough after the light turned green he U-turned and hit the lights.
Walking up to the car, he asked about the front plate, which I produced from under the seat. Since I had already told him we were on our way home from Washington, I got a little cheeky and claimed the plate had fallen off on the Capital Beltway that morning.
The officer looked at me funny and said, “And you stopped to get it?”
I replied, “Yeah, sure. It wasn’t rush hour or anything.”
He sort of shook his head, handed my license back, and told us to have a good night and drive safe.
I got pulled over for a crooked license plate once.
My daughter got pulled over because the reflective coating on her license plate was worn. I deduced that a deputy sheriff was training a newbie on how to conduct traffic stops. She was given an admonishment to get new plates for the car.
Law enforcement needs to have probable cause to stop a vehicle. Worn reflective coating is not probable cause. In most states, anything hanging from the rearview mirror is probable cause; any LEO who wants to stop someone can find a justification to do so sooner or later.
Mine was at least funny. I was out enjoying the first warmish March day, bombing around the neighborhood on my scooter. A local roller pulled me over. He said I made a wide turn in front of him, and he wanted to make sure I wasn’t drunk. I think what actually happened, is the route I took in front of him was so nonsensical (because I was just aimlessly riding around the neighborhood) that it set off his WTF meter. He was behind me a ways when I peeled off to the right, then went left a couple blocks in the same direction we were both traveling while he was originally following me, then turned left again and crossed back over the road he was originally following me on in front of him.
Anyways, I told him not only was I not drunk, I don’t drink at all (which is true), and he agreed that I was indeed not drunk. He then asked to see my license and proof of insurance, and when I opened my wallet to pull those out, a small stack of gift cards fell out onto the pavement. Right on top was a Dunkin’ Donuts gift card. He looked down at that, and without missing a beat said, “No bribes.”
Motorcycle license and insurance confirmed, he told me to enjoy the rest of my ride.