All cars are Autopian cars in their own ways, of course, and simply loving your car makes it an Autopian car (and you, an Autopian).
But there are certainly some machines that resonate on what one might call an Autopian frequency, a vibration that comes from weirdness or earnestness or goofiness or an undefinable something else (or it may just be a missing wheel weight, you never know).
This evening, I’m wondering what vehicles you’ve owned or experienced in some way that you would consider “most Autopian.” And for inspiration, I’ve put the question to The Gang:
Mark Tucker
My most Autopian car, hmm … probably the 1991 Mazda Miata that I owned before my MG. It had 205,000 miles on it when I got it, and 250-something when I sold it. I paid $2,000 for it, with a factory hardtop and an extra set of wheels.
I sold the hardtop for $900, the extra wheels for $100, and eventually sold the car for $2,500. Had the entire car apart at one time or another, except for the engine and gearbox internals. It was my daily driver for eight summers, and my only car for two years. Stock except for a Hard Dog Fabrication roll bar, 2001 Special Edition Miata leather seats, and a MOMO Montecarlo steering wheel. I still kinda miss it.
Mercedes Streeter
My most Autopian car is my 2012 Smart Fortwo Passion Coupe. This car continues to serve as proof to me that dreams can come true. Further, this is the car that I used to prove to myself that I am capable of anything. Back when I was dirt poor, I used this car to tow motorcycle trailers some 20,000 miles and I’ve even driven it for a few thousand miles off-road.
Like me, this car has done things nobody ever thought it could achieve. I also have nearly two decades of encyclopedic knowledge mostly uselessly floating around my head. Cars will come and go in my fleet, but this Smart, as well as its five other comrades, will probably be with me until the day I die. I own far weirder and far more historically significant cars, but only Smarts are so distinctly … me.
Griffin Riley
My most Autopian car was my first car, a Scion xB. My Dad loved it, it took me to many a party and date, and it had an engine and sound system even folks in the early aughts would pity.
Second-most-Autopian was the Ford Bronco II we repaired, which I learned stick on. Dad forced me to sell it cuz he didn’t want me to flip on the highways between Tucson and Phoenix. [Ed Note: Stupid Dads and their love, so annoying! – Pete]
Adrian Clarke
Matt has asked us about the most Autopian car we have owned. As everyone is probably sick of hearing by now, I have a highly strung Italian car that has left me stranded a couple times. That’s probably my most Autopian car.
But I think my second most Autopian car would be my old Land Rover 110 Defender. 1990 G-reg, bought sight unseen from eBay for about £1200 (that will tell you how long ago it was). Decidedly non-turbo diesel, no power steering either. Ran out of breath at about 65 with the off-road tires singing. A one hour drive gave you a four hour headache. I lived in the Docklands. Did I need a Defender? Nope. Did I want one? You bet your right elbow banging on the driver’s door I did. Only reluctantly sold it because I wanted a motorbike to learn to ride on.
Stephen Walter Gossin
I suppose my Most Autopian Car would be the ’66 Citroen 2CV that’s currently sitting in my driveway. If you recall, I picked this car up last summer while helping Mercedes score her dream ’46 Plymouth from the same seller.
Interestingly enough, I find it to be a cool car and wicked unique, but it just doesn’t move my soul as much as my ’03 Stratus Coupe does. I’ll be replacing the soft top & the bullet-riddled glass windows (flat glass!) and getting it ready for sale in the upcoming weeks.
Torch
My most Autopian car may have been my Reliant Scimitar; technically strange (fiberglass body, front-mid engine, first split folding rear seats), famously owned by a princess with a horse fetish, built by a company that’s mostly thought of as a joke, shooting brake, weird gearbox (overdrive on rear drive, so you have 3 1/2 gear and a 5th gear) and just deeply, satisfyingly weird. Quick, too!
David
My most Autopian car was Project Cactus, a steaming heap that started out as a parts car for my main project, which I found out was in no shape to be a “main project” of any sort. The amount of work to put that thing together in a single month was shocking, but in the end, it became an Australian hero.
62 Ford Falcon. Bought in 1977 for $150. Five cylinders worked. After two years, traded on Honda Civic CVCC wagon, got $300 trade in. The Honda dealer asked me why it went thump thump when it ran. Told him I’m not a mechanic but it never gave me a problem.
I had a del Sol, probably that. If it fits, it sits.
My fave Autopian-esque car was the 1972 BMW 2002. Bought it for $900 off a friend. It had been parked under a eucalyptus tree and the paint was half wrecked and blotchy. Then it got hit and run in the left rear while parked on the street. Looked pretty crappy, but it was a fun little car, used it as a daily driver for years, then sold it cheap when it got a cracked head to someone who had a couple 2002s already, they got it running eventually. Had fun going to pick and pull your own junkyards for it too. Most “exciting” drive was up to Reno in a snowstorm, snow collecting on the headlights made things dimmer and dimmer. And the heater wasn’t all that great. Would love to have one again, but not in the budget for what they go for these days.
Other fun/funky cars, 1993 Honda Del Sol, Gen 1 2003 Honda Insight, 1969 VW Bus.
Out of all the shitboxes I’ve owned (all of them except the Dart and current daily), I think the most Autopian one would have to be the one (Audi Fox) associated w/ my funniest car story (which I’ve shared here before and will add at the bottom) even though it was an auto. 2nd would be the 84 Jetta, that was so fun to drive! I’m going to include all the cars I’ve owned and I was wondering if anyone wants to vote/comment on WHICH ONE YOU THINK IS THE MOST AUTOPIAN:
1)1981 Chevy Citation (WORST EVER)
2)1987 Toyota Camry (Great car!)
3)1986 Pontiac Sunbird (Liftback!)
4)1976 Audi Fox Wagon (AUTOPIAN)
5)1983 VW Rabbit 5spd (Fun but had blown head gasket)
6)1984 VW Jetta 5spd (Fun!)
7)1976 Dodge Dart (Nice, not shitbox)
8)1986 Honda Accord 5spd 4dr (Fun!)
9)1989 Honda Accord 5spd 2dr (Fun!)
10)2002 Nissan Sentra 5spd (Had recalls)
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11)2014 Honda Accord LX
(Not a shitbox, 1st car w/ A/C!)
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My funniest car story is when I had a 70’s Audi Fox wagon I got for $100 total. The accelerator cable broke so I hooked some small rope up to the throttle from the engine, out the hood, through the driver’s window and pulled it to accelerate. I drove it home on back roads the whole way and the brakes weren’t very good either…6 months later I sold it to the junkyard for $25 so it was a $75 car
My current Saab 900, which speaks for itself.
Previously I drove my mom’s 88 Plymouth Voyager. Nothing in it was powered. No tape deck, no power locks, no power windows – only automatic thing was the transmission.
1971 Peugeot 504 sedan (gas.) Bought new in Naples Italy (US Spec – funny it came with 4 yellow sealed beams rather than the one piece trapezoids,) the only option was the metallic silver paint. We drove it all over Europe from 1970 thru ’74. Great little car.
1989 Nissan Maxima, fully loaded. Bought it from a friend who said it was his grandfather’s car for $300 in 2019. It had everything; sonar suspension, climate control, digital dashboard with the windshield HUD, the BOSE sound system, the transmission controller that changed profiles based on how you drove.
NONE of that worked. Swapped the front harness and put an analog gauge cluster back in it and with a new automatic transmission controller it ran like a champ… Most of the time. Every once in a while it would just refuse to stay running unless you held your foot on the gas. Managed to get it to pass TX state safety inspection like that too, much to the dismay of the friends I took it to who ran the shop.
Luck would have it and the local pick n’ pull yard got three of them around the same time so I was able to pillage parts for almost nothing. Never got the suspension working but at least the cabin fan worked, the radio worked, and the gauges did too.
It was a fun summer project fixing it all up, the interior was spotless. Found out it was my friend’s grandfather’s car all right… That he got as payment for a construction job and never actually drove it or cared about it. Sold it for $1500 right before COVID hit and I still see it rolling around today.
Well if we’re going off of what staff has owned, I’ve owned several Tracy specials (XJ Cherokee, SJ Cherokee, Tracker), a 90 F250, (similar to Torch’s), and a 95 Chevrolet like that Forest Service one that one of the contributors owns. I think of pure autopian-ness it could go to my Grand Marquis, my Volt, or to my Zooki Sidekick. The sidekick is a goofy alternative to the serious bizness 4×4’s that are all too common, the Volt is an engineering marvel (but perhaps too new) and the Grand Marquis is hilarious, because the original owner kitted it out with every single possible option, including handling and performance packages, which are pretty absurd on a car that is the size of the Queen Mary.
In terms of experienced behind the wheel, I feel like it’s the 1971 FJ-40 Land Cruiser my dad had. First (but not last) 3-on-the-tree manual I drove. In terms of owned, probably the 1990 Mazda B2600i. David Tracy levels of rust, but always started and best freaking winter use vehicle I ever experienced.
My “Most Autopian” was my 1984 BMW 533i. It was my entry into the world of highly depreciated German cars. It married the E28 body with a wonderful free-revving NA 6-cylinder engine, good fuel injection and a catalytic converter instead of the woeful eta-series engine in the 528e with its performance-choking thermal reactor emissions control system. Before the E28 series M5, the 533i was the best E28 available in the USA. I found mine with a for sale sign in 1998 or ’99.
Of course, it also had the Michelin TRX wheels and tires, so new rims were required. No hydraulic lifters, so valve lash had to be checked/adjusted every 10 to 15k miles, but it was an easy job because the engine bay wasn’t overcrowded. Terrible wheel hop on heavy braking until I swapped out the front end bushings. New clutch master and slave after I had one of those “clutch pedal on the floor” mornings. New exhaust from cat back thanks to corrosion.
But when it was sorted out, it was a joy for my long commute from one side of Denver to the other. Unfortunately, I had to street park it and it was destroyed in a hit-and-run while I was out of town. Insurance totaled it, which was the right choice. The roundel from the trunk is now stuck to my fridge with some magnets.
Although there are other contenders, I’d have to place my 1999 NB Miata SE at the top of the list. Manufactured in October 1997 for the 1999 model year, it was an early minimally defective build, with a bad weld in the exhaust resonator, a bad transistor in the cruise control ECM, and a mean ghost in the O2 sensor circuit – all relatively easy fixes. As a member of a Miata club, with everything stock, I once took a 15 MPH curve at 50 MPH.
I finally had to sell it because I was getting too old to exit the car and retain my dignity. Also, as a daily driver, sandwiched between two semis in the rain, the rate at which my hair was graying was greatly accelerated. The front discs lacked the venting added to the 2000 models.
Ooh, tough call. Probably a gold MK1 Granada (the good, euro one, like in the Sweeney, not the shit American one) with matching gold velour seats bought for a song in the early 90s by a bunch of us scruffy punks andd hippies as a communal hooptie. I still miss that car and the adventures we had in it. Bap-badada, bap-badada, bap-bap-bada-ba-daaaaaa! Aaah, good times.
Hmmm. As I started being called “dad” at the moment I might have had time/money/freedom to do serious car things(19), I haven’t owned much anything Autopian. But when I was a kid I helped my Very Rich Uncle(tm) rebuild first an Auburn Speedster, and then a Series III Stutz Blackhawk. The Blackhawk was easier, in part because I’d helped my bio-dad rebuild his 1970 Grand Prix the year before.
I had a 1966 AMC Rambler station wagon with hydraulics. I even did a custom graffiti paint job.
My FIL asked me to go pick up a car for him from a garage a few miles away. It’s December in Ohio, right around freezing. All I know is that the key is in the car.
I show up, open the garage, and it’s a right-hand drive Morgan. Manual, No top. It will barely start and won’t idle. Oh, and I’m 6’4″ so I look like a damn shriner, my head literally sticks up above the windscreen. Hair in the wind (did I mention it’s about 0c out?) I can barely move my feet in the pedal box it’s so small. Trying to heel tow as I have to keep enough throttle that it doesn’t stall. Shifting lefty, eyes watering I almost miss my turn. A hard application of brakes informs me that the brakes are significantly unbalance as the card veers violently to the left into oncoming traffic. Tires are so low on pressure (because of the cold) that the thing leans like a drunk as I decide to go ahead and make the left turn from the wrong side of the road.
I can drive nearly anything but that thing gave me a run for my money.
It’s a beautiful car. Off white with a leather bonnet strap. But it’s incredibly finnicky, needs a lot of attention on the regular, and makes me reconsider my usually unwavering love of driving old cars.