My original phrasing for today’s Autopian Asks question was “What Car Most Wants To Kill You,” to which Mark Tucker (your friendly neighborhood Shitbox Showdown scribe) answered “Christine,” the possessed 1958 Plymouth Fury that causes so much mayhem in Stephen King’s famous novel and John Carpenter’s 1983 hot-rod horror adaption of the same, Janice. (No, both book and film were called Christine. I just wanted to see if you were paying attention). Now, Christine surely did some killing, but you had to cross Christine in order to become a target. So I would say the car most likely to kill you (in the spirit of Mark’s interpretation of the question) is The Car from the film The Car – which was also possessed, making me wonder if it’s not time we had a car-exorcism movie. A couple of priests screaming at an Austin Healey for two hours in an effort to get demons out of the electrical system? I’d watch.
OK, let’s get back on track. What I was looking for with my original Q was cars that are dangerous to you as a driver, not dangerous to you as a teenager in a 70s or 80s B-movie – which is probably why David sagely reworded the question. But still, Christine works. Or at least a 1958 Plymouth Fury works as a most dangerous car, as does virtually anything from the era of metal dashboards, optional seatbelts, and non-telescoping steering columns. Of course, you need to get into an accident before any of that stuff matters, and if you’re driving like a person making any effort to stay alive, a vintage machine like the big Fury isn’t likely to bite you.
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As for cars that do seem hell-bent on putting drivers into ditches, around poles, and up against Jersey barriers, two big offenders come to my mind: Porsche 911s, particularly of the air-cooled variety through the mid-70s at the very least, and the original Dodge Viper (or all of them, but especially the OG). As anyone who professes to know cars will tell you, those 911s liked to get very loose when lifting off the gas mid-corner, and many a Porsche pilot looped their machines as they learned this the hard way (Not this guy in the first episode of CHiPs though – bro can drive). And the Dodge Viper, well … Viper gonna Viper. Maybe you just burn the bejeezus out of your calves on the side pipes, maybe you spin on cold tires into oncoming traffic, maybe you need to get a foot full of brakes and torpedo into the median, ‘cuz the Viper landed in showrooms with ten cylinders and zero antilock brakes (or any other electronic stability doodads).
Now you tell us: What’s The Most Dangerous Car To Drive?
Top graphic image: Christine/Columbia Pictures
My vote would be for any of the truly manic late-model TVRs with the Speed Six and Speed 12 engines. They make a Viper seem *tame* by literally ALL accounts. Zero nannies, waaaay too much power, super twitchy steering and handling, and usually driven on slippery British roads. And TVR build quality, so who knows when some really important bit would fall off on the road and cause a moment.
The TVR Tuscan Speed Six is one of the scariest cars I’ve ever driven. ^^post is 100% accurate.
But those ITBs singing… oh it’s glorious right up until it isn’t
Reliant Robin/ Polaris Slingshot/ Morgan 3 Wheeler
If you go around a curve forgetting you’re not in a normal car (which might be easier than you think because the missing wheel is often behind you) your fate will be more or less sealed.
Likewise, if you love to test the limits and you’re a “let’s see what this thing can do” type of person, you’ll find that the limit is the exact point at which the car tries to kill you.