My original phrasing for today’s Autopian Asks question was “What Car Most Wants To Kill You,” to which Mark Tucker (your friendly neighborhood Shitbox Showdown scribe) answered “Christine,” the possessed 1958 Plymouth Fury that causes so much mayhem in Stephen King’s famous novel and John Carpenter’s 1983 hot-rod horror adaption of the same, Janice. (No, both book and film were called Christine. I just wanted to see if you were paying attention). Now, Christine surely did some killing, but you had to cross Christine in order to become a target. So I would say the car most likely to kill you (in the spirit of Mark’s interpretation of the question) is The Car from the film The Car – which was also possessed, making me wonder if it’s not time we had a car-exorcism movie. A couple of priests screaming at an Austin Healey for two hours in an effort to get demons out of the electrical system? I’d watch.
OK, let’s get back on track. What I was looking for with my original Q was cars that are dangerous to you as a driver, not dangerous to you as a teenager in a 70s or 80s B-movie – which is probably why David sagely reworded the question. But still, Christine works. Or at least a 1958 Plymouth Fury works as a most dangerous car, as does virtually anything from the era of metal dashboards, optional seatbelts, and non-telescoping steering columns. Of course, you need to get into an accident before any of that stuff matters, and if you’re driving like a person making any effort to stay alive, a vintage machine like the big Fury isn’t likely to bite you.
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As for cars that do seem hell-bent on putting drivers into ditches, around poles, and up against Jersey barriers, two big offenders come to my mind: Porsche 911s, particularly of the air-cooled variety through the mid-70s at the very least, and the original Dodge Viper (or all of them, but especially the OG). As anyone who professes to know cars will tell you, those 911s liked to get very loose when lifting off the gas mid-corner, and many a Porsche pilot looped their machines as they learned this the hard way (Not this guy in the first episode of CHiPs though – bro can drive). And the Dodge Viper, well … Viper gonna Viper. Maybe you just burn the bejeezus out of your calves on the side pipes, maybe you spin on cold tires into oncoming traffic, maybe you need to get a foot full of brakes and torpedo into the median, ‘cuz the Viper landed in showrooms with ten cylinders and zero antilock brakes (or any other electronic stability doodads).
Now you tell us: What’s The Most Dangerous Car To Drive?
Top graphic image: Christine/Columbia Pictures
Anything built with the technologically amazing Lucas Electrics… that wonderful warm feeling you got moments after turning the ignition key wasn’t due to a fantasically efficient heater, it was just the wiring loom heating up…
Random fleet vehicles. Doesn’t matter what they are, if it’s in a fleet not managed by some huge company with strict regulations and the person in charge doesn’t really care, its maintenance is the first thing targeted by budget cuts. My sister had to ride in a passenger van owned by her college, which had horrifically poor maintenance standards for their vehicles… the coolant system and two tires exploded during the trip, nearly causing the vehicle to lose control. This was a year or two ago, one of the tires that burst was from 2010 and the other was from 2000. Yes, this college thought putting students in a van with 20+ year-old tires for a road trip was okay… There was talk of suing, but nobody ended up wanting to put in the effort and money since nobody actually got hurt (thankfully). By now, the college changed their catering and maintenance contractors anyway, so hopefully now they’re not as negligent? Still don’t trust their vans. Fleet vehicles are sketchy.
Of all the cars I have personally driven, I found the Citroen 2CV to be the most scary.
EDIT: I notice 2 types of post here, Standard not broken cars that are just bad and cars that are broken versions of otherwise ok cars.
In that case I can also add a Ford Escort that was chopped in when I owned my workshop, It pulls to the left was the comment left by the customer and as is common on these Iimagined the wishbone bushes. So I took it a test drive, at about 25mph the steering wheel was violently pulled from my hands and the car swerved into the kerb (UK so drive on left), So maybe a diff fault ? I reversed it back the way I came and decided just to scrap it, It was not worth the effort. Glad I didn’t hit any parked cars.
Another one, My dad once had the throttle on his automatic V12 Jaguar stick open. I imagine that was a bit scary.
We had another trade in that had poor brakes, Peugeot 405 Diesel. It actually had no brakes at all, The vacuum pump had failed, A new diaphragm fixed it right up but it was a scary test drive.
The 2 Cs – corvette and Camaro. Rented a Camaro in the 2010s, it was like driving a submarine, the visibility was so bad.
Thank you, finally someone saying it
I rented a camaro in 2013 and it was scary.
80s era Japanese SUV, short wheelbase and narrow as heck. Rollover kings.
1) Any vehicle I ever owned in my 20s when I had zero sense and even less money. Pretty sure maintenence was not a word in my vocabulary at the time.
2) Most former rentals.
An aging 26-foot U-Haul driven in bad weather by someone who’s never driven anything bigger than a Fiat 500.
My vote would be for any of the truly manic late-model TVRs with the Speed Six and Speed 12 engines. They make a Viper seem *tame* by literally ALL accounts. Zero nannies, waaaay too much power, super twitchy steering and handling, and usually driven on slippery British roads. And TVR build quality, so who knows when some really important bit would fall off on the road and cause a moment.
The TVR Tuscan Speed Six is one of the scariest cars I’ve ever driven. ^^post is 100% accurate.
But those ITBs singing… oh it’s glorious right up until it isn’t
I agree, I have one,a Cerbera.It makes no sense at all. ever. But it not even close to the scariest, to keep with the British Lunacy, a Bentley Turbo (not the R.or S) the first ones are really scary. But, to really really scare yourself, and suddenly discover that you might not be atheist after all the McLaren F1 is truly terrifying. Up to 70/80 mph in third gear they are normal(ish) the thing is, being human, you are going to overtake that car in front. Drop to second, press to go pedal and shift up the box. On a slippery British road. No nannies, 70 to 170 in four seconds the sudden realization that you are driving a car called an F1 but you are not actually a top level racing driver and you on the A30. I am still alive, the car is in a rich persons shed.
Reliant Robin/ Polaris Slingshot/ Morgan 3 Wheeler
If you go around a curve forgetting you’re not in a normal car (which might be easier than you think because the missing wheel is often behind you) your fate will be more or less sealed.
Likewise, if you love to test the limits and you’re a “let’s see what this thing can do” type of person, you’ll find that the limit is the exact point at which the car tries to kill you.