“Beggars can’t be choosers,” they say, and they say it’s because it’s generally pretty true. It’s extra-definitely true when you’re the last person to make it to the rental car counter after arriving in town for the big convention or whatever, and you simply must make it to the hotel/meeting/booth/inlaws’ house when you said you would. Oh, you signed up for a nicer-quality midsizer? Well, looks like you’re settling for whatever’s left on the Frugal Humiliator list. “Yes, I’ll take it, sighhhhhhhh.”
The Bishop inspired today’s Autopian Asks after telling the tale of how he wound up with a Plasma Purple (yes, that’s the actual name) Mitsubishi Mirage. Now, I think this is a good color, and I would happily tool around in that little cheapster while I waited for my daily to get back from the collision center. But poor Bish was in town to shuttle important clients around, so, yeah – not the greatest pick. “At least it didn’t look like we were a wasteful company,” said The Bishop, looking on the side of things as bright as the Mitsu’s paint.
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Wrencher extraordinaire Stephen Walter Gossin chimed in with this tale. “Don’t meet your heroes,” they say, and well…
I was in Phoenix for a conference in 2013 and was provided a rental to get to the event, to the hotel and back to the airport. Enterprise said I could pick anything I wanted that they had on the lot per the reservation type, so I figured that it was time to finally meet my hero. I had been enamored by the Dodge Challenger since it showed up in 2008 and this was going to be my first chance to drive one and to experience its majesty and badassery. I was wicked, wicked pumped. I was given a V6 Challenger and had to do my best throughout the rest of that week to hide my disappointment that it was just another V6 LX chassis offering, not too dissimilar from the Charger and 300. It was fine, it looked good, and drove great, but there was nothing special there. My “future dream” attempt of saving up $30K for one ceased funding that week.
And this next rental escapade comes from Griffin Rilely, freshly returned from Colombia, where he was much more in love with the cars there than he was this gem:
This past December, my mom moved to Houston and we decided to make it a long family road trip across the country. We put in the order to rent a van, and the day we were heading out, we got a call from the rental service that “we actually don’t have a van for you, but we have something of comparable size.” What we had was a Cadillac XT6, a simple three-row SUV, nowhere near enough room for two cats and four people who packed up their whole lives to move thousands of miles away. We also got a nail in a tire at one point, called customer service who told us there was a big SUV in a town 100 miles away (out of the way mind you), and when we pulled up, local rental representative said they had no such request for a vehicle transfer and only had four door sedans for us. Shitty couple of days driving that thing.
Your turn: What’s The Worst Car A Rental Company Has Forced Upon You?
Top graphic image: Mitsubishi
My story is kinda like Bishop’s. It wasn’t a bad car, just not really appropriate for the situation.
I flew, and they were out of the generic compact I had reserved, so they offered me a “manager’s special” upgrade for only $5 more per day! What a deal!
And that’s how I ended up driving a rented bright yellow Mustang convertible in my grandmother’s funeral procession.
In the dim and distant past of 1980s in London we got a Hyundai Pony automatic for one day. Fortunately the Austin Metro we got for rhe rest of the trip was a fun little go-kart.
Nothing mind-blowing; just one experience of note.
My ’97 Econoline got broken into in 2019, and Enterprise was covered with my insurance, so I went over there. They were out of everything…except crew cab F-250s.
I’ll forever say: if the van drove like a battleship, well, the pickup was an aircraft carrier. Further reinforced in my mind that trucks are oversized and that I think poorly of people who buy trucks and don’t need/use them, although of course that’s difficult to judge (what if I just saw them driving that on the one day a year they’re not towing or hauling something?).
Was very nervous driving that although nothing bad ended up happening. But it made the van feel so much smaller.
Yep. A crew cab F250 is Nimitz class. I borrow one on occasion and park in the way back .
I bought a 2002 Envoy XL. It had several problems out the gate, and parts were on backorder; The dealer said that GM authorized a rental for me.
I asked “What is it?”
They said “It’s a Ford Escort”.
I thought they were joking; why would I get a Ford rental from GM, and a shitty little one, when I just spent $35k on an Envoy XL?
So I played along, and I said “oh, does it have leather, a CD player, heated seats?”
The guy said “No, I don’t think so…”
I went to drop my car off, and I asked for the rental, and he gave me the keys to the saddest white Ford Escort/ashtray you’ve ever seen. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it was the shop vehicle used to ferry parts.
I took it, and I had to go across the state for a meeting, and I was supremely annoyed.
I told my wife, and as pissed as I was, she was on FIRE.
She worked her magic, and they ended up swapping the Escort for a new Grand Am, which was fun, but still….
Back in the ’90’s, my business rentals always seemed to end up being base level Pontiac Grand Ams. Anemic cars, crappy build quality, utterly devoid of anything that would make the driving experience comfortable or interesting. I will say, though, that they generally got me from the airport to the hotel.
On my first trip to Brazil in 2004, after proposing to my now wife, I thought it would be fun to get some drive-time in. We were at the Hotel Atlántico in Copacabana and found a local rental place that would drop the car off at the hotel.
Enter the little red Gol, a mildly dented up 1.0L VW marvel that would have been a good time had it ran correctly. For the next three days, that thing would just randomly shut down for no reason. A quick clutch-pop and we’d be running again. My future-wife’s family that was riding with us thought I didn’t know how to drive stick. It also used a quart of oil roughly every 300km or so. It did however somehow manage to complete a three-hour trip out to a beach house and back with four adults and two kids riding along, so no-harm no-foul.
As an added bonus, we were later informed that we had driven near an area where “Comando Vermelho (Red Command)” was known to be active, and apparently they wouldn’t have liked seeing our red car too well.
Huh. I’m amazed at the stories being told here. I’ve probably rented cars close to the triple digits and have never had an issue. I’ve managed some crazy free upgrades when they said no cars in my reservation class were available even during high rental times. Maybe its my tone or the way folks reacts or something? Dunno.
I have seen folks at rental cars get unwarranted verbal abuse when things go wrong. You are not going to get any favours doing that. They have a crappy job and don’t deserve any abuse. I find being friendly and nice goes a long way to getting good service and a nice car.
I’ll leave folks with this one. During one Christmas I was flying and folks in front of me were being told the flight had been double booked and they would not be able to get a boarding pass. As in probably 10+ folks in front of me were yelling and cussing and being general jerks. It was pretty obvious that I was not getting on the flight so I just rolled with it.
I walked up to the counter and started talking with the attendant like a human being – talked nicely and apologized that folks were being jerks. Noticed she was pregnant and asked when she was expecting. Found out it was her first child and she was very excited and nervous. I congratulated her profusely for this exciting news. I also asked politely what I had to do to get on a later flight as it seemed rather pointless to get mad. You know what she did? She smiled, handed me a ticket with an upgrade on the fight where lots of folks in front of me were denied a ticket.
I should emphasize this was when I was a poor university student with nothing like miles status. Moral of story? Be nice and kind to the folks you are dealing with even when the situation sucks. It is the right thing to do and it seems to have worked well for me over the years.
I’d be curious to know when that happened. I used to have a fair number of experiences like that in the ’90s and early aughts, but not any more. I think the gate agents and flight attendants were much more free to do stuff like that back then. It’s my impression that the airlines usually don’t allow that sort of thing anymore (which sucks).
The flight experience happened in the mid-90s. But it always stuck with me to be nice to the folks behind the counter. Any issues typically have nothing to with them – they just get the wrath of angry people. If the flight is full, getting upgrades is much harder with all the points/cards/status things airlines now have to juggle. Carriage rates are now 85%+ now vs 65% even 10 years ago.
I do believe car rentals have a lot of leeway even now. Just before the pandemic I went to Orlando/Disneyworld for my birthday. As I only needed a car to drive to and from Disneyworld (taking a shuttle that stops at a gazillion other hotels is not something I like) I got the absolute cheapest rental I could. I was talking with the car rental person and asking how there day was going and just being nice in general. Due to my interaction they asked what I was in town for (no kids in tow just the wife and I) and I grinned saying I was going to Disneyworld. I did not ask for anything, we just laughed about how silly/fun what I was doing in Orlando. This was during what high season for Disneyworld.
I get the keys to the rental… go out. And I was given a very nice Ford Mustang with a v8. It was fully optioned including those silly puddle lights with a picture of the Mustang projected on the ground.
We were staying at the Hilton and the valet grabbed my keys and immediately commented on my car. They were excited to check it out. They ended up parking it with all the fancy cars right at the hotel entrance for everyone to see. It was the silliest rental for what we used it for, but it was still awesome.
Being nice is free to do. I don’t expect anything in return… I just hope to make someone’s day better. It is amazing how doing kind is often repaid in kind.
Yep, was in Chicago Midway a few years ago. Fight cancelled, next overbooked and likely delayed. I said, what do you have tomorrow? Got a 9am flight, and went straight to the hotel shuttle. Checked in and had drinks and a nice dinner (on company dime).
Had something vaguely similar happen a few years ago after an unexpected stay in a Cozumel, Mexico hospital (which was just fine and so much cheaper than a US hospital even though it was the “turista” hospital) . The pilots ran out of duty hours due to thunderstorms over Dallas, so no flight that day. A lot of people got shuffled off onto buses for Cancun. My family along with a few others were put up in an all inclusive resort for a night on the airline’s dime. That was so welcome after the hospital! Thankfully the rest of the trip home was smooth.
PT Cruiser automatic in San Francisco. Felt like it had a tire or suspension issue right out of the garage at SFO, so I turned around in the first mile and swapped it for whatever anonymous GM mid-sized sedan they had available (a Pontiac G6, maybe).
I generally don’t care too much about what rental car I’m assigned regardless of how crappy it is or its reputation says it is. But once on a trip to LA, I was given a yellow ~2016 Kia Rio. The car itself was fine, but I was quite self-conscious about Angelinos thinking I had actively purchased a basic economy car in a “look-at-me!!!” color.
The other story that comes to mind has nothing to do with the car and everything to do with what the rental agency took me for. We were in Switzerland renting from Europcar. On their reservations website, you can indicate if you want a manual or automatic transmission in addition to the size of car. Knowing we would be driving on some twisty alpine roads and possessing the knowledge to drive stick, I selected “manual” and “compact” expecting something like a manual VW Polo. The rental agency, who I have to imagine was stereotyping me as an American, gave me an automatic Nissan Quashqai SUV (Rogue Sport in the US). And there were literally no other options because, as we were traveling into Switzerland from Italy by train, I determined it would be most efficient to find the closest rental agency to the border, which happened to be a kiosk inside of a Volkswagen Commercial van dealership that must not see much business. The agent drove the car there from out of town and I have no idea how she returned to where she came from or where that might be.
When ever I travel to Europe for work, I always make sure to rent the cheapest manual car available, that always guarantees that they will likely give me a manual. Due to my company having some killer contract with Avis, I in usually get a free upgrade to the next class of car and due to said oddly good status, I always specify a manual and get one. I once showed up to a rental counter in France and was told due to my status (I am not a frequent traveler), that I could choose any car in the lot. I asked for something that had a manual and Navigation. Ended up in a surprisingly awesome Opel Mokka, which happens to be the Opel version of the Chevy Trax, only it had a very peppy Turbo diesel and a 6 speed that made more power than any American market Trax.
I haven’t had any real duds, but two specific hateful features of two specific cars stand out in my memory.
First, a Toyota Hilux D4D pickup in Curacao. Diesel, 5-speed, nice truck to drive. Did well on the dirt roads getting to dive sites all around the island. BUT, the aftermarket alarm kept going off whenever it felt like it. Parked, driving, in the middle of traffic… it didn’t care. We called the rental company and they told us to just pull the fuse. (Gotta love easy-going island folks.) OK, but that meant the key fob didn’t work, so I had to lock and unlock it with the key for the rest of the week. But at least the alarm shut up.
Second, a 2023 Ford Escape in Vegas. I wasn’t too fond of it in general, but I grew to HATE one “feature” of it, to the point it had me screaming profanities at it in traffic: the rotary dial “shifter.” I missed a turn, tried to make a U-turn, and discovered the thing had the turning radius of a tanker truck. Had to back up and correct. Overshot the goddamn dial and put it in Park. Overshot again, and hit Neutral. By the time I got the damn thing pointed in the right direction, cars had stacked up in the oncoming lanes, and were honking at me. I don’t know exactly what epithets I let loose on Ford engineers at that moment, but I’m sure they were unflattering.
Does a U Haul count for this? If so, the truck I rented to move that couldn’t go above 54 mph without pegging the engine temp gauge in the red, even with the heat on full (in June). Added at least an hour each way on what should have been an easy round trip.
Otherwise, the Hyundai Sonata I got in Mexico. It was fine, but I’d reserved a soft top Wrangler, which would have been way more fun. And while they were confirming that they had no other convertibles, I had to watch the couple in front of me get the Fiat 500 Abarth with the roll up soft roof which I was asking for instead. The trip was still great, but the Abarth (or the original Jeep) would have made the driving much more fun.
I was about to board a short 90-minute flight home when the cancellation notification came through. Not just for my flight but all Delta flights due to a computer issue. There was actually a train headed home, and the station was only about 15 minutes away, but the last train was departing in 10. So I, and a hoard of others, ran down to the rental car counter.
Beggers can’t be choosers, and I ended up with a Nissan Versa sedan. I like small cars and have taken my Miata on long road trips without any issues. The Versa was truly a torture chamber. It hated going faster than 60, the seats were terrible, and the stereo sounded like a radio that ran on 9v batteries. It wandered around and demanded constant course corrections for any pavement abnormality. It was noisy in an exhausting way, with the little engine and bad stereo doing some sort of amateur throat-singing impersonation.
I dropped it off at my home airport after seven hours on the road and told the guy at the desk they should burn it. I have done that drive many times in cars ranging from my Miata to a ’66 Plymouth, Ford Fiesta, and a ’84 VW. The Versa was so much worse than all of them; I still shudder when I see one on the road.
Miata is always the answer.
I also had the misfortune to rent a Nissan Versa sedan out of Las Vegas to tour Nevada and the Grand Canyon. The three of us with luggage was too much for the thing. Every time I wanted to accelerate I implored the Hamsters and Mice to work harder.
Circa 1988. My POS Rustinzbeetle was in the shop for some serious engine fixing. Got a ride from a housemate to Rent-A-Wreck. Wheezed out from there in a (iirc) Dodge Schitzedan of some malaise-era vintage. I couldn’t really tell what it was, it was dark and rainy and cost only $10/day.
About a mile or two later I drove it back hoping to catch someone before they closed. The windshield wipers didn’t work and the braking, well one of the calipers was locking up so it was more of an apply brake pedal/countersteer/resteer/slide sort of braking style. I managed to talk the clerk into trading it for ANYTHING else and I left again in a Chevette with a leak around the windshield gasket. But at least it stopped and I could wipe the water off with a rag from under the seat.
I arrived late into Minneapolis, found my way to where all the rental cars were, and was instructed to head into the parking garage and find an attendant who would get my car. The place was deserted…like Imma get knifed sort-of deserted. The one guy I saw turned out to be the guy I needed. I showed him my reservation and he said he’d upgrade me to a mid size…ok. He showed me three…a Malibu maxx (that hadn’t been built in maybe 5 years at that point) that looked like someone took a sign post and punctured the door, a Camry, and a relatively benign looking Mitsubishi Galant. Never having driven the Mitsubishi, I chose that…until he opened the door and the cigarette smell came pouring out the open door. Seriously, it was like it was used exclusively for stakeouts in 70’s cop shows. So I chose the Camry…until I saw the interior. It looked like it had been commuting to a coal mine, and the miners decided to wash the coal dust off themselves in the car…with a pot of coffee. The Malibu…I dunno, I guess I just couldn’t, so I chose the dirty Camry. It was a perfectly acceptable vehicle otherwise, except I couldn’t find it in the hotel lot the next morning because I rented it in a dark garage and parked it in the middle of the night, so I had no idea what color it was. After a minute or so of hitting the horn button on the remote I finally found it and realized why I had been having such a hard time identifying it. It was a color I had never seen before…a darkish greyish brown? Darkish brownish-grey? BTW, I owe the hotel for the towels I stole to sit on.
Definitely the 3-cylinder Escape I got last year, which was ill-suited to Houston traffic.
Shouldn’t have been too bad if you were on 610 at 8am.
When I was 19 I was in a small collision in my 01 Bonneville SSEi, and because I was grandfathered in on a policy that included a rental car for collision work, I was kindly provided, for my use for ten days, a new Dodge Caliber, base model, in Orange. I think if it weren’t for the CVT I wouldn’t have been so mean to the poor thing, I still have a bad taste in my mouth from that overgrown pumpkin.
The only thing I remember that was entertaining was I was able to fit it in the 2 car garage sideways at the back, without leaving the footprint of the garage from starting out backed in on one half. Haha
2019 Toyota Corolla. Originally, I was thrilled – I had a 1,000 mile drive ahead of me, and had reserved ‘Mirage or similar’, so, I thought this was a huge win. Adaptive cruise control, HID headlights (I was going to be driving through the night), a lot more sound deadening and space, etc.
Boy, what a disappointing car. Chiefly, I could not find a suitable seating situation. The seat insisted on staying very close to the steering wheel, so, cramped legs. The USB outlet wouldn’t put out enough juice to keep my phone charged, so I ended up having to stop and buy a 12V adapter – not a big deal, but, would it have been so hard to have one that put out a little power? The adaptive cruise was okay – too cautious, but, that was expected. But, any time it would slow down, the CVT would ram the engine into its extra noise range trying to get back up to speed, which was frustrating. And, on top of that, it didn’t even get that great of fuel economy – low 30s, the same as a 6MT Accord I’ve done the same trip in previously.
Was it the worst car in the world? No. But, was I expecting to consider my unbelievably ragged 2007 Honda Civic a major upgrade over a 12 year newer Corolla? No, I was not.
Honorable mention does go to the 2012 Jetta with the newly re-introduced 2.0 and 6AT I rented for a trip in Southern California, where the car had to be driven in manual mode, else you were forced to compensate for about a 2-second throttle delay. The throttle delay, total and complete lack of power, and right turn signal being out was not a great combination for not getting run over. But at least the damned thing was comfortable.
Yeah I haven’t rented many cars in my time, but the current-gen Corolla stands out as a car that felt old beyond its years, not just tech-wise but in terms of, ‘oh, this hasn’t improved since 2012’. The radar cruise was awful and the LKA ping-ponged to the point of just being a distraction. The interior was sparse, and the model I rented wasn’t even equipped with CarPlay (wired or not). In contrast renting a Sonata was a fantastic experience—all the driver assists worked brilliantly, the interfaces were simple and elegant, and the suspension was well-damped on rough roads. Also the bigger Hyundai got better mileage, 42 hwy to the Corolla’s 38ish.
Those who wonder ‘why people even buy Hyundais with all their engine problems?’ would do well to drive a Corolla and Elantra back to back. The truth of the matter is if you only plan to keep a car for a few years there’s no reason to pay more for a worse experience in the Toyota. And if you buy cars for the long run, an old Corolla does everything the new one does but better.
2 door Geo Metro….but it was fun on the local power line access roads.
A 2020 Nissan Versa. Awful, boring, insanely tepid piece of crap. Depressing to look at, depressing to drive.
Also, a few Toyota Agya, a cheap, gutless rebadged Daihatsu that lacked a FUCKING WINDSCREEN DEFOGGER! In Central America. In the rainy season. The moron at National promised me a manual Kia Picanto. Fuck that guy. Fuck that country.
Also: I had to drive that fucking Agya under a storm, at night, all windows fogged, with my ex and her niece understandably and visibly nervous. After a couple hours ordeal we reach almost home and they asked to go to the supermarket. I waited in the parking lot searching the handbook for a defogger. It was an option, which our car lacked. Fuck Toyota, as well, and whoever bought those for central america.
Monterey Jazz festival, looking to book Hertz Van-Rentall (he of olden gearing fame) ended up with Ffiod Transitt, she was a good fiddle player but we really needed a bass man.
VW Jetta TSI in ATL circa 2016. So it was National Emerald Aisle and there were 2(!!) of these gems out of the sea of rental spec Malibus, Fortes, and other boring vehicles so I was excited to have something with a turbo and no CVT.
The first one I threw my bag in the trunk went to the driver’s door and realized it’s an accessibility model with steering wheel knob and hand controls. Never seen a rental for these, but obviously not for me. Removed my bag and went to the other TSI, looked good so I put my bag in the trunk and got in.
Well, red flag #1 was it smelled of tobacco smoke, but I thought I’ll just air it out and let them know at the gate about the issue. Turn it on and realized it had 50k miles on it! Red flag #2 as it’s a VW rental, probably 3 years old. It’ll be fine I thought as I turn on the AC, roll the windows down, set the mirrors and seat to my settings and roll out.
As I’m at the gate checking out I realize the AC isn’t working properly (Red flag #3), but decided to soldier on with it as I was fiddling with the settings. It was a sunny, warm March day and it wasn’t forecasted to be above 80 so I can handle the extra heat. Plus only really driving it in the morning and late afternoon so I’ll be fine.
I check into my hotel (about 5 miles from the airport) then drive to a restaurant nearby for dinner. Well by the time I leave the restaurant, it is completely dark outside (7ish). I get in the car, turn on the headlights and NONE OF THE DASH LIGHTS WORK!!! No dial or needle illumination or IP/radio displays. I think the only lights that were on were the hazard button and the AC ON indicator (which didn’t work). Not being familiar with VW I look up on my phone where the dimmer switch is located (the little scroll wheel on the left panel by the light switch) and all that is there is a HOLE WHERE THE SWITCH SHOULD BE, but it is completely gone. Like someone took it out of the vehicle gone.
I call National and they said they couldn’t send anyone because of the time and I would need to drop it off to switch it out. I had an important meeting in the morning downtown that required me to drive before sunrise so this was an absolute worst situation to be in. Well, the outside lights worked so I just said F it and drove the 5ish miles back to the airport (only location still open) and swap it out. Driving a car where you can’t see anything inside is a very very spooky thing, particularly when the car itself is not familiar while also being in a metro area you have never driven in before. The Chrysler 200 I took instead was so much better than that giant POS Jetta.
I got a 2023 Sentra when I had my car in the shop for some paintwork. I don’t want to totally slag it off, I imagine normally its probably an ok car but this one had its issues.
Only the drivers side window went down, tried every switch with the window locks on and off, nothing worked.
The rear glass had at one point been replaced as evidenced by the tons of duct tape residue around the entirety of the rear window where Enterprise must have placed a temporary plastic sheet.
The rear window defroster did not work, I imagine never hooked back up correctly from the window replacement.
The piano black pieces in the interior were permanently etched by whatever cleaner/disinfectant the lot jockeys spray into the car but don’t wipe down.
Lastly, on one occasion driving home from work the AEB alert flashed in the gauge cluster and the car stomped the brakes for a second or two. I can only guess it got confused by the cars coming towards me from around a bend in the road
Fleet-spec Chevy Trax (first gen facelift). We were meant to get a Corolla or equivalent, and they somehow didn’t have one available (shocker, I know), and we got stuck with truly the worst car I’ve ever been in. It was uncomfortable, slow, small, and interior quality was awful. I truly have no idea why anyone would ever buy one new, since they weren’t even that cheap considering the quality.
Not worst, but yesterday I reserved a “midsize truck” from Hertz and got a Ram 2500. So it was fun parking that cruise ship all day.
In 2023, I took the family out to AZ. National gave me a 2022 Chrysler Voyager (I didn’t even know those were a thing, but I guess they were rental only) with nearly 70,000 miles on it.
It shook so hard above 45 mph that I took it to another airport along my route and exchanged it. I told them it didn’t feel safe and waited about 45 minutes for them to have another minivan for me.
I walked out to, you guessed it, the same minivan.
After that, they brought me a much nicer Pacifica and they did knock a day off the cost of my rental