While carmakers keep trying to be “tech companies” or “micromobility providers,” the inverse is happening, with tech companies at least trying to add cars to their portfolio. Apple went on its own quixotic adventure and burned through billions of dollars trying to create a car before giving up. Sony, smartly, teamed up with Honda to create Afeela. Ineos, the chemical conglomerate, has built a vehicle.
In China, this is an even bigger deal, with tech companies like Xiaomi building successful cars. Even with how difficult it’s become to create new cars, a lot of people are trying it. It makes sense that tech companies might try given that the future is supposedly “software-defined vehicles.”
Still, if I want a company making a car that isn’t already a carmaker I’m looking for a few criteria:
- A company with great engineering.
- A company with timeless design.
- A company that won’t make something annoyingly complex.
I am, of course, thinking about BiC. Imagine a simple, elegant car called the BiC Crystal. It would be a straightforward, cheap design that would never let you down. And BiC already has a history with cars!
It just makes sense to me.
Now that I’ve taken BiC, who would you like to see try to build a car?
LEGO, and I’ll tell you why.
Around 2001, LEGO collaborated with a few other companies to build a concept car with an interior designed around LEGO. It was based on a Ford Excursion IIRC, but was planned to go in everything from sedans to minivans (as this was when people were still rational enough to buy minivans).
The idea was that with the popularity of family road trips, parents would be looking for ways to keep their kids occupied in the car without screens. So, this proposed car interior featured modular storage bins, trays, LEGO building surfaces built into various interior panels, and presumably some method of getting fallen pieces off the floor, all to make it as convenient as possible for middle and third row passengers to build with LEGO while in the car.
Front seat passengers weren’t left out either. The center console even had a LEGO baseplate slotted into it, so whoever’s riding shotgun could build too.
This concept made it far enough to be seriously considered for production and shown to various car companies, but LEGO’s infamous financial troubles in the early 2000s ultimately killed the project. That and it turned out, parents didn’t care that much about video games in the car.
Still, I’d love to see the idea revisited.
Kirby. Covered in chrome, weighs a ton, lasts forever.
Or, pink, can inflate and float, inhale other vehicles, or turn into a brick.
“Covered in chrome”
That isn’t chrome – That is solid polished die-cast aluminum.
https://www.kirby.com/heavy-duty-vacuum-cleaner/#:~:text=Kirby%20products%20are%20constructed%20from,of%20today's%20top%20Kirby%20vacuums.
Since Bic makes pens and white-out, maybe a Bic car would be good for burnouts and also leak every gasket there is LOL
AMD could probably make a good car. They already make a bunch of chips that are likely to be present in cars as it is.
Of course, auto parts suppliers like Bosch and Hitachi would be a good choice. They do more than just cars, and many cars are full of Bosch and Hitachi parts
Maybe Nabisco could make a good car. Since a lot of cars are shitty in terms of build quality, and the northeast likes to rust, you can just eat the car when it gives you too many problems LOL
I’d want some gov’t contractor like how Kaiser-Frazer was started. So….
Northrop-Grumman, preferably via Skunk-works.
Yes I know that Grumman made the LLV, but that was before they merged with Grumman, so it doesn’t count, but they were given a government contract and those things are still delivering my mail 30 years after production ended.
Also this article is severely lacking any mention of Crosley
Nitpick: the Skunk Works is part of Lockheed Martin, not Northrop Grumman.
I feel like hot wheels is the obvious choice.
Well, the real ones they’ve made so far get my vote for sure!
oooo yeah a real-life Sharkruiser would be awesome 😀
Borg Warner makes good car parts. I’m sure they could make a half decent car
Braun. Bosch. Staedtler.
I overlooked your comment before making mine. We never got a true fully Bauhaus car, and I’m here for it.
Stellantis could make a Deiter Ram 1500
(Hello The Bishop, knock-knock-knock)
Wham-O
Honestly, I would love to see what Bang & Olufsen would do with a car.
ah I see you are also of the opinion that money is no object.
When speculating about something like this, does money even exist?
I’d love to see Duluth Trading Co. build a small truck and call it the “Duluth Beaver”. So many interior pockets! And every time I pass by the people say “Hey! Nice Beaver!”.
They’d have the best warranty in the industry!
Fun fact, one of the names considered for the Ford Thunderbird was the Ford Beaver.
That would have made the Beach Boys song much more awkward…
Nothing makes you feel more like a man than a Thundercougarfalconbeaver.
Gee most of the companies whose products I covet for their quality are out of business , are zombie versions of themselves or are ludicrously expensive, can you imagine how much a Panavision car would cost?
Estwing?
Ooh, thought of another. Predator, sold at Harbor Freight. I’m thinking rebranded Chinese kei trucks and if you’re a rewards member you can get a free flashlight with purchase.
They could do BOGO sales of the ChangLi!
Extended warranty costs as much as the car.
Can’t believe I’m the first to say this.
SNAP-ON!
If you’ve used, you know.
I don’t think anyone in Kenosha remembers how to build cars.
Mercury Marine. 800cid, 8mpg, and seating for 8.
Hey my Bayliner with a Merc 305 got only 6 mpg. But it could seat 10!
Whereas I’m now imagining a car with a vertical 2.5L 2-stroke V6 revving to over 10k rpm…
Bialetti. Think about it, a Moka pot has functional engineering, classic design, can be used daily with confidence that it will do the job flawlessly. And it will only release fluid when you want it to, from where you want it to. And presumably a Bialetti car would come in a lovely shade of brown and possibly have some sort of built-in coffee maker.
Seiko
Excellent choice! They’d make stylish stuff built around unkillable engines, with a bit of flair and some racing style thrown in.
Wait, did I just describe 80s/90s Toyota?
Such a good answer. Extremely reliable, rugged, accurate, affordable, ergonomically brilliant, and the perfect blend of retro and modern style.
Saab. I love their planes, and I guess they could make some fine cars following the same philosophy
Peugeot make brilliant salt and pepper mills. I think they could do well with cars, too.
I think it would be funny if Intel deflected from their current woes by coming out with an also-half-baked car.
Only for AMD to come out with a better one.
Just spitballing…I think it’d be funny for the CPU/GPU rivalries to bleed over into cars, too.
The AMD would be 25% cheaper and 25% faster than the Intel initially but 100% more crashy.
Is that an “olden times” thing? Of course I imagine lots of this is anecdotal…but I have a 2023 build with an AMD CPU and GPU and the one “had-to-fully-reinstall-Windows” incident was decidedly Windows-related.
For some reason, anything past the BIOS screen, it refused to recognize USB devices, even in safe mode. But again, pretty sure that had to do with the Windows update that failed the night before.
It is an olden times thing, admittedly. I worked in a PC shop back in the 90s and we had a literal bucket full of bad Athlon CPUs and in the three years I worked there we never had a single Intel fail. I don’t do PC repair anymore but still working in IT in general we just stick with Intel and have less issues. I’ll give AMD credit for one thing, they were the first to put Intel in their place and knock them off their complacency.
Totally fair! Makes sense.
I know it’s just a sample of one, but I had a bad Intel i5 from 2010 in a Thinkpad T510i, which caused random BSODs on Windows 7. It was diagnosed as a bad video card by a motherboard repair shop, but after replacing it twice they couldn’t get it to stop. I put a new processor in when I got it back, and never had another problem.
would TSMC also be the manufacturer of said car?
Larian Studios. They listen to what the customer wants, then they add their expertise and joy and deliver the product to great fanfare.
Cannondale, then I could work for them and not have to move.
They did do an insane quad
A Level 5 autonomous vehicle by Sleep Number
General Electric, Pratt & Whitney, Rolls-Royce aviation, etc.. Take the expertise from making finely-tuned jet engines and make an automobile.
Also Yamaha, because I want the quality of one of their concert grands in a vehicle with an evolution of the V8 they made for Volvo (currently still sold as a marine engine), gosh darn it.
“Annnnd your oil change comes to… $37k.”
The engineering and design culture for aero engines would be a disaster in a consumer product development. They are absolutely marvels of engineering, with performance levels that are inconceivable to most people, but a price tag to match. The spinny bits hanging off of your A320 or 737 are running like $15 million apiece these days.
They would, however, build you the best city bus ever.
Exactly.
I know that the public would never have access to the financials but it would be VERY interesting to see how much of that price tag is materials/labor cost and how much of it is “because we can charge that much” profit..
I mean, I’ve seen a little bit of that price tag, and while yes there is a considerable upcharge based on the actual materials and labor that go into it (say 100%), there is a very, very large chunk of uncertainty that’s only sort of vaguely priced in with regards to warranty and other covered service work. Since an airliner being grounded costs a hell of a lot of money each day, airlines generally demand (and get) very aggressive service and warranty commitments from engine makers than can leave them with a lot of financial strain if their power plants are… less than reliable. Rolls-Royce very nearly went bankrupt a couple of years ago when they were on the hook for billions in Trent 1000 warranty work and they hadn’t charged enough up front, or for service contracts.
In the late ’60s/early ’70s, Boeing tried its hand at the non-aircraft market with the Boeing 929 Jetfoil and the US Standard Light Rail Vehicle. The Jetfoil turned out okay, but the LRV was prone to mechanical failures, in large part because the designers came from an aviation background where every vehicle was thoroughly checked between uses and squawks had to be repaired before each use. In otherwords, wholly unlike a transit vehcile that had be on the tracks 8 hours a day.
So extrapolate that to a city bus.
Pratt & Whitney… bigass jet strapped to the roof… I think you’re onto something
Then you could both fly and drive around Rentschler Field. (Another CT insider joke)
Yamaha could use Bösendorfer for their luxury division.
I relatively adore Yamaha pianos (and strongly admire and enjoy Roland, Baldwin, and Bösendorfer, but not the biggest fan of Steinway *shrug*), but you might be onto something.
I’ve rebuilt multiple Yamahas & Steinways, and would recommend Yamaha. One of Steinway’s sons was a marketing genius before that was a thing—and they spent a lot of money on highly visible stuff. It worked: everyone knows the name.
oooooo yeah a Yamaha car would be awesome!
They also made a crossplane I4 for motorcycles, but they could put one in a car. The crossplane I4 sounds like a V8, and it would probably get more people to accept 4-cylinder power.
I’m going with 3M. I bet they would make great taillights.
Cabo Wabo. A car designed for those who don’t care what the law says.
I don’t know you but was just thinking of you in this context. After Mercedes’s article about the Starship, how about Burt Rutan hires Toecutter and you two make a car? I propose it be called the Sideburn.
I like to imagine a lean-burn engine like a 2.0L K-series vtec, tuned to about 400 horsepower, in a 600-800 lb 4-wheeled tandem two-seater with a CdA value around 0.15-0.20 m^2. Either RWD or AWD.
You’d get triple-digit fuel economy and the performance of a hypercar, in an affordable package. Potentially 4-digit fuel economy at a steady 30 mph in top gear.
Think K-swapped Divergent Blade, but with velomobile aerodynamics.
Lean-burn, sideburn, whichever. I just think you and Rutan would make something interesting.
This is maybe cheating, but either some racing team or engine builder.
Cosworth, Red Bull, etc.