Why I’m Selling My Unreliable Land Rover Against The Wishes Of My Friends

The time is here, folks. My Land Rover Discovery, which generated hundreds of comments, opinions, and laughs from all of you after it (predictably) broke down is up for sale. It was an extremely difficult decision. I love this truck even though it did spend a total of a month and a half at the shop. We had some great memories. I was stranded not once, not twice, but on three separate occasions. I recently took it out to the North Fork of Long Island and saw other old Landys, probably maintained by real adults with real incomes. Maybe that’s why it died five weeks later; it thinks it deserves better.

I Don’t Drive It

Why am I selling it, you may ask? Well to start, I just don’t drive it as often as I would like to. I am a full-time college student. I’m in three orchestras (music content coming soon!) and clubs, and taking 18.5 credits. I’m gone from 7:45 AM-8:30 PM nearly every day in classes. I come home, shower, and collapse in my bed to the sounds of Christopher Cross playing from my Yacht Rock playlist. On the weekends, I am a waiter/manager at a local seafood restaurant, Friday through Sunday nights. During the weekend day, I write silly articles for all of you and entertain a few of you (Hi Thad). My Disco sits in the street, collecting dust. Occasionally, I will hop in it to pick up my sister or run an errand, which is usually 2 minutes from home. All in case, you know, the inevitable happens.

It’s a Land Rover…

Oh, also it’s perhaps the most unreliable POS Land Rover has put out in modern history. The 4.0 V8 Bosch engine is atrocious. It is almost a rite of passage for all Disco IIs to blow a head gasket — though it’s just among the many, many other issues that plague this machine. You all yelled at me and told me everything that went wrong was my fault for not doing preventative maintenance. Folks, “preventative maintenance” doesn’t exist on a Land Rover. It’s just “maintenance.” You’re not truly preventing anything, you’re maybe just slighly prolonging the inevitable. Everything is a never-ending project. Everything is a breaking project.

After sharing my decision with my coworkers there was chatter about my decision, of course. But mostly recommendations on what to get next, that’s what we car people tend to focus on. There are many amazing cars out there, you see.

I Have No Time To Work On It

I promise you all I’m not making excuses. If I don’t even have time to drive this thing what makes you think I can muster up the time to work on it? Stephen, I know you really wanted to see some wrenching from me, and so very graciously offered your help. Perhaps I can put a new cabin air filter in my 4Runner. Will that suffice for wrenching?

I Want To Buy A Car With A Stick To Learn

You read that right. Learn. I, a writer for the greatest automotive publication of all time, The Autopian, do not know how to shift gears. Get this kid off this site! I have to admit, I’m embarrassed. However, in my defense, I grew up in a family where our car, a Honda Odyssey was simply a means of transportation. [Editor’s Note: It is unacceptable for a writer at The Autopian to not know how to drive a stick. Unacceptable! Just kidding; you just turned 20! I’ll teach you, young man. Gladly. -DT]. My ‘rents couldn’t tell a CR-V from a Diablo. I had no cool uncle who had a pristine Miata or 911 in a garage. Heck, not a single family member of mine can drive a stick. Moving on to my friends, the ones who like cars that is, we’ve never had the time to practice. I also do not want to destroy their clutches. I think I would have no friends after that.

Due to this reason, I believe it would be fun to buy a cheap, little, fun car to learn stick. I have no idea what yet, so I’m open to suggestions. Ideally, I’d love to find a Saab 9-2X, with a five-speed. I may or may not have picked the 9-2x just because I want the vanity plate, “IKEA WRX.”

I Want Something New

I’ve had my fun with my Rover, but it’s also a big, giant, boxy SUV that gets horrendous gas mileage. I already have a 4-Wheel drive SUV, my Toyota 4Runner, which I’ve had for four years; it’s my first car. I never plan on selling that, so I’ll continue to daily drive it and use it as a 4WD beach rig.

We’ve all got to switch it up once in a while, right? I could randomly decide to go bald one day and sure I’d miss my hair, but I’d get used to having a shiny head. [Ed note: This is such a random analogy. -DT]. I’ll sell my Disco and I’ll be upset sure, but I might also have a great sigh of relief releasing that ticking time bomb off my shoulders.

What do you all think? Am I foolish for selling it? Am I justified? Are my reasons not valid? Whatever you think, however, I’m still selling it. If you’re interested, please shoot me an email @robs3547@icloud.com. I still want a NAS Defender, so I am open to trades! Someone would do a one-for-one for this steaming pile, right?