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Not entirely relevant, but for emergency food on an endurance fatbike race, many racers will simply duct tape a large jar of peanut butter to their bike. It’s because they are required to carry 3000 calories of emergency food. Which would be many cans of clams, or only one jar of peanut butter. Of course, the race is in MN in the winter, where the temps are in the -20’s. No hope of eating that PB when frozen solid.
Wait I have a new short-time obsession of clam names:
Clamothy (Clamothée if we wanna be fancy and topical)
Clamond
Clamelia
Clamberly
Clammalee
Clammet
okay I have to stop or I won’t get any work done today.
I’d read a Wet Clams mystery.
There are two “hard nopes” in my life:
Shellfish
Cooked Fruit
Soooo…. no thanks.
So no pie?
nope, no pie. I’m that guy.
I was going to say That’s not American! but then I didn’t want to hurt the pie industry by dissuading folks unexcited about seeming American from eating pies.
LOL. Nah, I just don’t like cooked fruit and shellfish. Neither are appetizing to me, despite so much of the world absolutely loving them. It’s me, not you.
“Clamworth is clearly the butler”
Chlemdondforth, pronounced “Clamworth”.
Wait? I thought I was a member? In any case, I’m kind of a recent convert to fish-in-a-can. I don’t keep it in my car, but i always keep some in my desk at work. Mackerel, sardines in mustard sauce, herring fillets in different sauces (Lidl!). Smoked oysters I use in pasta sauce. Of course plain old tuna is fine but I’m getting artisanal with that- having a variety-pack case of specialty stuff shipped to me at regular intervals. Get thee to H-mart or another asian store and get some Dongwon spicy tuna. Yum.
Ok, the last screenshot there with the pic of the emergency clams…
I kinda need to know what was Adrian’s reply that’s hidden there.
I was thinking the same thing.
I have canned smoked oysters as glove compartment food.
New cars get new cans.
In my family only I would eat them, so they last well.
Don’t worry about “best before dates”, they are more or less just a suggestion to make you buy more food. I imagine I’ve heard JFK Junior croak out “if the can’s not bloated it is fine”.
Should be RFK
That does depend upon what the food item is.
Canned black bans or a bag of heavily salted tortilla chips, I ignore the date. From my experience, such items will be generally good for a year or more passed that date if unopened.
For a container of organic sour cream, I do not ignore the date: 1-2 days after expiration, it’s probably edible without getting me sick, but not 1-2 months after…
I understood that they change the text depending on if they could be used after the date.
“Best by/before” usually means they are still fine afterward, just maybe not as tasty or fresh.
“Use by or Expires on” means it’s probably gone bad after that point.
Clams are frickin’ delicious. I’m hungry now.
Nothing quite like a microbrew-produced Mexican craft beer mixed with clam juice, tomato juice, lime juice, and salt. Chelada con clamato. Delicious.
Ha, I’m good on the clam beer. Lemme rawdog them clams. Clam meat straight down the clamhole. Hell yeah.
(Maybe steam them in beer, though. Gosh, I want steamer clams so much right now. Maybe I should move away from the landlocked place.)
That can of emergency clams looks too much like an air spencer. Imagine the scent of emergency clams left open on a hot summer day
May I suggest Clamantha in lieu of Clamatha? Or like as her sister’s name?
+1. Clamatha sounds like a non fatal but annoying malady that requires prescription medication.
Or add a few extra letters and its a pharmaceutical commercial. “Ask you doctor about Clamathadrine…”
You never know how many clams you’re going to need for bail money. Smart move.
We had a couple of joke Christmas presents passed around for many many years. The canned octopus disappeared somewhere along the line. The can of seal meat? We know the fate of that one. Cousin Jack saw that one, exclaimed in joy, opened it up, and ate it. Jack spent some years in Alaska and hadn’t been part of our Xmas celebrations for a long time which is why it was able to be passed around for so long.
more mack hardigraw, please!
I would sincerely buy a Mack Hardigraw pocket book collection.
I have preached this before and I’ll preach it again. We need, nay we demand more Mack Hardigraw, Max Hardigrew, Bladderford, Clamsworth, and other sordid tales from the Lumiere Rouge.
Ever had a cold and accidentally swallowed your phlegm? It’s cheaper than oysters and tastes the same. Money saving tip. Haaacckkk.
Cover your mouth when you cough! Oh, wait, never mind…/s
I’ve had a few “opportunities” to try clams over the years, but I’ve never been able to bring myself to do it. They look so disgusting, and the way people who do eat them describe the taste and texture makes me think that my visual impression is correct. I do not understand it.
I’m (predictably) a pretty big fan of tinned fish/related ocean-sourced items in general, and an avid viewer of Youtube’s Canned Fish Files with Matthew Carlson https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOh0i2J19hEJXA4r6aIU2gw who looks and sounds a heckofalot like Weird Al Yankovik. I’ve eaten my share of cans of little tiny clams and oysters and mussels (smaller is always easier if you’re a bit squeamish, which I’m generally not) though various variations of sardines, along with herring in different preparations are my usuals. Do all guys eventually gravitate towards tinned fish/etc… as they traverse middle age, or is it only those of eastern European heritage?
I dunno.
I do like clams though. In Koreatown (in LA) most of the big markets (like HK) have blocks of frozen tiny clams that you can add to a soup/stew/chowder, hotpot, ramen, pasta, etc… And they’re not even expensive really. I honestly don’t know if they’re wild caught or maybe (probably?) farmed, or where they come from (southeast Asia if forced to guess) but dayum, they’re pretty good eating IMO.
And finally, I’m not surprised this tale of Jason’s proclivities included a fictional car from a fictional brand called “Prolapse.”
It’s crazy that you bring this up, just last week a friend was talking to another customer at the bar and talking about exactly this phenomenon. Sardines, tinned fish, anchovies, the whole lot. All the stuff you held your nose against at a kid gradually become agreeable or even desirable. That’s two data points we’ve got now.
I’ll admit to liking many of them as a kid even. First time I traveled to continental Europe (as an adult), a minor thrill was discovering that anchovies on pizza was a normally available thing!
The true British seaside experience includes pickled winkles.And driving rain of course.
Don’t forget a seagull stealing your chips.
It can try.
(And risk getting a swift backhanded pimp-smack to the beak. Homie don’t play ‘dat.)
My dad got me started on sardines as a kid. Which reminds me it’s been a while and I should grab some at the store today. Either the hot sauce or… mustard? I think mustard, variety. Memory’s pretty unreliable these days.
Asian brands/markets often have the ‘deens in a katsu curry sauce, which is yummy. And I had them (or was it herring?) in a creamy, light green dill sauce once (I think the brand was something like Apel) and they were fantastic. Though I enjoy both hot sauce and mustard preps too, along with smoked.
Usually though, just oil (olive preferred) for the little fishes. I know getting them packed in spring water is healthier, but I prefer the olive oil as it helps dress whatever they’re on: crusty bread, a salad, a pasta, etc…
I think about them a lot… probably more than I should.
Same here, most adults trying them for the first time find them repugnant but my father was a fan; my late wife couldn’t stand the things, so I would have to go outside before I could even open the can. It became a bit of a ritual as I would set up my lawn chair in the driveway with a wobbly pop in hand and about 30 seconds after I started to uncurl the top our free-range cat would come storming around the corner of the house for his share of the can.
They just don’t make ’em like the PROLAPSE Clamking these days.
That is a car name only Torch would come up with.
Maybe it’s not possible since this is a member exclusive, but I would have like to have seen an extensive listing of clam related tags on this post. I’ll be okay though – promise.
The drawing I got for my last birthday was of a 1931 Clambrolet Werke Storksurge LX. I was quite confused, but slightly less so since I knew from whom it had originated.
Was it the one about the Ford Elite? That went over 100 comments.
Omega Mart!!!! What a magical magical place. I want to go back terribly. It is packed to the clams with totally weird shit. I laughed for the entire two and half hours I got to spend in there.
Clamworth, book the flights posthaste.
Clamworth doesn’t book flights. He calls the captain of the Lear and tells him to be ready in 45 minutes.
Ha! I had this thought about 2 minutes after posting. You’re exactly right.