Home » Why So Mad, Ma’am? Cold Start

Why So Mad, Ma’am? Cold Start

Topshot Tornado 12 23
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I don’t get it. How can she be in such a bad mood when she’s standing next to a 1966 Toronado?

Maybe she lost the keys, or it doesn’t start, but I’d have a hard time doing anything but smile in the presence of a what is almost certainly the greatest car to ever bear the Oldsmobile badge.

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This was the era when General Motors was at the top of their game, and the Toronado was a perfect example of their work at the time. It would have been put on a pedestal based on its appearance alone, a sinister looking fastback with a fuselage shape and concealed headlights, with a lack of superfluous trim that would have been unthinkable at Olds a decade before.

1966 Oldsmobile Toronado
GAA Classic Cars

Styling was’t the only noteworthy thing about Olds’ amazing coupe. Its massive front-wheel drive system, which mounts the transmission under the engine and connects the two via a wide chain, is itself enough to give the Toronado landmark status. Put the aesthetics together with those mechanicals and you have a masterpiece.

1966 Toronado Ad
General Motors

The question really is, what the hell is she wearing?

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Tornado Model 12 20

The horizontal stripes on her skirt that get all checkerboardy at the top make the Pasha upholstery in a Porsche 928 seem tame. The intersecting graphics are so jarring with the clean shape of the car. Unfortunately, that is precisely also what’s happening on the dashboard of the ’66 Toronado. Take a look at this:

1966 Oldsmobile Toronado 2
Volo Auto Sales

Good Lord, what am I looking at? The “drum” speedometer looks like an old bathroom scale, and if you exceed 130 miles an hour it appears the drum will just keep going around again and force you to do math (“let’s see…130 plus 25 is …”). You really don’t want to be doing that in an all-drum-brake equipped car traveling at over 190 feet per second. The other gauges and controls are in different shapes and surrounded in shiny stuff to the point that you have to stop and adjust for a few moments to even tell your eyes where to look.

Maybe at night, with just the instruments illuminated, it would be much easier to read these things. I’d certainly like to try it out, but I’m too terrified to see if our stripe-clad lady here would let that happen. Aren’t you?

 

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Oldskool
Oldskool
10 months ago

Is that her skirt, or a semi matching handbag?

Maybe she’s at a dealer or shop saying “you guys REALLY need to put better brakes on this thing”. As the 66 only had drums on the front.

SlowCarFast
SlowCarFast
10 months ago

She just saw the ad for the Opel next to the swimming pool and is about to say, “WTF***!!!”

Michael Concordia
Michael Concordia
10 months ago
Reply to  SlowCarFast

Reminds of the Flying Nun outfit (ignoring the graphics)…. I had a ’76 Eldorado at one time, which has the same drive train and you needed 3/4″ drive stuff to work on that suspension…

Old Hippie
Old Hippie
10 months ago

“You are not taking a picture of me wearing this!

Myk El
Myk El
10 months ago

This car is in Forza Horizon 5. And for some reason down in the D and C classes, it’s like cheat code. Within the last month, they had a weekly C class championship restricted to FWD cars. I took that big boat out there with a bunch of Integras and CRXes and didn’t have to struggle to win (playing against highly skilled computer avatars).

Jakob K's Garage
Jakob K's Garage
10 months ago

I agree, the ’66 Olds is the greatest of those old barges from the previous millennium.

Jimmy7
Jimmy7
10 months ago

My favorite car! The doors were so long that it had handles for the rear passengers. Twist the center of the steering wheel and it unlocks so you can slide it closer. The flat floor made it comfortable for six and at least five had their own ashtray. It was glorious, upper-middle class excess!

Jakob K's Garage
Jakob K's Garage
10 months ago
Reply to  Jimmy7

Damn, I thought the 1970 two door Range Rover “invented” the extra inside door openers. Thanks.

Bradillac
Bradillac
10 months ago

Runway model 101: rule #7a – never smile.

Sam I am
Sam I am
10 months ago

She had hair like Jeannie Shrimpton back in 1965..

Jnnythndrs
Jnnythndrs
10 months ago
Reply to  Sam I am

Legs that never ended, as well.

Mr. Canoehead
Mr. Canoehead
10 months ago

She just found out that after GM spent all that money on the TH425, they cheaped out on the rear suspension and installed a single leaf suspended solid beam unit.

Jack Trade
Jack Trade
10 months ago

One of these appears prominently in the neat little under the radar movie Anon as the ride of Clive Owen’s disaffected detective.

It’s an Andrew Niccol (Gattaca) movie about a future where augmented reality is beamed directly into our heads, so as you look at the world, everything has an overlay telling you facts about it. So he in fact drives this model.

Luxobarge
Luxobarge
10 months ago

if you exceed 130 miles an hour it appears the drum will just keep going around again and force you to do math

Is this really a problem? According to Wikipedia, the top speed of the Toronado was only 135 mph. Also, who’s taking their FWD personal luxury car to the track?

Last edited 10 months ago by Luxobarge
Luxobarge
Luxobarge
10 months ago
Reply to  Mike Harrell

Consider me educated, sir.

Mike Harrell
Mike Harrell
10 months ago
Reply to  Luxobarge

Okay, but be warned that, as a geologist, my personal standard of what counts as educated is not high.

JKcycletramp
JKcycletramp
10 months ago
Reply to  Mike Harrell

Geologist-fast is also not usually measured in MPH.

Mike Harrell
Mike Harrell
10 months ago
Reply to  JKcycletramp

I suppose that does explain my approach to racing:

https://www.murileemartin.com/UG/LWA12/LWA12-UG-140.jpg

Richard O
Richard O
10 months ago

Let’s see… 66 model… 65 photoshoot…

She’s fine. It’s a mod outfit and perfect for the times and positively tame for some of the fashion stuff of the day.

As for the car, I had the good fortune of driving one of these in my youth. My dad had a 69 (my favorite year), the family had vacations, and I had a job so I stayed home. It really is a great cruiser.

Barry Allen
Barry Allen
10 months ago

It’s definitely a reaction to the most unflattering dress ever to appear in a car ad. It’s like dazzle camouflage for beauty.

Turn the Page
Turn the Page
10 months ago

A friend’s dad bought one new in 1966. We were a couple years shy of legal driving age and just overwhelmed by the exterior styling, instrumentation, and most of all, the performance of the 425 V8. And it got great traction in the snow on bias ply tires when the norm in the Midwest was to install snow tires on RWD cars. The Toronado’s styling is still beautiful today.

As far as the woman’s attire, I would occasionally respond to my sons questions about growing up in the 60s and 70s by saying “It was a different time”.

AlterId
AlterId
10 months ago
Reply to  Turn the Page

I have always said that if your parents begin a story with the words. “Well, it was the ’70s…”, they are about to disclose things about themselves that you never, ever wanted to know and that will populate your nightmares for the rest of your life.

The corollary is that if your grandparents are telling the story, they get to be the cool grandparents, and it’s even better if your parents are in the room with your and forced to listen.

Turn the Page
Turn the Page
10 months ago
Reply to  AlterId

Absolutely! I’ve been in both situations, and once my sons got into their twenties, I came clean.

D-dub
D-dub
10 months ago

“Where do you think you’re going mister? Out cruising in your Toronado? I don’t think so – get back in that house and unclog that bathroom sink like you said you would!”

Aaron Nichols
Aaron Nichols
10 months ago

I love it when these cars put some of the auxiliaries like the climate controls or the radio on the left side of the driver. Nothing says ‘F U’ to the passenger better than this.

Rafael
Rafael
10 months ago
Reply to  Aaron Nichols

The driver is the captain!

Andy Individual
Andy Individual
10 months ago
Reply to  Rafael

I said wot?

Icouldntfindaclevername
Icouldntfindaclevername
10 months ago

They put the camouflage on her instead of the car. She must have some weird angles they needed to hide

Geoff Buchholz
Geoff Buchholz
10 months ago

She was actually the ’68 Cutlass.

Mr. Asa
Mr. Asa
10 months ago

“What do you mean ‘I’m a checkered flag’ that makes no sense. The Toronado doesn’t race anywhere!”

Jimmy7
Jimmy7
10 months ago
Reply to  Mr. Asa
Michael Beranek
Michael Beranek
10 months ago

To be honest, this car is so beautiful that I didn’t even notice the woman.

OCS-BN
OCS-BN
10 months ago

Take your phone and point the camera at her dress. You’ll be stunned when you find out that this was the worlds first public appearance of a QR code!

Data processing specialist W.T. Fug invented this concept in the mid 60s. He truly was a foresighted man.

Last edited 10 months ago by OCS-BN
IRegertNothing, Esq.
IRegertNothing, Esq.
10 months ago

She’s in her dazzle scheme, making it harder for the Hun to accurately calculate her heading for the torpedo shot.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dazzle_camouflage

Flyingstitch
Flyingstitch
10 months ago

I’m guessing each GM car had a predetermined chrome budget, and when they couldn’t use enough of it on the outside, it ended up in the dash.

D-dub
D-dub
10 months ago
Reply to  Flyingstitch

“If we don’t use it all up they’ll reduce next year’s allotment!”

Last edited 10 months ago by D-dub
James Mason
James Mason
10 months ago

She’s a terrible paper doll come to life.

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
10 months ago

She’s mad because horizontal stripes do not flatter the figure.

Rad Barchetta
Rad Barchetta
10 months ago

You’d be mad, too, if you had to wear your husband’s boxer shorts on your head.

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