Nearly 26 years since it entered production, it’s safe to say that the original Audi TT is iconic. Not only is it a brilliant example of taking a relatively normal platform and dressing it up well, but its Bauhaus-inspired styling is unmistakable, and generally considered beautiful. For the most part, it was beautiful, except in Canada, where differing bumper laws led the Mk1 TT to grow strange protrusions from its bumpers.
See, while Federal Motor Vehicle Safety Standards and Canadian Motor Vehicle Safety Standards are closely aligned, they aren’t always exact. For instance, Canada mandated daytime running lights way back in 1990, but daytime running lights aren’t mandatory in America.
While that’s a relatively small thing to sort, the previous misalignment of bumper laws was a much bigger deal. I’ll let the Canadian government’s own document from when bumper laws were changed do the talking:
Canada and the United States introduced safety standards for bumpers in the early 1970’s. When the Canadian and the United States safety standards were originally introduced, they were harmonized with a test speed of 5 mph (8 km/h) for front and rear impacts and 3 mph (4.8 km/h) for corner impact tests. However, in 1979, the United States added more stringent requirements that included cosmetic damage criteria, while maintaining the original test speeds and safety components damage protection requirements. In 1982, the United States reduced the test speeds to 2.5 mph (4 km/h) for front and rear impacts and 1.5 mph (2.4 km/h) for corner impacts, and maintained their cosmetic and safety damage requirements
Yep, while Canada never pursued the same cosmetic damage requirements as America’s bumper laws, its full-width test speed of 5 mph, or 8 km/h, stayed in place long after 1982. In fact, harmonization with U.S. bumper testing speeds wasn’t announced until 2008. Now, this wasn’t a huge deal for most cars that were engineered to Canadian standards from the start, but the Audi TT was a bit different. For whatever reason, the American bumpers didn’t pass Canadian bumper testing, and Audi needed to come up with a solution quickly and on the cheap.
Some members of the TT community call these ‘tumor’ bumpers, partly because they’re unsightly lumps and partly because they can be removed with a little bit of surgery. See, they’re held on with hardware that goes through holes in a normal bumper cover, so you can theoretically remove the bumper covers, remove the hardware, pull off the bumper sausages, fill the holes with plastic repair compound, sand smooth, and have the bumper covers repainted, but it’s a rather labor-intensive process. However, if you leave them be, they do offer an odd appearance.
They almost look like echoes of old-school metal bumpers trying to burst through the skin of the car, and while the rear one could be acceptable, the front bumper bulge looks, well, bad. It’s hard to imagine these tacked-on alterations sitting well with the designer because they seriously affect the minimalist looks of what was a landmark car from a styling standpoint.
Believe it or not, the Mk1 TT wasn’t the only Audi to get Canada-specific bumperettes. Since the law wasn’t amended until mid-2008, some early Canadian-market Audi R8s sported bumperettes of their own, and man, were they ever lumpy. Sure, they were only mounted to the front of the R8, but check out this photo of a Canadian-market 2008 R8 that sold on Cars & Bids. Not only do they look tacked on, they quite literally are tacked on, held in place with a mixture of fasteners and adhesives. A good body shop can remove them, but it’s definitely not a DIY activity.
While Audi’s tacked-on bumperettes are awkward and labor-intensive to rectify, they certainly beat the approach that Pontiac used for the Holden-built GTO, and Mitsubishi used for any Evo prior to the tenth one — simply skipping Canada. Even though we at The Autopian are generally fans of bumpers that can actually take a bump, the form factor of these Canadian-market devices leaves something to be desired. Call it great intentions but bad execution. Mind you, there might be people with global bumpers who actually want the Canadian-market add-ons, and vice versa, so who knows? Maybe you can do a bumper exchange in the comments.
(Photo credits: Kijiji seller, Cars & Bids)
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This does explain why lot of passenger cars sold in the US still had those battle ram bumpers in the 1980s and 1990s long after the FMVSS was revised in 1982. Even the new models introduced after 1982…
I guess Canadians are worse than Americans when it comes to driving…oh, wait! I forgot Canada has one of the most brutal winters so the battle ram bumpers would help a lot when the cars went out of control on snow or ice.
The good thing is the TT was so ugly to begin with that any uglifying variation in its design was a lateral rather than a vertical move, on account of that bottom being reached, hard and stable.
That TT just looks like it’s following the current trend of having a pornstache.
That TT front end… Yeesh.
What’s going on with the notifications? First they would disappear immediately after bringing them up, but now they refuse to disappear even though I’ve read every one *and* pressed the delete button.
Anyway the ones on the back of the TT look kinda nice imho.
Even worse is the bell shaking on and on so obnoxiously…no matter how much you want it to stop.
Both look totally fine to me.
I don’t hate the back of the TT, and I’m sure Jason appreciates these.
Sometimes bumpers grow on you. I wanted to find Euro bumpers for my w126 for the longest time. But now I rather like the extended North American units, as they lengthen an already long car, and give me plenty of space to stuff an intercooler in the nose.
The Tt is rough but I may actually like the r8 better
I dismissed the video over the notification popup and it didn’t clear the notifications. Yay! Big improvement!
Truth be told, I never really cared for the looks of the TT. It always struck me as a cheap Chinese knockoff of the New Beetle.
Blasphemy, I know, but it just never struck me as a particular attractive car, so the bumpers really don’t shift the needle one way or the other.
And yes, maybe I’d feel different if I ever drove one, but I’ve never had any interest. My understanding of Audis is they’re great while they’re on lease, but once the warranty runs out, they’re money pits.
Ignoring my aesthetic tastes, is my understanding of the mechanical aspects correct?
I’m with you, never understood the attraction. Definitely not what I would call “beautiful” by a long shot. The headlights look ugly in an A2 way.
I think as an object of design, it’s outstanding. As a beautiful car, I think the second gen is better.
I never cared for these either (or especially the new Beetle), but I rode in a co-worker’s TT and was quite impressed. It’s a driver’s car.
And I don’t care how bad the bumperettes look – I’d want them if I went anywhere where other people park.
I think it looks cheap too.
glad i am not the only one that feels that way.
Wait…”…definitely not a DIY activity.”
Somebody here is gonna be like, ‘Really? Watch this!’
-or post their build thread.
Yeahhhh, those seem super simple to remove tbh. I’m guessing you just need to pop off the bumper cover, use a heat gun, pry them off, then use tar remover and polish.
Probably less labor intensive than the stupid aftermarket chrome B and C pillar covers I had to remove from a friends recently purchased MKC last week.
Not to be a Debbie Downer but was binging Top Gear BBC and Jeremy and Captain Slow rated the Crossfire above the same year Audi TT. Having never driven either I’m not an expert. Hamster went Nissan 350Z maybe? Definitely Nissan Z
In the future, David will call these holy grails.
lol!
I don’t hate the ones in back – and the front could be a heck of a lot worse.
I’d prefer this than torn up bumpers and ruined lighting systems & grilles.
And thank you for giving us our notifications back!!!
Have you seen the Mini 1000 bumpers for Canada during the 70s? Makes these look like supermodels.
So … side by side pics of U.S. vs. Canada please. thanks
Ever street-parked in Montreal?
It would make even more sense if they were unpainted black, so as to hide the scuffs.
Hey it’s hard to backup with a Pepsi in one hand
Always better than with a Molson!
Back in 2013 I bought a 2002 A4 (B6) that had been street-parked in mtl for the past 8 years.. The scuffed bumpers were indeed an eyesore (to me anyways, it was silver like half the German cars of the early aughts) but I had a good deal on a relatively low km and mechanically sound car. Well, it cost me a couple grand to get the Quattro fixed, but overall it was a great car, and beautiful… without the scuffs
Here in Montreal, we park using the Braille method.
Of course, Montrealers learnt a trick or two from Parisians about the parking technique…
At least your bumper to bumper guarantee has more coverage on those, so that’s a win.
*warranty; where is my edit button?
I guarantee it is there 😉
(Tap the gear logo)
That’s the thing, it was (and still is) missing, both on mobile and desktop. Weird.
The TT would look a lot better if the front bumper bump went all the way across.
Yeah,I actually like these more than the non-sausage ones. Especially if the would’ve gone all the way over.
Do Canadian bumpers taste like ham?
Ask Torch’s dog:
https://jalopnik.com/can-you-use-a-canned-ham-as-a-bumper-guard-1667080394
Classic.
Here’s a TTR8 LOL
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-E0rqG5QrG-8/T758rrtMFCI/AAAAAAAAAkc/E1C-AXUVNqw/s1600/mini-audi_tt_r8_lookalike_ebay_images_6.jpg
It’s still an Audi…it’s like a high priced “companion.” Pretty to look at, but sooo many issues under the hood. Just waiting for it to break so that the entire front end has to come off and be put back on, usually not as well.
I always wondered about the VW/Audi “service position” where you take the whole front clip off. Is it a bunch of fiddly clips that get brittle and break if you look at them funny?
Or is it legit designed to be easy and actually fit back together 100% when you are done. On a say a 20 year old TT with a bunch of miles and brittle plastics
I know on my cars, which admittedly are closer to 10 years old, it’s pretty easy. Mostly Torx screws and some bolts to get the bumper off (maybe 20 min), unbolt the lock carrier and put some studs in different holes to move it forward and keep it there. Service position is not removing all of the front end components, it’s just moving them forward for access to the front of the engine. It keeps all of the cooling, aircon and what have you intact.
I’ve had the bumper off of my S5 a few times for mods and it always comes off and goes back on real nice, I don’t even have to adjust the radars or parking sensors. There really aren’t many plastic clips to speak of, at least on my cars. The majority is solidly mounted with bolts or screws into metal nutplates.