Who could use the fire of righteous anger this morning? We all could, let’s be honest, which is why I’m happy/angry to tell you about a genuinely maddening situation that happened in Cape Coral, Florida. It starts with a pretty innocuous situation, one that is more annoyance than anything else. A woman, parking her car at a spot under a tree that had low-hanging branches, found that the roof of her car scraped along part of the tree branch when parking. So, like many of us would, she grumbled to herself, backed out and moved to a different spot.
Usually, the story would end there, perhaps just with you inspecting the damage to the car’s roof. But in the case of Yanelly Guzman, it ended with her getting arrested.
Yes, she was arrested. For scraping the roof of her car against the underside of a thick tree branch. Guzman is an employee at a T.J. Maxx store (I believe that stands for Thomas Jefferson Maxx) and at the time when the incident happened, a Christmas Eve shift, she recalls asking her manager what she should do. As she told local news channel WECT 6:
“I feel like something was making pressure on my car, so when I do that, I back up,” Guzman said. “Then, I decide to park in another spot.”
Shortly after, Guzman realized she hit a low-hanging tree branch hovering over the first parking spot. She spoke to her manager about the incident, but he didn’t know what to do. Other people she talked to advised her to contact the Cape Coral Police Department.
“The district manager told him for me to make a report, an accident report… so I could file for a claim, so they could pay my damage. That’s what I did,” Guzman said.”
Looking at the tree in WECT6’s news footage, it makes sense how one could scrape the roof of a higher car like an SUV without realizing it, based on the low angle of the branch that arches over the spot:
(Screengrab: WECT6, WBBH, YANELLY GUZMAN, CAPE CORAL POLICE DEPARTMENT, CNN)
Guzman’s car did sustain some damage along the A-pillar in the form of a dent, and the tree’s bark was scraped off a bit where it encountered her 2020-ish Toyota RAV4:
(Screengrab: WECT6, WBBH, YANELLY GUZMAN, CAPE CORAL POLICE DEPARTMENT, CNN)
That’s an annoying panel to replace/fix on most cars or SUVs, and the scraped bark on the tree may grow back a bit, but even if not the extent of the damage makes any real harm to the tree pretty unlikely. I’m no arborist, but I have done similar things to trees with cars and other implements, and so far my hands and conscience have remained fairly free of sap-stains.
Here’s a Gulf Coast News interview with Guzman about the event:
Okay, let’s get right to the maddening part. Because she wished to file an insurance claim and because Guzman seems like someone who follows the rules, she met in January with a Cape Coral police officer to issue a report about the tree-scraping incident. Instead of just taking the report, though, the police officer decided to arrest Guzman on hit-and-run charges and took her to jail.
To jail! He took this woman to jail for scraping a tree! Why the hell would that be considered necessary in any context? Was the tree community demanding this unrepentant tree-scraper be taken off the streets? Was the community of Cape Coral made safer by handcuffing and putting this woman in jail? This is absurd, and Guzman had to pay $150 in bail to be freed.
When WECT6 reached out to the police department, they said
“For every call, we assess if there is a crime involved. In this case, the facts clearly match up with the criteria for a hit-and-run, a misdemeanor crime.”
This is, of course, incredible idiocy. To really put an idiotic cherry on this heaping, dripping sundae of stupidity, you need to know what the police officer told Guzman she should have done:
“Guzman says the officer told her she should have left her name, car registration number and her phone number in a note hanging in the tree.”
W, it’s worth noting, T.F.
She should have left her information and phone number hanging in the fucking tree? What would that have done? Let the squirrel whose job it is to inspect the tree get that information to the common grackle that lives in the tree and works for the owner of that T.J. Maxx parking lot? This is absurd.
It may be absurd and comical to us, but Guzman is out over $4,000 even though the state attorney general’s office dropped the charges due to insufficient evidence, and Guzman is severely shaken and disturbed by the whole mess. I know what jail can be like for people very unsuited to jail, because I once had to bail my own parents out. It messed them up, and it makes sense Guzman would have similar repercussions.
This is some Kafkaesque-level of bureaucratic destructive foolishness. Guzman’s life would have been immeasurably better had the police never been involved at all. Involving the police made no one’s experience better; rather, it complicated and harmed everyone involved for no clear benefit whatsoever.
The tree was unavailable for comment.
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(top image: WECT6, WBBH, YANELLY GUZMAN, CAPE CORAL POLICE DEPARTMENT, CNN)
I’d probably be facing serious time because I’d have taken out the battery chainsaw I keep in the truck for removing fallen trees from the road and sawed off the offending branch so no one else’s car gets damaged. Anyway don’t call the cops unless it’s a crime not to or you are in danger you can’t handle. Regardless of their mottos helping the public is not their job. Policing it is, it’s right in the name, and that’s not usually helpful on an individual level.
The worst part is, even if she sues and is successful (which is unlikely), chances are the cop gets a six month paid vacation and the settlement money comes out of the taxpayers’ pockets. There will be no real consequences to any of the guilty parties.
Prove me wrong, Florida.
This is arbor-rent
I might theorize that it was a “Best defense is a good offense” on the part of the city to avoid being sued, but the parking lot is very likely privately owned, so the city has no liability. And there was no mention of a “Sign this non-litigation form and you go free” from the City Attorney.
My second guess is either the cop was angry about being called out for something he considers so much beneath his calling or he needed some arrests for the month.
None of the above are justification for the arrest.
Jason‘s article about his parents being arrested is the first article by him that I ever read, in 2020. I’ve been a huge fan ever since and try to read everything he writes.
Thank you, Jason, you always make me smile
Welcome to the land of Ask Gary/Morgan & Morgan vs. Roscoe P. Coltrane/Boss Hogg… the only winning move is (to move (away)). Seriously. Inept public “servants” against greedy, predatory assbags. Out of luck.(PS – Lady 100% in the clear here – it’s everyone else (from cops to atty’s after the fact, who will fail her)
That cop is on track for deputy Attorney General.
Maybe he can prosecute the Lee County Sheriff, who’s on track for Inmate #176359.
If the tree was a Black Walnut, they would have shot it several times for menacing that woman.
Must have been a White Oak
Or if the tree dropped an acorn
An alternate viewpoint, the cop arrested her for being silly enough to file a police report and thinking that the city is going to pay for damages after she hit the tree. It’s not like the tree jumped in front of her. She just wasn’t spatially aware of her surroundings. When he told her to leave a note in the tree he was mocking her. What she should have done was moved her car, inspected the damage, called herself a dumbass and moved on with her day.
That’s not a crime either you worm
Maybe she just needed the police report to file an insurance claim? Who says she was going to sue the city?
Looks like we finally have a bootlicker here (make that plural if you count whoever liked Phil Layshio’s comment)
And apparently also a c!cksucker.
I’m a cocksucker and a boot licker (who’s cock? Who’s boots?) for pointing out someone’s absolute silliness about calling the police over a low-hanging tree branch. The cop literally told her to put a note in the tree. HE WAS MOCKING HER. She did something very silly, and the fact that you have to call me names because you don’t like my opinion says a lot about you.
I think you can like your own comments, so..Edit: nope just tried..
Store parking lots are not generally owned by the city. She was told to file a report by her District Manager so the store would pay for the damage. So it sure seems like she did, in fact, tell the owner of the tree, or at least someone somewhat responsible for the tree. And in any event, she would likely need a report to file a claim against her OWN insurance, should she want to go that route.
Something doesn’t add up with this story. But as someone who lives near Cape Coral, the place is a pretty renowned shithole.