Holy crap! Somehow, I’ve made it through a full week of a daily feature, a feat of regularity and consistency that I will happily admit is not a core strength of mine. But I did it! For every day this week, I have had an old Commodore PET computer randomly pick a page number, then I looked up that page in my copy of Craig Cheetham’s 2005 book The World’s Worst Cars, which I maintain is more accurately a book of interesting cars. I then looked at what the featured car was on that page, and did my best to try and convince you that the car shown there did not deserve this ignominy of being featured in a book called The World’s Worst Cars. Was I successful? Sure, why not? Who’s going to say otherwise? Craig Cheetham? I mean, maybe, on the off chance he even finds out I’m doing this and, somehow, gives a shit. But screw it, there’s cars to redeem! Let’s go to the computer and pick a new page!
As you may recall, the method used to select what car to redeem from the book is highly sophisticated: I write a small BASIC program into my Commodore PET to pick a random number, which references a page number, and whatever car happens to be on that page is the car I redeem.
Which page will the PET Pick? Let’s see!
Page 299 it is! Okay! Let’s see what we have on page 299:
Holy shit. Craig, are you kidding me? The Oldsmobile Toronado? One of the coolest Oldsmobiles to ever olds a mobile? What kind of absurd criteria were you using, Craig? No, no no no. This can not stand. Nope. Not on my watch.
The Oldsmobile Toronado was one of those cars that reminds you, oh yeah, when GM decides they actually want to do something cool, they can bring engineering might to the table like almost no one else. Sometimes they seem to just get tired of doing things boring and expected and out of nowhere comes a rear-engined Corvair or a rope-drive transaxle Tempest or a mid-engine Fiero or the electric EV-1 and you realize holy crap, these guys aren’t fucking around. The Toronado, one of America’s first mass-produced front-wheel drive cars since the Cord 810/812 in the 1930s, was definitely an example of this.
The Toronado started out as, of all things, a big painting. A painting of an idea for a possible personal luxury car, painted by Oldsmobile designer David North, back in 1962. It was just a bold design study, not seriously intended to be produced. But fate has a funny way of working sometimes, and it was decided that there was a need to compete with Ford’s Thunderbird (and even GM’s own Riviera) in the “personal luxury” segment, and Oldsmobile picked North’s painting as the place to start.
The car wasn’t originally supposed to be front wheel drive; but GM had been working on FWD for quite some time, and this became a perfect opportunity.
FWD gave the Toronado an interesting technical differentiator, as well as packaging advantages like a totally flat floor.
The drivetrain, essentially an Olds Rocket V8 engine combined with a transaxle, became the Unitized Power Package (UPP) and fit a whole drivetrain in an engine bay no larger than a conventional front engine/rear-drive car. That’s quite a triumph! That same UPP was used to power the GM Motorhome, too! Plus, there’s real advantages to FWD, especially when compared to the big front/rear cars of the era, like improved traction, which ads of the era definitely played up:
…and, of course, in commercials, too:
These cars were sleek and fast, with engines making close to 400 hp! What is Craig thinking? These were technologically innovative, strikingly designed, fast, comfortable – how is that worst of anything?
GM sold about 41,000 of these their first year – not huge numbers for GM, but not small numbers, either. The book suggests that GM didn’t get their investment back from the project, and while, sure, later FWD cars ended up being transverse instead of longitudinal and a fundamentally different approach, the Toronado platform also went on to underpin the Cadillac Eldorado and, let’s just keep it simple here, these cars are simply cool.
I mean, it’s the only car I can think of that ever offered – as part of its hidden headlamp setup – a way to change grille designs at the flick of a switch:
Look at that! Lights off, honeycomb grille, lights on, you have an egg-crate design. What other car has a dynamically changing grille?
Maybe the Toronado wasn’t a runaway success and didn’t get GM to switch all their cars to longitudinal FWD by 1975. It didn’t. But it also was a memorable, remarkable car that still inspires fascination today. There’s no way that’s worst anything, Craig. Jeez.
Okay, everyone, please rip out page 299 from your copy of The World’s Worst Cars. Thank you.
An old friend of mine, Jack, owned a Toronado in the late seventies, early eighties. He used to head up into the Rockies with it and would regale me with tales of how, on snow, one quick shove of the throttle was all it needed to straighten up a slide. You have NO IDEA how glamorous this sounded to a kid growing up in the south west of Ireland…
Yeah this one had way too much cool dripping off of it to be in a worst category-unless we’re on an Opposites Day.
brochure: ‘.. greatest adventure since the wedel was invented’
WFT is a wedel and how is it associated with adventure?
Also known as the wedeln, it’s a type of turn on snow skis, developed by Austrians in the 1950s.
I always swore I would give either my Father or son a Toronado Diesel as revenge or the perfect first car for a wild youngster. If you ever experienced its acceleration or lack thereof. It was the only car my 71 VW Superbeetle could beat in a 0-60 race,
Sure, it was roomy, but getting out of the back was not for anyone over 30. And the trunk was useless.
I let out a genuine LOL when I saw a Toronado in the topshot. Really Craig? Did someone at publishing fuck with you and substitute the word “best” with “worst”? This is probably my favorite non-Silhouette Oldsmobile! (I understand this undermines my argument).
I have read a couple of “worst car” books, but not this one. The vibe I got from one of those authors was he was out to make jokes, use hyperbole, and ridicule cars instead of making cogent arguments about why they were among the worst cars ever made. Kind of like the YouTubers and bloggers of today who are actually trolls, offering the worst most-ridiculous takes on stuff as an attempt to get people riled up and increase their engagement numbers.
Someone gave me this book because it has the Subaru SVX in it (I think) and this book is utter trash. I am pretty sure I recycled it. Terrible book.
Wait, the book’s entire argument against the Toronado was that they didn’t get their investment back? The ’66 Toronado was a halo car, of which 41,000 is a good amount, they sold plenty of them over it’s production run, amortized the development costs over other vehicles, and learned a lot about things like CV joints and other front-wheel drive elements that they probably still use today.
I wish I could find a version of this book to read because I feel like half of it’s just “I don’t like this car” being turned into “Worst car of [year].” As far as I know, for actually verifiable terrible cars that were bad based on their own merits, that list would only be maybe fifty cars in 2005. A boring car or unusual styling doesn’t make a car bad.
For a few examples Oldsmobile Jetfire, 1958 Chrysler Imperial, Porsche 914, FIAT Multipla, Dodge Spirit, and Datsun 120Y, while often made fun of, aren’t bad cars. The Jetfire is maligned because of people not understanding the engineering, the Imperial gets made fun of because of a single styling detail on the trunk, and the FIAT Multipla was a funky car made for 1998 that people turned against once the fun of the ’90s was over and people turned more cynical. The Oldsmobile Starfire, Chevrolet Citation, and diesel FIAT Strada from the 1980s are however bad cars, because they put the owners in danger and just fail to do the duties of a car. The Starfire had rust issues so bad it caused leaks and failures in the brake lines, the Citation often failed to start, caught on fire often, rusted out from under you, and would spin out while braking, and the FIAT Strada had issues holding itself together, caused multiple accidents the handling was so terrible, and teamed up with the Oldsmobile Diesel V8 to ruin the reputation of diesel vehicles in the U.S.
I bet you the Starfire and the Strada aren’t in that book but the 914 and 120Y are.
Toronados rule! Craig was on crack
Also, was just reading more Autopian old articles which are awesome and found this:
https://www.theautopian.com/our-daydreaming-auto-designer-reimagines-a-more-modern-version-of-the-legendary-gmc-motorhome-that-died-in-1978/
Unitized Power Package also powered arguably the greatest motorhome of all time: The GMC motorhome.
Also the line “Puts the traction where the action is” is arguably the best one line advertisement for FWD that ever has been.
At times I imagine what could have been if GM put the full force of their engineering behind the Unitized Power Package. Imagine it with a Chevrolet 454 and a smaller variant with a Chevrolet 350,
Imagine it powering an El Camino designed for it, with a lower deck height.
A light duty Chevy van.
It would have been really damn cool.
I imagine it in the back of a RWD sports car.
That too, Like a slightly larger Fiero with a ton more power potential.
Yeah it certainly was not “one of the worst” and not even a bad car, also not the best car ever, but definitely a good car in its day. The UPP also wasn’t a dead end after this generation the downsized models retained the same basic architecture, just scaled down a bit.
Umm… Yeah. The UPP was anything but a dead end for GM. The engineering effort behind it launched them ahead of competitors in FWD designs. And while other carmakers were wrestling torque steer, GM basically said “Hold my beer…” and cranked increasingly powerful 6- and 8-cylinder FWD cars.
Let’s not forget the Corgi models with their Golden Jacks removable wheels. I had the Toronado, and they also did a Rover P6. I think the Hillman Hunter rally car may have also had Golden Jacks.
Craig Cheetham is a total hack
Far be it from me to cr*p on an author trying to get a bag — especially since Craig’s written several more books than I have — but I am baffled by the selections in this book. Keep at it, Torch!
I wanted to pause and bring up a few points that I felt were a bit glossed over:
Did this thing understeer like it had no wheels?
Did it shed so much power from those complicated workings you’d gain meaningful acceleration if it were pulled by a dogsled team?
Did it have so much torque steer it could rip the arms off a brawny dude?
I am genuinely curious about all the compromises that were made to make this car remotely driveable.
I mean after the transmission and the weird chain drive system took their share of power, you weren’t getting anywhere near that much power to the front wheels. Also it was rated at 400hp in the old way of measuring power, which was without any accessories on an engine dyno with basically open headers, so realistically it wasn’t making nearly that much once fully dressed and with a full exhaust. Especially once you get into the emissions years, power went down hard.
It did understeer a bit, but not severely. The Unitized Power Package did pretty well eliminate any trace of torque steer though, longitudinal engine with equal length drive shafts
It wasn’t the unitized power package by 1979 and way down on power, but this from Car & Driver is still relevant.
https://cdn-fastly.thetruthaboutcars.com/media/2022/06/29/8606853/thursday-trivia-you-coulda-had-a-v-8.jpg?size=720×845&nocrop=1
“Psychosteer”
Stealing that one.
That poor left front tire!
Yikes!
I never drove one myself, but from reports, none of the above. It was pretty quick for its day (especially considering the weight) and understeered the same or less than the typical comparable RWD car of the time (the FWD was often credited with making it a superior handling car). Back then, RWD wasn’t fetishized as it is today by self-styled track day superheroes, Real Performance Car(TM) gate keepers, and Fantasy Land Insta boys who claim they do MaD Dr!F2Rz yo around every corner to the grocery store with their security stuffed animal flinging sideways from the tow hooks. FWD was often an improvement in handling compared to the typical domestic with a live axle on leaf springs that would wind up and hop, horrible weight distribution, flexible BoF chassis, and terrible tires. Torque steer was kept in check by equal length axles, all that weight on the wheels, and probably a bit by those terrible, skinny tires that would spin instead of pulling all over.
Please keep this feature going Torch. Please?
To echo everyone else, including the Toronado in this book was a bad choice. I have to wonder if the author of the book Jason is looking at is a car enthusiast or just a normal person looking into the automotive universe?
I’ll give an example of the latter that I personally experienced. Fifteen or so years ago reviewed a book on cars years that an author friend was about to publish, and my thoughts on cars couldn’t have clashed more with my friend and the co-author’s ideas. They tried to be objective on their selection on the criteria used for “good” and “bad” cars, with stuff like sales figures, seating arrangements, cargo space, all aggregated into a tiered result. Unfortunately, it unintentionally resulted in a list of all-time best selling cars as the best cars and poor selling (or limited-production) cars as worst cars. I knew my friend was not a car person, but I learned the co-author wasn’t either as soon as I saw the Toyota Camry listed as the best car of all-time and the McLaren F1 as the worst. I gave them my (rather negative) feedback and never heard if the book was ever actually published, but it gave me insight into how non-enthusiasts think about automobiles.
Agree – I own a Camry and if you want a car that will go the distance without problems it is your best choice. They are reliable, durable and rugged. Is it a good car? Yes. A great car? Depends on your priorities. An exciting car? Look elsewhere.
The Camry is, without question, the best car to tell your mom to buy.
Well, I did that, she bought one, and has spent the past couple of years complaining about the road noise and how hard and uncomfortable the seats are. New tires have mostly solved the noise issue, but she still says the seats are terrible
That’s surprising, but I also don’t actually fit in any modern Toyotas so it’s not actually something I can test.
The fact that I don’t fit in Toyotas is why I specified moms instead of parents. Dads are more likely to have my weird shape.
Rented one a few years ago. By several days in to the road trip, my back hurt so badly that I took time out of my vacation to detour and swap it for a Nissan. A year later I got assigned a Corolla rental, same thing. Now I know to refuse renting the brand for my back’s sake.
Today’s edition is top notch! The Concours de Lemons had me cracking up! Great commentary on some obscure cars. And I’m with you Jason, tear out page 299. The Toronado was (is?) awesome. Promise to re up my subscription as soon as my check comes in the mail. Best Regards, Rich
Toronado (and contemporary Eldorado) for the win.
And contemporary Riviera.
However Riviera remained RWD until 1979.
Based on what we’ve seen the first week, this book seems like the basis for an epic car collection.
Little bit off topic, but I love the use of the PET computer. We had those when I was in grade school (early 80s). They did not have floppy disks; instead there was a cassette player on top and you had to press play and wait FOREVER for the program to load via cassette tape. I cannot believe there is still a working PET computer in existence, but apparently there is, and it makes sense that Torch would have it.
The 8-Bit Guy on Youtube has at least two of them, along with a bunch of variations of the Commodore 64, 1471 disk drives, the stupidly rare Commodore modem, and some Commodore monitors.
EDIT: I’m pretty sure he also has a VIC-20 somewhere as well. Thought that might’ve been loaned to him for a video.
That is excellent. I will have to search for that.
Load, 8, 1
This is a really bizarre entry. I’ve seen countless “worst” lists and generally they touch on the same vehicles/tropes. I’ve never come across the Toronado in any of these type of lists.
A buddy had one of these decades ago and wow it was really good in Minnesota winters. LOTS of mass over the drive wheels.
That is an objectively insane choice to put into a book of worst cars. It’s gorgeous, it’s a technological achievement, and it didn’t have any major problems.
This is one of those things GM doesn’t get celebrated for enough…not only was it innovative, it just plain worked. When they really do something innovative and actually put their technical might into it, GM makes that innovative thing work pretty well. The FI Corvette back in ‘57, with proper tuning, worked pretty well. The Corvair worked pretty well. The Toronado worked well. Definitely does not deserve to be on any sort of “worst car” list.
Exactly!