Most journalists reviewing a vehicle’s design or performance may say a handful of critical things here or there if a vehicle deserves it. Few get really creative. That’s where Adrian Clarke comes in. Our resident car-designing goth Brit doesn’t hold back, and golly, it’s always worth the read.
Today, Adrian went on a rant about the new Ford Capri, which is based on Volkswagen bones and looks like a no-copyright version of a Polestar. You couldn’t get enough of it. IRegertNothing, Esq. is with the rest of us on living Adrian’s fiery insults:
I’m always ready for a fresh batch of Goth Uncle’s British insults.
“Paintdrinking thunder cock” I’m guessing you wanted to use another slang term for genitalia that starts with a C, but as my English father has already found out that particular c-word is considered far more vulgar in much of the greater English-speaking world than it is in the UK.
“Shiny suited worm eater” Love it. It immediately gave me the mental image of a guy who has failed upwards his entire life and has no connection with the people he thinks will love him for bringing the Capri back.
Never change, Adrian!
Earlier today, Jason wrote about the Simca Rallye and mentioned how racing versions have an idiot light about the size of a speedometer. TheDrunkenWrench’s comment resonates with me:
If my terrible previous relationship choices are anything to go by, I could gleefully ignore that red flag light for months while my passengers scream at me about it.
If I didn’t ignore big red lights I wouldn’t own a bunch of Volkswagens, would I?
For a rare departure, I’m going to throw in a COTD nom from yesterday’s COTD. Drew found a way to confuse our readers even more:
We just need a writer named Benz for maximum brand confusion. Or at least Ben Z.
“Mercedes, Ben Z Embark on Overlanding Adventure”
At a glance, you expect a factory overlanding Sprinter. Instead, you are pleasantly surprised to learn it’s two Autopian writers showing how they can cross all sorts of terrain in a lifted Smart full of camping gear.
Finally, Groover has revealed our website’s dirty secret:
Good thing The Autopian runs on “an IBM PCjr floating in a kiddie pool of rust-water in David Tracy’s crawlspace”, eh?
Harvey Firebirdman also got me with:
I picture this website just runs off a monkey using an old telephone style panel to patch things through an old rusty ass RV being pulled by a Willy’s.
That’s terrible, I love it. Have a great weekend, everyone!
Pretty sure “Thundercock Metallic” is a Mustang color
This may be Peter’s best top shot ever
Seriously. This website always brings its A-game on top shots, but Adrian going full X-Men Cyclops on a car may never be topped except by one of Torch going full Street Fighter on a car.
New Tinder profile pic right there.
Oh, that’ll pull them in!
I’m really worried it’s all downhill from here. He can’t keep getting away with this
Regarding the C-word, I think the difference is mainly in that in the UK, it’s used against men, whereas in the rest of the English-speaking world, it’s used against women. Basically, it’s saying a woman is worthless save a single part of her body, specifically in its value to men.
…which I’m sure everyone probably already knew, making this bit of mansplaining absolutely unnecessary save for the purpose of just putting it out there.
Though that being said, it is kind of a double standard in that calling a guy a dick is pretty insulting, but nowhere’s near the level of socially unacceptable as calling a women, well, that. On the other hand, using an offensive term for female genitalia against a guy is basically saying that he’s so much of a tool that his own genitalia has become inverted…
…I’ve put too much thought into this, haven’t I?
When you say “the rest of the English-speaking world” I agree that it’s debatable whether Aussies actually speak English! Over there, the C-word is used as much as a term of endearment as anything else, as in “Ow’s it hangin’, ya mad c***?”. It can be used as an affectionate greeting or used for relatively gentle abuse, and is equally applied to men, women, and a significant chunk of native fauna. There is also a very good chance that it occasionally gets used excessively, purely for the joy of winding up any nearby overly-sensitive Americans 🙂
This fella’s alright. He’s a good c**t.
You have definitely put too much thought in to this.
In the UK at least it’s used as the highest ranking swear word, with no reference to it’s roots as a body part. The worst swear could any other word: oubliette, gundle, spunkerchief, anything at all and it’d be used the same way. It’s an indicator of scale.
A German friend of mine has pointed out that most English insults are just body parts, whereas in other languages insults are more complex. I lack the language skills to confirm this.
When it comes to offending Americans the bar can be set very, very low. I once saw a woman in Indiana try to slap her teenage daughter for blasphemy after using the phrase “oh my god” in a pizza restaurant.
While I also suspect that other languages I know are far more creative than English, my level of fluence isn’t the same – I learned what I know from Star Trek, Asimov and Doctor Who, hardly the best source for cursing.
I any case, I noticed that US English swear words revolves mostly around fuck, shit, sex acts and combinations thereof, while Brits tend to elaborate more – both on word variety and on situations.
That being said, my favourite movie cursing scene in any language is still anything with R. Lee Ermey in Full Metal Jacket.
This isn’t mansplaining, because you’re not patronising women, you’re just venting your theories. And this is useful for those of us that aren’t native English speakers.
Where are all the British goth cars?
I want one?
Need not be wrathful BTW, I’d settle for indignant.
I draw the line at petulant. Been there done that. No more British petulance for me.
Another familiar car name becomes a CUV.
A new meaning for Capri pants.
Woo! For once, my terrible taste in partners has paid off!