Welcome back to Shitbox Showdown! I feel like I’ve been too easy on you all recently, choosing cars that, you know, run and drive and all. It’s been a bit since I subjected you to some truly stupid ideas. That changes today.
But first, let’s see how yesterday’s little Japanese fastbacks did. I had high hopes for the Storm, because I do love them so, but that trashed interior scared off too many of you, and the Prelude sailed to an easy win. Oh, and by the way, I know some of you said that color is actually blue, and Honda may call it blue, but on my monitor, that sucker’s purple.
Whatever color you call it, it’s probably the better deal. But the Geo Storm has been a car-crush of mine for a long time, and scruffy interior or not, I think I’d have to choose it, if faced with the choice between these two. Upholstery can be re-done, a dash top could become a quest, and Martini livery would liven up the white exterior nicely.
I don’t know what possessed me to choose today’s cars, but I suspect it might have something to do with music. Yesterday, I was walking through the shop at my day job, and someone had the stereo on, playing a Spotify playlist of 1980s pop hits, and I heard a song I haven’t heard in ages: “Crazy,” by the criminally-underrated Australian band Icehouse. “You gotta be crazy, baby,” go the lyrics, “to want a guy like me.” The line came back to me when I saw the ad for one of these cars, and then I remembered seeing something equally insane while poking around yesterday. So to quote another ’80s pop star: let’s go crazy.
1993 Mitsubishi 3000GT – $3,500
Engine/drivetrain: 5.3-liter overhead valve V8, six-speed manual (not installed), RWD
Location: Dallas, TX
Odometer reading: unknown
Runs/drives? Um, no
We seem to be dealing in tired automotive clichés this week, so let’s add another one: LS swaps. Yes, that’s right: this formerly V6-powered, front-wheel-drive Japanese coupe now sports a Chevy LS3 small-block V8 and a four-linked solid rear axle. The six-speed manual gearbox and custom-made driveshaft that are supposed to go between them are, at the moment, several yards away on the garage floor, along with everything else you might need to actually complete this Frankenstein’s monster.
This is major surgery: the original Mitsubishi V6 sat transversely in the engine bay, driving the front wheels–or possibly all four, though I can’t imagine anyone hacking up a rare twin-turbo 3000GT VR4 to do this. The seller didn’t do the work, either, it sounds like; they bought someone else’s project, and now they’re trying to foist it off on someone else. How well was the work done? What is the history of the donor engine? There’s no way to know unless you dive in.
To say that this project is not for the faint of heart is the understatement of the year. You will have to be an absolute wrenching god, and probably more than a little crazy, to pull it off. And I’m not quite sure I understand the point. 3000GTs are nice cars as-is–just ask our buddy Stephen Walter Gossin,who knows its sister model, the Dodge Stealth, inside and out. Why rip it all apart just to stuff a V8 where it doesn’t belong?
And yet, now that that ship has well and truly sailed, I’d like to see someone actually finish this car, just to see what it’s like. The LS is a hell of an engine, which is why it’s such a popular swap. But is this the right vessel for it? Would you just end up with a half-assed Japanese Camaro wannabe after all that hard work? Only one way to find out, I guess.
2006 Maserati Quattroporte – $1,700
Engine/drivetrain: 4.2 liter dual overhead cam V8, six-speed automated manual, RWD
Location: Winnetka, CA
Odometer reading: 75,000 miles
Runs/drives? Let’s just say it doesn’t do one eighty-five
Poor Maserati. The Italian automaker has built some absolutely magnificent cars over the decades, but here in America, they’re mostly remembered for a fragile twin-turbo nightmare and a gussied-up Chrysler LeBaron. After the TC debacle, Maserati left the US market for more than a decade. Since returning in 2002, the memory of the carburetor-fed Biturbo and the porthole-topped K-car have been pushed aside by a snarling 4.2 liter Ferrari-built V8 – but the dismal reliability and its resulting depreciation are the same as always.
In this flagship Quattroporte sedan, that Ferrari engine is backed by a six-speed “DuoSelect” automated manual transmission. I’ve been curious about clutchless manuals like this ever since they appeared, but I’ve never gotten to drive one. Apparently, there is an automatic mode, but what you’re really supposed to do is shift with the paddles on the steering wheel.
You won’t be able to do that with this Quattroporte, at least not without some work. It has no key, which is almost certainly an electronic fob that costs as much as the car is being sold for, and worse, no title, instead being supplied with lien paperwork. My guess is that the seller runs a towing company, towed the car away, and no one claimed it. How and why it ended up being towed is, of course, the real mystery, but I think it’s safe to say that this car has Seen Some Things.
And as if the non-running status and the lack of a key and a title weren’t enough, it has also suffered the indignity of a partial matte-black vinyl wrap. That, of course, will have to go. But it’s seventeen hundred bucks for a car with a Ferrari engine. Is that engine any good? Who knows? All I know is that its interior is really pretty and that V8 absolutely sings when it is running.
Obviously, either of these is a really, really stupid idea. So let’s be stupid for a minute. Imagine you have a well-stocked garage and just a little bit of madness. Which one of these hopeless causes intrigues you more?
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
What an interesting pair of cars to compare this morning!
Each one is like a puzzle, and while I’m not a mechanic, I do enjoy puzzles and mysteries, so both are intriguing to me.
The Mitsubishi is a cool car, but it really is the ultimate mechanic’s challenge. Not one but two previous mechanics have looked at it and decided: “Nope, not worth the effort.” It would be a tremendous challenge to get it all put together and working — and the new owner who makes that happen would rightly earn a sense of pride in the accomplishment.
I have a friend who enjoys working on cars. He doesn’t want to own a big collection of cars, though, so he’ll buy a wreck from Craigslist, get it presentable in his spare time, and then sell it for just about what he put into it. For him, it’s not about turning a profit or even winding up with another functional car — instead, wrenching is his hobby, and he just enjoys the process. This could be a fun car for someone like him who really wants to prove his wrenching prowess.
The Maserati is also a mystery. With no key, who knows what’s in store? Who would leave their exotic Italian car after it had been towed — especially with such a low asking price? Who could the previous owner have been? An absentminded eccentric millionaire? A baller-on-a-budget low-level drug dealer? What might one find in the trunk??? It’s a mystery box! Open it up and embark on an adventure!
Personally, I’m not over the moon about the Maserati. It has a beautiful name and makes a lovely sound, but to me it looks like it could be a Buick. It’s just not to my tastes.
That said, I still voted for it. It seems like the more interesting option. You can find non-running “someone else’s incomplete projects” all the time, but an enigma wrapped in a riddle like the Maserati is truly unique.
Your friend sounds pretty cool. I’d have a beer with that guy!
The Mitsubishi, but only if I had the $$ & time to do this.
http://www.evalbum.com/img/5446/5446i.jpg – http://www.evalbum.com/5446
Mazer, my man. Definitely would be buying that and probably tinker with it for a bit before parting it out. Or maybe try to shoehorn that Ferrari engine into something like a Bradley kit car. As I’ve discovered with my 2000 XK8, sometimes the car can be had for peanuts, but god-forbid one needs a headlight or some obscure trim part. Ebay’s the only hope and even the crappy examples seem to go for $$$’s.
Fellow XK8 and XK owner here and I feel your pain.
It’s a wicked bummer to source trim for what are otherwise awesome cars.
The Mitsubishi, but only if I had the money to do this – http://www.evalbum.com/5446
Maserati. Part it! Sell the drivetrain and de-wrapped body parts. Use the dash, console and seat to built an awesome driving sim-cockpit!
Love the driving sim idea!
Can’t believe I’m doing this, but I have to vote for the Maserati. I never liked the 3000GTs even when they weren’t a parts car. The Maserati is essentially the same, though the parts might be worth more or worth keeping and the engine might make an interesting swap for something and it does seem like there’s at least the chance it could be a runner again. The Mitsubishi is junk as even a shell, since it has to have been altered and the value isn’t there to repair what might be serious damage. Too bad, as it’s a nice color.
I voted Maserati because well I don’t know why. I would never buy either even if I won a billion dollars and had my own mechanic on staff.
I’m going Maserati just to pull the engine and swap it into something interesting… Like a c4 corvette
Buy both and put the Ferrari engine in place of the LS and the LS into the Maserati. Then drive the nice car every day.
When building a car out of parts, there’s something to be said for having a specific, well-defined place for all the parts you’re installing.
An LS swap is a great project, but it’s an even better one if you’re not trying to be the first one to swap one into a particular chassis. Not knowing for sure that it eventually CAN fit is an incredibly powerful de-motivator for most backyard mechanics.
No question, the Maserati is the better choice.
And if you find the Ferrari engine roached and don’t feel like paying the Prancing Horse Tax to get it going, you could probably LS swap that one easier than the Mitsubishi and still end up with something far more interesting and desirable when you’re finished. That might even be cheaper than replacing the Maserati key…
Both of these seem like one-way tickets to the Wheel of Pain, but I’d take the Maserati only because I at least stand a snowball’s chance in hell of figuring out the title, key fob, and paint issues. A bespoke transmission? No way.
Exactly. Looks like throwing money at the Maserati would at least temporarily fix it (who’da thunk!?!?). That 3000 GT mashup is money, bruised knuckles and at least one relationship you’d be down, for sure.
The Mitsu is wrecking yard ballast at this point, there is no saving that disaster, just give up and junk it. And an older Maserati of unknown condition with no keys and no title is just a bottomless black hole for throwing vast but as yet untold amounts of money down.
I vote buy the Maserati and part it out on ebay.
Not sure of the cost, but it’s likely reasonable to replace the Graziano DuoSelect in the Maserati with the ZF 6HP26 that was put in the 2008s and later, which performs well and is very reliable.
As a result, the Maserati is probably the easier one to save, and actually will be *reasonable* to deal with. It needs serious exterior work, and interior ergonomics are a thing, but it’s probably the better pick. It’s effort, but likely worth it. Just needs some constant TLC.
If we were talking about a 2008 GTS, it wouldn’t even be a question, but a 2008 GTS wouldn’t be on Shitbox Showdown.
Holy jeebus no!
Since there isn’t a, “No thanks, I’ll just walk,” option I’m going for the Mitsubishi.
I’ll put the drivetrain in something meant to have it, and sell off the Mitsubishi parts. Lets be honest, these are both parts cars, and LS parts and Mitsubishi parts will likely be a lot easier to sell than the Maserati parts.
Somethings not right here. I’ve got to guess that even a blown Ferrari engine is, by itself, worth way more than $1700?
I’ve got to wonder if the towing company knows something they aren’t sharing. Like the “owner” is a local drug lord who is looking to reclaim his car? With extreme malice?
I was all set to pick the 3000GT; I’ve dealt with Maser-adjacent engines (Citroën SM) and am not sure if I’m ready. But then I saw the absolute mess that Mitsubishi is in, and the Maser looks complete, so I’d go for the Maserati.
Nothing says “excellent driving dynamics” by the… I’m guessing… 70/30 weight distribution that’s going to result from mashing that engine into the front of the Mitsu?
I’ll give a slight nod to the Mas. Yes, actually getting it running is going to be a Homer’s Odyssey that’ll start with the DMV to get clear title to take to your, uh… local Maserati dealership (local being relative here) so they can cut a key, but you’ll have something that you can explain in a single sentence to anyone who asks if you ever manage to get it onto the road.
I wouldn’t think there’ll be much weight difference between them as long as that’s an alloy block (OHV engines are light and compact for their displacement and it will have a lower cg as well without OHCs and being a 90 degree V instead of a 60) plus the LS is set a good deal back with the transmission (well, if it was there) behind it versus the transverse V6 engine and transmission hanging out ahead of the front axle. I don’t know the difference in weight between the live axle and former dead axle in the rear, though the live axle will have to weigh more, helping F/R distribution even further (though, why they didn’t swap in the independent AWD rear end, IDK, but this sounds like it was started by a dummy in a hold-my-beer moment).
My Maserati does 185
I lost my Key Fob, now I don’t drive â”—(･ω･;)â”›
OMG what a disaster.
The Maser wins for the teeny tiny gear shifter.
If not ruined, that engine is worth some big bucks. Ferrari wins.
I’m more scared by the Mitsu. Is there ANY engineering in the front structure mods? I can at least admire the Maserati as sculpture or part out. Agree the engine is beautiful. May be better to LS and GM auto swap it, at least you then have gorgeous rolling sculpture. The Mitsu just looks wrecked, suitable for living life a 1/4 mile at a time.
What, you have an issue with gas pipe engine mounts?
As a degreed Mechanical Engineer I say yes.
Realistically you’re buying either one of these for the engine right? And in that case you definitely gotta go for the Maserati!
Give the Mazz a good wash, strip off that stupid wrap, and that’s at least $1700 worth of prestige just sitting in your driveway, even if it never goes anywhere. Can pull out the motor as others have suggested and make a bitchin’ coffee table. If you are really committed, and also committed to hiring a lawyer to sort out the title mess, then there is the remote chance you’ve gotten a hell of a deal on a really nice, really fun Italian luxo-barge. Definitely wouldn’t bet money on that possibility if there wasn’t already value to be had, but could be fun for the bold.
For years, I’ve had an idiotic idea of taking the V8 from a Maser and putting it in a Deuce coupe or T-bucket hot rod, you know, something where you can really show the engine off. This price is right for enabling such an idiotic idea.
Never thought I’d be in a position to say this but I’ll take the broken Maserati over a hand-me-down project. That scares me a lot more. Besides, if you have to cut your losses and scrap it the Maserati cheaper.
You typed exactly what I was thinking.