The world, or at least modern civilization, has gotta end somehow. Zombie apocalypse? Maybe. Rogue virus? Sure, if by that you mean “even more rogue virus,” because Covid is still very much a thing. Global warming perhaps? Dear reader, we are soaking in it. But no matter how we get out butts kicked back a good 150 years or so, we’re still going to want to get around faster than a walking pace and get to our devastated destinations in a reasonable amount of time, and no one’s going to do it by bicycle. They should, but they won’t. And sorry, the Supercharger Network will be down. So unless you’ve got a Stanley steamer stashed away, you’re going to be burning some gas. But what are you gonna burn it in, ideally?
As we’re all aware, TV and movies have been chock full of ideas for post-apocalypse mobility ever since Mads Max I and II (or The Road Warrior, for US moviegoers) packed theaters in the 80s, and cash-ins from more dubious films such as Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared Syn and Spacehunter: Adventures In The Forbidden Zone kept the vibe going, if less impressively (I do like Spacehunter‘s Scrambler though–there’s a Dodge Power Wagon under there!) Base-vehicle choices were all over the map, but all were robustly mechanical and could essentially run forever if you just kept replacing whatever wore out. If you want to tick all the boxes for apocalypse-proof transportation, I think you’d land on a Baja Bug, like the hotted-up Herbie above (incredibly, it’s a model, go look!). But good luck finding a legit old-school Beetle, Baja or otherwise, in 2023. Ditto any other all-steel, computer-free heaps you might conceivably get running after an EMP strike. Nope, you’re gonna have to figure out how to get yourself a set of reliable wheels from the pool of cars released in the last 30 years or so.
Maybe a Hyundai? The brand went in hard when The Walking Dead first hit the airwa … er, cables, as Rick and his family evaded walkers, rotters, and moaners in a Tucson. And honestly, you could do a lot worse in the immediate aftermath of a world-ending via zombies, but as the great undoing proceeds, one will want something more capable and rugged. And armed?
… which could still be a Hyundai, I suppose, with appropriate accoutrement. This one is a virtual model from the (now defunct) Walking Dead Chop Shop app that let you optimize Hyundais for dealing with the undead. But surely, we can come up with more interesting and thoughtful takes on reliable dailies for the end of days.
To the comments!
Ya’ll are going to hate this. Mitsubishi Mirage. The simplest car in the past 20 years. Light weight, fixable on ramps, excellent gas mileage, and you’re not going to be flying down the highway anyways. You’ll be dodging craters and potholes, and getting excellent MPG doing it.
A panther platform Police Interceptor (or civilian model). Lots of them out there and pretty much indestructible. Optionally I would add a dirt bike rack for places I need to squeeze though.
It would be fun to build something from Duck and Cover by Ben Wallace. It is about people surviving years after to mushroom cloud went up. One person had a semi with 50 shotguns behind the grill. Pull the trigger then evaporate anything in front of him. Then 2 hours to reload and reset.
Apocalypse writers never seem to recognize how quickly gasoline goes stale. If we are to have a realistic view where gas is no longer being produced, any gasoline powered vehicle will strand you in time.
Thus I think the best apocalypse vehicle would be an EV.
But how would I charge since the power grid is down? Simple. I would modify it by carrying a solar array to recharge the batteries.
The next obvious hurdle is battery degradation. Typical lithium ion batteries go bad in about 15 years. There is an increasingly popular chemistry that lasts virtually forever though, and that’s the LFP battery.
Until now, only the base Tesla Model 3 carried an LFP battery domestically. However, Ford is now using them in the Mustang Mach E and, starting next year, will have them in the base F150 Lightning
So my chosen apocalypse vehicle would be an LFP powered F150 Lightning modified with a solar array for charging.
I don’t care about weapons or armor. Humans are a communal species and we have always gotten further by working together. The people who bring guns to the apocalypse will be the first to die. Those who work together will last the longest and having an F150 Lightning with LFP batteries and a solar array for charging to use as a farm truck will make any commune more likely to succeed
Yes, because at no point in human history have the strongest and most violent ever been the ruling class.
Gosh this would be such a better comment section with some pictures
IMO most of these comments about diesel are missing the mark.
Sure you might be able to burn veggie oil, but every numbskull with a lifted Cummins that survived is thinking the same thing and there’s going to be a shootout at McDonalds daily until the stuff is gone.
Me, I’m setting up a still and planting corn. Growing my fuel gives me the added benefit of growing some recreational beverages at the same time.
As for the vehicle itself, many have said it, but some kind of a van or Suburban, lifted to get over obstacles, easy to armor, and fairly reliable would do the trick for me.
Looks like we had the same thought 🙂
Eat the corn when you can, drink it, or put it in your tank when you can’t!
If it’s zombies (and I really hope it is) then I’m going for something mid-engined to protect against zombie-goo related mechanical failures. The last of the mk2 MR2s are only 33 years old. Mount the radiator above the engine to protect that from goo too and you have a car that can slice through hundreds of the undead with running out of screen wash as your only worry.
Loads of room in the frunk and trunk for katanas, Toyota have diesel 2.0 that would probably fit back there too. Pop-up headlights and quad round rear lights, plus zombie proof.
Although the worst thing about any apocalypse is the other survivors, so maybe I’d just go somewhere really remote and hide.
My top pick … Unimog 437 … from early ’90s … simple diesel engine will run on anything oily that burns, over-landing capabilities by default … 7,5t truck will also accept armor.
I already own one, but it is outside your time window. ’86 Chevy CUCV M1028 5/4 truck with a utility box in it. Basic diesel in a super heavy-duty 4wd chassis. Easy to run on almost any fuel.
But if you are going to make me go newer I am breaking into a national guard base and rolling out in an LMTV.
If that is not available a rail service truck or SUV, preferably diesel, with high rail gear intact so I can travel by rail.
Plus one for MILSPEC zombie car. I like adding the option to travel by rail, too.
It’s so weird to me in all these post apocalyptic movies where people are driving basic cars it putting tons of work into modifying stuff.
There are literally military bases EVERYWHERE full of stuff designed to mount guns, armored, all terrain and able to burn all sorts of fuels…
Car: Ford Falcon RTV ute… drivetrain will last forever plus parts are plentiful and has good ground clearance… makes decent power but most importantly it’s a ute and can be fitted with a tray and canopy set up as necessary
4WD: Holden Rodeo.. the 4jj1 is mechanical and darn near unkillable… would go everywhere I should need to go and has a tray like the above
Zombie apocalypse city residents find Uber more cost effective than vehicle ownership.
I’d try to find a Volvo V70 like my old one. It would be solid. I drove over an unsighted object on a dark road one night and, while my pants were damaged, the car was badly bruised (severely dinged intercooler), but not broken. It’s slab-sided enough to apply simple armour, fitting my do-it-yourself skill level just fine. It’s comfortable for long drives and large enough to sleep in while having a lower profile (and centre of gravity) than SUVs – because I’m sure there’ll be a reason that’s useful, right? And the amount of space for carrying essential supplies is plentiful. My car was reliable enough to put a significant number of kilometres on the odometer, and it is relatively mechanically simple, though finding compatible parts may be challenging enough come the zombie apocalypse.
If the supercharger network is down, I don’t see refineries chugging along either, so gasoline is not an option either in the long run. BUT vegetal oil could be. It’s very low tech to get veg-oil and it can fuel a diesel as long as it’s old enough. I’d go for a 3.3 diesel Nissan Patrol or something.
I wonder if the tin worm will eat these faster than gasoline will take to turn into varnish…
You could use solar panels even if the grid is down. Vegetable oil often has to be cut with some diesel to work effectively or else it solidifies and jams up injectors
Mix an appropriate amount of sodium-hydroxide into the vegetable oil to help mitigate this. You will definitely have issues with gelling in cold weather even running 100% petroleum diesel.
Newer Jeep Wrangler. Parts would be plentiful and unstressed, you can fit pretty much anything in the engine bay if it breaks (392, EcoDiesel, V6, i4, Hybrid i4), great off road capability and still somewhat simple for a modern car.
A military Humvee and I would add a wood gasifier for an additional fuel source.
I hope you have a good supply of gear oil, seals, and gasket material for the wheel hubs. I spent countless hours fixing bad seals and gaskets on those hubs.
Oh, and don’t forget the spider washers to keep the wheel spindle nut from backing off and the whole wheel and spindle departing the vehicle at 8:00 on a Friday night, just outside gate 5 of Hohenfels Training Area, when your only wrecker is deadlined with a wrecked hydraulic pump. I didn’t work on that truck, but I had fun getting it back to the motorpool.
Definitely a LandCruiser 70 series, ideally a Troopie. Reliable 4WD diesel, parts are everywhere and readily available (here in Australia).
I think any small EV suv would be good. EVs are quiet and don’t attract attention. You’d want a little ground clearance at the minimum. EV power trains are far simpler than an ICE one. I’m going to say that electronics are also easier to cobble together. Finally, you’d be able to create your own fuel by setting up a solar charger, or use a small stream to turn a generator, or use wind…I think this would be the biggest advantage.
EV power trains are far simpler than an ICE one. I’m going to say that electronics are also easier to cobble together.
There is someone on my local CL trying to sell a 2014 BMW i3 with a blown electric motor electronics unit. This makes me think one would really rather have a Buick for the apocolypse.
https://sacramento.craigslist.org/cto/d/sacramento-2014-bmw-i3-ev-rex-range/7652608777.html
Excellent choice.
As a youngster, I always thought the wonderfully named Nissan TERRANO REGULUS STARFIRE 4WD would be a great choice. Based purely on looks mind you. https://www.japan-partner.com/images/67b4117de0/nissan-terrano+regulus-d2ca0bc225.jpg
That looks like a Nissan Pathfinder/Infiniti QX4 with access to a JC Whitney catalog and a credit card.
I actually have a bicycle suited for this, as it is also a microcar(and soon will be capable of 100+ mph using the motor, but pedalable to 45 mph on flat ground in a sprint when not using the motor thanks to drag reduction provided by a slippery body design), but since bicycles aren’t allowed, and since my Triumph GT6 is too old for what this article specifies, and a totally ground up build probably isn’t allowed given the article’s parameters, here’s what I have in mind:
Miata
Is
Always
The
Answer
Seriously. I’d have a Miata NB platform with a tuned 4BT Cummins swap, transmission and transfer case and other bits installed from a Mazda B2200 to convert to 4WD, custom gearing that is extra tall, a fastback kit to help with aero, Miata Italia front end, side skirts, wheel disc covers, partial grille block, lifted an extra 2.5″ on slightly larger wheels and tires for some degree of offroadability, roof and hood covered in about 300W of solar panels, and with a dual-shafted HPEVS AC motor built into the driveshaft tunnel area and 10 kWh of LiFePO4 batteries to assist the Cummins, a 50 gallon fuel tank in back taking up most of the trunk space, the chassis and suspension reworked to accommodate the increased weight this will all bring.
It’s going to weigh around 2,800 lbs, BUT I’ll have a vehicle that makes a combined 400 horsepower when all systems are in use, but can run on either the Cummins or the EV system independently, can be fueled with any combination of grid electricity, solar power, diesel, kerosene, biodiesel, CNG, brake/transmission fluid, waste vegetable oil, and whatever other crap I can find that the Cummins can run on, parts are reasonably common for both the platform and the 4BT, and with the aero work, it would have a CdA value around 0.45 m^2 in spite of being slightly lifted for offroad use. On petroleum diesel, this arrangement should exceed 50 mpg at 70 mph, top out at over 200 mph, do 0-60 mph in under 3 seconds, and out-corner practically anything. At 120 mph, fuel economy should still be around 20 mpg, allowing this vehicle the ability to out-distance anything with that huge fuel tank.
Using the EV drive system by itself, it would still make around 100 horsepower and have about 50 miles of range at 70 mph, 100 miles range at 30 mph, and 15 miles of range at 120 mph. So if no liquid fuels can be obtained, the solar panels will give at least this basic functionality, providing about 5 miles range a day at 70 mph and 30 miles of range a day at 25 mph, which is still better than a horse because you don’t have to feed it(although the only downside vs a horse is that you can eat the horse, but not the car).
The HPEVS AC motor and inverter would likely outlast even the Cummins, and the Cummins could last a 7-digit amount of miles. That LiFePO4 battery would also last 20+ years.
The idea is that this is a car that will stay running even if the apocalypse gets as bad as that depicted in “The Road”, which is basically a worst case scenario besides outright human extinction.
I only understood about half of that.
But.. I’m an unerring marksman with a few good guns and a lot of ammunition.
I call shotgun!
No worries man. I don’t eat people.
Amazing
Why bother with the MX5 chassis at all? With all that installed I dont think there would be any room for you much less any of your stuff.
Just put all that into the larger, already 4WD Mazda donor pickup that’s ment for off road use. Put a solar panel covered bed camper on the back and you’ll have a lot more room too.
Ford F150 Lightning. With Elon’s ass duct taped to the grill and bumper.
And MTG and Bobert chained up in the bed. To be used as bait, or dog food.
Basically since they went out of production, Cavalier and Sunfire drivers have been treating their cars like it was already the apocalypse and still they survive,so that’s probably a good start.
Canadians don’t seem as infected with Big Altima Energy, but that might be a suitable pick too.
It is true that every Altima older than maybe 6-10 months does look like its already survived some sort of apocalyptic event, might be on to something there.
SUV? Hummer H1 or Denali. For obvious reasons.
Car? 2002-2004 Accord with the 3.5 V6 engine. Fast when you need it and will last forever, even when there’s more zombie goo than ATF on the underside of the car.
Barely sliding in under the 30 year limit, I would have a Volvo 240 that I would convert to run on wood gas so I wouldn’t have to worry about gasoline. https://www.lowtechmagazine.com/2010/01/wood-gas-cars.html#:~:text=Even%20though%20some%20smaller%20cars,range%20might%20not%20be%20sufficient.
Problem with that is that wood gas has about half the BTUs of gasoline, so you’ll be a sitting duck.
The obvious choice here is that one vehicle that has been in production, essentially unchanged, since the Clinton administration: the Chevy Express. Body on frame construction, practically bulletproof powertrains, and roomy enough to live in when shit hits the fan. Add to that the fact that there’s literally millions of them that could be parts donors to keep your rig running, I see no downsides here.
Of course, if we aren’t talking modern vehicles, something with a 6bt Cummins.
AM General M35 – because big enough and heavy enough to take whatever supplies you need, or even pull a house trailer, capable of pushing debris or abandoned vehicles out of the way or detouring off road, and multifuel engine can burn whatever’s available, kerosene, gasoline, heating oil, diesel, JP8, et, also minimal electronics, simple mechanicals, and they’re extremely common, hell, I know of two for sale in front yards within a few miles of home right now
It has a fun shift pattern, too!
1 4 R
2 3 5