The world, or at least modern civilization, has gotta end somehow. Zombie apocalypse? Maybe. Rogue virus? Sure, if by that you mean “even more rogue virus,” because Covid is still very much a thing. Global warming perhaps? Dear reader, we are soaking in it. But no matter how we get out butts kicked back a good 150 years or so, we’re still going to want to get around faster than a walking pace and get to our devastated destinations in a reasonable amount of time, and no one’s going to do it by bicycle. They should, but they won’t. And sorry, the Supercharger Network will be down. So unless you’ve got a Stanley steamer stashed away, you’re going to be burning some gas. But what are you gonna burn it in, ideally?
As we’re all aware, TV and movies have been chock full of ideas for post-apocalypse mobility ever since Mads Max I and II (or The Road Warrior, for US moviegoers) packed theaters in the 80s, and cash-ins from more dubious films such as Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared Syn and Spacehunter: Adventures In The Forbidden Zone kept the vibe going, if less impressively (I do like Spacehunter‘s Scrambler though–there’s a Dodge Power Wagon under there!) Base-vehicle choices were all over the map, but all were robustly mechanical and could essentially run forever if you just kept replacing whatever wore out. If you want to tick all the boxes for apocalypse-proof transportation, I think you’d land on a Baja Bug, like the hotted-up Herbie above (incredibly, it’s a model, go look!). But good luck finding a legit old-school Beetle, Baja or otherwise, in 2023. Ditto any other all-steel, computer-free heaps you might conceivably get running after an EMP strike. Nope, you’re gonna have to figure out how to get yourself a set of reliable wheels from the pool of cars released in the last 30 years or so.
Maybe a Hyundai? The brand went in hard when The Walking Dead first hit the airwa … er, cables, as Rick and his family evaded walkers, rotters, and moaners in a Tucson. And honestly, you could do a lot worse in the immediate aftermath of a world-ending via zombies, but as the great undoing proceeds, one will want something more capable and rugged. And armed?
… which could still be a Hyundai, I suppose, with appropriate accoutrement. This one is a virtual model from the (now defunct) Walking Dead Chop Shop app that let you optimize Hyundais for dealing with the undead. But surely, we can come up with more interesting and thoughtful takes on reliable dailies for the end of days.
To the comments!
Boo to the party poopers suggesting rational things like bikes or sailboats. When the top suggestion is apocalypse Hyundai, you only get to be slightly more rational.
That being said, I would choose a 60s offroader with a diesel. Some modern amenities but should still be stone simple. My first thought was IH Scout, but those weren’t released with diesel until ’76
Yeah, the question was for car, not anything else
I’ll join you with this:
https://64.media.tumblr.com/321737d231594bb46dcae590abd44ceb/tumblr_ouw28cwo6K1wyr2n4o1_1280.jpg
Its a John Deere though so repairability MIGHT be an issue.
In a total breakdown of society type situation, any form infrastructure would deteriorate to a point of useless-ness in a matter of days. Forget about fuel- automobiles cannot function if the roads they are designed to roll on are impassable.
Any road worth taking outside (even small) populated areas would become clogged with traffic for the entirely of their length. Within 48 hours, these jams would become endless lanes of empty stranded vehicles. Forget detours- The ditches and nearby fields would be littered with the vehicles of desperate motorists with the same idea.
Truly rural roads might have some free sections, but expect crashes or agglomerations of stranded vehicles to escalate into roadway-spanning pileups at every choke point.
The only ICE vehicles worth a damn in the short term would be motor bikes and ATVs- Capable of long distances, but narrow enough to pick through vehicle pileups and and make actual off-road detours. Still, get stuck without a plan and you’re walking.
My pick would be a low tech bicycle- All the advantages of the above, but silent, requires no fuel other than food, and light enough to portage over obstacles. Spares and repair parts are easy to scrounge and light enough to carry. An average fitness person can travel triple digit distances in a day if it’s all they have to do.
Long term, the only practical option is a horse or sailboat.
Real talk though- who wants to live through an apocalypse? Never mind the roving gangs of bandits- the environmental damage of industrial collapse would be a living nightmare. Let’s not let that happen.
Yeah the only sensible answer for such large scale destruction is ‘go out and look at the pretty lights’ and make it all go away.
Civilization will end more more slowly. It could easily be claimed that it’s ending right now. We’re in the midst of late-stage capitalism, lies have won over ‘an interconnected and cooperative society’, there are real-actual fascists running free instead of getting punched in the face, temperatures are rising in every climate and storms are getting worse, and worst of all, Old Site uses generative plagiarism algorithms to pollute my news feed. It’ll take a while longer, so the question becomes which *cars*
One with a decent charging network and good tax credit. For now, I’m looking at the next Bolt EUV, but if I can swing a false Mustang, yeah I wouldn’t mind that.
Opel Astra F is definitely a car for the apocalypse. Single point injection is easy to diagnose and bodge.
Something you can run on biodiesel since that’s about all you’re gonna be able to source after awhile. Old Mercedes D perhaps?
Wait? I’m expected to survive the apocalypse? Count me in as looking for the bright light and running towards it. No way do I want anything to do with what happens next!
I take my last post back
Lotus Evora. Enjoy your Quantity time left on earth, I’ll enjoy my Quality time
Sail car (sailcar?) and sailboat.
Here’s a sail car for $500
https://chicago.craigslist.org/wcl/snw/d/oak-park-manta-windjammer-sailcar/7646108051.html
Picard Piranha from Interstate ’76 (Plymouth Barracuda)
2/3rds of the earth is covered with water and I only saw 1 person mention a boat, and zero mention a sailboat. I would say Bezos’ new mega sailing yacht but, a) it probably needs a sizable crew, and b) Bezos probably has a personal Israeli commando team on board to protect it.
So I’ll just grab whatever 30′ sailboat I can find.
Billionaires like Bezos would be ones of the first to go in an apocalypse since their money doesn’t mean shit anymore and they have the most things to take.
A bicycle, won’t die like a horse nor do you have to worry about fuel. I would make sure to find some hard rubber tires for it so I never have to worry about air, won’t be comfortable but it will get me where I need to go.
I hired a rental bike with foam rubber tires once in Washington DC, it honestly wasn’t that bad! Took me a few blocks to even notice, and I rode it through a bunch of woodland walking trails without that much trouble. I’d be curious to know how they wear long term, and if they stand up better to environmental deterioration.
I owned the vehicle for over 20 years. It is still in my hometown still taunting me on a daily basis for selling it. The vehicle is a 1974 Chevy 3/4 ton flat bed with built in storage boxes and dual saddle tanks for incredible range. Basic 350 with a 4 spd granny box and positraction rear end. I suppose the same vehicle in 4 wheel drive would be even better. Being a points ignition, EMP is a non-issue. It’ll burn anything close to gasoline. Not particularlly comfortable but hell for stout!
FWIW. this Chevy has over 375K miles on it, still running the original engine, trans, rear-end, and suspension, although the front end is admittedly getting a bit “loose”. Lost count on the number of clutch jobs and brake jobs.
Short term, I think both vehicles I already own are somewhat appropriate.
2013 4Runner and 2007 Volvo XC70. Both are sturdy with some offroad capability and plenty of room for gear. Between the two I’d pick the Yota, for obvious reasons.
I’ve also had the thought that a diesel Blazer or Suburban would make a good bugout vehicle, the 6.2L is super simple and is probably not too picky about fuel quality, from what I know about them. I’d actually pick the civilian version though, they aren’t different mechanically, but the civvie version has the possibility of working AC.
Long term, I think it would be easier to generate electricity than liquid fuel, so perhaps a Rivian truck might be a decent choice.
Realistically, once the initial chaos settles down and I find a reasonably safe space to settle, a horse probably makes the most sense.
Diesel powered Mahindra Roxor, but with an actually decent hardtop. Even with 5.38 gears it should be faster than a zombie, and it will crawl ok over large piles of them. diesel, for diesel advantages, and Roxor, because 30 year limit takes Flat fender and CJ series Jeeps out of the discussion.
The Marauder, featured in Top Gear’s S17E1, where Hamster drove it through Joburg: https://www.topgear.com/videos/richard-hammond/richard-drives-marauder-part-12-series-17-episode-1
This one: https://www.truckcampermagazine.com/off-road/extreme-rigs/paving-way-unimog-campers/
Right-To-Repair
Just wanted to add that into the conversation. If you need to talk to the mothership for your car to accept those cannibalized parts, then that car won’t work no matter what fuel.
I’ll take the Saturn with the body panels stripped off and kitted up all Mad Max style for that “Your Bridgestone Tires Or Your Life” commercial. https://imgur.com/a/Rc5Nv
Aussie-spec 70 series diesel Land Cruiser. I can think of no other appropriate modern vehicle except maybe that diesel military motorcycle that Mercedes wrote about a while back, which runs on anything combustible.
A horse?
From someone who knows “moneypocalypse” what you need is a basic and sturdy bicycle
If we’re assuming there’s no electrical power, then you’re not going to be able to pump gas either… and gasoline has a finite shelf life, and with no refineries, even a gas powered car won’t be particularly useful after a while. Maybe some sort of solar or small wind turbine setup to charge an electric car?
Or how about at Chrysler Turbine Car? Didn’t they run those on Tequila and Chanel No. 5 during their press tour? That flexibility will open up a lot of options.
But really, why do apocalypse survivors feel that they need to take road trips all the time? The last apocalypse I lived through (It was just a few years ago — do you remember it?), I mostly just stayed home.
I think in the next apocalypse, there won’t be Seamless, Amazon, Doordash, Uber Eats …
I like Spacehunter, I currently own it on Blu-Ray. Whoever did the work with the vehicles in that movie should have won an award. The Scrambler, the land going locomotive, the rail sail barge, motorcycles with roll cages.
Considering the air cooled Beetle was manufactured until 2003 in Mexico, it falls under the 30 year rule and is what I am going to cruise the wasteland in. At least until I come across a Unimog to crush my enemies and hear the lamentations of their women.
If the superchargers are down due to no one being around to run a power plant, how are you pumping gas? You’re gonna need a gasifier or somesuch to run your car on woodsmoke, or a boiler for steam. Suddenly, those live steam rail fans look a lot smarter.
Imagine some guy slowly chugging away from zombies on a scale steam train. As the zombies fade in the distance, the train begins to turn to the left. Our hero slowly realizes that the track is a large loop in his back yard…
hahaha that was great, practically a Haiku
Fluids can hand pumped out of ground tanks.
Whatever it is, it needs to be able to run on non-traditional fuels (preferably grain alcohol as an option, because folks will be making that as long as they feasibly can) and have some sort of all-terrain treads installed instead of tires. I figure you’ll have at most 5 years supply of tires before you’re popping them more often than you’re able to drive 25 feet forward. Between the rubber degrading, and the roads/paths becoming more overgrown and undrivable…
Realistically, anything will have it’s issues within a decade… I dunno about you, but I certainly wouldn’t know which rabbit to ask for 10W30 when my 2nd or 3rd oil change is due… Or which bear cave has the best transmission fluids, but I also don’t know that I’d want to be using anything I find left on an auto-zone shelf once the bears are done having their way in there.
By the time all of my fluids have gone bad, I’m sure the lead-acid battery will be about toast too… Luckily I’m confident enough in my knowledge there that I could probably make something work, but I’m significantly less confident in my ability to make new seals when those start to go.
Unstabilized gasoline is good for 3-6 months, MAYBE a year. Diesel degrades too. Low compression, oldschool engines will run on crap fuel with crap oil for a long time. Something with a a crank start and magneto could work when there are no batteries left.
I have a tractor from the 40’s that should last until the end of time. It just won’t go anywhere fast or quietly.
If it’s stored well, ethanol gasoline can last several years. Ethanol free can last more than ten years in ideal conditions.