Congratulations! You just hit the big one in an alternate universe, whatever the Powerball lottery is called in a dimension where everything’s the same except custard enjoys anti-gravity properties. Even after taxes, you’d have an obscene amount of money to play with, and the fabulously rich are certainly known for prominent indoor displays of machinery.
Truthfully, if I hit the lottery, I’d be more interested in buying a three-bed two-bath house in a convenient neighborhood, getting a reasonably nice winter car/tow rig I won’t have to worry about for a decade, parking a few million in the S&P 500, and living well below my means off the interest than doing the whole mansion thing. I mean, have you seen what good groundskeepers and cleaners cost these days?
However, if I had to do the whole mega-flex thing and park a car in my living room, it would have to be something brilliant to look at yet tiny and comically underpowered.
Something that’s better as a static object d’art than actual transportation. For that, I’m going with a Mitsuoka BUBU 502. Sure, it’s not exactly known as the most beautiful car of all time, but it’s striking, compact, and perfectly-sized for indoor display. Plus, if I tried to take it out on the roads of Toronto, I’d quickly get mowed down by someone in a RAV4, so keeping it as a living room plaything would be an act of mercy.
So, if you were suddenly flush with hundreds of millions of dollars from hitting the Powerball, what car or motorcycle would you keep inside your house? Oh, and don’t worry about having to upgrade to a place with zinc countertops and onyx statues to gain the space. That’s all part of the new money game.
(Photo credits: Maserati, TTTNIS — own work, CC0)
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I would really love to build my kid a racecar bed…out of an actual racecar.
An Alfa Romeo Montreal in orange.
I think I’d have to go with an E-Type. First of all, probably the most gorgeous car ever made, but second of all, I suspect I wouldn’t drive it very often. I mean, if I’ve got countless millions, I have better options in the garage (FD RX-7, 2-3 911s, DB-7 maybe), and it’s not as if I’d want to drive the Jag into the ground. Maybe a monthly outing when the weather is just right, then Jeeves can give it a thorough cleaning before it gets wheeled back into place where I can gaze at it on the way to the fridges.
That leads me to another AA topic: what’s the right number of miles a year for a classic car? I’m talking about something relatively rare, not an old Dart you want to daily. But a classic that requires expensive maintenance and would be tragic to lose in an accident—is that a 50 mile a month showpiece, or does a functional machine deserve more use than that?
A fully functioning ice cream truck stocked with all the tasty treats
Fully functional 1989 Batmobile on a turntable that lowers into the massive and gothic Bat Garage with a secret tunnel that exits a mile from the house.
Since I’d build a couple self-sufficient ~1000 sq/ft reinforced flat-sided concrete domes (basic shape of the Pantheon) with wrap around porches with roofs of solar panels, there wouldn’t be much room for cars in there or any use for cars at all on the one I’d have located on a small island with no other humans, but for the one on the lake that would have access to humans, I’d have a car corral like the main house (though bigger) with the cars able to deploy radially like Carthage’s naval port. There would be several I designed myself (to go with a couple of boats I designed) plus a ’90-91 Subaru Legacy wagon modified as a 2-door with 22B-like extended box flares, a ’56 or ’67 Cadillac with an EV drivetrain, and an Alfa Romeo Montreal, though the last spot might be a non-permanent one.
Team, I know Jason’s out, but this kind of filler is beneath you. It’s a step away from “what ___________ do you hate?” listicles that comprise most of the old site’s content.
Journalism, please.
I mean, Autopian Asks has been a feature for a while now…
Counter point. I come here for this type of post.
Fair. It can be fun to collectively imagine. But I look at the old site (when it’s not crashing under the weight of ad-vomit) and see a lot of stuff like this segment. Personally, I come for the pedantic deep dives into car design, taillight fetishes, and suspension geometry. It’s entertaining, accessible, and I’ve learned something.
Agreed. I also enjoy the deep dives, etc. But the variety is important to me. Some posts here I skim through, others I read and (try to) digest the info.
The Autopian for me is an escape from the daily grind, and a mix of topics, writing styles, and points of view makes the read more enjoyable.
1961 Ferrari 250 GT California Spyder, obviously. And I’d wipe it with a diaper
On a jack stand, running in reverse?
A new one, I presume?
The diaper.
Martini Lancia Delta JF integrale. Then use some cash on a beautiful, swoopy rally road right out the door. Would need the rest of the money so an interior designer could figure out the rest of that room.
Ken Block’s (RIP) house has a sweet gravel rally course all around the property including some bridges and jumps on it.
Thinking like the Renault Argos to park in front of the big screen, it’s art and can’t drive it anyways, also . Either that or a replica ’53 Corvette.
LM002. Great to look at, horrible to drive. As time passes it’ll be a reminder of the times of excess with it’s 73 gallon gas tank
Probably an un-driveable shell of a Skyline Super Silhouette (with a working version in the garage)
What if your car is your living room? OK, this is make believe, so guess I’d buy a ‘57 T-Bird and park in the living room like Dan Tana.
Since it’s a display model, a Ferrari 312T. Can’t drive it on the road, and I’d run out of skill and wreck it on a track.
In my house? Probably a Duesenberg Model J. There’s a far better chance of me searching for a way to have odd engines, that can no longer be used, built into tables or some furniture in my living room, however. Like a W8, I8, and a V4, for example.
I’d rather have any car/vehicle that I want to show off in my own garage within a little hangout section than within my house. Probably a Cygnet and Ducati 1098 would go in there. If it could fit, and I could even get one here, definitely a twin-air Fiat 500.
Ferrari 288 GTO or BMW M1 Procar
This wrecked ferrari “sculpture”
https://www.toxel.com/inspiration/2017/12/23/crashed-ferrari-sculpture/
For some reason, I’ve like this dumb thing since it was made years ago.
Perfect, or the Scorsese Countach.
Very Cool. I had to go look up the Scorcese Countach. I hadn’t heard of it before. The auction ad I found says it also includes “Jordan Belfort costume, a director’s chair and a clapboard, both signed by Scorsese, DiCaprio, and Robbie, 2 crew hoodies, and 2 DVDs of the film”. If i went that route, i would put the car in a box, like the ferrari and have all that other stuff displayed around the car too.
But I think I like the ferrari a little more. In general I prefer Ferrari looks over Lambo.
Orange McLaren F1 LM, pleaseandthankyou
But only if I could get it out easily for a drive.
This is clutch. It must be accessible for shenanigans.
I’m not sure I’d want a car in the living room, actually. But a comfy lounge/conversation pit in the 10-car garage? Now you’re talking.
I dream of a large shop with a mezzanine. The mezzanine has a fridge, a microwave, a murphy bed, a couple of worn out leather chesterfield couches, a tv and video games, and a pool table. It over looks the main “production” area of the shop. thats my version of a man cave, and its one a buddy can crash in if he stays too late or has too many cold snacks to make it home.
Kawasaki H2 Mach IV Triple along with a new H2 Ninja Supercharged with a door that I could open to ride either one whenever I wanted.
Wait, what in the wide world of sports is this business about onyx statues?
In the Garage Mahal, I would have a Ferrari 250 GTO, an early XKE roadster, a Hemi Superbird, and the Rollie Free Vincent Black Lightning motorcycle, each of which I would operate occasionally, just enough to scare myself. When it comes to dreaming about foolish purchases, my motto is “go big or go home.”
Lotus 72D in JPS livery.
And yes, it would get exercised once in a while.
None. Vehicles are to be driven, not displayed in your living room.
787b, rigged to start up every morning as my alarm clock.
The carbon monoxide is good motivation to avoid the snooze button. Too many alarms and you keep sleeping.
(For the purposes of this joke, you did not consider exhausting it outside or other ventilation options.)