This Isn’t Just A Car Roast, It’s A Five-Alarm Fire: COTD

One great way to go through life is to have just enough humor about things. This can apply to everything from finances to cars. Owning terrible highly-depreciated German cars is better when you can laugh about it. The “car roast” is an extension of this and it’s great.

Car roasts are like diss tracks for cars and they can be great fun if you don’t take them seriously. Today, Mark Tucker wrote a Shitbox Showdown between a 2004 Infiniti G35 and a 2004 Mercedes E500. They’re both bad choices, and plenty of folks decided to make that clear in the form of disses. Here’s commenter TheDrunkenWrench:

There is no world in which I’d pay money to join the RWD “Big Altima Energy” intersection takeover demographic of cars. The optics alone of driving that thing put you in a circle of judgement akin to CyberTruck owners.

I’ll take the Benz and park it next to my other Benz so I can pretend I’m a 2000s era rapper.

Here’s  No More Crossovers:

No doubt some teenager in both of those areas is working overtime at Wendy’s to get a sweet first whip. I’d take the infiniti if only because enough dipshits around here crash them that I could more or less ship of theseus it into Something

 

Today, I wrote a piece explaining why a flight attendant may kindly ask you to leave your window shade open during takeoff and landing. StillNotATony knows the real reason:

Why do they want the shades open?

Because they KNOW that THING is out there on the wing!! They KNOW, but they don’t want me to know THAT THEY KNOW!!!

Watch this:

“Jesus Chrysler drives a Dodge” also tells a story about the incredible stresses planes are put through in testing:

I used to work at the Boeing wide body assembly plant in Everett. Beside the thrill of having access to factory floor, I learned about few of the tests these big birds undergo. Among them:

Fully fuel-loaded (400,000 lbs) takeoff abort on an Arizona runway in summertime, delayed emergency response, brakes on fire. In a scenario like this the plane has to to cleared in 90 seconds with some exits blocked. That’s 500+ people in some configurations.

Think about that the next time you’re behind someone shambling down the aisle dragging a bulging carryon and a venti. The flight crew are the difference between them getting out in their feet vs in a bag.

So yeah, I’m not making that job any harder than it is already

Have a great evening, everyone!

(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)