This is it. We’ve reached the end of the alphabet, and we’re finishing off with two cars that really don’t go together. But who said they had to? One is twice the price of the other as well, but it’s also twice the size. So on a per-pound basis, they probably cost about the same.
I had to get a little weird for the letter Y on Friday and put up a Yamaha side-by-side you can’t drive on the street against a Lancia you can’t import yet. It wasn’t a great matchup, but I started this silly theme, and by gum, I’m gonna finish it, so I did what I had to do. You gave the Yamaha enough votes for the win, but it doesn’t sound like any of you were too happy about it.
I don’t think I can resist the idea of that Lancia Y for only 800 Euros, though. One or two of you mentioned taking a trip to Italy, using the car while you’re there, and putting it up for sale or into storage for a couple years before you leave. It’s a dumb idea, but it’s my kind of dumb idea, and I wholeheartedly approve it.
All right, let’s finish this stupid theme off. This was going to be Zimmer versus ZAZ, but over the weekend, my buddy Stephen Walter Gossin posted the cutest little Honda for sale in his neck of the woods in Slack, and, well, I just had to use it. I kept the Zimmer, though, because how can you not? Let’s check them out.
1985 Zimmer Golden Spirit – $14,500
Engine/drivetrain: 302 cubic inch overhead valve V8, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Simi Valley, CA
Odometer reading: 72,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
Have you always wanted to cosplay as Cruella DeVil? Do you think the turning radius of most cars is just too tight? Have you ever wondered what Liberace would look like as a car? You’re in the right place. Allow me to present the Zimmer Golden Spirit, a neo-classical coupe based on, of all things, a Fox-body Ford Mustang.
Zimmer kept only the roof and doors of the original Mustang sheetmetal, replacing all the rest of the bodywork with fiberglass. The wheelbase is stretched more than three feet, all the way out to 142 inches – that’s even longer than a Chevy Suburban. The Mustang’s 302 V8 and three-speed automatic are stock, so finding parts when necessary should be no problem. This one runs and drives fine, and has covered 72,000 miles, which seems like a lot for a car like this. I can’t imagine anyone dailying something like this.
Inside, it’s just an early Fox-body Mustang, but with Recaro seats and a fancy steering wheel. It’s generally in good condition, but it appears the seats don’t match and it looks like one has been replaced. It’s loaded, of course; you can’t build a car like this and give it crank windows, as funny as that would be.
It’s clean and shiny outside, but good grief is there a lot of crap stuck on the outside of this car. There are a total of three spare tire covers on this thing – two on the fenders and one Continental kit in the back. And I’d be willing to bet that none of them actually contain a spare tire, and that the actual spare is a donut in the trunk well.
1998 Honda Z – $7,000
Engine/drivetrain: Turbocharged 656 cc overhead cam inline 3, four-speed automatic, AWD
Location: Wilmington, NC
Odometer reading: 90,000 kilometers
Operational status: Runs and drives well
Not in a neo-classical mood? How about something a little smaller? Here we have the Honda Z, a Japanese domestic market Kei car with an overall length shorter than the Zimmer’s wheelbase. But this isn’t your typical little front-wheel-drive hatchback; the Z has a secret hiding under its rear seat.
The Z is powered by a 656 cubic centimeter three-cylinder, which uses a turbocharger to make 63 horsepower, the agreed-upon maximum for Kei vehicles. None of this is unusual for a car like this, but the engine’s placement is. It’s mid-mounted, under the back seat, and drives all four wheels through a four-speed automatic transmission. Ever dream about mid-engine rally cars like the Peugeot 205 Turbo 16, or Ford RS200? This is like that, only tiny and Japanese.
It’s right-hand drive, of course, so drive-thru windows and toolbooths will present a challenge, but Kei cars are so narrow that you could probably just lean over far enough if you don’t have someone riding shotgun to help out. This car has 90,000 kilometers on it and shows a few signs of wear in the interior, but nothing too bad. It has power windows and locks, as well as air conditioning, which works fine.
It sits tall and is riding on some pretty beefy tires for a Kei car. The ad shows a photo of it driving on the beach, which could be fun with 4WD and mid-engine weight distribution. It’s in good condition, though it looks like the burnt-orange paint might be faded a little unevenly. Doesn’t make it any less adorable, though.
So that, I suppose you could say, is the long and the short of it. We’ve managed to find at least two cars from each letter of the alphabet. I’m still not sure what the rest of the week will bring, but I’ll figure something out. In the meantime, the choice is yours: pretend to be a rally driver in the tiny Honda Z, or go for Baroque with the Zimmer?
That license plate really puts the Zimmer together.
I don’t think I could ever drive a Golden Spirit without a bag over my head, but I had to vote for it against my will, since I’d be pretty concerned about any JDM car winding up as a useless paperweight with the AAMVA bullshit still going on.
At least the original Zimmers from the 1980s had some genuinely nice interior upgrades over the base Mustang- deep pile wool carpeting, burl wood trim, cut crystal bud vases, Recaro seats, high quality leather – the later revival cars from the 1990s-2010s were much more low effort in that regard
Yes! I guess my choice today was obvious.
The Honda wins by default
I can’t explain why, but I’m torn between these two. The Honda is a really cool car. The other thing is, well, ridiculous. The contrarian side of me would like to take that Zimmer driving around town asking people what they thought of my beautiful new car, just to see the looks on their faces. And maybe a little puke on the ground. In the end, had to go Honda.
Jesus, that Zimmer is awful. Awful when I was a kid and even more awful now. There are still a few plying the roads around here in SWFL and I cringe every time I see one.
Edit… I just clicked on the ad and HOLY SHIT ARE THESE THINGS EXPENSIVE! There’s one on Hemmings for $55k!
I thought all the people who liked this garbage were LONG dead. Surprised prices are so high – seems more like stuff that falls into the “gramps, nobody wants your crap” category.
THIS is the stuff people bought to be a burden to their children trying to dispose of the estate.
The Zimmer calls to me.
Honda, please!
It just looks happy, and I really like the idea of a 4WD and (kind of) street legal go-kart.
The other one…
And that includes the license plate. Even if it’s meant to be ironic – eek.
I hadn’t even noticed the plate. That is pretty bad, but I live in another state anyway, so I wouldn’t be using it.
The problem with the Zimmer is that it exists, and it shouldn’t. And while I’d like to do my civic duty and feed it into a 5000HP shredder and reduce it to exploded confetti in under 5 seconds, it’s kinda pricey.
Now I do love small cars and I’m a Honda fan and I like the letter Z and it’s a 4×4 and I have some land where I could off road it and pretend it’s a side by side, so I’ll take the Z.
But the Zimmer needs to die.
Monster garage turned to Zimmer into a log splitter once
Ha. That cursed TV show is not to be spoken of in some circles around here since these damn philistines once destroyed a Peel Trident just because they could and the host turned out to be a bona fide Nazi.
The Zimmer is a fox body, which means a manual swap is going to be pretty straightforward, and pepping up the 302 would be fairly simple. Then get some proper Duke of New York chandeliers for the fenders and go to town.
A-number 1!
4.6 and 5spd out of an Explorer if you’re going to the trouble.
I say go balls to the wall and break minds at the dragstrip with a 1,000 hp turbo Coyote. You must match the horsepower to the absurdity of the look.
Make those fake external exhaust pipes real and routed to externally-mounted turbos. With chandeliers.
At least one person has turned a Zimmer into a fullblown drift car.
Edit: Or maybe I’m thinking of the Mitsuoka LeSeyde.
That tiny Z looks like fun and the Zimmer’s trunk looks like a marina dockbox but screw it, where’s my pimp cane? I’m voting Zimmer.
It’s in the closet below your white fur coat with the fluffy lapels and your wide brim hat. Don’t forget the gold chains! You wouldn’t want to look wrong, would you?
Kramer!
https://youtu.be/fJcdIamctmA?si=rSQuNNlGLDGZlgis
I love art deco, which probably explains why I hate the Zimmer. It’s like a redneck’s meth-addled fever dream of the elegant coupes of the early-mid 20th century.
Then again, if I’d been awake for 56 hours, I can’t say I wouldn’t have some pretty weird thoughts, too. I just have sense enough not to manifest them.
What’s funny is how even in its heyday in the 70s, the neoclassical look was derided as a joke. There’s a Rockford Files episode where someone attempts to give Jim one, and he recoils.
It was a joke for anyone born after about 1920 or so, but they were very appealing to a lot of people who were teenagers before WWII. Also pimps, there was a weird alignment in tastes between wealthy old white people and younger pimps
I was kinda jonesing for a Zaprozhets, or at least an OG Honda Z-car like the one I owned and loved, but I’ll take the newer Honda since that’s what we get.
The Zimmer is just, well, impossible. I’ve driven too many cars that made me want to wear a bag over my head for anonymity, and I’m too old to do it again.
I think that Zimmer is actually a Mercury Cougar, not a Mustang. Same basic stuff, but the Cougar had that terrible “formal” roofline and tiny little quarter windows that made it a better starting point for further terrible crimes against humanity.
The “neoclassical” thing was tried so many times and roundly rejected over and over again. Because it’s awful. Nostalgia is rightly a mental illness, exhibit A. Or Z. whatever.
14,500 is a lot to pay for that awful shit. (And I’m CERTAIN Liberace had one)
Zimmer used Mustangs with a fiberglass cap on the back of the roof, which was then covered in padded vinyl.
Classic Motor Carriages (makers of the competing Tiffany coupe) used Cougars, and didn’t do anything to disguise the B and C pillars
If you’re trying to recreate the splendor of the 1920s Classics, starting with a 100-inch wheelbase seems like the BEST move. :rolleyes:
I hate these things so much. Worse than the stupid fiberglass crap to convert VWs to the same thing. Look, if you want a Classic or Brass Era car, get one. This simulacrum just doesn’t work.
It’s definitely possible to re-create a Classic that’s just a stunning, but not on a modern unibody car. it’ll be all custom.
The VIN decodes to a 1984 Mustang:
1FABP26M4EF193483
I must have been thinking of the CMCs – in both cases, these things are ghastly.
The proportions are all weird with the short wheelbases and unibody basis.
It would have been better to start with a custom ladder frame, but a LOT more expensive.
Hey, if it ain’t baroque, don’t fix it! Gimme the Zimmer!!
Would it be a mortal sin to start adding all the Mustang go fast bits to it?
It would be a mortal sin NOT to do that. Especially cherry bombs and a lumpy cam.
Go all out; tub it, put some slicks on, and take it to the strip.
I could get behind this. Imagine the wind noise all that tacky shit makes as it hurtles through the traps at (checks notes) 81 miles per hour with its current config.
Big fuck-off blower, proper drag trans, better internals (or, indeed block?). The continental spare holder is perfect for a ‘chute. It’d be great. Might need to stick all the chrome gewgaws down real good though…
I think a gnarly huge turbo drawing through a carburetor (none of that blow-through nonsense here!) would wake that wimpy 302 up. Just boost the daylights out of it and send it.
The Z is $3k overpriced but I’ll pay it to avoid being seen in the Zimmer.
Honda. If you swap in a rotary it’s pretty much what I want.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Clarkson drive the Zimmer in Poland? The one where May “killed” Nigel Mansell?
I think he drove one based on Nissan … something or other, so it was even worse, somehow.
It was a Mitsuoka Le Seyde. Same idea but it was a 240sx (I think) underneath.
The main thing I’d worry about with the Honda Z is pedestrians. You hit a kid in a crosswalk with this and it’s likely to total the car and probably bruise the kid. Still, I’d take the Honda.
Honda Z, easily. I cannot stand any of the neoclassical kit car/whatever you call them abominations. They’re gaudy and ridiculous looking.
If the Zimmer were a convertible it would be tempting, but as a coupe I’m not interested. Plus, I am dying to get a kei car right now and a mid engine one is definitely the way to go!
There’s a convertible one listed on Hemmings at, get this, $49900.
Well um.. That would indeed be very tempting once they realize their error and dump the extra zero off the end. Or remove the 4 in the front, either way it would be good, but at $50k?! No chance
That was my go-to line when perusing a used car lot when the sales lizard offered a ridiculuous price. Take a digit off, either end.
Well, damn! I’m really in the minority today. Between being unlikely to fit in it and it having 63 HP with an auto-tragic transmission, I’ll have to pass on the Honda.
Other than body work, you should be able to keep the Zimmer running indefinitely with occasional visits to O’Reillys and your local junk yards. Besides, how can you not love the license plate!?! Of course the reality is that it is a reverse-polarity babe magnet.
Yeah, I did a spit take when I saw that!
Oh man, I didn’t even notice the plate. That shows either a surprising sense of irony or a complete lack of self-awareness from the owner.
Actually I just clicked on the listing and it’s definitely the second one.
I have pervese dreams of turning a Zimmer into somethign obnixous, like a drift car. I hear longer wheels bases make that easier, and I’m sure there will be no issues throwing a massive angle kit on it.
I don’t think you need to turn it into something obnoxious, it comes that way.
Oh it’s just getting started!!! Matte Black paint, deep red velour interior..
I’ve always thought the Zimmers and their ilk were kinda cool, but I can’t resist the chance to toss that tiny turbo car/auto costume around. It’s Z Honda for me!
(P.S.- thanks for the call back to my dumb comment about the Lancia!)
The dust in the engine compartment is a bit of a red-ish flag. Shame about the Honda being an automatic. I would love a little AWD run about like that but with 63 Hp and an automatic there would be frustrations.
Don’t hink I can legally drive the Honda in Pennsylvania, so I’ll take the Zimmer in all it’s glorious decadence.