Doing crime is dumb, but what’s dumber is doing crime at a Tim Hortons, Canada’s famous donuts and coffee spot. That’s not just because police love donuts, but because everybody loves donuts, meaning that when police inevitably show up there will be loads of witnesses to film your dumb self trying to drive a Ford Bronco Sasquatch over top of two police cars.
This all went down in Mississauga, Ontario, Canada on Tuesday night. Apparently, to get away from the cops, a 25-year-old driver decided to test out the capability of the off-road-focused SUV. To his chagrin, it turns out that a Dodge Charger and a Dodge Durango prove to be as impassable for the Bronco Sasquatch as King of the Hammers would be for a Bronco Sport.
Here, have a look:
The four-door Bronco Sasquatch comes standard with 35-inch tires (we bet this guy wishes he had 37s), locking differentials, low range, and — importantly — short overhangs and crazy ground clearance.
It has a 43.2-degree approach angle, a 26.3-degree breakover angle, and a 37-degree departure angle. The departure angle matches that of the Jeep Wrangler, the Bronco has a better break-over angle and a very slightly worse approach angle. In short, these angles allow the vehicle to get up onto an obstacle, in this case, a Dodge-shaped one, then over and off of said obstacle successfully.
Our very own David Tracy went into deeper depth about the topic after driving a Ford Bronco not too far afield from the one police encountered in Canada. As you’ll see in the videos above, the approach angle wasn’t a problem with climbing up on the Charger. The Bronco made it up without any problems.
This happened after officers blocked the Bronco in while it sat at the Tim Horton’s drive-thru window. Law enforcement drew their service weapons and pointed them at the driver but they didn’t fire. That remained true even when the driver pushed down the throttle and drove up onto the cruisers. At first, it appeared as though he’d have some success.
CBC quotes Constable Nikhil Chakravarthy, who told the news site:
Our officers managed to pin the vehicle in to prevent the driver from fleeing, but as you can see in the now-viral videos, the driver tries desperately to break free — and at one point even mounts the front end of one of the cruisers.
Westwood Mall, Mississauga Incident????????‼️????#Westwoodmall #Mississauga pic.twitter.com/QZWpiMNgYY
— CarraDeShaukeen (@CarraDeShaukeen) September 4, 2024
The Ford climbs up onto the hood of the Charger almost without hesitation. The driver appears to gun it at that point and gets the front of the Bronco up onto the Durango and the rear passenger-side tire up onto the Charger. At this stage though there’s not enough articulation in the independent front suspension, so the front passenger wheel and tire of the Ford are fully floating in the air, not helping propel the vehicle forward, while the driver’s wheel is also not helping since the front end is so light with the Bronco at such a steep angle.
The rear right tire is on cracked glass, most likely just slipping on the relatively smooth surface, and it looks like the left rear tire was at an angle (i.e. cambered), with not a ton of contact patch touching the ground.
The driver backs off of the car and gives it another go, this time becoming high-centered on the Charger’s hood such that the Bronco’s right-side tires don’t get any traction.
All of the Bronco’s capability ended up not being enough for the 25-year-old at the helm of this story. Per CBC, officers tazed him, arrested him, and charged him with three counts of possessing property obtained by crime, obstruction of a peace officer, dangerous operation of a vehicle, and flight.
We’re just glad everyone, including the young man, walked away from this urban off-roading thing!
Screenshots: CP 24 News out of Toronto
Those cops didn’t follow Canadian police protocol:
https://youtu.be/cxY0-Qr_l78?si=djhULoDmEfLTAdAx
So in Canada, the police don’t shoot first and ask questions later? If this had been in a major US city, I would guess this guy would have had a different outcome after running over a cop car. Not saying that’s right. I’m just impressed the restraint of the officers in this video clip.
Remember a few years ago when some loser incel ran over dozens of people in Toronto? He was apprehended by an officer who showed equally impressive restraint.
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/24/world/americas/toronto-van-police-constable-lam.html
Depending on what he looked like, there are certain GUARANTEES that he would have been shot first in the US.
Break over!
When discussing the capabilities of this vehicle, we also need to review the cupholders. Does this idiot now have hot shitty Tim’s coffee all over his lap?
There’s just something about being in a Bronco that makes you want to run from the cops…
Slowly
Wow. You’re not wrong, but WOW. This Bronco needed to be white for that joke to run even further.
Trial rated.
When people mention Mall Crawling, this was NOT what I had in mind.
COTD
The guy was just doing them a favour, because being locked in a cop car after Tim’s coffee will quickly result in assault with a deadly weapon!
rumour has it he had a Timmie’s double-double and a box of Tim Bits
2-Door would’ve made it.
Just far enough to get the driver side on top of the Durango, while the passenger gets over the charger. And the Bronco ends up on its side/top. This was never going well for him.
That Bronco owner lost his Edge on his Expedition while Explorering his options for Escape.
{Citation needed}
What does a Chevy have to do with this? /s
Throwing a Granada on my comment, eh?
Nice Flex on the Ford vehicle names.
Ghia-ddy up!
It was a wild Excursion to get there. Required some Focus.
We’ll be sure to throw you a Fiesta for your accomplishment. I know one or two cheap Escorts if you’re interested. I’ll tell them to leave the Probe at home this time around.
Headline: RCMP Officers Attacked by a Wild Bronco
Seems like something that might have been published a hundred years ago.
Funny how the more things change, the more they stay the same. (Here’s looking at you, David!)
The worst thing about this story (yes, even worse than the guy destroying 2 govt vehicles and endangering multiple lives) is that the constables supposedly “tazed” him. No they didn’t.
A TASER isn’t called that because it’s used for tazing… or even tasing. It’s called that because it’s an acronym—admittedly a quite dumb acronym (Tom Swift [and His] Electric Rifle)—but its dumbness shouldn’t be a license to make the verb even dumber.
So you could say they tasered him or that they used/deployed their tasers. The point is you have options, but none of them is tazed.
Also… Why no mention of the poor people stuck in the Timmy’s drive-thru for the gods know how long while the cops arrested him and then towed away three vehicles? Just sittin’ there in their sad Canadian cars, late for work, probably needing to pee, their coffees getting cold on that little shelf just inside the window. Those poor bastards are the real victims here.
Are you saying that the English Language©️ is doomed forever, even in the FREEDOM known as AMERICA®️to stay frozen; that usage cannot evolve over time?
Gadzooks! We have no counterpart to the Académie française dictating what is and what ain’t good English; what we can and cain’t say. To paraphrase:
“The English Language has more what you’d call ‘guidelines’ than actual rules.”
–
Too Long/Didn’t Read Version:
Tased, as a verb, has entered the chat.
https://study.com/learn/lesson/french-academy-history-language.html
Agreed. A language that does not evolve is a dead language.
In short: no.
Tased, as a verb, has been sneered at.
https://i.redd.it/7a4ysc75doib1.gif
“sittin'” isn’t a word, it’s a phonetic spelling of a dialect version of “sitting”
“pee” is slang for urine
“dumbness” is made up, better to use, “unintelligence” or “ridiculousness”
I would contend that your examples, while true enough in their own ways, are not similar to the bugbear in which i’ve planted my flag. You have indeed caught me straying from The King’s English©️, as we all tend to do.
But it would be more relevant to cite other examples where we accept people changing a noun to a verb by first being very wrong about what the noun means, the way that tased/tazed does to taser.
Ah well, c’est la vie, as the c’esting goes.
It can see how some of my wording left me open to the charge of Attempting to Prescribe Language Usage, rather than what i was aiming for, which was more like Protesting the Enshittification of Language.
Our language is, of course, always evolving. But it doesn’t have to evolve by being made dumber. When a fellow English-speaker butchers a word, we’re not entitled to shove a bar of soap in their mouth—but we are entitled to point out that they’ve butchered a word and made themselves sound dumb.
The fact that our language permits us to say whatever nonsense thing we want doesn’t mean that the people listening aren’t also allowed to wrinkle up their noses.
[shrug]
This level of pedantry could be admired if you didn’t choose such a terrible example. While one can generally look down one’s nose at turning a noun into a verb capriciously, economy is also an admirable trait in writing. Especially in this case: “informal journalism”. I contend that in this case economy and the fact that “tazed” (in various spellings) has been in the zeitgeist and lexicon going back almost 50 years, it’s use is well established.
Yeah, a lot of dumb things have been around for a long time.
And the usage of pedant has apparently shifted to include “person who notices that the dumb thing is dumb”.
Eh. I’ve been called worse for better reasons.
[insert playful smirk here]
In Canada, I believe they sell this model as the ‘Samsquanch.’
SCTV News reports that Johnny LaRue has been taken into custody.
We’re just glad everyone, including the young man, walked away from this urban off-roading thing!
Why? That man, (25 is old enough to be “man”, not “young man”) made a choice to hit the gas and too damn bad for anyone in the way. He is very lucky those Canadian LEOs showed enormous restraint not to shoot, or at least beat him to a bloody pulp.
I dunno how Canadian law works but I imagine assault with a deadly weapon against cops goes over any easier well with the courts there than it goes over here.
Oh he’ll be guilty.
But he’ll likely get 1 year and be out in 4 months.
Radial Mounted Canadian Police?
I thought Broncos were only good for 3 mph police chases, but then again, this one is a real color and not white lol
I thought the Broncos were only good for an 8-9 season…. oh, not that kind of Broncos.
I kind of get it, most Tims are pretty quick, but I’m not risking imprisonment for a double double.
A.C. seems to be getting more aggressive in his old age
Bronco Sasquatch gets a “Jail-Rated” badge?
Take my like you glorious bastard.
is this a new definition for mall crawler?
I guess the rated payload of a Charger is officially 1/2 of a Jeep.
Assignment:
Make a short film about the _most_ American thing ever, except everything has to be Canadian.
They already make Letterkenny, what more do you want??
The same number of seasons for Shoresy as they gave Letterkenny? Off topic, I know, but Shoresy is freaking great.
I had never heard of it, but 8.6 on IMDb is good enough for me.
In my queue.
Also, aren’t these the same people that were in this YouTube clip I saw with a hot teacher?
Should have sprung for the Rubicon..
also – in USA that guy would would be dead.
Without question.
And that’s sad.
Sad because then he wouldn’t be alive anymore to commit more crimes and endanger more innocent lives in the future…? Living in CA is changing you David. If I was that other cop I would have fired the second he tried to drive over the police car that still had an officer inside!
Agreed. He tried to run over a cop car with an officer inside. His ass should have been shot.
Maybe he was scared because someone was pointing a gun at him and he was trying to get away from it? Stupid, yes, but worth a death sentence?
What would I know? Over here if things go bad the police ask you politely to get out of the car so they can hit you with a stick.
As I said in the other comment, whether deserved or not, there was not a safe shot for the officer. Shooting at a moving vehicle, that went up 4 feet in a matter of a couple seconds would not have been safe. He would be incredibly unlikely to hit the driver, and would be more likely to have a shot go through the bronco entirely, endangering others. I am grateful he did not shoot and it has nothing to do with caring about the driver
You don’t need to live in CA to believe in due process.
Lots of “California has changed you” stuff that has zero to do with me living in California. Really strange.
Some people watch too much Fox News. CA is the boogie man!
Oh bother…
Fired at what? His door? From that angle with the Bronco up like that, you can’t get a clear shot, and should not be shooting. Regardless of whether or not his actions justified it, if you can’t see what you’re shooting at, it’s not safe to shoot.
This is some crazy dystopian BS.
Cops are not Judge Dredd. They do not get to be judge, jury, and executioner.
He forgot to engage the Locker. Good job on the cops there.
I bet he’ll never forget it again now that he’s looking at some time in lock-up.
Good reply. :Thumbs Up:
Gotta be honest. Now I kinda want to see this tried, but, you know, without being a law enforcement incident. I bet an experienced off-roader, not running on adrenaline and taking the time to plot this out, would have been able to get over both vehicles without incident.
It would be fun to watch.
Does this qualify as cruising?