How Bad Could They Be?: 1980 Pontiac Grand Prix vs 1988 Yugo GVL

Welcome back! Today we’re sticking with the same-price theme, and looking at two cars for just under three grand that you’re probably not going to want. But they’re just what caught my eye today. And really, there are worse cars. Aren’t there?

Yesterday’s $5,000 German sedans were both pretty nice, and the positive comments seemed to be about evenly matched. But the big Benz won pretty easily, mostly due to its build quality, it sounds like. And thank you for the correction that the W126 still uses the old Citroën-derived hydropneumatic suspension system. I though it had been switched to a simpler air-ride setup by this point.

Actually, that knowledge makes me want it less. I know how to replace the BMW’s lower control arms, but I wouldn’t touch that Mercedes’s suspension system with a ten-foot breaker bar. Make mine the 7 Series. If I want a Sacco-era Mercedes-Benz, I’ll look for something with nice ordinary shock absorbers.

All right; time for some bad choices. It’s an underpowered malaise-era coupe with a transmission made of peanut butter versus an Eastern Eurpoean import based on a Fiat. You’re welcome.

1980 Pontiac Grand Prix – $2,900

Engine/drivetrain: 3.8-liter overhead valve V6, three-speed automatic, RWD

Location: Alhambra, CA

Odometer reading: 80,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives well

GM’s midsized A-body (later G-body) launched in 1964, and produced some seriously cool cars over the years: Chevelles, Cutlasses, and Skylarks, to name a few. They got bigger, then smaller, then outdated, and that leads us here: to the 1980 Pontiac Grand Prix. Powered by a Buick 231 V6, the precursor to the legendary 3800, this car boasts a whopping 115 horsepower, to haul around 3200 pounds. Speedy it is not. Worse, that milquetoast engine feeds the rear axle through one of GM’s more notable failures – the Turbo-Hydramatic 200 automatic transmission.

Ask an old-school mechanic about the THM200, and you’ll probably give them PTSD. It was meant to be a more efficient and lighter-weight alternative to the THM350, but it was severely under-built, and its failure rate was spectacular. Most of them ended up getting replaced by a 350 (or the lighter-duty version, the 250), but there are probably still a few 200s floating around. Both transmissions’ fluid pans have the same basic shape: a square with one corner cut off. If you want to know which one this car has, count the bolts around the perimeter of the pan: the 200 has eleven, and the stronger 250/350 has thirteen. If it only goes to eleven, you’d better plan on a transmission replacement eventually, especially if you upgrade the engine.

Transmission-related nerdery aside, this car doesn’t look terrible for an American car from 1980. The seat needs reupholstering, and the carpet isn’t in great shape, but the rest of the interior looks all right. I always liked the Pontiac dashboard more than the other A/G-bodies; I like the circle motif. This looks like a base model, so a lot of those circles probably hold idiot lights instead of gauges, but it’s still a cool-looking dash.

Outside, it’s a bit of a mess. I bet it looked pretty cool back when it was new, with two-tone paint, those sweet steel wheels, and no landau top, but time has not been kind to it. The paint has been touched up with a spray can, it looks like, there’s some damage to the driver’s door, and those soft plastic filler panels between the body and the bumpers probably left the chat ages ago. You can get replacements for some cars, but I’m not sure the Grand Prix is one of them.

1988 Yugo GVL – $2,900

Engine/drivetrain: 1.1-liter overhead cam inline 4, four-speed manual, FWD

Location: Palmdale, CA

Odometer reading: 77,000 miles

Operational status: Will start if you pour fuel in the carb, has been parked since 2001

Here we have the perennial whipping-boy at the top of so many “Worst Cars” lists, presumably among those who have never experienced a Dodge Aspen: the Yugo. Built in the former Yugoslavia, based on a Fiat design, and imported to the US by Malcolm Bricklin, the Yugo was supposed to be the next Beetle or Model T. It was the cheapest new car available in the US at the time, and it sold well – at first. But quality problems, political issues, emissions compliance issues, and the lack of maintenance so common to cheap cars doomed it.

This is the ever-so-slightly upmarket GVL model, which has some extra stuff standard but still uses the same 1.1-liter engine and four-speed stick as the base version. It’s an interference engine, with a timing belt that has a service interval of only 40,000 miles, which was part of the maintenance problems. Ignore the timing belt replacement, and the engine ate itself shortly afterward. A similar fate befell an awful lot of Fiat 128s, the car upon which the Yugo was based. At 77,000 miles, this car should be just about due for its third timing belt – but that’s not all it needs. The seller says this car has been sitting since 2001. It will run if you dribble gas into the carb.

Yugos are either “refreshingly simple” inside, or “depressingly cheap,” depending on your point of view. The material quality is wretched, but there’s also almost nothing to break. The worst problems with this one look to have been caused by the sun; not surprising considering its desert location. The seller makes a big deal of the fact that it has a Yugo-branded stereo. I wonder if it still works?

The outside looks presentable, but there is a little rust on the rear hatch, and the paint looks pretty chalky. Again, probably bleached in the sun. The seller says two of the original wheel covers are missing, but all I see are four matching Wal-Mart wheel covers. Me, I’d throw them straight in the trash. I’d rather have bare steelies than those hideous things.

Neither of these is a particularly wise choice, of course. They’re both pretty much crap, but sort of interesting crap, don’t you think? I mean, one is a symbol of Detroit having to be dragged kicking and screaming into the modern car era, and the other is a curiosity from a failed attempt to bring cheap wheels to the masses. They’d both attract lots of lookie-loos and question-askers at a car gathering. Which one is more your speed?

(Image credits: sellers)