Track days are a rite of passage for us gearheads. You get to take your own special car out on track and give it the beans, learning what it’s truly capable of. The smart ones tread carefully at first, probing the limits and driving well within themselves while they’re still new to track driving. The silly ones go ham and trash their vehicles in short order.
Today’s video showcases the latter situation. The title, Cayman S Death Lap, tells you everything you need to know going in. It was uploaded by one F4DDB, who appears to be an Audi TT owner like me. They use their channel to upload a variety of track day videos, the most recent of which was taken at Snetterton Circuit in Norfolk, England on November 16.
From the drop, you can tell you’re witnessing a certain kind of magic in action. Wearing a black helmet, the driver blares out on to the track with one hand slung casually over the steering wheel at 12 o’clock. Soon enough, he’s completely botching a downshift into second. The tires chirp as the compression locks the rear wheels under engine braking. It’s an inauspicious start, and it gets so much worse from here.
If you were looking for a Dos and Don’ts video for driving on the track, this is pretty much it. The driver (heretofore referred to as Black Helmet) has some fundamental misunderstandings about how to drive a vehicle at speed. Less than a minute in, we see him miss a corner entirely. He forces the manual transmission through a vicious downshift without rev-matching. As the tachometer soars, the car is plowing straight on under some degree of braking. He winds the steering to full lock as he understeers straight off the track and into the grass. “You’re a f*****-up asshole,” his friend in the passenger seat remarks, laughing his ass off. We’ll call him White Helmet.
These antics continue as the duo lap the poor first-generation Porsche Cayman S around the British circuit. The Porsche understeers time and again as the driver seemingly lacks the knowledge of when to brake, how much to brake, or when to turn the steering wheel.
Despite hemorrhaging time to these mistakes, the pair eventually close up to a Hyundai, which is making its way around competently, if slowly. “Fuckin’ ell, mate!” exclaims Black Helmet, as White Helmet throws up his hands in exasperation. The Hyundai wisely gets out of the way, giving them all the space they need. The Porsche driver celebrates by passing the Hyundai, fumbles another shift, over-revvs the engine, and tumbles into the grass on the next corner. As he veers back onto the circuit, he’s swiftly passed by a gaggle of cars, including a very cheap and well-driven Renault Clio.
As you’ll remember from my intro, this video isn’t called Fun Day Out or Porsche Track Day In Norfolk. It’s called Cayman S Death Lap, and it’s called that for a reason. As our helmeted hereos keep lapping, Black Helmet keeps up the good work. He’s downshifting the Cayman, hard, like he hates Porsche and everyone who ever worked there.
Just after six minutes in, it happens. Black Helmet grabs the shifter, slamming the ‘box from fifth down to second like a gorilla trying to rip a branch off a tree. The gearbox complies, the rear tires chirp once more in protest. He once again luridly flings the Porsche into the corner one-handed, and calls for more power via his right foot. Only, now, there’s really something wrong.
“Oooh, what’s that noise?” asks White Helmet. Graunching. The 360-degree camera is panning around to show us the view out the back. “The engine’s gone!” exclaims Black Helmet in a dulcet East London accent. We see a puff of white smoke out the rear window. Barely discernable under the grey British sky, it tells you all you need to know.
The duo continues to roll down the circuit, looking for a safe place to stop. “Oh shit,” responds White Helmet. “Look at the smoke!” exclaims Black Helmet. Thick clouds pour from the rear-engined Cayman, covering the track in a thin layer of slippery oil. “Glad you brought your car!” says Black Helmet, perhaps already realizing the Cayman won’t be driving home.
As the Porsche comes to rest, our heroes give the ignition one more hopeful turn. More clouds of smoke, thicker than ever, blanket the car and the cabin. “Oh no, look at it!” exclaims Black Helmet in an accent thick enough to approach parody. It becomes clear to all in attendance. This Porsche is very dead.
I don’t know who the car actually belongs to, but I kind of hope Black Helmet owns the Cayman. I’d hate to think he’d trashed someone else’s car.
If you’re a little green on cars and manual transmissions, I’ll spell it all out for you. The driver was repeatedly downshifting from a high gear to a lower gear that was too low for the current speed of the vehicle. Under these conditions, the wheels of the car are effectively spinning the transmission much faster than the engine’s redline. When you drop the clutch to reconnect the transmission and the engine, the engine “over revs” and is typically damaged or destroyed. That’s why it’s called a “money shift.”
The jury’s out on exactly when the death blow happened. To my eyes, it’s the driver pulling a money shift at just after the 6:30 mark. He goes from fifth to second, and we hear the tires chirp as the engine compression locks from the over-rev. However, some in the comments on YouTube suggest the damage was done earlier during a similar shift at the 5:50 mark. Speculate at will in the comments.
As an aside, there’s another video on the same YouTube channel from earlier in the day. This time, it’s White Helmet behind the wheel. He’s actually a lot more controlled behind the wheel. While he’s still driving largely one-handed, he’s much smoother on the shifts and on the brakes, and doesn’t understeer nearly as badly. He’s actually pretty good at keeping it on the circuit, unlike his black-helmetted mate, The Engine Killer.
If you’re wondering, your first track day should look a lot more like the above. Smooth, steady, less squeals, less grass adventures, less blown engines.
As for the blown engine? Experienced drivers at the track probably saw this coming a mile away. This thing was going to end up blown up or in the wall thanks to that driving style. Real talk, I’ve been to the circuit a good few times. Marshalls at your local circuit will get very tense—even angry—if you drive like this. They’re not being jerks, either—they’re responsible for everybody’s safety out there. Running out of control repeatedly throughout a lap like that puts both you and other vehicles at risk. As for blowing an engine, that scatters debris and oil everywhere. It spoils the track, requires a lot of cleanup, and can see other cars ending up in the wall if you make a big mess, too.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t wanna beat up on anybody. At the same time, driving like this needs to be called out. It’s dangerous, simple as that. Honestly, a blown engine was probably the better result here. We’d all rather see that then the Porsche ending up in the wall and somebody getting injured.
If you see one of your friends driving like this, have a chat with them. Tell them to get some professional instruction before they get thrown out of the session. If you recognize yourself in this driving style, do the same! There’s no shame in learning! Plus, you just might save an expensive car from an untimely death, and you and your buddy from some online embarrassment.
Image credits: via YouTube screenshot
[Thanks to Jeremy from Oppositelock for the tip! You rock!]
Couldn’t have happened to a better guy
Well it’s a lot cheaper than a 1970s 911 engine, and now it’s an excellent candidate for a Renegade Hybrid LS swap.
Doesn’t matter. The IMS bearing was going to fail in 2 more laps.
So when did Beavis and Butt Head acquire a Porsche?
And had to stop watching.
The only thing educational here is.
How to do everything wrong. YMMV
I couldn’t watch it…..I’ve spent too much time on track to see idiots like this, and it seems like it’s always behind the wheel of a Porsche!
I always thought “money shift” referred to an upshift without clutching, which usually destroys the transmichigan?
I don’t know where ‘money shift’ comes from, but it’s totally possible to upshift and also downshift without using the clutch. It takes a bit of practice and you have to know the car, but all you have to do is put it in neutral and then rev the engine to the RPM that it will run at in the gear you wanna select (similar to rev matching, but without pressing the clutch pedal). If you do it right, you can shift as smoothly as if you were using the clutch.
It’s probably not very good for the synchronization rings if you do it regularly , but it’s doable.
It’s called floating the gears in the trucking world, and that is just how we do it every day. Can’t single clutch an unsycronized transmission, and double clutching all the gears is hard on the knee.
Wiktionary has it as downshift. Upshifts without clutching are actually quite possible if you’re careful, I do it at low load in my Audi all the time. Granted, I probably wouldn’t attempt it on track.
Upshifts are easier because the engine’s RPM will naturally go down if you lift your right foot. So, during this moment (while the engine is slowing down to idling speed), it will at some point be at the exact speed that it has to be, it will be synchronized for a short time. But the principle is the same: engine speed has to match vehicle speed for the gear you want to select.
Money shift is a downshift because you overrev and nuke the engine and/or trans, and that just cost you a lot of money.
Money shift usually refers to a downshift that was intended to go from 5th gear to 4th, for instance, but mistakenly shift into 2nd instead. Or it could be intending to go into 3rd but go into 1st by mistake. Let the clutch out and it over revs the engine. It seems this guy was actually intentionally jamming it down into 2nd way before his speed was low enough to do that, then dumping the clutch. Same result. Usually it’s a mistake. In this case it seems to just be stupidity.
I thought, based on their one handed driving style, that maybe they needed one of those “suicide knobs” on the steering wheel.
Then I realized, based on their one handed driving style, that there were two suicide knobs installed already; one in each seat.
Yeah the black helmet driver was really ham-handed with how he shifted and how he handled the car.
The problem is he didn’t know the track and probably wasn’t familiar with the car.
So he’d go into corners too fast, sounded like he was repeatedly overrevving the engine when downshifting and probably would benefit greatly from taking some race car driving classes.
Am I looking at the definition of the word, wanker?
It sure did look like that was what he was trying to do to the shift lever.
Yes, the archetypal wanker has more dollars (or quid, in this case) than brain cells.
Really hoping that vehicle belongs to the driver. Nonchalantly destroying a vehicle like this was so unnecessarily wasteful.
That was a very expensive thing to do. I hesitate to call it a mistake. This video is proof that dollars don’t buy sense.
I don’t have a problem with someone destroying their own car – hooning is a personal choice, I won’t shift shame others.
However, this looks like a poorly managed track day, certainly compared to the ones I’ve attended. Passengers are discouraged (unless they’re instructors) and this guy would have been black flagged on the first off.
It honestly looks like he was just there to fuck around with his buddy and doesn’t care about damaging the car. His driving risked the safety and wallets of the other attendees, which isn’t okay. Blowing up a car on the track also closes the track down while they clean it and your car up off the track which is a waste of everyone’s time and money.
Very uncool.
Yeah, just seeing the way he ploughed right into the grass… I was worried how the video was going to end
That looked less like track driving and more like a drugged-out joyride in a stolen car. I’m just amazed the engine gave out before they put themselves into a wall and/or other driver.
I blame F1 myself. Ever since they got auto boxes, which shift down electronically very fast, and you can gawp at it in HD TV, people think you can do the same in manuals.
Think you have to drop down to Formula Renault or something now before you get an auto box in a single seater.
What a troglodyte, seriously. This wasn’t a case of slightly overdriving, he’s just an idiot. The coupe de grace is taking his helmet off while still on an active track.
Sadly, looks like the Fast N Furious phenomenon can’t be said to be solely an American vehicular low point. His entire driving approach is 100% Dom Toretto. Absolutely no need to keep your hand glued to the shifter instead of on the wheel where it might do some good.
Right. This driver would have been better off keeping it in third gear for the entire track and kept his hands on the wheel. Stay within the powerband you have. Not sure if you can with a Cayman on that track but that is what I did when learning to drive a track at Bondurant years ago in a CTS-V before then graduating to laps where you could shift. Focus on the lines first, then add speed within control.
Me too – every track time I’ve done (car or bike), the instructors have told me get it into the proper gear as fast as you can, leave it there, and concentrate on the line and the steering inputs. I’m still terrible, so I’m still at that stage!
Oof. Pretty sure that guy would have been black flagged right away at the events I go to then had a very unpleasant conversation in the pits. The folks running safety for these events do not suffer fools.
That poor car. I’m not a Porsche guy but it hurts to watch a fine machine being mistreated like that.
Lewin, I usually very much enjoy your writing, and can only guess you thought there was some teachable value here, but please don’t bring Jackass crap here.
I stand by it—there is teachable value here!
If you see your friend understeering off a simple corner and munching shifts, you have to have a chat with them. Similarly, if this helps someone ahead of their first track day to realize what not to do, that’s a positive thing.
I think the level idiocy displayed is far below the readership here, and can’t condone giving fools more exposure.
After his track day he probably went to a gun range and fired Glocks while holding them sideways.
If he’s gonna drive like that I know a track in Maryland that’s perfect for him.
You mean DC? Maryland drivers treat our roads like a track
We don’t get many Maryland plates out west, but without exception the ones that we do all drive like complete cunts, and given how shit our drivers are that is saying something. What is it about the state that breeds dickhead drivers?
I mean the backyard track recently covered here.
Snetterton is in England. The only gun he’d be able to shoot at a local range would be a 12-gauge shotgun.
Snett used to be my local track.
I assume by that you mean 270 and 495?
Having driven on both today… Maryland (and DC and VA) drivers are mostly just inconsiderate asses. There’s too much traffic to treat either of those roads like tracks.
Having lived around that area for far too long (thankfully no longer, but I visit family on occaision there) there are plenty of mostly Nissans, Chargers/Challengers, and clapped econoboxes that still find a way to pull out runs at 20 over and constant weaving through traffic.
I’s summarize the drivers as almost all of have one or more of the following:
Completely unaware of their surroundings (captivated by their phones)
Belligerent, impatient, or inconsiderate
Purely reckless
Too scared to do any speed that’s greater than 10 under the limit
And despite all this, I rarely see anyone pulled over. As far as I can think, most of the cops I’ve seen pulled over on the side of the road are either stationary with massive speed cameras strapped to the front, or assisting and accident, rather than enforcing traffic code.
Woof – I’m just glad he only hurt his wallet. This could have been a bad day for everyone else out there.
Not a racer by any means I but did attend a 3 day Skip Barber car control course with some autocross in 2000. Know your limits and build your skills, slow in and fast out. Control the car, don’t let it control you. Watch ahead, way ahead – look to where you want the car to be. Learn to downshift properly!! Both hands on the wheel.
What a way to start one’s morning, reading about some damn schmuck destroying a car through what seems to be willfully inept driving and having the article punctuated at regular intervals by spam-bait ads featuring Chuck Norris. Wonder what other damn schmucks this day will bring, given its inauspicious start, ha. Yeah, I know, I could’ve chosen not to read the article but sometimes it’s like watching a train wreck, it’s hard to tear one’s eyes away. At least I didn’t watch the videos…
Anyway, part of the impetus for posting this comment is the concern about the new direction the ads seem to be taking, at least at this time of writing; hopefully it’s just an aberration and one won’t have to deal any more with being shown Chuck Norris’s visage (multiple times, at that) while reading this fine automotive website.
Why don’t I get to see Chuck Norris? I feel ripped off.
Check your ad blocker.
Eh, no, I don’t use ad blockers. Websites like this one rely on ads so it’s only fair that if one’s not paying a subscription one puts up with ads (up to a point, like I rarely if ever read overbearingly ad-heavy websites like the old site.)
Half joking – I think they strike a fair balance. The Old Lighting Site has become damn near unreadable.
That said, it’s fine whatever you all have to do to keep this website running as long as you don’t have to resort to the Pyrrhic victory of surviving by accepting overly obtrusive and intrusive (paging Darth Trusive) ads rendering the website unreadable like what happened with the old site.
That awful gaudy aftermarket steering wheel told me all I needed to know. I’ve yet to meet someone with one of those carbon/alcantara/contrast stitching monstrosities who is even a halfway competent driver.
Theres a 10/10 chance that aftermarket alcantara airbag cover will not deploy correctly. Also alcantara on an airbag? Suede is for grip! I sure hope you’re not clutching onto your airbag cover on a regular basis.
“Also alcantara on an airbag? ”
Pure luxury!
Nothing says luxury like the number of digits on a Porsche engine rebuild bill!
Well if you’re rebuilding anyway why not put some alcantara on those airbags?
This guy learned to race on Need for Speed games or something. Maybe Pole Position. And he definitely has more money than sense. If you spend the money on the car, spend the time and money to learn how to handle it.
Glad no one was hurt and I hope he learns his lesson and gets some training.
1000% video game driving.
Can confirm, video game shifting was achieved.
I was reminded of how I would drive as a 10-year-old in Gran Turismo: full send and without braking into the corners.
That poor car. Obviously, the guy has a boy racer mentality and learned to drive by watching Fast and the Furious movies.
The cynic in me says he’s doing it deliberately for the rage-bait clicks.
Could be. This car may have been one lap from the crusher anyway. Either that, or this dude has way too much time and money on his hands, hence is able to chuckle his way through destroying an expensive car.
WhistlnDiesel wannabe.
Whenever I see these types of videos I’m confused as to how they even happen. The track I go to won’t even let you go out without an instructor until they’ve sat with you on multiple HPDE days and determined you’re skilled enough to not be babysat/won’t drive like a jagoff. Unless you have documentation of completing a certain amount of hours behind the wheel or complete them with one of their instructors they’re not letting you go out there and beat the shit out of your car.
And as Lewin mentions, track marshalls are supposed to be all over this shit…and they’re not paid to be nice. If you fuck something up you’re going to get waved off the track and you’re going to get an earful that usually involves some expletives. The primary goal isn’t for everyone to have fun and be pals, it’s for everyone to be safe.
This is a tragic waste of a great car by the average brexit geezer. You hate to see it.
Not sure if you’re in the UK but track days here are a mixed bag – there are some days which are just like the track you go to, but other days are closer to Touristfahrten on the Nordschleife. I’m thinking this was a little bit closer to that end of the spectrum given the variety of cars on track at once.
I’m on the other side of the pond so my perspective is based on Murican track days
It was the Brexit comment that threw me – excellent use of ‘Geezer’!
My brother in law is an Englishman of the Very English variety and for some reason British memes always find their way to me, so I’m probably more up on the jokes and lingo than most yanks
I left a trackday at Silverstone after just one session because the standard of driving was so bad I was scared of being taken out by a moron.
I’ve also been black flagged at a properly run track day for setting off the decibel meter with tyre noise. We had a nice chat and they recommended some tracks with higher noise limits.
No kidding, I’ve seen far more harsh crackdowns after a single off-course incident at a n autocross event, not to mention a universally higher level of skill, care and attention despite the lower cost of entry.
I have gone to some, like the SCCA sponsored “Track Night in America” where you get some instruction prior to going on track, then you get a low speed, follow the leader run and then you go out on your own.
It’s generally well-monitored and they will flag you for stuff like this quickly (I’m sure they don’t want to clean up oil and transmission parts off the track) but there’s never any instructor in the car.
I know that one operates across much of the country so it could vary in rules from different locations.