Good morning! It’s our fourth and final day of this short week, and it’s Friday, which is usually when we get a little bit silly. And what’s sillier than small cars with loud V8s, especially when one of them didn’t originally come with one?
Yesterday’s trucks-in-kit-form left a lot of you questioning the prices. But as I’ve said before: I don’t price ’em, I just report ’em. And really, a good engine overhaul is a couple grand anyway, so these don’t seem too far out of line to me – especially the Ram 50, which includes the engine stands and hoists. I have a feeling that’s what put it over the top in the votes.
I think that’s the way I’d go, too; the extended cab is nice to have, but I’d rather have 4WD, and I fit fine in small single-cab trucks. I don’t know where I’d put the hoist and engine stands and stuff, though; my garage is jam-packed as it is. Maybe I could build another shed?
Moving on to today’s choices: Give a young guy a V8 car, and he’ll probably cut the muffler off it to make more noise. Give a young guy with some wrenching skills a car with no engine, and he’ll find a way to stick a V8 in it. Either way, his neighbors are going to hate him. But as we enter what is probably the twilight of the internal combustion engine, I can’t help but side with those who still love to hear that V8 pulse at idle, and listen to it roar when you open it up. I find myself winding out my own V8s on freeway on-ramps, not because I have to accelerate that quickly, but because I like to hear the sound. So what the hell; let’s make some V8 noises today, with one formerly-refined Porsche, and one imported classic that’s sure to annoy the purists among you.
1984 Porsche 928S – $4,995
Engine/drivetrain: 4.7-liter overhead cam V8, four-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Chula Vista, CA
Odometer reading: 151,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
The market for old air-cooled Porsches has, as we all know, gone absolutely insane in recent years. Even a rusty 914 will set you back more than it should these days. You’d expect that rising tide to lift all boats, but the front-engined water-cooled models are still pretty affordable – if you don’t mind them a little scruffy. 924s and 944s are easy to find, but a running and driving 928 for a cheap price is a little more special. This one is not exactly in good condition, but it’s not terrible either.
It’s hard to remember, with the numbers posted by modern supercars, but in its day, this was a legitimately fast car. Even the US version, with less power than the European edition, managed a 0-60 time of 6.6 seconds and a top speed of 143 miles an hour. Serious stuff, quicker and faster than even that private investigator’s little red car. This one has been modified a bit, but apart from a more free-flowing (and much louder) exhaust, the seller isn’t specific about the modifications. It runs and drives well, though it has been in storage for a couple of years, so there might be a few cobwebs to expel.
It always seems that the downfall of cheap Porsches is the interior, and that’s definitely the case here. The seats have been replaced, and are in fair shape, but the dash, door panels, and rear seats are toast. It’s probably prohibitively expensive to restore, but it also doesn’t matter a whole lot if you’re just looking for something to bomb around in.
Most of the outside is OK, but the left rear quarter panel has obviously seen some action. That’s old cracked Bondo if I’ve ever seen it. This 928 was clearly in an accident and repaired badly. Again, you can just leave it alone if all you want to do is zoom around making V8 noises.
1987 Chrysler Conquest TSi – $4,200
Engine/drivetrain: 350 cubic inch overhead valve V8, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Lake Zurich, IL
Odometer reading: 87,000 miles
Operational status: Starts, runs, and moves – but has no cooling system yet
Chrysler’s pony-car game in the 1980s was a little strange. While the Mustang, Camaro, and Firebird were all riding high, Chrysler had to make do with the K-car-based Daytona and Laser twins. They could hold their own performance-wise, but front-wheel-drive was a hard sell in that market. Chrysler offered a RWD choice, but it came in the form of a captive import: the Conquest, a re-badged Mitsubishi Starion, and even it lacked a V8, being instead powered by a turbocharged four-cylinder. Somewhere in the life of this particular Conquest, someone “remedied” that, and swapped in a small-block Chevy V8 – and, possibly even more blasphemous to those who love this car as it was – a three-speed automatic.
Chevy V8s have been the go-to for cheap horsepower ever since the 1950s. Today, it’s the modern LS-based engines that are favored, but whoever did this swap decided to go old-school, with a good old small-block with tube headers and a four-barrel carb sitting up high on a tall aluminum intake. Behind that is a Turbo-Hydramatic 350 automatic, beefed up for performance. It’s a rock-solid combination, as much as some might say it doesn’t belong here. The seller has a new aluminum radiator to keep it all cool, but it isn’t installed yet – obviously brackets don’t exist for this application, so some will have to be made. After that, it should be ready to go.
The Conquest’s cool 80s-futuristic interior appears to be intact, though, and not in terrible shape. The center console has been modified to accept a shifter for the automatic – and no surprise, it’s the same Hurst (or something) ratchet-style seen in so many modified Cutlasses and Monte Carlos over the years. But everything else looks all right. I don’t know how much of the original instrument panel works with the new engine, however.
It’s a little bit rusty around the rear wheels, but it’s straight. The nose and hood have been modified to fit the V8 and its larger radiator, and I can’t say I think much of the big cowl-induction lump on the hood or the side exhausts. American hot-rod cues like those on a Japanese performance car just look out of place.
Life is too short, as the saying goes, to drive boring cars, and whatever faults these two may have, you can’t say they’re boring. Planting your right foot firmly on the gas pedal of either one of these is bound to bring a smile to the most jaded face, even if just for a moment. So come on – live a little. Which one are you going to do a burnout in?
(Image credits: sellers)
I want a 928 so bad, but by the time I get a nice one, I’m up near 911 money (which I don’t have).
As the former owner of a black 928 that was very loud (rear muffler bypass), this is an easy call. Yeah that rear corner is shitty and there are all kinds of things that will nickel and dime you to death, but a 928 is still a wickedly cool car.
Shit. I thought I’d want both of these, badly.
Quite the opposite.
Gaak!, why the automatics? Ok, so no go on the Conquest auto that need a cooling system and money to sort out.
Not loving the 928 here but after putting money and effort into it, at least it would be a 928 again that I could probably sell without much effort after I got tired of bombing around in it. I really wish it was a stick though.
The automatic does suit this car – it’s a GT, not a sports car. And you can still manually select the gears with the auto, but really, just put your foot down, she’ll go.
Always have hated autos even in a GT or boulevardier like the early 90’s Z. These days you don’t lose too much through the auto or double-clutch (like Porsche’s PDK) but in the mid-80’s they just sucked. You would put your foot down and nothing except some noise and a loss of power before it would start to go. At highway speed sure, but if you were in corners, you really wanted to drop down coming out of the apex. These autos just bogged down from one corner to the next. And to think that the 928 was going to replace the 911 seems even crazier than it did back then.
I have an ’87 S4 and if you step on it, it goes. I can’t speak to the ’84 (I think that might still have the 3-speed).
Ah, now that S4 was something. Bumped up to 316 hp or so and better brakes and suspension.
Not sure if that 84 has a 3 or 4spd auto. I think the 4spd auto was an option that year.
None of the above, even for imaginary internet dollars. CP x 2 = ND
If only I could find a running S4 at that price. I’ve wanted a 928 for years… but not an S. I’ve restored a 951… so I have a reasonable idea of what I’d be getting into (which is buying it and then spending a couple of years working on it while shelling out twice what I bought it for on top of the purchase price)
Where were you 9 years ago when I sold my 1990 S4 for a song? About a year after that, people seemed to decide 928s are worth something and the prices have been going up ever since. Good luck in your quest.
Porsche, I guess it’d be more respectable to have sitting inoperable in my driveway if that happens. The Conquest looks like someone wished they owned an IROC-Z but settled for the Chrysler. I’d rather have the Porsche’s crumbling rear quarter panel than the sloppy hood scoop and rather lame motor swap.
The Quasi-Mitsu is just too hacked. I’d rather figure out what Porsche engineers were thinking than trying to understand what my neighbor in Lake Zurich was doing in between 12-packs of Old Milwaukee.
Plus, with the 928 you can pop the hood and show people the red intake runners, which of course make the car go faster. They’re like “speed holes”.
Porsche, though only because that poor Conquest was done so, so wrong with that V8 swap. The TH350 was a mistake, for sure, but with a motor plate setup mounted to some angle iron welded to the inner subframe, that thing will be incredibly unpleasant to drive and will certainly begin shredding mounts and the inner fenders should it ever get to the point of actually being driven. Sure, all of that could be fixed, but if that is representative of the quality of the swap, the rest of the car is probably even worse.
Like, 318’s and 360’s are cheap and plentiful, maybe not as much as a 350, but more than most engines. Was it really that hard to do that?
The Porsche will get the easy win here, I bet.
Wow, this is a hard one. I like both of these cars, but neither of these examples. Gross. The Conquest is a cool car, but with the OG engine, not a Chevy engine that appears to questionable in its adaptation. A 928 with an automatic is a fail. I went with the Porsche because I believe the parts are worth the cost of it, but I want neither one.
A rundown 928 Porsche will drain your bank account faster than an exploding above ground swimming pool. YouTube is littered with people who have tried to resurrect them, all at great expense. At least you can buy an oil filter for the 350 at your local parts store.
And the owner bought the cooling system parts at Home Depot.
I picked the Porsche. The Mitsu needs to be about half that price.
Holy Hell, I am actually very disappointed that Conquest with so few miles was molestered that way. I would much rather have a blown stock turbo 4 in this case as repairs on that would be far less aggravating than trying to make that thing run cool long enough to use it for anything. It would also not pass inspection anywhere except maybe Iowa and Kansas. Though I know, most of us probably know a guy that can handle that.
Porsche is really rough and I loathe the buy here pay here vibes I get from that seller, but even with a tetanus inducing interior, I would still rather have the Porschette. Of course keeping it running is of course the key here. but still.
No inspection or emissions in Michigan, and I’d still take the Porsche….
The low mile molestation means that blown stock 4 was blown.
The Conquest needs a better drivetrain, but will be easier to swap.
The 928 is a no-go cause of the trans. It’s the same 722.3 that’s in my w126 Mercedes, but mounted in the rear to be more of a pain in the ass. Those slushboxes usually have 200k tops in them. The one in my Merc only lasted to 300 cause it’s being turned by a 140hp diesel.
That, combined with the plywood mounted electrical that likes to fail if you mention it’s existence, makes it not worth it. Now, if it was a manual 928, I’d be willing to fix the electrical.
Notice the recent work done to it include putting “air in the tires” instead of the minimal requirement of replacing all fluids in the cooling system and transaxle and I think you are likely onto the next big thing that will need attention. but still, even though a better swap to a more competent V8 is likely sort of started, the actual work to make it happen is likely far more expensive than one would think.
That rear fender on the Porsche looks pretty janky, but, as they say, “I know a guy” who can sort that out.
Interior too. Body work can be quite pricy if you are not willing to do a lot your own sanding and polishing, but that thing being so close to TJ, surely a tuck and roll interior and Candy Midnight Black paint job is not going to be all that expensive.
I voted for the Conquest, looks like it would be fun for a cheap “beater” summer car. And it seemed all the hard work may actually be done, a radiator wouldn’t be hard to get mounted. And long term, it would be far easier to keep on the road than the Porsche.
However, then I noticed the alternator. That looks like they were trying to keep a low profile to keep it under the hood. However, it looks like the lower bolt is mounted to the frame, with the tension adjustment support coming from the engine. Unless they used solid mounts for the engine, that means it’s likely every time you rev the engine you risk throwing that belt. If that’s the type of engineering that went into the rest of the swap, I might regret my vote…
It’s a motor plate setup – instead of motor mounts tied to the block beneath the exhaust, there’s a plate behind the water pump and timing cover that bolts to some angle iron that was welded to the chassis. The belt throwing is less of a concern than snapping welds or tearing the chassis, not to mention the absolute harshness that comes with running no vibration isolation devices and not allowing the engine to move at all.
I think the overheating issue is likely the biggest concern here. there is no reason for this guy not to “fab” up some mounting tabs and sell it in running condition. I imagine it actually did overheat pretty badly and now needs some internal engine work. that being said, I could also be wrong. But the other thing here is that car is also likely now sporting a TH350 3 speed. A 700R4 would require the TV cable which I am not seeing and likely tunnel massaging to make it fit. I would also want to at least go to tuned port or better yet LS 5.4 intake to get rid of the stupid hood, but can you even find a replacement hood for those, factory or otherwise.
Yeah, I believe it said it was a TH350 and not a 700R4 (or 200-4R). You may well be right about overheating, but judging by the rust on the engine it looks like it could also be a project that got started many years ago and never finished.
Yeah, I saw the plate, and the vertical angle iron being used to mount it, around the same time as the alternator. The alternator was the icing on the cake, especially since the lower bolt does not appear to be mounted to that plate but to the frame rail. If they just welded the angle iron to a lower cross member and everything is stiff enough, it is likely the alternator won’t be an issue. But as you note, EVERYTHING else will be.
This thing is local to me, I’m half tempted to go check it out to see what other jankiness it hides.
all the jankiness
That Porsche looks like risky business. (Sorry.)
Had to go with the Starion/Conquest today, though that engine & tranny combination in that car is an abomination.
Ha ha, I see what you did there. Makes you wonder if the odo has been wound back in the same manner.
I should have made a crack about being underwater with that Porsche, too.
My favorite line from that movie was when the mechanic asked “who’s the U-boat commander?”
I’ll take the Porche with problems, but I will admit, the “Annoy JDM people” comment almost got me on the Chrysler crapbox side.
Jonboy’s Deviant Mitsu
This sums up my vote perfectly!
“I’ll take the Porsche for $4,995 so I can annoy Porsche people”
I voted the conquest/starion but would not really want either and I love 80s wedge mobiles and both of these cars if they were in much better shape I would love them but as they sit now the conquest is less crap I guess.
The Porsche looks like something from an old Top Gear challenge, but it runs so I’ll go with it.
Rather have a car that looks like a flounder, than one that will. Porsche.
This might be the worst one yet. The Bondo Incident Porsche or the JC Whitney Hood Scoop Conquest.
Maybe I’ll just throw a dart to decide. Ugh.
I’d rather fix somebody else’s work on a brick-stupid 350 small block than try to sort out somebody else’s terrible body repair work.