It might be hard to be a mainstream European automaker, but it ain’t so bad if you make so few cars you can charge double the MSRP cost for a ‘customized’ version. This is the world Rolls-Royce wants to enter as it doubles down on extravagance. Can you have whatever you want? According to the new CEO, the answer is “yes.”
Today’s Morning Dump is all about scale. Perhaps it’s easier to make a few thousand very expensive cars than it is to make your money on small margins on a few hundred thousand cars. Just ask Stellantis. The board is coming to New York and CEO Carlos Tavares is going to present his plan to save the company and, possibly, his job.
Another way to make it easier to build cars is to wait for your neighbor to invade another country and swoop in and grab a bunch of auto plants once operated by Western automakers. It seems to be working for Chery.
And, finally, legendary executive Ratan Tata passed away, giving us a chance to review the scale of his accomplishments.
RR CEO: As Long As It’s Safe, We’ll Build It
Rolls-Royce has a relatively new CEO, Chris Brownridge, and a brand new bespoke office in New York, so he’s out doing media. My favorite interview is probably with Germany’s Manager Magazine, partially just for this exchange:
Brownridge: Have you seen the Phantom Scintilla that we presented at the Concours d’Elegance in Pebble Beach?
Interviewer: To be honest: no.
That colon is giving me life this morning.
Also, guess what? I have. Unlike Manager Magazin I believe in doing the hard work. Hitting the ground. Pounding the pavement. If I have to eat two dozen oysters, drink a few glasses of champagne, and try some bourbon bacon in order to get the story I’ll do it because I’m a damn professional!
The Scintilla is inspired by the Greek statue of the Nike of Samothrace, which I have also seen in The Louvre (brag). My preference, if I had the money, would be for a car inspired by the Venus Callipyge (IYKYK).
And they’d do it, too, as there’s apparently no real limit (other than safety) to what people can order:
Interviewer: But aren’t you walking a fine line here?
Brownridge: I don’t see any risk there and we are not the taste police. Every Rolls-Royce is individually tailored to the customer’s wishes. If you prefer a dark car with an understated design, you can have that.
When he says there’s no risk, it’s probably because of this, from an interview with CNBC:
Rolls-Royce calls its top level of personalization the “Bespoke” program. Creating a Bespoke Rolls can add hundreds of thousands of dollars to the sticker price, which for a Rolls-Royce Phantom is just under $500,000, bringing the total sale price of some cars to more than $1 million.
The Private Office is reserved for the most complicated — and expensive — Bespoke projects. It’s not a dealership and there are no actual cars displayed. To get into the Private Office, customers press a black security screen outside an unmarked building and take a secure elevator to the top floor.
Like most European automakers, sales for BMW-owned Rolls-Royce are down. It’s possible it’s because of Chinese demand, though BMW hasn’t broken out Chinese sales of the brand lately (or, at least, I can’t find that data). Overall, Rolls-Royce global sales were down 16% in Q3.
The brand is apparently still quite profitable, which again makes sense if you can make the cars you produce way more expensive. This is becoming a big trend in the auto industry and I don’t hate it. A bunch of grey Rollers doesn’t move me and it’s exciting to see what artisans can pull off with enough money and time.
The ethics of being a billionaire are a topic of conversation for another type of website, but if you’ve got the money at least do something fun with it.
You Probably Don’t Want To Be A Stellantis Exec Right Now
I’m not allowed to do a Stellantis-led TMD for at least a few days because the company has become something like a punching bag lately. So you’re getting this as the second story today. See, David, I’m listening!
There’s a Stellantis board meeting in New York this week to talk about the future of the company and it’s probably an important one given that the company is in crisis and the board is already hinting that it’s looking for a new CEO. This means that CEO Carlos Tavares, pictured above, is going to have to explain what the company is going to do in order to survive this mess.
According to Bloomberg, that means an executive shakeup:
Stellantis Chief Executive Officer Carlos Tavares is planning a deep management reshuffle in response to the automaker’s disastrous profit warning, according to people familiar with the situation.
Tavares may present his proposal at a board of directors meeting in the U.S. this week, said the people, who asked not to be identified discussing internal matters. The cuts could affect various departments, from finance teams to regional heads as well as brand executives, they said.
I don’t see a version of this meeting that doesn’t end with someone losing their job. The open question is whether or not the board accepts Tavares’s position that “he will stick to his mandate to the end and that the current headwinds “in no way” put his strategy in question.”
Chery Takes Over Former Mercedes, VW, And Nissan Plants
Remember when Russia was just a sometimes ornery trading partner that was slowly integrating itself into the global economy? Neither do I. Clearly underestimating the resolve of the brave Ukrainian people, Russia invaded Ukraine and tried to toss out its democratically elected government. A terrible, bloody war followed.
The international community reacted quickly and, due to sanctions and pressure, almost every Western company has pulled out of the country. Mercedes, Volkswagen, and Nissan in particular shut down and sold off what they could when they could.
Guess who filled the void? China. From Reuters:
Chinese carmakers have grabbed more than half of Russia’s car market in terms of sales since most Western counterparts abandoned the country following Moscow’s February 2022 invasion of Ukraine.
Now, they are extending their reach to account for more of Russia’s domestic production, too, highlighting how Beijing is playing a more influential role in Russia’s changing manufacturing landscape and economy since the invasion.
In addition to finished car imports into Russia, Chery, which makes up almost a fifth of Russia’s passenger car sales, is importing nearly finished cars and completing the assembly in three Russian factories, the people said.
Neither Russia, for pride reasons, nor China, for Western relations reasons, seem super pumped to talk about this.
Ratan Tata, Indian Industrialist, Dead At 86
Ratan Tata was one of the most influential Indian leaders of the last quarter-century at least, growing Tata Group from a national company to a global powerhouse.
As a car fan, you might know him as the guy whose company released the super cheap Tata Nano or, perhaps, as the company that purchased Jaguar Land Rover from Ford. The company’s reach extends far beyond just cars, including everything from Europe’s massive Corus steelmaker to British tea company Tetley.
His company announced this morning that Mr. Tata passed away:
It is with a profound sense of loss that we bid farewell to Mr. Ratan Naval Tata, a truly uncommon leader whose immeasurable contributions have shaped not only the Tata Group but also the very fabric of our nation.
RIP to a real one.
What I’m Listening To While Writing TMD
Not going to lie, the first time I heard “New Slang” from The Shins was probably on the Garden State soundtrack. I’m not sure how well the movie has held up, but this soundtrack is still bangers from coast-to-coast.
The Big Question
Which carmaker would you have make a bespoke car for you and what would you have them do?
TBQ: If I’m really dreaming Singer could build me a max effort late fox mustang GT… All the powertrain and chassis dev with a super posh subtly sexed up interior and carbon body…
I’d have Oscar Meyer build me a car. Instead of a giant “weiner-mobile” it would be a “pig in a blanket” based on a Miata chassis.
My bespoke vehicle would be an electric pickup, 4.5ft bed with midgate, crew cab, opening sunroof, and minivan style doors that run the full length of the cab. It’d have a frunk, and at least 10kw of ac power output. Lean into cabover styling with a lower grill to increase pedestrian safety and maximize cabin size for a given wheelbase, and make it somewhere between maverick and ranger sized.
It would be built by a Lucid-Ford partnership.
TBQ:
If the stipulation is that it has to be a bespoke model of a currently available car, I’m getting Ford to build me a Cougar. Start with the current Mustang (of course), and start making styling tweaks. The front on the current Mustang is pretty flat as it is, so a shaving razor grille with hideaways a la the 1969 Cougar should work okay. Maybe square up the roofline a little bit; bring in the back window and shrink the C pillar some and stretch out the rear deck. The rear of the car is a bit too slanted for the shaving razor taillights to work, so the rear end will need to be squared up some as well. The two I-Pads on the dash need to go. I need something that fits the dashboard better. If the gauge cluster has to be digital, it needs to shrink in height some. Maybe give it one of those special modes that changes the speedo; but make it a rectangular speedo rather than the rally gauges. I need physical controls for climate and radio, so we’ll ditch that I-Pad and figure out how to make it fit. From here, we’ll set the Lincoln people loose on the interior. I don’t need racecar seats; I need comfortable seats, preferably in white. Let’s get some wood applique on that dashboard, too. Paint the car in a nice Grabber Blue and I’m good to go.
Or I could just buy a 2005 Mustang GT, I guess.
I’d have Alfa Romeo make me a small, nimble little roadster. Could call it something evocative, like a ‘Spider’. Y’know, like an MX-5 but with some Italian flair.
Re the big question:
When Tinibone consulting PTY LTD is sold for an 11 figure sum (still need to figure out what we’ll do to get there but that’s a minor detail) I’d go to Rolls and get them to commission Pininfarina for a custom luxury coupe body over a phantom chassis. Bring back the coach built classics
Can I forfeit my bespoke to axe the Chicken Tax and bring in small world trucks like the Hilux?
I would like a Genesis G80 two door coupe. Is that so wrong?
Have them make two and I’ll grab the other one.
I’d get Cadillac to make me a 2-door convertible version of the CT6 Blackwing, red with a white top and white leather interior. And I’d make them badge it a Coupe DeVille.
I’d be happy if Toyota would just let me order something with their existing options instead of begging a dealer for a car with stuff I don’t want.
Bespoke car? I’d hire me a carrozzeria to take on the Lexus LS. If I had money, I probably could solicit a few concepts before picking one.
I’d have Pininfarina make the C8 look better.
I did see a convertible conversion on a 2021 Challenger Scat Pack. It was bespoke enough for me to take a double glance. I might consider a convertible Hellcat Demon 170 if the structure could be beefed up enough to handle it. Not because it is all that great in the end, but simply because it would or could be done.
I would also consider a 2 door regular cab short box TRX. just because that makes offroad access easier in many cases.
Still the only real high end car I even want is the manual trans Supercharged Caddy Blackwing. so If I was going to waste money on bespoke things, that would be the one I would do it on. Perhaps Black body work, dark bronze accents and as much of the unnecesary driver aids that just add weight removed. possibly the old Vette see through hood section grafted in for good measure.
They sell them at a local dealer. Think they had a Hellcat convertible too.
Only new player building anything I’d want would be Morgan and I’d have them build a Super 3 with a rear-sliding canopy. I don’t know custom builders, but I’d shop around and find one to build my designs. For more real cars, I’d have someone build me a replica 250 GTO with a Lamborghini V12 and maybe Eagle could build me a lightweight low drag E-Type with a nose more like a D-Type (or maybe I’d have to go the other way around due to the E’s cowl).
Putin’s ultimate legacy: Turning Russia into a Chinese client state. Xi must be ROTFLHFAO.
Inferiority complexes are a helluva thing.
TBQ: I’d Have Cadillac build me two cars:
1) A Ciel on the Celestiq platform.
2) A neEeEewww Allante!! on the C8 platform. [insert Bundy bounce gif]
“Which carmaker would you have make a bespoke car for you and what would you have them do?”
I want an EJ207-powered, full STi driveline stuffed into my 2023 Crosstrek Sport.
I follow a guy on Instagram that fully swapped a wrecked last generation STi into a shell of a Crosstrek, and it is glorious. He even put the full interior and dash from the STi into that thing. It is absolutely my dream version of a bespoke daily driver.
What will it cost me to get steel wheels, cloth seats, hand crank windows and a plain old AM/FM radio?
I’ve got those specs! No manual transmission though.
The cost of a time machine is astronomical.
I still see this on some 3/4 ton and up work trucks. though increasingly less each year.
But I want it to be a stripper Rolls Royce. Just so I can one up my friend who married someone named Porsche…*
*I was going to reference Mercedes in that joke, but decided to try and show some respect.
It would be interesting to see if they upcharge or give you a discount if you took that elevator tot he office and tried to ask for that.
For TBQ, can I go back in time? Because I’ll do a SRT Viper (SRT was an actual brand for 2 years, and I think it best fits the 5th gens, so I want an SRT Viper dammit) bespoke!
May have quite the odd look to it though.
As many punches as they are getting, Stellantis ought to change their name to Everlast. Then again, I never heard of a punching bag working so hard to punch itself and be punched by dealers, consumers, governments, unions, suppliers…
Fight, fight, fight!
I’ve always dreamed of taking some weird, old car and secretly turning it into a modern, luxurious-yet-quick ride. Like cram a BMW inside the shell of a Gremlin.
Give me an AWD Corolla, Tundra i-force V8 Swap please.
Shouldn’t a Rolls inspired by the Nike of Samothrace be a drophead?! I’ll see myself out…
But first, any management shakeup at Stellantis that doesn’t involve kicking out Carlos ‘pictured above’ Tavares would seem to be hilariously missing the point. As much as I love reading about his antics, I don’t want to see the brands under Stellantis sink any further than they already have. So I hope the board has a clue, but I wouldn’t bet on it.
The company is doing terribly! Let’s fire … people taking orders from the boss!
lol. Made my whole day.
A stretched Toyota GR86 with proper rear doors.
Think a 7/8th size Porsche Panamera.
Wait, no.
A modern Subaru WRX hatchback with 6MT.
“A modern Subaru WRX hatchback with 6MT”
THIS. I would be in line today with cash in hand for a new WRX hatch.
I would maybe consider a GR86 as it is if they offered it with the STI motor.
I don’t need a bespoke car. I just need to wait patiently for another eight years and three months so I can bring over an early Tata Nano.