I’m in the mountains of Utah about to drive the new Ford Ranger, and I’m excited! The old truck was based on bones that had been sold overseas since the Paleolithic era, so it’s about time Ford spruced up its mid-sizer. In addition to a new frame, a new suspension, and new engines (there’s a 2.7-liter and 3.0-liter turbo to go along with the same 2.3 from last year), there’s a fresh interior and exterior — it’s an all-new truck, and it now comes in Raptor form — a treatment previously reserved for only overseas Ford Rangers.
The one thing I’m most excited about is the Watt’s link on the Ranger Raptor. Honestly, the fact that Ford
[Editor’s Note: This is where all the information from David ends, in mid-sentence, just like the encyclopedia entry for Delaware or something. We haven’t been able to re-establish contact with David to confirm what is going on, or what the “honest” fact about Ford was that he was about to say. Was he about to blow the lid off something big, and Ford silenced him? Maybe!
Has he already gotten into his Raptor and taken off into the snowy mountains? Probably, right? And if that happened, it stands to reason that David has been found by one or more Sasquatches, and was likely pulled out of the Ranger and taken to their Sasquatch King, possibly for mating purposes. We really just don’t know, but at this point, this is the best theory we have.
What we do know is we have a few photos, ones that give us some idea about this new Ranger. So, I’ll use the extensive information David provided us to figure out the significance of each photo. Like this interior picture which seems to include, um, seats:
Looks pretty nice in there, nothing too surprising, at least not yet. I wonder what you can do in those seats? The lower part looks capable of cradling human buttocks, but so far, this is just speculation.
We also got this image of the bed and open tailgate, which early reports suggest are at the “rear” of the “truck.” Those taillights sure have a big notch in them, too, which may function as a second step, after the one by the bumper. Also, let’s zoom and enhance that tailgate edge:
Look at that! It’s graduated, like a ruler, and me, if my shop teacher wasn’t such a liar. Also it looks like that little cut-out section is for a C-clamp to be placed there? Is that what that symbol is?
Okay, what else do we have?
Colors! Look at all the colors! There’s a light-gray fog color, a nice vivid blue, a bold red, a more steely blue, and then they repeat.
Also, let’s zoom in on that sign in the corner:
Ah ha! You’re supposed to fill it with sand! Precious, precious sand! I wonder if Ford is filling it with sand, or some other powders? David should get to the bottom of this.Â
So, yeah, at this point, this is all we know. Please, if there’s anything you want to know, put your questions in the comments, and if we ever get back ahold of David – who by now I’m just about certain is consort to the Great Sasquatch King, Grandeped III, all hail his Hairy Excellence, then we’ll make sure he reads them and finds out.
But let’s be honest: David is likely gone, part of the Sasquatch community now. We should all just be happy we knew him as long as we did, and hope he brings as much joy to his new Sasquatchian peers as he did us. – JT]
Ok, so how does this differ from the visually at least very similar “new” ranger/ranger raptor we have had in Australia For the last year or two?
And follow up question what is it about these utes that make you need to be precisely 3.5mm away from the person in front’s rear bumper?
Wait, this is a body on frame vehicle with separate cab and bed. It’s still called an Ute in Koala-land?
Yep, if it’s a called a truck here it’s probably a box truck or a semi trailer (or at the very least commercial cabover with large flatbed). Anything like a ranger, Hilux and even the ram 1500s and F150s that have started popping up are considered utes.
Visually almost not at all probably, it’s the same vehicle just assembled in the USA vs Thailand and with exclusively gasoline engines currently, no diesel ever or hybrid yet etc.
The raptor is obvious in why you’d want one but do the other trims justify the rangers higher price than the maverick?
David’s missing? Ranger danger! Ranger danger!
Or in the mind of Torch, Hairy Stranger Danger!
You will get David back safe and sound once he tells me that Toyota’s are better than Jeeps.
Toyotas are better at being built by a company HQ’d in Japan? Toyotas are better at having electronically actuated transfer cases? Toyotas are better at having IFS? Anything can be better than anything in the right context.
The new ranger isn’t all new again, was still a heavily revised T6 platform same as the global Ranger
When is the PHEV version coming to the US?
This is the only thing that I want to know as well.
Will there be a hybrid?
I hope David isn’t getting paid by the word.
What’s the payload for the Raptor edition? How much can you tow with it? Will Ford be brave and come out with extended cab and regular car versions of the Ranger?
With the sale of the Maverick hitting over 90,000 what will Ford do to raise the sales of the Ranger?
When will we see one of these Rangers on a Hallmark Christmas movie?
Did David get kidnapped by a hoard of Jeep Amazonians and must now atone for his sins by restoring their fleet of Jeepsters with just a screwdriver and bailing wire?
If David was ever kidnapped by a tribe of Jeep Amazonians, we’d never hear from him again.
And I wouldn’t blame him.
How does the Ranger Raptor compare off-road-wise to the non-Raptor Broncos?
More betterer
Is this work the hype? People are obsessed with this thing, is it worth it or should we just move up to the full size?
I wasn’t sure what other staffer was writing the editor’s note at first, then the word ‘buttocks’ told me it was Torch.
It was the speculation about Sasquatch mating that tipped me off.
Will there be a Sasquatch trim that sits below Raptor with all the fun off-road goodies like front and rear lockers and a sway bar disconnect?
Fully boxed frame? How similar/different is the front suspension layout to a Bronco?
What are the factory tire options?
Basically, I want to know how similar it is to the Bronco from the frame down.
All I see is a giant empty space where a hybrid or PHEV should be parked.
RIP Regular David, long-live Sasquatch David!!!
The pups will be birthed in a rusty Jeep
Considering the debate on whether David is completely human, I think there is a good chance he was a Sasquatch/human hybrid all along. It explains alot. I thought aliens replaced him, but if he is part Sasquatch, it makes sense his affinity for the outdoors, cars that are returning to the earth, and his recent eco friendly attitude.
I’m just going to assume that it’ll be larger than that outgoing model. Sigh
Why is there no 7 Speed Manual (same unit in the Bronco)?
Why does the Ranger still have a steel body and bed while the the F-150 has aluminum ones?
F150 still have steel frame.. just aluminum bodies.
That’s why I said “steel body and bed” not ‘steel frame’
they paired the manual with the worst engine and decided no on wants one.
I’m not too particular about the engine provided I could get a manual transmission, though if I had my choice I’d prefer the 3.3L V6 out of the F-150 with a manual.
Could be happening because David has again visited our “pretty great “ state without declaring a Utah Autopian meetup? And no, I don’t know where he is.
He’s at Log Haven up Millecreek canyon, judging by that pic, which is either the second or third-most picturesque restaurant in the Valley (after La Caille).
I will confess to being mildly amused by the hilarity of announcing a new Ford Ranger in a place I’ve never seen one parked, and where I have twice confounded the valets by handing over the keys to my beat-to-shit 99 4Runner 5-speed. Like, this is neither an offroad destination nor anything resembling blue-collar work, so it is kinda funny to me.
That said, I hope David took his girl there, as it’s quite a nice place, and that the staff and other patrons were not alarmed by the reminder to get their tetanus shots in case he took a Jeep through.
Good call.
I was worried when I saw David at the Oscars party. I think he may have been planning to shed his whole life in favor of his new LA socialite future. Forget the sasquatches. I would canvas area wine tastings and yoga classes.
Can you imagine David hanging out with the Kardashians?
Nope. Not doing it. Nobody wants to find David when he’s wearing a spandex leotard.
What has been seen can not be unseen.
I support and hail our new Sasquatch overlords.
Are there plans to bring the phev version here?!
I would be shocked if they did (pun unintended).
I’m guessing this is Mill Creek Canyon, service there is horrible, we’ll actually horrible on most canyon/mountain roads in Utah.
Yup Mill Creek, the venue is Log Haven. Up the canyon just past Camp Tracy.
If so, then he could have gone completely native and is making a new cat compound at Camp Tracy. Yes, that is the name of the BSA camp in Mill Creek Canyon. And I can testify to the lack of service there, having spent several weeks in total at that camp. And there are several rusty camp vehicles that he is no doubt plotting to “rescue” and write articles about.
Utah represent!
From the angle of that photo, it’s entirely possible that we just don’t see the gap for a tail to go through the back of the seat. It could still probably be used by a human, but it may not actually cradle the buttocks if it is made for some other species.
It would be nice if an automobile manufacturer would take tails into consideration. Not all of us are primates with a genetic mutation that caused a loss of tails.
Has David pulled an Orlove and is now at the bottom of a ditch with a Ranger on it’s side?
Great historical reference! New Autopian T-Shirts await!
Bad idea DAVE TRACY has a girlfriend and now worried about Steph. But I am pretty sure she is more into me.
Eh, David not finishing something is pretty much par for the course.
Ask Stef, she knows where he is
https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/1116792962169442304/1216807501450707055/IMG_5733.jpg?ex=6601bb4b&is=65ef464b&hm=b4f354ba4dc8fb7451cf7c425372bcf617e1bd19617f7cf836c676568a12c26b&=&format=webp&width=606&height=808
Quote the Puffalump, “Nevermore.”
Is that a sneaky Disney shirt? Are those yellow dots little Mickey ears?