When I traveled before 2020, the “full-size car” row at Enterprise often yielded Chevy Impalas. This was one of those cars I disliked simply because it did everything merely OK and the manufacturer seemed content with that – even with a gas gauge that stayed stuck on “F” forever like GM cars in the seventies.
Here’s one to jog your memory just in case the name “Impala” pulls up any version of the long-lived Chevy nameplate but a tenth-gen, which would be understandable:
Spacer
Those Impalas reminded me of the Toyota Avalon, but without the promise of longevity and reliability. Still, the Chevy had a downright outstanding feature in the so-called “dashboard safe.” There it is behind the slide-up infotainment screen:
Ten years ago, companies tended to blend the infotainment screen into the dash instead of the typical Dell-monitor-on-a-strut crap we get today in cars. The big Chevy fit their screen nicely into the dash, and the designers likely noticed that this non-CRT monitor had a heaping hunk of space behind it. Instead of just leaving the void, they let you access it by having the screen raise electrically.
Since most people didn’t know about it, you could pretty safely leave your phone or other items in there outside of view of curious eyes. It’s brilliant!
Here’s another feature I like in a car I don’t love. I don’t hate the big 1995-99 final Buick Riveira, but unless I turn into an 83-year-old woman that needs to get to a coffee klatsch canasta club, I have no interest in purchasing a giant two-door luxury coupe. Ah, but like the Impala, this barge holds a few tricks up its sleeve that I wish had caught on with other makes and models.
Do you hate hunting for the “passenger temperature” buttons on a confusing center stack of a car when you ride shotgun? The big Riv had the passenger temp control mounted on the passenger’s door panel where it was easy to see and use. No confusion.
Oh, but this rather catfish-faced two-door had another fabulous feature. Do you enjoy spraying PB Blaster on your rusty license plate bolts and having that corrosive shit ruin your paint in order to remove your damn license plate? I don’t like it either, but you’ll never do that in a Buick. Look, the license plate just slides into a slot that’s only visible when the trunk lid is open.
What about you? What are some desirable features you can think of on otherwise undesirable-to-you cars? Are there some equivalents to the Pontiac Aztek cooler/console or the license plate light logo and super-night-sun-bright backup lamps on a Sunfire rental car that you wish your cool enthusiast car had? Let us know!
I like the fact that Hyundai around 2010 started putting XM radio into literally every single car they made. Including the $13k base model 2011 Accent I had for a short time. Damn thing didn’t have ABS, but it had XM radio.
My first car, a ’62 Sedan de Ville, had a large button on the floor next to the brake pedal. Put your foot down on it and the radio would advance to the next station. Didn’t even need to reach wayyyyy over to push the button on the radio itself.
It does exist! My father and I owned a ’59 Buick Electra 225 and we could not figure out what that damn fat button on the floor did. One day we turned on every electrical thing we could think of. He stood out front of the car while I kept an eye on the interior. I hit the button and we both about died laughing when the radio station changed. Over the years I’ve occasionally searched the internet to see if it was actually an option, but I’ve never found proof of it. Thanks for confirming it wasn’t my imagination!
I’d like my shocks to be controlled by me, so I can go up my driveway without scraping the air dam. Damn driveway is keeping me from getting a CTR or GR Corolla! But I don’t want a 6-3 Impala. Should be standard equipment.
My 1983 Starion had a lift-up center console between the seats with a hidden compartment inside the cover. Perfect for drugs and condoms.
Had that problem with our cars but they have enough clearance at the rear to back in without bottoming out.
My ’89 Mercury Tracer – and the concurrent Mazda 323s – had a storage drawer beneath the passenger seat.
I know that R230 SL’s had these too – perhaps other Mercedes did as well?
My ’71 Volvo 144S had a gap between the front seats (no console in those early cars) that was the perfect width for a box of wine. When facing the rear, the spout in back was just the right height off the floor to fill your little clear plastic cup…
My ’98 Ford Ranger XLT Supercab had an armrest in the split bench seat that you could open and store cassettes one direction, or CDs the other direction (or whatever else you wanted to stash in there…) There was also space behind the stowed jumpseats inside the bodywork where you could stash gloves, jumper cables, etc.
The A207 E Class Cabriolet has the individual window switches on the doors – but in the console ahead of the armrest, you flip up a little upholstered pad and there’s a large u-shaped switch to operate the roof, and inside the U of the roof switch, there’s another switch that operates all windows simultaneously. The subsequent E Class cabriolet and the S Class cabriolet had similar switches in the console mounted side by side.
I also liked the “Air Cap” feature on those cabriolets, which when operated lifted an air foil above the windscreen, similar to a sunroof air deflector – which when used in conjunction with the air deflector between the rear headrests, would eliminate all buffeting within the car when at speed with the roof down and windows up. The other great thing about those last E Class cabriolets is that when you operated the roof, the partition in the trunk would open automatically to give the roof space to fold into – if you have something in the way inside the trunk, the roof will not open.
The original Saab 9000 had not just one or two, but three DIN openings, plus another opening at the bottom that was taller and narrower than DIN for a pair of gauges (the factory offered a faceplate for this) or – just random storage? So you could have a DIN stereo in one, a DIN CD player in the second one, and the third could be an ashtray and lighter, cassette or CD storage (also factory parts) – or you could put maybe an equalizer/amp or a set of gauges (also factory supported by a faceplate from the parts desk) in the third DIN? So the Saab 9000 had the most customizable dash – possibly ever?
Oh wait – This was supposed to be about cars I don’t like?
Oh well….