What If Costco Made A Kirkland-Brand Car?

Do I need toilet paper? I either forget to buy it when I’m walking the football-field-sized warehouse of Costco, or I don’t remember that we already have plenty at home, so that combined with the extra hundred packs I will now bring home my two young boys will now have enough to make an American Gladiators style pit in the basement rec room. Which they will do.

The Costco experience is always a distracting one. It doesn’t help that they pepper the aisles with new products and people in hairnets offering everything from energy drinks to sizzling sausage for you to try; go there around noon to graze the samples aisle and you won’t need lunch if you grab a churro on the way out the door. Yes, I know that they dropped churros from the menu recently but they will come back. If not, there will be overturned carts and burning RAV4s in the parking lot like it was Woodstock 99 all over again. Don’t mess with the few luxuries us suburbanites enjoy!

You can’t buy a house there, but you never know if you’re going to see a full-sized storage shed or walk-in greenhouse like the one I bought last month. Still, I’ve always dreamed of turning a corner of the store and finding a display similar to this Isuzu commercial from way back:

While you can currently purchase a car in a program with your Costco membership, the idea of buying a vehicle off the warehouse floor might be an interesting idea. Also, it could be a great opportunity for a certain car manufacturer that could use some help in a bunch of ways, not the least of which being brick-and-mortar sales locations.

A mega pack of tissues, some Kirkland sandals, and an EV SUV in your cart for the person at the exit to check off with a highlighter pen? Sign me up. Here’s how it could work.

Compact Sedans On Aisle 6

If you’ve ever noticed the graphics-covered vehicles parked in the forecourts or entrance areas of stores, you already know Costco sells cars – at least sort of. With your membership, you can get set pricing from many different brands at a discounted rate (typically around $1000 off the MSRP, depending on the overall cost of the car) through one of around 3000 participating dealers. With hundreds of thousands of cars sold through this program each year, Costco is one of the top sellers in the country, though they obviously aren’t really selling them through the warehouse locations themselves.

What I have in mind is to actually buy the car right then and there. Take a test drive, sign the papers, load up your month’s worth of Granola bars, then drive off.

It’s been done before. Sears was easily as big of a juggernaut as Costco in years past, an ever-present force in retail so large that by the seventies they ended up building the tallest office building in the world (and if you live in Chicago it is STILL called the Sears Tower, dammit). In the early fifties, the mega-retailer sold a car through their stores called the Allstate. Essentially a rebadged Kaiser Henry J compact with a few minor changes, it came loaded up with Sears products like their own brand of tires and battery. Since this was a Sears, you could get your Allstate car insurance right then and there since the agency was still under their umbrella.

Ultimately, the Allstate was not a market success, yet that doesn’t mean the idea couldn’t work. This was still the day of the traditional car sales outlet, and I think Sears was probably a bit too ahead of their time. A bigger issue might have been that the Henry J wasn’t a spectacular car, and the compact segment was hardly hot back in those gasoline-for-pennies days.

Costco is known for selling products under their “Kirkland” label that are often made by more well-known brands, yet sold with Costco’s no-frills nameplate that ostensibly gives consumers a better value.

There are a few car brands out there that might be able do this as well, and I can see one with potential that honestly could use a break or two these days.

Is It Just Me Or Is That A Dumb Name?

Much has been written recently about the Vietnamese automaker Vinfast, as the relatively new maker of EVs has had a bit of a rough launch here in the United States. More than one publication that tested the brand’s first model (the VF8, below) has declared the VF8 not really ready for launch. Primarily the issues have been electrical and software-related, such as screens shutting down or functions just flat out not working. Others have said the ride, handling, and interior materials could be better. Set aside the fact that the name of the brand sounds like “your car’s identification number is going quickly” or “the bald guy in The Fast and the Furious films going at a high rate of speed”.

Reading through most of the reviews it appears that testers do actually like a number of aspects of the car, and we’re all looking for a good value EV these days. Many of Vinfast’s issues could be fixed, or are in the process of being rectified; the problem is that these things take time and effort. As much as people criticize the US model Yugo, it could have been far, far worse: the importer Malcolm Bricklin said that he needed a separate assembly line in Yugoslavia and had to make over 1000 changes to the car to make it ready for American sale. Also, I’ve heard that Porsche engineers claim that to take a car from a “pretty good” handling machine to an “exceptional” one takes at least a year. Still, the change can happen; in the early sixties “made in Japan” was the punchline of a joke about poor quality and substandard performance, but in 1970 they brought us the 240Z. Are you familiar with that car?

Vinfast has been working on setting up a brick-and-mortar dealership network here in the states, and understandably it appears to be slow going. In my opinion, they need to focus any and all of their energies on making a better product; if not, they’ll run out of money and goodwill before they even get started. The brand currently means nothing to most American shoppers, and those who do know might have a negative opinion. Enter Costco.

If They Won’t Sell Vasectomies, Then At Least Sell A Car For Five Kids

One segment of the EV market that seems underserved right now is the large seven-seat SUV category. The few entries (like the Rivian R1S) are prohibitively expensive, and if there’s one thing that comes with having more than the average 2.5 kids it’s going to Costco. I’d like to start by offering the largest Vinfast – the VF9 – as the Kirkland Signature EV7.

The VF9 is a relatively attractive and modern SUV design with some quirky details that I find a bit objectionable and polarizing. If there’s one thing that a Kirland-branded Costco product cannot have, it’s polarizing bits. Up front, I’ve modified the nose and brought the giant lower side intakes down to make the front appear lower. The front “grille” has been shaped to look a bit like a cut-rate Range Rover; if there’s one thing Kirkland products want to be it’s “premium,” and faking that six-figure British SUV is a perfect way to do it.

In back, the wraparound taillight of the Vinfast is similar to the backlights on the Rivian. There are odd love-’em-or-hate-’em “bow tie” shapes on the C-pillars that fell a bit design-for-design’s-sake.

Again, a Costco car has to appeal to essentially everyone. I’ve covered the bow tie with black glossy panels to form full-width side windows also not unlike on Land Rover products, and some of the Vinfast’s fussy detailing on the rocker panels has been removed. The Kirkland SUV sort of emulates the latest Range Rover with a “loop” taillamp around the license plate, and I’ve removed the wraparound lights of the VF9. Note too that I’ve integrated the side marker lamps into the wheel arches, as on the front of the car.

In all, we’ve cleaned up the shape to become a Kirkland “hotel artwork” kind of car; something that at worst won’t offend and at best might call to mind a more expensive object.

Inside, I’ve read mixed reviews of the Vinfast materials quality; our own Thomas Hundal found the interior of the VF8 he drove to have supple leather and reasonable craftsmanship, while others have claimed that the materials called to mind a ten- or fifteen-year-old General Motors product. Ultimately, it probably won’t matter. Remember, most buyers are not nearly as picky as us often-snobbish Autopians, and I can virtually guarantee that the vast majority have as much interest in cars as most readers of this site have in Olympic water polo. For many a Costco shopper, if they can get a Rivian-type large SUV for thirty percent less than the cost of that American EV (which has not always been consistent with quality either) then they’ll sign the papers while the kids throw those ultra-cheap hot dogs at each other.

The important thing is to have Vinfast focus on improving the product to an acceptable, competitive level and letting someone else deal with selling it. What will that process look like?

You Got An SUV But Still Forgot The Vitamin Mega Pack

R U going to Costco at lunch? says the text from your better half. You’d likely rather get a root canal while deep cuts for Limp Bizkit play in the dentist’s office, but reluctantly you agree to grab the items on the list she’s about to send you.

After showing your membership card, you walk into the front lobby area where they sell anything from air conditioners to coffins (I’m not making that up) and you stop in your tracks: There’s a big kiosk in front of you with a big white SUV glowing under lights. You’ve seen the cars in the Costco lobby for years, but this display with KIRKLAND SIGNATURE Electric Vehicles on it tells you this is different.

This is not a car you’ve seen before. The styling is nice, the interior looks reasonable, and the yellow Costco price tag in the window says “$69,000”. That’s a no-haggle number, and not exactly a giveaway price, but you’ve web-searched the few EVs available that are this big, and they list for what you paid to buy your first condo.

The salesman approaches and explains the many features; he offers to take you on a test drive in one of the Kirkland SUV demos parked in a covered area out in the parking lot. You’re impressed with the thing, and before the salesman takes you back to his glass cubicle at the kiosk he shows you how two of the tire installation bays are now dedicated to EV service.

In the office, the salesman explains the financing and leasing options available to you. You ask if owners typically shop while they bring the car back for oil changes, and then catch yourself. There are Costco-branded accessories like a refrigerator; fitted luggage; tablets that fit into the dashboard or backs of the headrests; roof and trailer hitch-mounted carriers and more – all of which work seamlessly with the car. There are even shopping bags designed to fit the Costco carts that also fit perfectly in the cargo area of your Kirkland SUV.

You take the bait and order a grey one that will be delivered to you in a week. It’s Costco – can you really go that wrong?

Membership Has Its Privileges

Could the idea work? A car is just another product to deal with for many people, and shoppers tend to take the path of least resistance, so this kind of one-stop-shopping might work. I can’t tell you how many products I’ve purchased at Costco without really doing much comparison on the web or looking at reviews. I figure it’s a good deal, it has a warranty, and if it sucked this big retailer would have hell to pay with its customers. Conversely, any startup company will have a tough time of it at first, and Vinfast seems to have potential but a long way to go; they certainly don’t need to expend the horsepower on building a sales network. A partnership like this might be a winning combination for both parties.

Besides, I hate when I buy my churro or hotdog and stand there away from the screaming kids at the tables and eat it alone with nothing to do. I’d rather look at cars.

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