Which Car Desperately Deserves A Performance Variant?

Be it a chassis that craves more power, styling that requests more speed, or the absurdity of making something slow go really quickly, some cars just goad you into wanting a performance variant. Think Ford Fiesta ST, Lexus GS F, or Mercedes R63 AMG. However, much to the chagrin of many enthusiasts, not every car gets a performance variant. So, here are a few that deserve a faster version.

Back in the early 2000s, Subaru had a problem: The Forester was beloved by those in snowy climes, but the stock 2.5-liter naturally-aspirated boxer four would run out of puff at high altitudes. This was solved using the only method Subaru knew – by dropping in a turbocharged engine and calling it the Forester 2.5 XT. The results were astounding. Car And Driver tested one with a manual gearbox and found it to run from zero-to-sixty in 5.3 seconds. That’s quicker than a Nissan 350Z and a Honda S2000, and tied with a Jaguar XJR. A most devious four-wheeled embodiment of British aristocracy would merely be side-by-side with a frumpy Japanese crossover that had a dryer vent stuck to its hood. Sensational.

Roughly twenty years later, Subaru isn’t the same company it used to be, but that doesn’t mean that lightning can’t strike twice. All the ingredients are there for a surprisingly zesty crossover, it just requires a bit of courage. See, Subaru already builds the WRX in the same Gunma, Japan plant the new Crosstrek will be made in, and both ride on the same SGP architecture. Everything from engine to gearbox to differentials to front subframes could be carried over from the WRX to create a Crosstrek XT, which would absolutely print money in high-altitude locales. Sure, some revisions would be required, but the bulk of the hard work already exists in Subaru’s parts bin. While a Crosstrek XT won’t embarrass a Nissan Z, it’ll certainly surprise an MX-5 owner or two.

Here’s another performance variant that would require very little effort: Did you know that Volkswagen makes a Tiguan R? Not in America, mind you, but Europe gets a 316-horsepower Tiguan with a torque vectoring rear differential and an available Akrapovic exhaust system. Why is this not here? Well, the European Tiguan rides on a wheelbase 4.3 inches shorter than that of the American model, so a new driveshaft and new side skirts would be required at the minimum. Otherwise, I reckon it’s largely game on. Imagine a vehicle for the family who’s outgrown a Golf R. Maybe they adopted a second labradog or need space for a second pram. Whatever the case, a Tiguan R sounds just about perfect.

While fast crossovers are all well and good, nothing beats a minivan as the ultimate family hauler. Toyota has a hard time building enough Siennas to meet demand, but they’d have an even harder time if they took the Hybrid MAX powertrain from the Grand Highlander, dropped it in the Sienna and gave the van proper sports suspension to create a TRD Sienna. Imagine an all-wheel-drive minivan with 400 lb.-ft. of torque. The children would never be late to school again.

Let’s set the record straight: Street trucks are the shit, have been the shit, and will always be the shit. I will never look at a tastefully-done street truck and not think fuck yeah. Even the Chevrolet S-10 Xtreme with its meager-by-modern-standards output is just cool, and Ford is sitting on a prime opportunity for a Maverick ST. Take the 2.3-liter Ecoboost engine out of the outgoing Lincoln Corsair, pair it to a six-speed manual gearbox from a Focus RS, shove the whole thing in a Maverick and then add the torque-vectoring rear diff from the Maverick Tremor. Boom, now you have a nigh-on 300-horsepower drivetrain that can party.

Next, drop that sucker to the ground on 20-inch wheels, bolt on a Redwood-sized rear anti-roll bar, add a body kit louder than a Joyryde set, bolt in a set of Recaros, paint the whole truck a lurid shade of tangerine, and suddenly you have the ultimate all-in-one Ford. It would haul car parts as well as ass. Long live the fast Ford.

Alright, I supposed I should offer up an actual performance car idea that isn’t a fast crossover or something. Here goes nothing: Infiniti Q50 IPL. It’s no secret that Nissan is planning a hopped-up Nismo version of the new Z, and the shared FM platform means that the powertrain bits will largely bolt into an Infiniti Q50 sedan. Push power north of 400, stick a manual gearbox in the tunnel, use the console from the European-market diesel model to fit the shifter, chuck in a limited-slip diff, throw steer-by-wire in the bin, and sell that sucker for $60,000. I’ll admit, it’s a niche vehicle, but if all the bits exist then why not?

Anyway, I’m just spitballing ideas here. What I really want to know is what vehicle you think deserves a performance variant. Do you wish Mercedes-AMG would build an E63 Coupe Black Series? Do you dream of a really fast Mitsubishi Mirage? Are you tickled pink by the thought of an inappropriately zesty Toyota Prius? Whatever the case, I want to hear from you.

(Photo credits: Subaru, Volkswagen, Toyota, Ford, Infiniti)

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