You Can Buy A 12-Cylinder Geo Metro For Your Next Commuter Car/Assisted Suicide Machine If You’d Like

Geo Metros for sale on Facebook Marketplace tend to be of two different types: forgotten and neglected stock Metros, often having spent a long retirement in a backyard, or so-rational-they’re-bonkers hypermiler’s experimental vehicles with extensive and maybe ill-advised aero modifications. It’s not likely you’ll find another category of Metro, though Facebook Marketplace researchers have theorized that some likely could exist, at least hypothetically: pristine preserved cars, bought and stored away almost immediately; painstakingly restored Metros, funded as part of some sort of money laundering scheme; and the least-expected one, highly modified twin-V6-engined Metros that look like they’re designed to transform a living human into about 48 ounces of a chili-like substance. Incredibly, a member of this last category has been found.

Yes, that’s correct, at this moment there is a Geo Metro for sale in Lake Worth Beach, Florida, that has been modified to replace the original one-liter, three-cylinder engine making 55 horsepower with a pair of  3-liter V6 Mitsubishi 6G72 engines, each making about 210 hp. These were normally found in 2000-2005 Mitsubishi Eclipse GT cars, and then only one per car.

This particular Geo Metro, built by a Redditor and automotive experimenter who goes by the handle Spinalsign5357, mounts a V6 at each end, front and rear, transversely, along with a lot of extensive bodywork, lightening, welding, and some complicated shift linkage work, too. It seems like an absolute Frankenstinian nightmare, something that would cause any sort of automotive deity interested in measured, rational goodness to recoil in horror.

I’m going to reproduce for you the entire seller’s description from the ad here, because I find the extensive pro and con list fascinating reading:

Seller’s description

V6 swapped Twin Engine Geo Metro . I built this car to be solid in all areas , but if you’re a perfectionist type owner, look elsewhere .

I updated the video on here to include an acceleration . That was done over 2 years ago . Pull was on street tires , pump gas , and stock internals . Engines are code 6g72 sohc v6 from Mitsubishi Eclipse gt model 2000-2005 .

Pro : The Geo’s total weight with both engines is less than the original weight of the vehicles each engine came from . So if you were to drive either the front or rear engine by itself , it would be at a 200 pound weight reduction advantage.

Pro : Unless it’s a failure that affects the vehicle as a whole , like a flat tire or failed ball joint, if one engine were to break down for any reason , you’d have the other to get home with .

Pro : Instead of relying on one engine to make decent power and worrying it may blow up or be less reliable due to wanting to make more power with forced induction or NOS. These engines are stock, so they aren’t being stressed beyond stock with weight or heat , and the two combined is like driving a single engine car with half the weight .

Pro : Stock engines, transmissions, clutches, and axles .

Pro : Has all working lights, windshield wipers, and reverse camera .

Pro : It’s fast and fun to drive with lots of torque .

Pro : Runs on Pump gas and rolling on street tires .

Pro : I’ve tested for months and driven this vehicle from 0-150mph plus at least six times, so I trust it .

Pro: Not so loud straight through exhaust with removable DB killers.

Pro : Has fwd front and rear disc brakes .

Pro: Each engine has there [sic] own fuel pump and is wired to a fuel inertia cut off switch .

Pro: It has approx 440hp , 400tq , and 12 cylinders. So light throttle in the Geo is a single engine’s car part throttle . The Geo’s part throttle is a single engine’d car’s half throttle. And so on .

Pro : It weighs 3000 lbs and it can be made to weigh much less .

Pro : A history of this build is online , so you can get behind the scenes before buying. Accelerations , build progress ect. GoogleTwin Engine Geo Metro or Youtube Spinalsign5357 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNOxCkCK33puh2VpKc0fxGw

Pro : It’s an 11 second N/A street car .

Pro : Handles pretty good. Has a short wheel base .

Pro : It’s in the top 3 fastest Geo Metro’s on earth, that I know of .

Pro : The Geo is my third twin engine build. My first was unsuccessful. Second I still drive an own .

Pro/Con : This isn’t a show car . It’s a rough around the edges , body in sheet aluminum , riveted , that I throw a thick tarp over to protect from the elements . No paint can take thick tarp abuse. This is a ” mechanic’s beater car ” that he doesn’t beat hard , does take care of , and is fun to drive .

Pro/Con : The aluminum sheet body is durable, but could use a buff and does stain if an animal urine’s on it . Stains can be buffed or brushed out . Urine stains caught early can be wiped off with bleach. I wipe it down to keep a sheen with baby oil .

Pro/Con : I removed the mass airflows for one less driveabilty issue to worry about , but that cuts mpg in half.

Con : No gas gauge , I use the trip meter to count miles and refill at certain distances , then reset .

Con : It’s awd , fwd , rwd , but not locked awd .Meaning if you full throttle floor it from a dead stop , you can break loose and spin the front and the rear independently from each other . Even more so in rain . So you have to have common sense . It has 400 tq, so I ease into throttle from a dead stop and gradually mash it faster to full throttle . Every other gear is fine to just go straight full throttle . Unless it’s raining .

Con: It could use an alignment , I took it off the road before dialing that in 100% . The wheel is straight , it goes straight , and it doesn’t wear tires crazy fast the way it is .

Con: Would be better suited for an experienced driver .

Con : You do have some braking , but you have to depress the clutch to have full braking .

Con : No windshield defroster , abs , a/c , or power steering ( though easy to turn with a 17 inch steering wheel ) I weigh 130lbs , its easy to turn .

Con : Six areas need to be checked often for tightness . Wheel lugnuts , and front motor mount bracket nuts and bolts .I have semi solid mounts , that’s why . And although these trans are open diff , it acts like a welded diff , in the having to check lug nut tightness realm .

Con : I didn’t dial in the force a brake skid to make sure go straight test . An alignment should take care of that , but the way it is nowit favors an ass right in a lock situation .

Con : I built this from scratch , it was a long build can honesly say I only cut corners in only two areas . A steering wheel adapter weld , and flushing dead flat the aluminum racing’s seat’s seat posts to frame.

Con : No emergency brake.

Con : Sold as is, no warrantee , no test drives ( unless the buyer and purchased ) , This car isn’t a ” project car ” it’s ready to drive , I just didn’t 100% everything . I test drove for months improving it along the way to where it can be let go and can pretty much have an answer for anything that could pop up or if someone would want details on .

Con/Pro: Comes as pictured in video,no tarp or wheel savers . I do have a hood , and some spare parts , but not much

There’s honestly so much in there I don’t know where to start. Maybe at the assertion it’s one of the three fastest Geo Metros on Earth? I bet the seller is right about that! I also appreciate how the most maintenance advice given is about how to deal with the bodywork if an animal urinates on it.

There are a number of videos of the car as it was being built, too, and they’re definitely worth watching:

Here’s one proving it’ll hit 150 mph, which must be mind-scramblingly terrifying:

Honestly, this is an amazing machine. Is it worth the $70,000 being asked for it? That I have no idea. I have no doubt $70,000 worth of effort and labor and a perverse sort of love went into the making of this thing, but would a rational human pay that for this car?

That’s sort of a trick question, I suppose: no rational human is even going to be looking at this thing, and that’s fine, because it’s too badass for them, anyway. This thing is raw id, rendered in aluminum and steel and rubber. It’s a deathtrap that, perversely, injects so much life into you while you’re maniacally trying to control it that you’ll be in danger of budding and spawning clones of yourself, who are born fully-formed and screaming.

This thing is all sharp edges and madness, something that was formed from the collective resistance of everyone who ever didn’t feel like wearing a helmet on a motorcycle. It’s fast and loud and a genuine affront to reason.

There are a lot of fast cars you could buy for $70,000. But there’s only one you can buy that will make people slowly back away from you as you pull up in it, only one that will convince everyone around you that you are capable of literally anything, and they should probably keep their distance.

There’s kind of a sinister energy about this thing. It’s not exactly willfully evil, but it is somehow chaotic, like there’s a core of raw entropy at the heart of this thing and it only wants to disperse it out as much as possible. It doesn’t mean harm, it’s just something it has to do, like a mushroom poofing out spores.

But they can’t look away. They may try, but it’s not happening. Try to get that feeling in your new Corvette. Spoiler alert: you can’t.

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